Oh joy of joys, I get the caps for Valentineís Day! What better day to spread our loving feelings towards our significant other, peace on Earth, red and pink, andÖ
Who needs an arbitrary holiday that benefits no one but Hallmark? Why do we need to give those dirty lovey-dovey couples an excuse to rip on hard-working single folks? ďOh Shade, what are you going to do for Valentineís this year?Ē You know perfectly well what Iím doing you smug bastard, Iím playing video games and sulking! But you know what, I get it, you want a nice day on which you can show your appreciation for the love of your life. The thing is though, they exist. Birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, pick one. Make one up for all I care, at least thatís more creative than ďOh itís the 14th, better buy cards now.Ē
Nope, fuck it and everything it stands for.
Iím sorry, I must be coming off as the Ebenezer Scrooge of Valentineís Day right now. I just have a beef with the arbitrariness behind the thing. I dislike New Yearís too, because all that is is a celebration of the arbitrary start of an arbitrary new time period. On most holidays thereís at least something to celebrate. Jesus was never born on December 25th, but at least Christmas has a reason for being, even if it doesnít coincide with what it was supposed to be the celebration of; thereís meaning behind it. Valentineís has nothing of the sort, or at least its original meaning is so far gone that nobody is even really sure who Saint Valentine was. And then thereís the thing of attaching a message of love to someone who was by all accounts brutally murdered.
Shut up no Iím not bitter over an unrequited love!*
Oh, you didnít ask? Sorry about that. But okay, Iíll stop harping on the thing now, maybe I am a little bitter. Itís just that Rosamund Pike wonít return any of my calls. Nor will Scarlett Johansson, for that matter. And after all I did for her tooÖ
Oh Rosamund Pike, you can make silly faces in dirty Greek armor for me any day
Seriously though, a happy Valentineís to anyone here with a significant other. Take the time today to play co-op together, or better yet play a versus game and let him or her win. Other than that, I donít think I can tell you much. Chances are good that you know this stuff way better than I do.
Truth of the matter is I donít have a lot of good experiences with this kind of thing, all a hundred percent my own fault, but none of that is stuff you want to hear.
So as for us single people, I guess weíre going to be doing what weíre always doing. I for one am going to check out what Calendar Man has to say about Valentineís after I finish writing this. After that, maybe Iím going to play a bit more of Super Hexagon, which Iíve recently received from our lovely friends at the Low(er) Tier podcast. Actually, that reminds me, I do have a Valentineís card to send out to a special someone!
Oh, Iím sorry. Did I say Valentineís Card? I meant off course photographic evidence of my complete and utter trouncing of bbainís Super Hexagon highscore. I mean look at that. Not only did I clearly beat him, I beat him by not one but in fact TWO hundreds of a second. Thatís like five minutes in Super Hexagon time. A truly shameful showing by bbain, one that he has no choice but to rectify soonÖif he can! As for that other guyís, Iím not even going to grace those with my words, itís simply not even worth it. Thatís pathetic is what that is.
And with all of that Valentineís related stuff out of the way, I say letís see what kinds of lovey-dovey blogs the toiders have in store for us today! It's good stuff today! That's going to make my sulking a bit more difficult, but I'm sure I'll manage.
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