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When I was a wee child, the Aliens Power Loader was the apex predator of the toy box. Armed with a head mounted machine gun, a devastating spring-loaded rocket launcher, and a pair of gnashing power claws, equally capable of crushing Cobra HISS tanks as they were at squeezing the life out of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, it was the big dog of any play session. I loved that toy.

I wonder if it ever wigged my mom out to see me playing with a prop from an R-rated movie. I know it wigs me out when I see Call of Duty Mega Blok sets just sitting on display at the local Wall-Mart and look at concept designs for the "Angel City Action Set"  Titanfall K'nex toys. There is just something  unseemly about marketing a toy for children 3 and up from a licence that is supposedly for a Mature audience. Guess little boys and girls these days are just super into no-scope headshots and epic killstreaks.



I feel like a big fucking hypocrite about it. When I was a kid, the floor of my room looked like a Cyberdine production facility, Model 800 Terminators and Skeletal Hunter-Killer robots strewn all over the place. I don't blink when I see Batman or X-Men toys on the rack. Brooding vigilantes who pummel psychotic clowns and genocidal human magnets are fine for children of all ages apparently, but I balk at a CoD Zombies kit.

The difference I see is that Batman, for as grim and disturbing as some of the material gets, has an entire range of products and shows under that franchise's umbrella. While the Nolan movies and many of the comics are probably a little too much for young children, there are also kid friendly cartoon shows, Lego Batman games, and other stuff to steer them towards. CoD and Titanfall are just games about putting bullets into people. It's hard to spin that out to something you could justify selling to an 8 year old.

I think it's bizarre to see game franchises brazenly selling to a market way below their supposed ERSB rating. But then again, I suppose it seemed equally bizarre to my mom when I was clamouring for a Alien Queen with Acid Blood Action (tm) for my birthday.

* - Dark Souls is full of terrible monsters that will crack your bones, strip your flesh, and shatter your spirit. Here are Bbain's favourites!

* - This is my gun, there are many like it but this- Actually, hold one. Come to think of it, this is the ONLY gun that shoots incendiary buckshot out of a rotary barrel in the world. Whatever, it's still mine.

A - Grrr, those meanies at Atlus hate the EU! Well, at least it seems that way to BlazenTech. It's no secret that the EU has been getting the short shrift from Atlus, but if you look at the reasons why it's less Atlus being dicks and more unfortunate circumstances colliding.


E - Meet up with other Dtoiders at PAX East!

T - Multiplayer games are great, but after a few years they tend to go stale. Gameplay stagnates, exploits are no longer patched, other players leave for the latest shinny new title. It's the circle of life. Mdotkone has a few tricks you can try to get a few more wheezing final gasps of fun out of Black Ops 2.


C - A YouTube impression vlog about a game called Motte Island. Call me a killjoy, but I really don't like blogs that just link to a vid. Even a paragraph or two summing up your thoughts or what you will be talking about in the video makes it feel less like link spam and more like an actual attempt to communicate.

L - This goddamn car from Supernatural is more popular than any character I'll ever write. If you'll excuse me, I'll be at the bottom of a bottle of brown liquor.




-Wrenchfarm

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