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Oh joy of joys, I get the caps for Valentine’s Day! What better day to spread our loving feelings towards our significant other, peace on Earth, red and pink, and…
Actually, no.
Fuck Valentine’s.
Who needs an arbitrary holiday that benefits no one but Hallmark? Why do we need to give those dirty lovey-dovey couples an excuse to rip on hard-working single folks? “Oh Shade, what are you going to do for Valentine’s this year?” You know perfectly well what I’m doing you smug bastard, I’m playing video games and sulking! But you know what, I get it, you want a nice day on which you can show your appreciation for the love of your life. The thing is though, they exist. Birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, pick one. Make one up for all I care, at least that’s more creative than “Oh it’s the 14th, better buy cards now.”
Nope, fuck it and everything it stands for.
I’m sorry, I must be coming off as the Ebenezer Scrooge of Valentine’s Day right now. I just have a beef with the arbitrariness behind the thing. I dislike New Year’s too, because all that is is a celebration of the arbitrary start of an arbitrary new time period. On most holidays there’s at least something to celebrate. Jesus was never born on December 25th, but at least Christmas has a reason for being, even if it doesn’t coincide with what it was supposed to be the celebration of; there’s meaning behind it. Valentine’s has nothing of the sort, or at least its original meaning is so far gone that nobody is even really sure who Saint Valentine was. And then there’s the thing of attaching a message of love to someone who was by all accounts brutally murdered.
Okay then.
…..
Shut up no I’m not bitter over an unrequited love!*
Oh, you didn’t ask? Sorry about that. But okay, I’ll stop harping on the thing now, maybe I am a little bitter. It’s just that Rosamund Pike won’t return any of my calls. Nor will Scarlett Johansson, for that matter. And after all I did for her too…
Oh Rosamund Pike, you can make silly faces in dirty Greek armor for me any day
Seriously though, a happy Valentine’s to anyone here with a significant other. Take the time today to play co-op together, or better yet play a versus game and let him or her win. Other than that, I don’t think I can tell you much. Chances are good that you know this stuff way better than I do.
Truth of the matter is I don’t have a lot of good experiences with this kind of thing, all a hundred percent my own fault, but none of that is stuff you want to hear.
So as for us single people, I guess we’re going to be doing what we’re always doing. I for one am going to check out what Calendar Man has to say about Valentine’s after I finish writing this. After that, maybe I’m going to play a bit more of Super Hexagon, which I’ve recently received from our lovely friends at the Low(er) Tier podcast. Actually, that reminds me, I do have a Valentine’s card to send out to a special someone!
Oh, I’m sorry. Did I say Valentine’s Card? I meant off course photographic evidence of my complete and utter trouncing of bbain’s Super Hexagon highscore. I mean look at that. Not only did I clearly beat him, I beat him by not one but in fact TWO hundreds of a second. That’s like five minutes in Super Hexagon time. A truly shameful showing by bbain, one that he has no choice but to rectify soon…if he can! As for that other guy’s, I’m not even going to grace those with my words, it’s simply not even worth it. That’s pathetic is what that is.
And with all of that Valentine’s related stuff out of the way, I say let’s see what kinds of lovey-dovey blogs the toiders have in store for us today! It's good stuff today! That's going to make my sulking a bit more difficult, but I'm sure I'll manage.
5 second films show us exactly why love sucks and why I’m totally right about this arbitrary holiday. But arbitrary or not, I would definitely do Sex Kitty. Meow indeed.
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