Cblogs of 09/27/12 and Mangasms

Do you know how fucking hard it is to find good seafood in this city? Calgary is a place where the only thing on the menu is cow farts and deep fried sadness, so it is impossible to get a good piece of fish or some squid. But luckily, while out with some friends, I finally found some at a Japanese restaurant. They take damn near a whole squid, minus part of the head, and deep fry the bastard to golden deliciousness; this isn't a calamari. A full grown squid is much bigger, and much tastier. It made my week so I thought it was worth mentioning.



While waiting for our several tiny dishes of authentic Japanese food (I know it was authentic because they had a sign written in moon language there and the two men cooking it didn't look very white) I started to play Pushmo on my 3DS. One of my friends saw what I was doing, and before I could splash my miso soup in his face and tell him to go jump in the fryer, he took the DS and started trying to solve the puzzle I had been stuck in for TWO GODDAMN DAYS. Soon, the thing was being passed around between four of us, and for the next hour, several Pushmo converts were made.



I really hope that people pay attention to the DS Shop because there is some neat stuff on there. VVVVVV is one of my favorite platformers and would work great on a handheld. Denpa Men came out yesterday, and man is it ever a lot of fun. The entire game revolves around WiFi hotspots, which was something I was wary about since I am a shut in for the most part, but even after scanning my own, I was able to find 18 capturable Denpa Men. They are like Pokemon, but better, because they are middle aged men in skin tight costumes. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.



Anyway, the game has you capturing these little Denpa Men, all who have different powers usually based off of elements much like Pokemon. You start out with 4 in a party but can quickly increase the maximum to 8, and the rest of the game has you dungeon diving, fighting enemies, collecting treasures, and killing bosses. The one thing I noticed about it right away is that it is no slouch in the difficulty department; Denpa Men are kind of weak so it's your job to pick all the right ones for each new dungeon you are about to enter. Everytime you leave a dungeon, your Denpa Men will heal to full, so the only thing you need to worry about is equipping them with items you buy at the shop on world map. There are other ways to get new Denpa men, but the most common is to connect to a new WiFi hotzone, where you will play an AR game where you shoot the Denpa men there with nets.



It's a really creative, relatively cheap package which promises about twenty to thirty hours of gameplay. Highly recommended...but not as much as Pushmo, which is the best puzzle game I've played in a long time.

I hope I win a Half Minute Hero watch today. Some of the entries were pretty good. Of course, most of them were "I'd punch X in the face" or "I'd fuck one of the DOA girls". In fact, a surprising percentage was based around DOA5 that can lead me to one conclusion about the perverts at Destructoid; most of them must be playing DOA5, and I am jealous, but not JUST because I have a secret desire to shamefully masturbate over deformed CGI women. It's also because I actually really enjoyed DOA2, and got tremendously good at it; the counter system was great, although discovering Soul Calibur eventually made that game obsolete for me.



Speaking of which, I gotsa gets me some Half Minute Hero, too. Lataz peeps.

* - ccesarano makes a great point. A thin plot with multiple, seemingly unrelated placeholder quests being shoehorned in to fill time is no way to make a good story.

* - You know what sucks about the new Resident Evil games? Hanging out with a partner the whole time. The tension is killed. RE4 was a masterpiece, and Leigh Davidson recognizes it's power as well.

* - A very Zombie interview with Smurfee Mcgee and Colton Phillips.

* - A cute little day in the life of an FTL crew. Such a great game.

A - It's like a Cracked article, except about Resident Evil, and no pages to flip!

A - Some games that fortunately never made it. The ONLY one I am dissapointed about is the Twilight game. I really felt I connected with Bella, because we both wear plad and fuck young, vulnerable men. Except I was in prison at the time.

E - Dtoid meetup time! Get ready for Eurogamer expo! I don't know what Europe is, but it seems to be pretty hot these last few centuries or so.

R - Goddammit...good review for such a miserable game. I actually got to the last stage. Oh, and, special dickhead cameo by our old friend Karutomaru who JUST...WON'T...LEAVE.

R - Here is my Jet Set Radio review: NNNNGGGGG, just came. Also, a little annoying pretentious nat in the comment section once again tries to pretend he is legitimate by offering unwelcome proofreading advice! Can someone ban this moron?

L - I totally feel your pain. I have been trying to make a game for the last few months, but it's so discouraging to play one with such good writing before I sit down to continue work on "Conversation Parade 2: That is an Interesting Response"

S - Swag swag swag! Snatcher is all I needed to see. Jealous-o-meter: through the ROOF!

C - Logically Dashing is a good blogger, but it's a real bummer to see him waste his time on stuff like this. Everytime I read one, it makes me sad at how copy and paste it sounds.

R - One day, the kiddies are all going to understand that Naruto, Bleach, and Dragonball Z are all the same anime with a slightly different paint job, and part of a diabolical plan to STEAL JAPANESE KIDS' MONEY.

R - Phil, you fucking Troll. I'd fail you if you weren't so damned beautiful...in the meantime, what do you guys want to see for a community chat topic? I'd personally like something about bacon, somehow.

C - A review of older games is nice, but your article looks like a skeleton, dude! Spice it up a little next time, presentation means a lot!



FPotD