Most of you know that I was a professional wrestler for a long time. I've mentioned it a few times and you're probably sick of hearing about it. I retired on October 4th, 2013 with the intention of never stepping foot in a wrestling ring again. However, I can't sit here and say that if I received an offer from the WWE that I wouldn't be flying down to the performance center in Tampa as fast as I could.
And here is where I need some of your help. If you didn't know, the WWE is bringing back their reality competition, Tough Enough. It works like most shows of the same ilk: you start off with so many contestants, they show their stuff, and one by one they are eliminated until we have a winner, who then receives a WWE developmental contract. If you've never heard of the show, it may be because there's only been one winner who ever had anything even close to resembling a successful career.
I can still cut a good heel promo.
As you can see from the above video, I submitted a video for the show. I know it's a long shot, but this is my last chance to maybe live my dream. Even though I feel better physically than I've ever felt in my life, 29 years old is up there in years when it comes to professional wrestling, especially when you've already got ten years of wrestling mileage on your body.
So, what do I want from you? I just want you to take 30 seconds to go to my video and share it on social media with a #ToughEnough. The more eyes I can get on it, the better. Everyone who does it, I owe you a soda of your choice.
I'm hoping it works like this.
Now that I've gotten the begging out of the way.
Of course I bought Shovel Knight again! What are you, stupid? While I haven't had a chance to play a lot of it on the PS4 yet, the little that I have is still just as fantastic as I remember it. I played it on the 3DS last year because I was still without a Wii U, so this is my first experience playing on my HDTV. You can complain about the amount of games that use the retro look, but I can't get enough of it. The last 3 games I've played on my PS4 are Hotline Miami 2, Axiom Verge, and Shovel Knight, and I just can't get enough of how those games look and feel.
I think Shovel Knight is the perfect homage to the 8 and 16-bit games that I grew up loving, but updated to be more in tune with modern game standards. Seriously, pick it up. You more than likely have a system that can play that game, so do yourself a favor and buy it.
I also played Mario Kart 8 for the first time. As big of a Mario fan that I am, I've never been huge into his spinoff games. I've never been into Smash Bros., never been a big fan of the sports titles (outside of Mario Golf), not a big Mario Party guy, and I've always dug Mario Kart, even though they've never been the kind of games that I continuously come back to. I play them like I play most games, I play them until I've done everything I want to do, and then I stop playing it.
I played MK8 exclusively with my wife. We're getting a divorce now. I think I've come up with the most accurate assessment of the Mario Kart series:
Mario Kart sucks if you're good at it.
Prove me wrong.
I'm not saying that I'm great, but I'm good enough to be getting first place on each race in the 50 and 100cc races. My wife is also pretty good, always being near the front of the pack, but she's always far enough behind that she gets all the great weapons, and she likes to use them moments before I cross the finish line, causing me to drop to 2nd, 3rd, or sometimes even 4th place.
In no way, shape, or form do I condone domestic violence. But I really, really considered hitting her. I'm convinced that Mario Kart has led to divorces the world over.
Hey, don't forget to go out and be an awesome person today!
I feel like it's been forever since I titled one of my Recaps "Shadeisms". For the past I don't know how many weeks I've almost always managed to put out a coherent theme, but I don't have anything in particular today. I would talk indepth about the new Mario Kart 8 DLC, but I haven't spent enough time with it yet to give you my thoughts.
So instead, here are a bunch of other things that have kept me busy this week.
- I got a new laptop for my birthday. Well, some money for it, anyway. Technically I've had it since last week (my birthday is on April 12th), but you'll recall that I had more important things to talk about last week. So far, it's been doing really good work. My old laptop was pushing 4 years old already, so it was close to falling apart and softly cried to itself when I asked it to run any recent game. My new one runs laps around it, love it.
- Speaking of last week, it won't surprise anyone to learn that that whole episode is still occupying my mind. My feelings towards it vary by the hour and range anywhere from "See, nobody likes me and I'll be forever alone" to "I did good and I clearly had a shot, so I'll find myself someone amazing before I know it" and anything in between. That's very 'me', I suppose.
- I've been putting my new beast of a laptop to good use by playing Remember Me, Batman: Arkham Origins and Trine 3 Early Access. Both Remember Me and Batman are alright at best. I think they have received some undue hate right after release, but they're still nothing to write home about. I enjoyed my time with them though, and that's all that matters.
- Yep, I said Trine 3 Early Access. It went live on Tuesday and I bought it right away. Right now it only includes the first two levels, which was enough to get me hooked. The fact that you can move in 3D now opens up some neat gameplay and puzzle ideas, so I can't wait to see what they do with that. Besides that, Trine 3 is more gorgeous than ever already, and Ari Pulkkinen once again provides some wonderful music.
- Today at work the guys of the computer club demoed an Oculus Rift, and I got to have a try! They an Oculus Rift version 2 with them, and ran a rollercoaster demo. Now, I've never had a chance before to try one. But man, that thing feels weird. You know you're standing still, you know nothing is actually happening, and yet your brain keeps telling you that you're moving every which way. You literally feel it in your body, and it becomes hard to keep your balance which the coaster starts going. It was a really cool experience, and if nothing else I got me to look forward to where this technology is going to take us in 10 years or so.
- Xenoblade Chronicles X Direct later today! HYYYYYYYPE.
- We had a great Nintendoid FNF session of Smash Bros. last week. I say that because I won a lot. Seriously though, it was good fun seeing everyone play around with Mewtwo. We've got a different game scheduled today, but we're going to have to get back to Smash soon.
- Speaking of Mewtwo, the more I play as him, the better he feels. I think he even has potential as a secondary for me. Luigi will always be my number one for reasons that several of you have already witnessed, but I've gotten Mewtwo to work on around Zero Suit Samus and Ganondorf levels. That's pretty decent, if I say so myself. Plus, I smoked Strider in our one on one Mewtwo vs. Mewtwo matches. SMOKED. Don't even try to deny it man, you know it's true.
- Finally, just a little bit of Mario Kart 8 DLC. I downloaded it yesterday right away, and it seems incredibly solid so far. The courses are varied, gorgeous and fun, so exactly what you'd want from MK8. Baby Park is glorious chaos, the big tree course reminds me of the Nopon village in Xenoblade, Big Blue is amazing in every way, and I could go on for almost every new track. The only one I dislike so far is Cheese Land. It's not that interesting, and the holes all over the place are disorienting. Not great.
And then, of course, there's the new 200cc mode. For which I only have one response:
* - Here is a new series by Cannibal Steven, in which he takes you through a select game via pictures. Love the idea, can't wait to see more!
P - Ask Dustin Thomas questions for the super duper non-special 50th episode of Error Machine!
A - Here are some game concepts that Kratos282 wants to see implemented sometime. It is a sad day for gaming when I can't come up with an FPS set before World War II.
A - whatsacow explains why modern shooters just can't capture the same feeling as the FPSes of old.
A - James Internet Ego looks at paid mods from an economocial and even philosophical perspective.
A - Fighting games are never the most serious of the bunch, but Otaku Uchu lists some REALLY wacky ones for us.
F - PS FNF and it's hosted by Nanashi now. Protip: don't ask.
T - In his quest to make Skyrim more immersive, James Internet Ego eventually made it gorgeous.
T - PSISomething played the shit out of Inazuma's Eleven in order to make the perfect team. Silly PSI, any team that includes someone named Ian Flappable is already the perfect team!
S - I almost forgot that we had a "Swag" tag, but it's too good not to use for SeymourDuncan's collection.
F - This is a blog that is not a blog about the Harvest Moon game that is not a Harvest Moon game.
F - I appreciate your plight (believe me), but this isn't the way to go about it.
- One day we'll get a new F-zero. One day.
May you always find water and shade
Good afternoon! I'm Riobux! You may know me from silly comments I smirk at on news postings, pretentious articles where I do things like analyse review scores (which that time led to my boss messaging me asking why I was opening up over 100 review pages on his website) and I do articles over at Gamers Honest Truth (not-a-plug not-a-plug not-a-plug not-a-plug).
However, introductions aren't why we're here, is it? StriderHoang is gone for the week and in his place, like a hurried salesman with 30 seconds before the cops come, I wish to propose an idea to you. However, first a story.
Better wet up, this may get a little dry
In 1896, way back when Zanzibar was ruled by sultans (think royalty), there was an agreement that after a sultan dies they must get permission from the UK for a particular sultan to rise to power. However, after the death of Sultan Hamad, Khalid bin Bargash declared himself sultan without the UK's permission. This left the British Empire a bit peeved and they sent an ultimatum that Bargash was to stand-down by 9am on the 27th of August. The ultimatum passed and thus the Anglo-Zanzibar War was declared.
Any guesses how long it last? A year maybe?
The most commonly attributed time it took is 38 minutes for the palace to get stormed, the flag shot down and a ceasefire to be declared.
Which brings me to my modest proposal. There have been rumblings about how campaigns are getting a lot shorter than they really should be. I wish not to enter that type of discussion, as its mumbled complexity is just ill-fitted for this type of venue. However if Treyarch, the developers of the pre-modern day Call Of Duty games (even Black Ops 2 which, while partially futuristic, was also based in the 80s), are going to respond to this accusation correctly then they should embrace the idea.
I present: Call Of Duty: Zanizbar.
You play in real time as an English (or Scottish, would lead to some delightful commentary about the sinking of HHS Glasgow) soldier from beginning to end of the Anglo-Zanzibar war. A whole thrilling 38 minute campaign filled with gripping events as explosions go off around your ears. Perhaps as well, if Treyarch wills it, maybe an exploding Big Ben or maybe a consolation in the sky that night in the shape of a building can lead to an old man (i.e. your character) to describe it to future Sydney Opera House architect Jorn Utzon as an epilogue.
This war also presents the perfect pre-order bonus as well. You get to play a 10 to 15 minute mission as the only UK soldier to be wounded. Needless to say, with a pre-order bonus like that there will be controversy, but people will begrudgingly get it anyway as it is assured to be an amazing bonus that will disappoint none.
If you are as sold as I am on such an idea, then feel free to spread this news far and wide. Let it be known this is the game people REALLY want. Especially with the uniforms at the time.
God damn they're dashing...
...Anyway! On with the recap!
A- Questions have been raised by KingSigy about what is even the point of current-gen if games are still going to be released on last-gen, with a particular nudge towards PS4. Makes me want to whisper, with devilish grin, “Bloodbooorrrnnneee”.
A morale victory.
V- Chris Carter is toying with the idea of supplementing his work load with more work in the form of a five-minute-per-game video series. I'm starting to suspect Iron Man by Black Sabbath is based on a futuristic form of Chris who is driven insane by his own work-load; seriously, he pumps out articles and reviews constantly.
T- taterchimp describes how Dark Souls 2 compares to Dark Souls for him, which boils down to spicy chicken wings and New Coke comparisons. I just figure it's like curry (with all the different wondrous types) vs Peri Peri (which just tastes of burning to me).
I love a bit of culture.
And here I thought I would have no blogs to recap this Tuesday. But you guys don’t rest on your laurels. Borked site or not, we still got some good blogs. And whenever there are community blogs, there is recappin’ to be done!
For some time now I have been thinking of changing my gaming habits. I want to buy less games and play each of them more thoroughly. I’m tired of finishing a game and then immediately going to the next. I feel the need to master some of them, to really explore its depths. In this day and age we have too many games available to us, too many games vying for our attention. What this means is that we usually don’t give them the attention they deserve.
Of course, this doesn’t mean I will stop buying games completely and spent the rest of my days trying to finish my backlog. What this means is that I will be even more frugal when it comes to purchasing games, and that I will try to play fewer games at a time. I even considered selling most of my consoles since no human needs to have so many places to play videogames, but I’m pretty sure I would regret it. It’s good to have variety.
Like all habits, it’s not something that is easy to change. This is something I have slowly been trying to do. I have stopped buying bundles all together, and I think twice before buying a game I really want if I’m currently engrossed in other games at the moment. I’ve taken a lighter stance in regards to my backlog, and now I don’t feel quite as guilty to play mostly Super Smash Bros. during the week and neglect some of my other games.
There is a point in gaming where you need something more to be satisfied. Where the same old, same old doesn’t really cut it for you anymore. That’s kind of where I see me right now. I want a deeper purpose for playing games, I want a more meaningful experience. Yesterday I spent almost an hour trying to do a glitch in Donkey Kong 64 and when I finally did, I felt a sense of satisfaction that few other games have given me recently. That says something about my gaming life at the moment.
This blog was originally going to be about change of habits in other aspects of my life too, but it ended up being all about gaming. Do share in the comments if you can relate (or not) to my feelings, and let’s hope the site will be back to normal until next week. Au revoir!
I think Bayonetta, like other Kamiya characters like Dante and Viewtiful Joe, is fun, charming but does not exactly have a lot of depth to her. Not that she needs to, people love the character all the same.
I believe I can fly
Apparently change of habit is an Elvis Presley movie or something
Reminder that if you want the D you just have to talk to me
OH GOD. FIX THE CBLOGS. FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT!
It seems my laptop ate my initial draft for this recap. The site reformat had already put my plans to recap on hold, too.
Oh well, The gist of the original post was that I got Hotline Miami, Steamworld Dig, Stealth Inc., Retro City Rampage DX, Metal Gear Solid: VR Missions and The Impossible Game for my Vita off the PSN Flash Sale. I also tried out the Toukiden: Kiwami and Oreshika: Tainted Bloodlines demos and didn't like either of them enough to buy them, then I read the Dtoid Deception IV review, watched like 20 seconds of a GT review of it and decided that was the game I really wanted.
I also got some nice, cozy noise-cancelling Phillips headphones from a discount outlet. I was sick of earbuds falling out of my ears when I go out for my walks. These headphones are so large and bulbous that you wouldn't be surprised to see a Jet Set Radio character wearing them, but I also can wear them comfortably during a nap.
Deception IV and Hotline Miami ended up being the games from that haul that I'll focus on for now. I kind of see them both as puzzle games in which you're tasked with finding the best or most creative ways of killing everyone you come across. One encourages you to construct Rube Goldberg-style death traps and the other prefers bats, crowbars, swords, knives and all manner of guns to wipe everyone out.
And I do appreciate both games are very steep on consequences. It's only fair that if you're setting up all these eleborate death traps in Deception IV that you're just as much capable of being harmed by them and you certainly can be as much by those as your enemies. Laegrinna is rather passive for a demon, though, only letting her traps do the work. I'm also rather amazed she has not made Laura's Gaming Butts list because I think most of her design was such that you were intended to stare at that.
Let's just say she doesn't have to bend over for there to be a full moon.
My favorite combo so far is catapuling people into electric chairs, then they're launched off them, made to land on a banana peel, falling into a rake that smacks them in the face and then a boulder falls on them. And then, if they survive all that and manage to stand, I launch a buzzsaw into their back which pushes them into another electric chair!
In Hotline Miami, I'm less about using guns and more about melee weapons and fists. Also doors. I wear a horse mask that lets me kill with doors. Guns are often noisy and get the attention of enemies, so I only use them when I have to.
Anyway, talking about those two makes me want to get back to them, so I'm gonna get on with the recapping.
A - Forgotten Bastion seems to like all the aspects that go into exploration and cartography, except for the actual map-making part. Drawing out a map for a game does add character to the experience, though. It's just something you have to get used to.
No fails! Good thing, too - Laegrinna wanted to play with the humans.
Justified has its series finale last week, and damn am I going to miss this show. However, some minor nitpicks aside, I don't think I could've asked for a better way for it to end. Spoilers for the series as a whole below!
What a finale, huh? After the penultimate episode where Boyd survives his encounter with Zachariah, Ava gets taken by corrupt policemen to bring to the corrupt business man Avery, and Raylan gets hauled in for going rogue, this was one of the longest weeks I've had to wait. However, when everything finally came into a head within the first half of the finale, it was so worth it. Boyd may have killed Avery faster than I would've liked, but the resulting headshot through the eye was pleasantly satisfying. My favorite part is when Raylan comes in after the shootout and tempts Boyd to draw on him so Raylan would have a reason to shoot him. He even kicks Boyd a gun when Boyd tells him that his is empty (so badass). However, after Boyd loses his spirits after finding out why Ava turned on him (she thought he would've done it first), Boyd chooses not to pull, and Raylan chooses to arrest him rather than shoot him anyway.
Over the series, we see Raylan putting his enemies in situations where they're "forced" to pull so Raylan can shoot them. In one instance, he practically sets up a "hit" so if the criminal doesn't submit himself for arrest, Raylan will walk away and let the hitmen open fire. Boyd is Raylan's most hated enemy, so to actually let him live was a fitting way to show how Raylan has changed. He does get into a shootout with Avery's bodyguard Boon, and that was an awesome moment: the setting was nice, and it happened as quick as you'd imagine a duel to happen. With all the subtle hints that Raylan was going to die over the season, topped with the song "You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive" (a bit much in my opinion, but omnious), it was cool to see Raylan survive, especially because Boon tried to aim for the head instead of center mass like Raylan did.
During the debacle, Ava steals Raylan's car and drives away. I understand her reasoning (she was going to go to jail with no hopes of negotiation, and she was set to die by the inmates), but I was pretty frustrated with her character, and this didn't help. However, the police doesn't find her, and even though Raylan feels like the case is incomplete with Ava running free, he gets enough closure that he can leave Harlan county behind.
Afterward a short series of goodbyes, the episode moves four years later, and we see Raylan living in Miami to be with his daughter. While Raylan doesn't get with Winona, it only bothers me a little... but still bothers me, because I'm one of those people who ships characters. Interestingly enough, Raylan gets a report about a woman who looks like Ava, and goes to investigate. Turns out, the woman IS Ava, and although she has become a better person, Raylan still wants to take her in since she's a fugitive. Ava seems okay to go, but first wants to show something that hopes Raylan keeps a secret from Boyd: as you guessed, she has a son. After seeing that she cares for him even though it's Boyd's bastard, Raylan decides not to turn her in, and also helps ease her worries that Boyd might one day come back to her.
Raylan visits Boyd in jail (after a very entertaining Church sermon, which Boyd has become a preacher of), and tells him that Ava is dead. Boyd is obviously distaught, but he seems to accept this. In a touching moment though, Boyd asks why Raylan came to tell him in person when he could've just called, and in a way, it references Raylan's decision to not kill Boyd back then. Boyd tells him that it was "because we dug coal together", and Raylan confirms it. Throughout the series, coal miners are shown to be brothers, and it was nice to see that referenced once more.
Overall, I truly enjoy this show, and I am more than satisfied with the ending.
I don't know if this story is true or not, but I do know that this is quite possibly one of the best news story I have ever read. Honestly, I read this like a dozen times, and imagined it plenty more, and it only happened last week. The story is that a mom allowed her daughter to throw a party where she provides the weed and alcohol. That's cool in itself, but not what I'm interested in. No, she let her daughter and her guests get naked and play Twister, and the mom even join in on the fun. She even bangs one of the boys in the bathroom, and after being unsatisfied, goes out into the living room to double penetrate herself with dildos. The guests decides to move their party to the hot tub, and afterwards the mom goes to sleep on her bed... only to wake up while being raped by her daughter's boyfriend, whom the daughter doesn't sleep with because she was afraid of not being able to handle his 10-inch penis.
It sounds so far-fetched, but so amazing at the same time. The story also includes a tidbit where the mom would not only take porn pictures of herself with her boyfriend, but would also show them at the party, even to her 16 year old daughter. I am honestly very jealous. I know the idea of seeing your mom in these situations would be a turn-off to most people, but I can't help but wish something this fucked up would happen to me. Well, maybe not if it was my mom (it's not the idea that it's my mom that's a turn off, but rather my mom's not hot... but this woman doesn't look too bad), but if I was a guest at this party, it'd be the perfect opportunity to lose my virginity.
At least try to act surprised.
I am so sick of looking at computer screens. I've had to stare at one to do everything lately and my eyes are really, really tired. It doesn't help that my room is hot, so the fan is constantly blowing in my direction, drying my eyes out. I do not look forward to my school work either: we had to do a 7000 word minimum portfolio for my Creative Writing class, and it turns out that, as far along as I am, I'm only at 4500. The portfolio is due less than 10 days, and I got about 2500 more words to write, and in addition to my lack of creativity lately, I am not looking forward to the final push. Honestly, I wouldn't mind failing because if I could take the class again, I would. It's fun, though it is a bit of a double edged sword when I see how good everyone is at writing, and I'm already struggling with "depression" as it is. My life situation is getting even worse despite some interesting opportunities that opened up to me, but that's another time.
I'm so close to beating Bloodborne, though I'm opting to skip some of the optional areas. I want to do it all, believe me, but the hassle it takes to do it all just dosn't feel worth it. For example, one area is littered with enemies that can suck Insight away from you (think Humanity in Dark Souls) that I don't want to go there to fight the two optional, albeit lore important bosses. The other area is full of these enemies that can kill you just because you're looking at them. I'm confident that I did at least 80% of the non-Chalice Dungeon part of the game though, which is a nice chunk. And since I'll probably make a backup save in order to get all three endings, maybe one day I'll go back, grind my ass off, and head back to the hard areas and see if they're more managable.
M - Maggit is in a band, and he stops by to share with us an official stop motion music video! Click here to check it out, and read through some of the difficult nature that comes with making stop motion animation.