It's Christmas time! You know what that means! Twenty-four glorious hours of A Christmas Story! Can't have Christmas without this holiday classic, no sir! And to think that just a few years prior Bob Clark gave us this cheeky Yuletide slasher pic!
It's not that A Christmas Story is a bad film. It's just... it's just seeing it over and over and over and over again is taxing on the nerves. The whole thing just starts blending your thoughts together, corrupting your vacation memories, making you recall things that never actually happened.
Last year, I was at my folks' place, enjoying their company, visions of a Red Ryder air rifle in my future. There were warnings that I'd shoot my eye out, the haunting glare of a yellow-eyed neighborhood menace, and triple dog dares. I remembered to drink my Ovaltine, the taste of soap still on my lips, and hey! I just won a major award! Holiday fun in the Chinese tongue, and with Little Orphan Annie the season was a ball of fudge... only I didn't say "fudge."
Oh dammit. There I go again.
Don't have A Christmas Story over in jolly ol' England, eh? Enjoying the surf and sand, my Aussie brothers? Well, tough shit! If I have to suffer through this routine then I'm draggin' ya down with me!