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12:12 AM on 05.06.2015  

Cblogs of 05/05/15 + Scriptisms

Lately I have been kicking a lot of ideas in my head. And I do mean a lot. So much so, that I’m utterly confused. Do you ever had that feeling when there’s so many things you want to do that you don’t even know where to start? Well, that’s me right now. Add to that more deep-rooted, personal confusions and you have a mess of a brain space.

But I do have interesting news. Luna Sy recently reminded the Recap crew that we have a Twitter account that could see more use. So now we are discussing what we can do with it. The plan right now is to use it to give more exposure to the cblog community. We will tweet our Recaps, but also use it to promote community blogs, contests and other stuff. Personally, I’m hoping it will be a community hub that will foster more activity. So follow us if you want to be on the inside of anything related to the Dtoid community!

Talking about Twitter, I also created a personal account myself. I had one before, but I decided to delete it after getting fed up with it. Twitter is my least favorite form of social media. Between all the controversies, meltdowns and poorly thought out content being thrown at you, Twitter by its very nature limits interactions and discussions. Like any social media, Twitter encourages narcissism, but different from most social media, the relationships are asymmetrical. You can follow me but I can choose not to follow you. That allows me to spill all my dumb thoughts at you, but you have no voice with me. If I follow people that I know, and they don’t do the courtesy of following me back, how should I interpret this? For someone with social anxiety like me, Twitter is hell.

Despite all that, Twitter is not all bad and can be a great tool for (limited) interaction and for promotion. I created another account because I have a new purpose with it now, and I believe I learned from past mistakes. I’m also excited to contribute to the CblogRecaps account. It has a slight relation to my trade.

If you’re looking for videogame updates today, there aren’t any. I haven’t been playing much at all.

See you later, peeps.

* - long john ponders about a question asked by a game: “Is life meant to be shitty?”.

* - littlebadwolf remembers Nintendo Power for the Monthly Musing.

S - A surprise Comments of the Week on a Tuesday! Your hardwork is much appreciated, Dreamweaver.

A - Papa Smur... I mean, Papa Niero teaches us how to keep images from stretching in the new Cblog layout. Your hard work is also much appreciated, sir.

A - Sonic429 puts the thinking cap on and wonders if the market will crash.

A - Another TheKodu article about GamerGate.

P - Episode 22 of PStoid is out now!

Sakurai, the man that ages backwards.

S - ShadeOfLight shares with the community what has been afflicting him.

C - Ask anything to the Cyborg.

C - Ask anything to the Cock.

C - Ask anything to the Seymour.

T - JPF720 loves Bloodborne!

R - LPT Miller reviews the multiplayer shooter Fistful of Frags.

R - ScreamAid reviews the Castaway, dungeon-crawling goodness that is Mini Heroes.

N - Hoffmann is disappointed with this Tuesday’s bad news.

F - Fromage analyses what changed from the book in Game of Thrones Season 5.

L - RadicalYoseph reviews The Witcher, the original book version!

No fails! Keep it going keep it going fullstream.




8:44 PM on 05.05.2015  

Cblogs of 5-3-15 + Monthly Amazon-isms

Okay, so I need to get this done and get my focus back on the April recap, which even with over a week-and-a-half of cblog downtime is a massive beast. I still feel like I'm a day or two from getting it done, too. 

I'm tackling the process as it is for now, but also already discussing changes for May with the rest of the team. Basically, I don't like that my authorial voice is so dominant within the monthly and want some of the load shared to give that voice back to the rest of the team. 

What I'm saying here is I've developed a guilty conscience about what is really 10% of the process, 90% of it is getting all the links in there, categorized, mostly alphabetized, adding pictures and making sure those links don't break or lose their HTML code in the process. That 1,500-ish word that make the monthly recap you see are actually a 5,000 to 6,000 word behemoth starting out by just the links alone. After that, I sort those links out and add words back in, hoping I can weave everyone's opinions back in for how few words I can afford each blog.

The process is not pretty. The result has gotten prettier, though. Strider and Luna come in to tidy it up near the end, then I hop in later for another pass. Then I think Strider makes a pass at it again before it moves to the front page.

Anyway, I'm going move on to doing all that shortly. This whole last week and a half was rather frustrating and got in the way of me getting this stuff done, I'm going to think happy thoughts  and daydream about large, strong Amazonian women rescuing me from those frustrating things, kissing me all over and so such and I will be their loyal fairy. I guess you could say I'm excited about Combat Core's Ember being inspired by The Amazon from Dragon's Crown, which I just added to my PSN library. Now I don't have to buy a physcical copy for PS Vita again.

Anyway, I need to get on with these recaps. Enjoy 100% more amazons and fairies in the recaps today! 

Also, you can still ask me anything over in my AMA.

* - Swing your arms from side to side. Whitey, it's time to go do the Stupor Show!

* - Comments of the Week.

P - The Dead Pixels meet Laura. They probably talked about butts.

S - Tiannel gives us part 2 of a short story.

T - Whech uf zee 8th gen konsoles do you prefer? Tell zee Hoffmann!

T - Does nostalgia or youth keep Nintendo going? Little of column A and B plus high quality, I think.

R - Kooram reviews Endless Guardians.

C - Send support to a gamer with cancer. Details were sparse in the blog, but the user's Twitch channel is linked within.

No fails, now it's on to wrecking stuff with Amazons and working on the April recap!



2:24 PM on 05.03.2015  

Cblogs of 5/2/15 - Adventure Time with Bloodborne Unity

I finally beat Bloodborne, despite many inklings that I wouldn't be able to. I mean, I am self-admittedly a sucky gamer, and I thought after spending two hours against Father G that the rest of the game would be brutal. However, I found ways to cheese it while still being "legitimate" about it, so I managed to complete about 90% of the main game, which is good enough for me! The game is pretty fun though, and the last stretch of the game is probably the best part. Seriously, no spoilers (isn't it great to read one of my recaps without fear of spoilers?), but I really like the arena of the "final" boss, as it evokes memories of a similiar location of another game whose name I can't reveal because that would also be a spoiler.

Oh, so how did I "cheese" through the game? With two items: Cannon, and Bone Marrow Ash. A Cannon is something you can get halfway through the game, and though it takes 10 shots to fire, it deals relatively massive damage. Bone Marrow Ash nearly doubles the power of any shot from a gun, Cannon included. If you combine the two, especially with an upgraded Cannon (I got it up to +9 by the end of the game, and would've gotten it to +10 if I didn't give that to my Blade of Mercy), you can really put the hurt on bosses. Seriously, my stragedy has been get the boss down to half health on my own, then right as they go into the harder part of the fight, hang back and blast it to death. In fact, one boss fight had me taking down over 80% of the enemy's health with all four shots! Funny enough, I actually DIDN'T beat that boss, as it always gets me with its last 10%, but still, that's pretty damn powerful. Maybe with enough points in the Bloodtinge stat and +10 Cannon, I would've been able to kill it without needing my blade. Of mercy.

I've also been playing Assassin's Creed: Unity a bit. I know, I know, I'm scum, but I enjoy Assassin's Creed, and you know what? Unity did something right: it went back to basics and made assassinations fun again. Previous games treated assassinations as something to do, but one reason why the original Assassin's Creed is one of my favorites is because the actual assassination missions feels like you're doing something rather than going through the motions. In Unity seems to be options for those wanting to rush in like fearless killers, or those who want to wait in the shadows. One assassination in particular either has you silently picking off enemies one by one, or have you hide in one spot until he comes to you... at the risk of having to escape from every enemy you didn't choose to kill first. I think I could've actually balanced the two options, but I didn't want to spook the target with a dead body. Then again, this is Assassin's Creed we're talking about, so they probably would've shrugged it off.

Also, co-op missions are lacking, save from the first four player one you get. It may have been like any other mission, but it was kinda cool to roll through an Assassin's Creed mission with three other homies. I mean, it's a delight to run through the city stabbing fools on your own, but doing it as a group make you feel like battle buddies, and it's nice when someone saves you from getting shot in the face with a nicely timed assassination. It can get annoying when it's clear no one knows what they're doing (if the objective says escape the area, STOP FIGHTING AND RUN!), but sometimes I can't blame them: the first time I did a mission where we had to sneak into a building and assassinate someone, I didn't know where the window to get inside was. By the time I did eventually find it, the target's been dead for minutes and everyone's making their escape, and it's pretty easy to escape when you're already OUTSIDE the building.

Only thing left to say is that I'm actually getting into Adventure Time now. The first time I saw it, I didn't really "get" it, so I only watched a couple of episodes before deciding it wasn't for me. Now that I'm watching more and more episodes, from Season 1 to Season 6, with my more "open mind", I'm really digging it: the characters are pretty great, and the character developments are strangely endearing. Now, I know people have complaints for the way the show changed over the later seasons, but I guess as someone who's into both styles, I'm pretty okay with it. Seeing Finn be a fun-loving, adventure seeking character from the early episodes, then seeing him get depressed over romantic interests is an interesting turn for the character, and some of the later story "arcs" shows that serious stuff goes down in the land of Ooo. I recently caught an episode involving the Lich King, and while they didn't air the next episode (CURSE YOU, CARTOON NETWORK!), they ended the Lich King episode with a pretty cool "alternate universe" version of Finn and Jake, and I really want to see what happened next.

Also, this series actually gets full Season DVDs instead of the sample packs The Amazing World of Gumball and Steven Universe got, and I'm so totally gonna save up some money and nab some of these Blu-Rays to binge watch the episodes in their intended order! What's up with Cartoon Network and being weird with their airing schedules anyway? Why the hell would you divide two parters and air them separately for days, and weeks, from each other!?

Anyway, let's say I wanna get buy two seasons. Which two do you think I should buy? Should I go in order and get 1 and 2, or get the best two seasons and then pick up the other seasons whenever?

* - Your old pal CaltySlitorous decides to sit his ass down and pump out a blog (no, that's not a weirdly worded euphemism) about 10 Things that he enjoys at the moment. It does have some sexual content, but what do you expect from a guy with that kind of username?

* - N0signal is back with another blog about the Souls game! This time, he talks about the new Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin edition, and how he shakes things up by doing a playthrough in homage to the Berserk manga! A little late to make it as a Band of Blogger entry, but a Topsauce ain't too bad!

A - Did you hear about the recent bomb threat against GamersGate members that cancelled their little meeting? Well, you didn't hear it from Destructoid, and Sylveria Shini is pretty peeved. That's all I'll say on this subject. (Update: Dtoid posted an article after the post was written)

A - Reinhold Hoffmann stops posting beautiful fan art work (WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?) to talk about how the ESA thinks preserving old videogames is illegal because it's considered hacking. I personally think that, since videogame is art to me, that there should at least be a playable gaming museum.

R - Lord Spencer continues his series of SNES Reviews with the fan favorite Secret of Mana. Is it a secret why people love this game, or is it no wonder why we never got a sequel?

T - KingSigy has been playing Broken Age: Act 2, and he has some pretty mixed things to say about it. It's not that it's a bad game per se, but it has some shortcomings that prevent it from being a good one. Check out what he thinks here.

? - Titannel continues his series of not-videogame-related short stories that he wrote back in college to show off his writing capabilities!

- Dreamweaver



6:32 PM on 05.02.2015  

Cblogs of 5/1/15 + Theisms: A Casting Director Scammed Me Edition

On Monday, I'm just sitting at my desk there at the church when I get an email notification on my phone. It's an email address I've never seen before, and my phone only gives me a slight preview of the full message, but the subject of the email sticks out. It says "Tough Enough Submission."

So you remember last week when I talked about how I submitted a tape to WWE's Tough Enough competition in the off chance that I may get noticed? Well, apparently I got noticed. The email was from someone claiming to be a casting director for the show, and they wanted to set up a time to do a Skype interview.

Being someone who has had people try to scam him with stuff like this before, I called a buddy of mine to do some sleuthing. Note: if you ever plan on becoming a pro wrestler, either become good at sleuthing, or become friends with someone who is. I contacted him, another guy who trained me that has previous WWE experience, and another friend friends who is currently down at NXT. I wanted to see if this was legit or not.

I Googled the name of the casting director, and was pleased to find a legitimate IMDB page with experience casting for shows like Master Chef. My friend (the sleuther) checked out the phone number that was given for me to call and discovered it was a number belonging to the WWE offices in Los Angeles. At this point I began to freak out a little. This is my chance. As soon as I got out of work, I called the number...

...I got the voicemail. That's no problem, I left a very cordial message saying how excited I was to set up the interview, leaving my call back number and a "looking forward to hearing from you."

I didn't get a call back on Monday. So I called Tuesday. Voicemail. No call back. So I called Wednesday. Voicemail. No call back. I think you see where this is going.

Five days, five voicemails, zero calls back. There's a part of me that wants to leave the phone number here for you guys and say "You know, I'm not officially saying that you guys should call her and bomb her voice mail, but..." I'm not going to do that. First, I can probably get in trouble for that. Second, I've committed myself to calling her every week day until I either get an answer or a call back. So she better get very used to my voice, because she's going to hear it a lot. There's something to be said for persistence.

Thanks, John.

I can't say that I'm really that upset. I knew it was a long shot going in. I may have been riding high when I got that email, but I was back down to earth on Tuesday after that second voicemail.

So anyway, how you guys doing? Anything worth talking about happen on Destructoid this week? No? Alright, let's just move on to the recaps then.

* - Check out all of the awesome Band of Bloggers posts FROM April (see what I did there?). Dreamy McDreampants wrapped them all up in one neat little package.

* - OverlordZetta talks all about being sexual in games. Wait...it's not about being sexual? It's about sexism? That's way different.....well, my pants are already off, soooooo...

A - Games within games are a cool idea that Kratos282 explored in his latest blog. But he didn't include Kung Foot from Rayman Legends, so these results have at least a little margin of error...although, Car Crusher is pretty dope.

A - That handsome, bearded man that makes the great videos (no, not me, I'm talking about Jed) is enjoying the season, and spreading the love with some free games. Of course, they're probably all taken by now, but you never know.

S - I love when Dtoiders do “10 Things” blogs, here's one from Titannel.

F - Playstation Friday Night Fights, 24 hours too late.

F - Playing Smash with Dtoid community members probably would have been fun, but you're late to the party on that one as well.

F - Xbox FNF: Third verse, same as the first. You should probably check the Cblogs on Fridays if you want to know when these things are.

T - As long as Bam Margera doesn't make an appearance, I'll give the next Tony Hawk a shot, though Wutangclam thinks that may be a bad idea.

T - DuskAlchemist gives you a final say on Resident Evil Revelations 2. I didn't read it because RE is one of the few series I care about spoilers for, which is a very weird thing to say.

M - Maggit's band made a (purposefully) crappy version of one of the best theme songs of all-time. I kinda like it.

A - Video game art is best art.

If there's one thing that I know from my years in the wrestling business, it's this: Everything is a work. Don't ever forget that, guys. Everything is a work, but that doesn't mean you can't bring some brightness into someone's life today. Go out and do that.




8:39 PM on 05.01.2015  

Cblog Recaps PODGASMS: April 2015

Yo community. We're back to bring you “Podgasms” for April 2015! For those that missed post #1, this is a complement to the new Monthly recaps but with podcasts. The best of the month out of the community that is applied directly to the ears. It really helps the various talented podcasters that Dtoid has to offer.

April is done now. We got to see some pretty cool April fool's jokes and blogs. Then things got a little heavy 'round here. I myself am still sort of taking it all in but it seems to be that every year dtoid has a major shake down. Sadly it means some beloved members will part ways with the green and red robot, those will be missed but their decisions should be respected if they truly believe that's the right thing to do for them. For a second I was going to pack my bags too, and it wouldn't be the first time, I'll be a liar if I tell you I don't have a bad habit of having to "jump communities" from time to time. But I think I'm getting to a point where I just want to have a stable community and I've planted my fat greasy heart right here. That being said, sorry for a semi-rant, here are April's podcasts!

As a disclaimer I’ve only included podcasts that have put up cblogs for their episodes, and for the future, please use the “podcast” tag with your blog to make sure I don’t miss it!

All recaps listed according to Alphabetical order:

P - Error Machine Podcast #50: Tuff E Nuff

For this episode of the EM podcast, Dustin enters a professional wrestling contest, titan souls, NES remix and much more.

Also this month, The Error Machine Podcast sets the bar for most posted in a month by also posting its 47th, 48th and 49th episodes: Lucario: Naked Man, Club Nintendo Buyer's Guide & Flawless Victory

GG Guys!

P - PStoid #21: Nanashi Fails to Deliver

A Pstoid episode in which yet another of the cohosts takes the helms, find out who inside.

P - Scary Granules #28: Let the titties shake free

Listen to Panza and Glowbear talk about Danganronpa, Life is Strange and boob controversey's in what is likely the most titular episode of the podcast.


That's everything from April, look forward to one of these each month. Please Please Please, check out the podcasts that interest you and show them support so that the great people that put them out for you can keep up their labor of love.  

Thanks for reading and leave any feedback for this project in the comments!



Would you like to check out other entires in this Recap Series? Click below!


7:28 AM on 05.01.2015  

Cblogs of 04/30/15 + For once, can people just sit down and talk?

Yep, it’s been one of those days again. A day of hurt feelings, negative energy all around, internet drama and just generally terrific. I’m going to comment on it for today’s Shadeisms, but I will probably regret it before the day is done.

I originally had a very personal blog planned for today, because over the past few months I’ve been a lot more down in the dumps than I think any of you realize and certainly more than I’ve ever let anyone in on. I’m not always my “happy-go-Wombat self” (thanks for that one Caimdark, I’m so keeping it in), but the very last thing today needs is more bad vibes.

So let’s get to…today. I’m going to get melodramatic, fair warning. It’s probably on purpose. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I hate the internet sometimes. I know just a few days ago I said that I hate hating things, but it’s true. I hate how the internet has killed communication and devolved it into screaming matches. I hate how it makes people fail to consider eachother as human beings rather than a bunch of code sitting behind a .jpg they once chose as their avatar. Most of all, I hate how it has made it all but impossible to sit down face-to-face and talk things through, no matter how vital the topic at hand may be. Today, we found that out the hard way. Sure, there has been a whole lot of talk at eachother going on, but barely any talking to eachother. (I understand the hypocrisy in that these Shadeisms are doing the exact same thing, please bear with me)

Let me show you something. Pay attention now, because this is important and people have been forgetting it left and right. 

That’s Glowbear. But that’s not all, and this is the important part. She’s not just Glowbear, she’s also a person. Her name is Claire. She has friends and family, an IRL life. She has her hopes and dreams, her ups and downs, her virtues and her vices. She’s got her feelings, and feelings are a precious thing. They’re something to be careful with. We all know this.

What Glowbear is in fact NOT, however, is a line of code. She’s not a gear, and she’s not a tool (in either sense of the word). As such, she is not something that you just toss out when you don’t need it anymore. You don't just put her aside when she’s not meeting every single demand, and you certainly don’t do that without talking it over with her first. That’s incredibly unprofessional on all counts and whoever’s responsible needs a very stern talking-to. Possibly a spanking.

But I’m not done, let’s have another:

That’s Holmes. He is, in fact, also a person. His name is Jonathan. Just like Claire, he has friends and family, an IRL life. He has his hopes and dreams, his ups and downs, his virtues and his vices. He has his fuck-ups, but he also has a drive to fix things where he can. He doesn’t like hurt feelings any more than we do.

He is NOT, in fact, the boogeyman. He does not have horns, nor a pointy tail and pitchfork. In all likelihood, he is not evil incarnate and he is not actively trying to ruin someone’s day. The same goes for the rest of staff. As such, you don’t go around assuming the worst about him before sitting down and hearing his side of the story. You don’t put him out there as the great common enemy while he’s in talks with the only people who are directly involved. You don’t assume evil schemes and malice the moment you hear something bad has happened. You don’t respond to him trying to smooth things over with “Yeah sure, that’s just damage control”. Incompetence before malice, always. Hell, you don’t even assume incompetence if you can help it.

I had hoped both of these things would be obvious. But today it turned out that they’re not. Apparently persons are let go without talking it over with them first. And on the flipside, apparently people are all too ready to throw persons under a bus without confirming that it really is as bad as it appears. In all likelihood, the truth lies somewhere in the middle. As it stands, it seems to me like there has been some incredibly awful miscommunication among Dtoid staff. That’s not excusable. But neither is it evil. Even if there is shady business here, anger has been directed every which way, without checking where it belongs.

Frankly, I’m disappointed today. In a lot of people I care about.
A few of you on both ‘sides’ have been exemplary, but “a few” is nowhere near good enough for a site that thrives on its community. Communication failed today in favor of equal parts mismanagement and rage. Today was a day in which nobody won, because everyone was at each other’s throats so much that they forgot to talk. Or even forgot that the throat they were at belongs to a person. It’s one of those things that the internet does to you, but it’s certainly not part of the Destructoid that I know.

What’s also not part of the Dtoid I know is tossing the baby out with the bathwater like I’ve seen some people do. I understand the anger here. I think it would be more productive to tone it down, but I understand it. But what purpose does leaving the front-page and the Cblogs serve? What good is there in hoping the site goes down in flames? Hell, one of my all-time favorite people on the site talked about pissing on its grave once it happens. That was certainly a bit of disillusionment right there.

If you ask me, the only people you’ve got with a decision like that is the rest of the community. All of the persons here. Do you think Niero cares about you not blogging anymore? Does the person who instigated the whole mess? Of course not. If it’s true that the Dtoid staff doesn’t care about the community, then you’re nothing but a single click. They can deal with one less click. They can deal with a hundred less clicks. But you know who does care if you leave? I do. We all do. I will miss reading about German censorship, even if nobody on staff will. I will miss Recapping it too.

To me, leaving the site says that you care more about the one or two people on staff who fucked up than the entire rest of the community that you supposedly still love. You care more about one jerk than about the staff members who are doing everything in their power to keep the site afloat for everyone. bbain, Wrenchfarm, Chris. Hell, most of the current staff actually. You don’t care about your dozens of e-friends as much as your one e-enemy. I have my priorities: I’d stay for even one of the community members here if everyone else was out to get me. I would never leave over one member of staff. This is not the staff’s site anyway. If anything, today was your opportunity to show that you’re better than the people on staff, at writing as well as communication. SeymourDuncan took that opportunity. Agent9 did it too. Most people didn’t.

Similarly, the only people you’ve got with firing two writers who don’t get paid unless they write, is the community. The two community members gone FP contributors first and foremost, but the rest of us too. We lose out on content, and nobody gains anything.

Despite of all of that, my offer for free games still stands. For all of you. As of right now that’s all I can do to stem the tide of negativity today. But if there’s anything else I can do, I will. Let me know and I’ll find a way. I was going to talk about this in the blog I didn’t post today (but will soon), but Destructoid is more important to me than you realize. So today has not been a good day, from any angle. To sum things up; the saddest part about today was seeing lots of people I like not even try to see eachother's perspective.

I’m ShadeOfLight.
My name is Peter.
I’m a person.
And so are you.

For once, let’s all remember that.

* - SeymourDuncan gets it. Love this blog, gets me all excited.

* - wutangclam once pulled the 10-year-old's equivalent of an Ocean's 11 heist. He would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those meddl...wait, he DID get away with it!

* - Agent9 also gets it. I'd say this is the most productive blog today.

A - DustinThomas lists his 5 favorite Mario platformers but then doesn't choose 3D World and I like don't even know anymore.

A - There's not that many boxing games going around, but here are some of the best.

A - Remember Redheadpeak's dinner party? Well, Otacon and Mordin are invited!

A - DuskAlchemist writes his first Cblog on the horror games of 2015. Welcome!

C - I want to do my own thing to break through the spiral of negativity, so here are some free games. Come and claim some!

C - Where it all began. Regardless of everything above, I am deeply sorry for you, Glowbear.

C - Where it continued.

C - Where it escalated further.

C - The Shit Box is also moving away because of the current state of affairs.

C - Front page writer Jason Faulkner is also leaving, but at least it's unrelated. Come say some tearful goodbyes...

T - This must be the first time I've seen someone be disappointed by the LACK of racism in a game. But when you play a Paula Deen game, you come in with expectations.

T - I don't know the first thing about Talisman, but those figurines are sweet.

T - In what must be a fucking record of some kind, TheSilkiest still plays Gears of War 3.

M - JPF720 shares some of the video game music that he loves.

A - Plus some JRPG fan-art courtesy of Hoffman's site. Just when you thought Xenoblade couldn't get prettier...

- Pictured: actual evil incarnate. Probably fired someone too, he totally would.  

- Also pictured: still a person.

- ShadeOfLight
May you always find water and shade



4:43 PM on 04.30.2015  

Cblog recap of 04/29/15 and PSEUDO-QALAMARI-ISMS

Last week, in addition to letting Riobux take a day from me, Destructoid went through a massive visual overhaul with the expected hanky-jank bugs and glitches. Stuff like that is expected but what I didn't expect is just how much I'd feel disconnected during the whole process. The cblogs page was pretty much dust in the wind over the weekend, during which I was in the valley with my girlfriend, running more Disney shifts, and prepping for a special thing. I haven't done much Dtoid related in about a week but it feels longer.

Pictured: me returning to the cblogs

It's also weird that I'm pretty much pseudo-staff. Well, my picture is on staff roll but I'm not expected nor entrusted to do anything important that has to do with any bottom line. As I understand my job description, it's just promoting good community content, engaging the community, and not being a dick. Admittedly, I haven't promoted something in a while but I think nobody can blame me for that, at least in the past week. But this past week has been filled with kerfuffles. Plus, my official recap day only has one blog, so this recap could be called the whatsacow show guest starring Strider.

Shade has a tough pill to swallow with a multitude of negative blogs to recap. Enough to fill the negative zone with enough energy to actually I don't know what the negative zone from Marvel actually does but it sounds stupid/awesome. But it just makes me smile that (stealing a blog real quick from Shade) Seymour Duncan, Dtoid's own smiling Joe weirdo, posted something in an attempt to stem the tidal wave of negativity.

I have my own positive story. Oldfags may remember the name Qalamari, former recapper and general old Dtoider from years past. I mean, OOOOLLLLLDDD. I don't remember what day he used to cap. Anyways though, jump back a month and he contacts me on twitter asking me for tips on making a Disney trip since I always make it a point to excuse myself of problem by saying, "Whatever, I was working late at the park. Give me a break. I'll get your money later this week ok?"

But being the actual Disney person that I am that actually works at the park, we're taught to always go the extra mile because that's what Walt would have done. That's why you see WWWD stickers on a car's bumper. So rather than just make any random suggestion like lobster nachos at the Cove Bar, I ask for specific dates of their trip because fuck it all, I'm knocking off a day of admission on your vacation budget. It's the big Qalamari x Strider crossover of generations.

The last time the squid had been to the D was precisely three years ago, before California Adventure's big face lift to give it the strength it needed to pull a Kazuya Mishima on Disney's Heihachi. So of course I had to make my tour include Cars Land while Buena Vista Street is implied since it's a gateway area. We even managed to nab Radiator Springs Racers fastpasses, which surprised even me with 3pm return times. I showed Qalamari and his lovely wife such destinations as Olaf's Snow Fest (don't groan, having a 24/7 snow room is pretty kickass), the Hollywood Tower of Terror, Paradise Pier's Fun Wheel, Corn Dog Castle, and of course Cars Land, ripped right out of Pixar's Cars. I had my usual fill of my favorites that I cannot leave the park without having: Ramone's Pear of Dice soda and a Ghirardelli Painted Lady cup. The former is a delicious blend of Sprite, grape syrup, and pear somethings which makes it an absolutely refreshing drink. The latter is an ice cream scoop with hot fudge, whipped cream, and a Ghirardelli square on top with all instances of chocolate being 72% dark cacao which is always delicious at first and regrettable afterwards.

Qalamari and I went on Screamin' California, Tower of Terror, Mickey's Fun Wheel (swinging gondolas edition), and Radiator Springs Racers. And thanks to the Streepass Plaza upgrades I bought, I saved Qalamari's mii into my VIP room.

The deeds didn't go unrecognized of though. Before the Disney day, we met at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles for an ice breaking dinner. They treated me to dinner as thanks and I ordered the flagship plate, #13. the Carol C. Special: a fried chicken breast and a waffle. Qalamari gave me quite the flattering gift as thanks with a NES cartridge of Strider and a weirdly unique robot that bears an uncanny resemblance to Mr. Destructoid.

So that was my weekend. I had a date with my girlfriend watching videos and playing Tomodachi Life, swimming, then California Adventure with Qalamari with plenty of good food.

Obviously, there was a lot of Monster Hunter stuff in between as I literally find time to play it during work when it slows down. I actually just reached G rank, which is popularly considered when the game REALLY starts. With the cblogs marginally functional maybe I'll actually get around to talking about that.

* - Topsauce by default

A - Cows by default

C - Winner by default

E - Something by default

R - Gamed by default

A - Cultured by default

R - Some other default

F - Failed by default




9:30 AM on 04.30.2015  

Cblogs of 04/28/15 + You’re not going to read this anyway

Hey everyone it’s me, Mr. Plinkett. Oh, I mean, Script.

The community blogs are kind of dead at the moment. And I am feeling kind of dead myself. But not dead dead like the old lady in my baseme- wait what.

What I mean is, pizza is good however you shouldn’t eat it in excess. If you have to eat something eat paper instead – it’s full of nutrients and it’s good for the unnatural balance of your ecological digestion.

This has led me to believe that oak branches are not so good after all to start a small business operation. If you think the cosmos is besides the universe, then you should really ask yourself – “Captain Kirk is climbing a mountain, why is he climbing the mountain?”.

The underside of it all is that lorem ipsum doesn’t explain the macabre bonification of our tetramongonationality origins. Watson Holmes once said that Pikachu is a good stepping door for whisky doofs. It’s easily hard to believe that state of ment is more or less totally right and wrong.

Conclusion: por que você ainda está lendo essa bosta.

Feel inclination to unagree and supergree with me in the torments section.




Okay, this is originally what I had written for the Tuesday recap when the Cblogs were inactive and I wasn’t feeling well. I had ADULT THINGS to do on Wednesday, so I didn’t have the time or will to write something with a lick of sense. But now that the Cblogs are back and Wednesday has passed, I kind of don’t have an excuse anymmmmmoreeee……..

So let me bring a few points of interest:

Many of you don’t visit the forums very often, but I’m sure most of you know who Glowbear is. Veteran community member who recently became Front Page contributor. Look’ er up.

Well, something happened that I think should be brought to the attention of the community. She just got kicked from the Destructoid staff. And the whole situation seems a bit underhanded. Read her posts on the forum.

Apparently some of the staff was complaining about her behind her back, criticizing low frequency of posts and lack of quality. Now, whether you agree with those complaints or not, there’s no denying that those same complaints could be applied to many other contributors of this site. How can they complain about quality when we get posts like these, and how can they complain about lack of posts when other contributors (that are still listed in the staff page) haven’t even posted for more than a month? I’ll let you make up your own mind about this.

In more cherry news, Iwata Asks is back, baby! It actually has been back since the release of Majora’s Mask 3D, but I only got notice of it yesterday. They just published an interview with the Xenoblade Chronicles developers, and like most Iwata Asks interviews, it’s worth checking out if you have any curiosity about the development of upcoming Nintendo games.

Talking about Nintendo games, you best prepare your pockets if you’re a fan. Because every new release of theirs now will have plenty of (hopefully great) DLC to sell. Xenoblade and Splatoon have already been contaminated by the DLC virus, and I will be very surprised if Mario Maker and Zelda don’t get in on the action, too. Even Fire Emblem will have two different versions and sell a third storyline DLC. Not to mention new amiibos for these games will definitely be released. So my fellow enthusiasts, sing a sweet lullaby to your wallets, and wish them good night…

This is Script “Why Is The Dollar So Freaking High”, signing off. Bye!

Funnily enough, right after I wrote my nonsense, Jim Sterling uploaded a video of a Brazilian indie game that is just... well, take a look! What's more funny to me is Jim trying to speak Portuguese. "Bagunca". Hihi.

A - This blog is the shit.

A - A new Dragon Ball anime is happening and Kamehameornah is very excited!

P - The Error Machine podcast wants to feast on your questions.

dis is toti he ur new tamaguchi he a frend

toti is hungi gve it fud

toti is VER hungir and ned atention taek caer of frend

oh no toti raed lovecraft HE MAD NWO

toti dieid. u terrble frend.

F - Johnny Burnes presents: Spam number #147!

F - “What gets me going now is developing strategies for pond scum in Cuba”.


I'm not overcompensating for anything. Cblogs be cray cray!




10:29 PM on 04.29.2015  

Cblogs of 4-20 & 4-26-15 + Pixieisms!

Have you heard of the legendary Silent Dabchick? Of course you haven't, for she is the greatest stealth agent and UMA hunter of all time. Hearing about her would mean she screwed up a mission. She's been in many wars and was handpicked by Big Boss himself to handle all the sneaking missions he just didn't feel like doing. 

Her preferred weapons are her hands, though she will use whatever tools are needed to complete the mission, preferably without causing her prey too much harm. She hates killing people, not when she can capture them via Fulton Balloons in hopes of bringing more glory to MSF and Big Boss. 

Only Big Boss and Chico know she exists. She has her own little nest on Mother Base, but no one knows where it is. Sometimes, she's rumored to appear at night pouncing on those that are breaking the Boss' curfew, knocking them out. No one ever sees her, though, for when her hands fall on them it is already too late. All they can remember is a waking up in the medical bay with a concussion or dislocated shoulder.

Even Chico is reluctant to tell of her legend, though, for her cunning ended the species known as the Chupacabara as well as the Sasquatch. No one has seen the Lock Ness Monster because she drowned it. Aliens? She abducted them. 

And dragons? They existed, but now they don't thanks to her. They were too dangerous to exist so she wiped them out and, as Chico and a Feyline named Trenya tell it, she built some really nice armor and weapons out of them. They were a bit too big and gaudy for her liking, though, so she gave them away to the Feyline merchants.

Big Boss sometimes speaks of her, but usually also when he's talking about that time he ate some glowing mushrooms and how they recharged his batteries, at which point many at Mother Base just think he's drunk. No one belives when Chico tells of her because he's just a kid. He was also just looking for the Easter Bunny.

She got to the Easter Bunny, too. Kept both his feet for good luck.

No one knows where Silent Dabchick is now, but let's just say various stealth agents didn't get where they are on their own. Solid Snake, Sam Fisher, Adam Jensen, Batman - she just has this way of lightening their workload and she doesn't need a cardboard box, goverment funding or a family fortune to get the job done. She simply comes and goes with the wind, hitting with the force of a hurricane for only an instant and then she is gone.

Kind of like how the cblogs have been gone for a bit, but they're fixed now, so its time to reca...

* - SeymourDuncan17 tells us how the Shin Megami Tensei franchise compels him to complete RPGs where other RPG franchises do not.

* - Terry 309 writes a very nice retrospective on the Star Ocean series

A - James Internet Ego discusses the problems of gaming PR.

C - Reminder that Retrofaction's art contest is a thing.

S - Niero tells us what is up with the cblogs.

T - Hoff finished three RPGs once.

T - Every generation has some great games, sure, but the AAA industry is not what it used to or should be as a business.

S - Sure.

S - Okay, but what was your point with this?

F - Cut/paste from Facebook.



12:43 PM on 04.26.2015  

Cblog of 4/25/15 - Yes, just the one.

Well, maybe it's because we're in the middle of transition, but yesterday's blog count was very small. I mean, the only one who posted a blog that day was RH666, and I'm surprised that it wasn't about art. This entire week has been a little lacking to be honest, but I completely understand. Right now, the Cblog section feels like your favorite coffee shop being renovated: you would rather just chill out at home than to go out and find a temporary spot to hang in.

Anyway, how do I feel about the site redesign? Well, I'm pretty cool with it. It was frustrating at first, but the kinks are being ironed out, and the design looks sleeker. I have my share of issues though: for some reason, I can't log into my Dtoid account on my mobile, which is disappointing but might not be on their end. I can't "hit" the text fields without "hitting" the Facebook button, and I don't use Facebook to log in so that's a problem. Also, because I don't full-screen my Google Chrome, everything looks cut off, and it's really annoying. I don't know if that's gonna be "fixed" since it's more of a user error, but I'm one sad puppy.

I'm also one lovesick puppy as well. See, I bought Mortal Kombat X. I know, I know, it's kind of stupid considering how much Warner Bros. is trying to suck the money out of our wallets, and we all know it's gonna have a Komplete Edition later down the line, but I just had to get it. Why? Because I was crushing on Mileena so hard I just HAVE to buy it immediately, and I'm not ashamed to say I'm pretty serious.

Mileena has always been THE character of Mortal Kombat that I've felt attracted to, and she's got a damn nice body. Sure, she has lines of shark teeth in her mouth, but I've learned to look past that. I kind of like her sadistic, yet somewhat playful personality ("Let us dance!"), especially in Mortal Kombat X with pre-fight dialogue, and her moveset also isn't bad. She has a Rolling Ball for low attacks that leads into an easy uppercut, a Teleport for when opponents block low, a projectile, and pretty sweet Fatalities: the one when she jumps on your body, mauls it in half, and eats your innards while the character tries to crawl away makes my heart swoon. So, for all intents and purposes, I spent money to look at Mileena. She's got a nice ass in that tight pant tho'.

I also love one of her Brutalities, specifically the one where she leaps on your body, sinks her teeth into your neck, and bites it off. It reminds me of The Walking Dead, which is cool. I hate that I have to unlock it via the Krypt, as I fear going down there, and that I have to perform is IN MATCH instead of at the end. Usually I'm struggling to win, much less trying to perform a specific move under specific conditions. Also, I don't like using her Ravaneous style, as I prefer her with her mask on (because she looks more badass, not ugly). Still, I like Brutalities; they're fun.

I'm also digging Erron Black, but mostly because he's a cowboy and fills the hole in my heart after Justified ended. I also like his Gunslinger style, if only because he wears a cowboy hat. Revolvers are among one of my favorite types of handguns, so seeing that his movesets and animations revolve around them (you see what I did there!?) is a nice treat. I get a kick seeing people flip open the chamber, empty their casings, then flip it back in whilst spinning the wheel. His X-Ray is also pretty awesome in that he has a bullet with the name for every character (and one that says "Me" for mirror matches, which was a nice touch), and I wonder if he'll have one for Jason. Would he also have one for the Predator? And would it say "Predator" because everyone else has a name whereas the Predator is more of a race.

Speaking of guest character, I've been kicking the idea of buying Mortal Kombat 9: Komplete Edition for PS3 mostly because I kind of prefer it over this one. While MKX is pretty damn great on its own, I like the characters in MK9 more, and it has a lot of content. I mean, Story Mode was really entertaining, and even my boy Stryker gets a chapter where he kicks Mileena's ass, which is nice in my opinion because my fears that he would be a jobber (someone who gets beaten in every fight, which is expected for a strictly human character) were relatively unfounded. The main reason though is that I get to play as Freddy Krueger from Nightmare on Elm Street and Kratos from God of War, and I love crossovers so much. I still need to get a copy of Soulcalibur IV on the PS3 so I can have Darth Vader. Darth Fucking Vader!

A - RH666 shares some news about the petition over Steamworks Paid Mod Model, which allows users to charge for their mods, as well as his own concerns over the monetary system.

I'm just happy the only blog I had to recap today wasn't a fail!

- Dreamweaver



5:29 AM on 04.25.2015  

Cblogs of 4/24/15 + Theisms: Help a Brother Out Edition

Most of you know that I was a professional wrestler for a long time. I've mentioned it a few times and you're probably sick of hearing about it. I retired on October 4th, 2013 with the intention of never stepping foot in a wrestling ring again. However, I can't sit here and say that if I received an offer from the WWE that I wouldn't be flying down to the performance center in Tampa as fast as I could.

And here is where I need some of your help. If you didn't know, the WWE is bringing back their reality competition, Tough Enough. It works like most shows of the same ilk: you start off with so many contestants, they show their stuff, and one by one they are eliminated until we have a winner, who then receives a WWE developmental contract. If you've never heard of the show, it may be because there's only been one winner who ever had anything even close to resembling a successful career.

I can still cut a good heel promo.

As you can see from the above video, I submitted a video for the show. I know it's a long shot, but this is my last chance to maybe live my dream. Even though I feel better physically than I've ever felt in my life, 29 years old is up there in years when it comes to professional wrestling, especially when you've already got ten years of wrestling mileage on your body.

So, what do I want from you? I just want you to take 30 seconds to go to my video and share it on social media with a #ToughEnough. The more eyes I can get on it, the better. Everyone who does it, I owe you a soda of your choice.

I'm hoping it works like this.

Now that I've gotten the begging out of the way.

Of course I bought Shovel Knight again! What are you, stupid? While I haven't had a chance to play a lot of it on the PS4 yet, the little that I have is still just as fantastic as I remember it. I played it on the 3DS last year because I was still without a Wii U, so this is my first experience playing on my HDTV. You can complain about the amount of games that use the retro look, but I can't get enough of it. The last 3 games I've played on my PS4 are Hotline Miami 2, Axiom Verge, and Shovel Knight, and I just can't get enough of how those games look and feel.

I think Shovel Knight is the perfect homage to the 8 and 16-bit games that I grew up loving, but updated to be more in tune with modern game standards. Seriously, pick it up. You more than likely have a system that can play that game, so do yourself a favor and buy it.

I also played Mario Kart 8 for the first time. As big of a Mario fan that I am, I've never been huge into his spinoff games. I've never been into Smash Bros., never been a big fan of the sports titles (outside of Mario Golf), not a big Mario Party guy, and I've always dug Mario Kart, even though they've never been the kind of games that I continuously come back to. I play them like I play most games, I play them until I've done everything I want to do, and then I stop playing it.

I played MK8 exclusively with my wife. We're getting a divorce now. I think I've come up with the most accurate assessment of the Mario Kart series:

Mario Kart sucks if you're good at it.

Prove me wrong.

I'm not saying that I'm great, but I'm good enough to be getting first place on each race in the 50 and 100cc races. My wife is also pretty good, always being near the front of the pack, but she's always far enough behind that she gets all the great weapons, and she likes to use them moments before I cross the finish line, causing me to drop to 2nd, 3rd, or sometimes even 4th place.

In no way, shape, or form do I condone domestic violence. But I really, really considered hitting her. I'm convinced that Mario Kart has led to divorces the world over.

Recap time!

* - Riobux's blog about the validity of short games caused me to spend an hour reading about the Anglo-Zanzibar War.

* - Mike Tyson's Punch Out may have had some racial stereotypes, but that was the 80s, and 80s racism doesn't count.

P - I guarantee my podcast is the only one that covered the 3DS eShop game, DOOORS, this week.

A - An AMA from GoofierBrute. You can ask things. ANY THINGS!

F - Some Mario Kart 8 in the EU FNF this week.

F - What's this? Mario Kart 8 also appears in the Nintendoid FNF? I like the unity here.

T - Want to know how to not die in Killing Floor 2? Taterchimp has your hookup.

R - Wutangclam found Westerado: Double Barreled to be a delightful western romp.

 Hey, don't forget to go out and be an awesome person today!




9:03 AM on 04.24.2015  

Cblogs Recaps of 04/23/15 + Shadeisms

I feel like it's been forever since I titled one of my Recaps "Shadeisms". For the past I don't know how many weeks I've almost always managed to put out a coherent theme, but I don't have anything in particular today. I would talk indepth about the new Mario Kart 8 DLC, but I haven't spent enough time with it yet to give you my thoughts.

So instead, here are a bunch of other things that have kept me busy this week.

- I got a new laptop for my birthday. Well, some money for it, anyway. Technically I've had it since last week (my birthday is on April 12th), but you'll recall that I had more important things to talk about last week. So far, it's been doing really good work. My old laptop was pushing 4 years old already, so it was close to falling apart and softly cried to itself when I asked it to run any recent game. My new one runs laps around it, love it.

- Speaking of last week, it won't surprise anyone to learn that that whole episode is still occupying my mind. My feelings towards it vary by the hour and range anywhere from "See, nobody likes me and I'll be forever alone" to "I did good and I clearly had a shot, so I'll find myself someone amazing before I know it" and anything in between. That's very 'me', I suppose.

- I've been putting my new beast of a laptop to good use by playing Remember Me, Batman: Arkham Origins and Trine 3 Early Access. Both Remember Me and Batman are alright at best. I think they have received some undue hate right after release, but they're still nothing to write home about. I enjoyed my time with them though, and that's all that matters. 

- Yep, I said Trine 3 Early Access. It went live on Tuesday and I bought it right away. Right now it only includes the first two levels, which was enough to get me hooked. The fact that you can move in 3D now opens up some neat gameplay and puzzle ideas, so I can't wait to see what they do with that. Besides that, Trine 3 is more gorgeous than ever already, and Ari Pulkkinen once again provides some wonderful music. 

- Today at work the guys of the computer club demoed an Oculus Rift, and I got to have a try! They an Oculus Rift version 2 with them, and ran a rollercoaster demo. Now, I've never had a chance before to try one. But man, that thing feels weird. You know you're standing still, you know nothing is actually happening, and yet your brain keeps telling you that you're moving every which way. You literally feel it in your body, and it becomes hard to keep your balance which the coaster starts going. It was a really cool experience, and if nothing else I got me to look forward to where this technology is going to take us in 10 years or so.  

- Xenoblade Chronicles X Direct later today! HYYYYYYYPE.

- We had a great Nintendoid FNF session of Smash Bros. last week. I say that because I won a lot. Seriously though, it was good fun seeing everyone play around with Mewtwo. We've got a different game scheduled today, but we're going to have to get back to Smash soon.

- Speaking of Mewtwo, the more I play as him, the better he feels. I think he even has potential as a secondary for me. Luigi will always be my number one for reasons that several of you have already witnessed, but I've gotten Mewtwo to work on around Zero Suit Samus and Ganondorf levels. That's pretty decent, if I say so myself. Plus, I smoked Strider in our one on one Mewtwo vs. Mewtwo matches. SMOKED. Don't even try to deny it man, you know it's true. 

- Finally, just a little bit of Mario Kart 8 DLC. I downloaded it yesterday right away, and it seems incredibly solid so far. The courses are varied, gorgeous and fun, so exactly what you'd want from MK8. Baby Park is glorious chaos, the big tree course reminds me of the Nopon village in Xenoblade, Big Blue is amazing in every way, and I could go on for almost every new track. The only one I dislike so far is Cheese Land. It's not that interesting, and the holes all over the place are disorienting. Not great.

And then, of course, there's the new 200cc mode. For which I only have one response:

* - Here is a new series by Cannibal Steven, in which he takes you through a select game via pictures. Love the idea, can't wait to see more!

P - Ask Dustin Thomas questions for the super duper non-special 50th episode of Error Machine!

A - Here are some game concepts that Kratos282 wants to see implemented sometime. It is a sad day for gaming when I can't come up with an FPS set before World War II. 

A - whatsacow explains why modern shooters just can't capture the same feeling as the FPSes of old.

A - James Internet Ego looks at paid mods from an economocial and even philosophical perspective.

A - Fighting games are never the most serious of the bunch, but Otaku Uchu lists some REALLY wacky ones for us.

F - PS FNF and it's hosted by Nanashi now. Protip: don't ask.

T - In his quest to make Skyrim more immersive, James Internet Ego eventually made it gorgeous.

T - PSISomething played the shit out of Inazuma's Eleven in order to make the perfect team. Silly PSI, any team that includes someone named Ian Flappable is already the perfect team!

S - I almost forgot that we had a "Swag" tag, but it's too good not to use for SeymourDuncan's collection.

F - This is a blog that is not a blog about the Harvest Moon game that is not a Harvest Moon game.

F - I appreciate your plight (believe me), but this isn't the way to go about it.

- One day we'll get a new F-zero. One day.

- ShadeOfLight
May you always find water and shade



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