The madness starts here

[13:59] Aerox: oh wow
[13:59] Aerox: I am refilling my stapler
[13:59] Cataract: I woke up at 1PM today. I hate it when I sleep away half of the day.
[13:59] Aerox: and these staples are PREMIUM STAPLES
[13:59] Aerox: ULTIMATE STAPLE PERFORMANCE
[13:59] Cataract: All the pros use those!
[13:59] Aerox: PRECISION ENGINEERED CHISEL POINT FOR MAXIMUM PENETRATION
[13:59] Aerox: It actually says that on the box
[13:59] Cataract: lol "maximum penetration"
[13:59] tsunamikitsune: MAXIMUM PENETRATION
[13:59] aborto: PENETRATION!
[13:59] Tdiddy: Sounds like a Cblog to me
[14:00] tsunamikitsune: PENETRATION TO THE MAX
[14:00] SurplusGamer: Those premium staples are far stapler than even the staplest of staples you've tried before.
[14:00] aborto: THIS IS CBLOG WORTHY!
[14:00] Cataract: OOMPH OOMPH OOMPH
[14:01] Vlambo: I'm gonna get that tatooed to my wang
[14:01] SurplusGamer: you get the feeling this guy used to be the marketing guy for something like Nike.
[14:01] Gandy: CATARACT YOU ARE AWESOME AND I LOVE YOU
[14:01] Cataract: Que?
[14:01] Gibbo: You love all of us Gandy
[14:01] Aerox: I wish the iPhone camera could take close up shots without looking shitty
[14:01] Gandy: not you gibbo
[14:01] Gibbo: each in an individual way
[14:01] Vlambo: PRECISION ENGINEERED CHISEL POINT FOR MAXIMUM PENETRATION One both sides, like racing stripes

And a mere 5 minutes later, everything has fallen to hell.

[14:04] SurplusGamer: if I ever marketed staples they'd have 'PAPER-THRU TECHNOLOGY'
[14:04] Fusiontr: PENIS
[14:04] Aurvantoid: With 'HOLD STUFF TOGETHER DESIGN'
[14:04] *** Gibbo is now known as Gibbo|Blogging.
[14:05] Vlambo: CLASPED TOGETHER WITH OPTIUM GRIP
[14:05] Vlambo: i think we should go into the Advertising bidness
[14:05] Aerox: Mine would be made out of diamonds
[14:05] halfleft|away: i have returned
[14:05] *** halfleft|away is now known as halfleft.
[14:05] SurplusGamer: and 'FLEXI-POINT CORNERS'
[14:05] tsunamikitsune: I would make gummy staples
[14:06] *** naia has signed off IRC (Connection reset by peer).
[14:06] Aerox: You are the worst businessman ever
[14:06] halfleft: mid3vol, you're the fag
[14:06] tsunamikitsune: So you can eat them when you fuck it up and they don't staple right
[14:06] aborto: OUR STAPLES WILL PENETRATE THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PAPER!
[14:06] halfleft: not that there is anything wrong with that
[14:06] halfleft: i'm merely making an observation
[14:06] tsunamikitsune: which would be all the time, because they're made of fucking gummy
[14:06] Vlambo: HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THAT HOLD!?!! THAT PAPER COULD HOLD ONTO YOUR DICK WHILE FUCKING THE MOON
[14:06] Cataract: SHIIIIIIIIIT
[14:06] SurplusGamer: 'Sharper than THE SUN ITSELF'
[14:06] SurplusGamer: wait, what?
[14:06] halfleft: what the fuck is going on
[14:06] Vlambo: I need to find the extreme advertising pics i used to have
[14:07] arcadias: i have no idea
[14:07] tsunamikitsune: also, gummy stapler
[14:07] Aurvantoid: THE STAPLENATOR: SO FUCKING AWESOME YOU CAN STAPLE POWER POLES TOGETHER.
[14:07] arcadias: it want from gandy's penis to staples
[14:07] arcadias: and the marketing there of
[14:07] Vlambo: I would buy a stapler calld the Staplenator
[14:07] SurplusGamer: SO SHARP IT WILL SPLIT THOSE PAPER ATOMS LIKE A FUCKING FISSILE KNIFE THROUGH WATER
[14:07] halfleft: THE OMEGASTAPLER: FORCING PARALLEL UNIVERSES TOGETHER
[14:08] aborto: LUL
[14:08] Fusiontr: I'M SO CONFUSED
[14:08] Aerox: Maybe if you pay attention someone will staple some sense into you
[14:08] SurplusGamer: FOR PAPER SO CLOSE TOGETHER THAT ALL YOUR OTHER DOCUMENTS WILL BE TELLING THEM TO GET A FUCKING ROOM
[14:08] aborto: ULTIMASTAPLER: IT WILL FUCK YOUR MUM!
[14:08] Gemsi: THESE ARE THE STAPLES THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS
[14:09] tsunamikitsune: STAPLESAURUS REX: STRONG ENOUGH FOR A DINOSAUR, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN
[14:09] Vlambo: THEY WILL DO THE IMPOSSIBLE
[14:09] halfleft: lol gemsi
[14:09] halfleft: i'm ashamed to have spotted the reference
[14:10] Vlambo: Why Half?
[14:10] halfleft: STAPLEGA: BEFORE THERE WAS A GOD, THERE WAS THIS STAPLER
[14:10] Cataract: BELIEVE IN THESE STAPLES, WHO BELIEVE IN YOU
[14:10] Vlambo: Everyone loves TTGL
[14:10] halfleft: because !japan--
[14:10] theGoldenAvatar: Because he hates the japs
[14:10] halfleft: terrified might me more accurate
[14:11] Vlambo: Isn't WW2 hatred kinda old?
[14:11] Gemsi: i watched the first TTGL movie end of last week, it was pretty meh really compared to the parts of the series it was trying to retell
[14:11] SurplusGamer: FOR YOU, WATCHING ME STAPLE THESE DOCUMENTS TOGETHER WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE, FOR ME, THE UBERSTAPLER, IT WAS TUESDAY.
[14:11] theGoldenAvatar: Terrified of another Pearl Harbor?
[14:11] theGoldenAvatar: Can't trust em, I know
[14:12] Cataract: lol
[14:12] tsunamikitsune: STAPLEROTH: LONG ENOUGH TO STAPLE A FLOWER GIRL TO THE FLOOR
[14:12] *** darkwhitehair has joined #destructoid.
[14:12] Aurvantoid: ^this
[14:12] Gandy: My penis has staples in it
[14:12] Vlambo: Wife cheating ON YOU? STAPLE THAT WHORES CUNT UP WITH THE OMEGASTAPLER!
[14:12] darkwhitehair: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH
[14:13] Gandy: ohai dark
[14:13] SurplusGamer: STAYPLES: STUCK IN THERE GOOD. FUCKING GOOD.
[14:13] darkwhitehair: hai
[14:13] arcadias: STAPLES SO STRONG THEY CAN CLOSE THE HOLE IN THE O-ZONE LAYER
[14:13] Aurvantoid: A NAGGING ORIFICE GOT YOU DOWN? USE THE PATENTED FLAPSHUTTER STAPLES. TRUST US. THIS SHIT WORKS.
[14:13] darkwhitehair: HAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA
[14:13] Aerox: Amazing
[14:13] darkwhitehair: I was going through the podcastle forums
[14:13] darkwhitehair: what is wrong with all those people?
[14:13] Aerox: I hope someone is logging this
[14:13] Vlambo: WIFE PREGGERS?!!! USE OUR PATENTED ABROTO LINE STAPLES TO KEEP THAT SHIT IN THERE!
[14:13] Cataract: I autolog
[14:13] Tdiddy: They're english
[14:13] darkwhitehair: HAhAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
[14:14] Cataract: It's all gravy
[14:14] Aerox: Excellent, you are in charge of the blog
[14:14] Cataract: Yessir
[14:14] halfleft: STAPLÉR: IT'S SO FUCKING FRENCH IT'LL STEAL YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND HER MOTHER
[14:14] Gemsi: yeah i autolog as well
[14:14] tsunamikitsune: STAPLECRAFT: WHO NEEDS VESPENE GAS WHEN YOU CAN STAPLE THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR ENEMY?
[14:14] Aerox: J'ADORE STAPLE
[14:14] SurplusGamer: STAPLEX 3000: IF I WERE YOU I'D RUN. JUST RUN. WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!!
[14:14] darkwhitehair: anyone listening to the podtoid 100 live>
[14:14] darkwhitehair: ?
[14:14] Vlambo: STAPLECRAFT: THIS SHIT IS LIKE WATER IN KOREA
[14:14] darkwhitehair: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHH
[14:14] arcadias: lol
[14:15] Gemsi: screw podtoid, we are talking about staples
[14:15] halfleft: darkwhite, hush with your chuckles
[14:15] darkwhitehair: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
[14:15] halfleft: podtoid contains no staplers/staples
[14:15] darkwhitehair: :P
[14:15] SurplusGamer: when is the podtoid thing anyway?
[14:15] Cataract: THE DARK SIDE OF THE STAPLER: HOOK THIS SHIT UP WITH WIZARD OF OZ TO BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAIN OUT
[14:15] arcadias: RUN OR STAPLE? RUN OR STAPLE?!
[14:15] darkwhitehair: 7 00 PDT
[14:15] Cataract: RUN AND STAPLE
[14:15] darkwhitehair: ok how did the conversation get to staples?
[14:16] Tdiddy: Doesnt matter
[14:16] Aerox: My awesome stapler packaging
[14:16] Tdiddy: we're there now
[14:16] darkwhitehair: k
[14:16] tsunamikitsune: STAPLE STAPLE REVOLUTION: JUST STAPLE YOUR FEET TO THE PAD AND THE BUILT IN MICROPHONE WILL GRADE YOU THE INTENSITY OF YOUR SCREAMS!
[14:16] Vlambo: CANT SLEEP? STAPLE THOSE GAY ASS EYELIDS SHUT WITH OUR KNOCKOUTSTAPLER! YOULL BE STAPLING SHEEP TO A FENCE IN NO TIME
[14:16] arcadias: to explain it would ruin it
[14:16] Aurvantoid: STAPLE GEAR?!
[14:17] Cataract: A WALKING, STAPLING, TANK?
[14:17] Tdiddy: A SECURITY STAPLER!?
[14:17] bloodylip: STAPLE? STAPLE?! STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPLE!
[14:17] Cataract: METAL STAPLER LAUNCHES STALPLES? NO!
[14:17] arcadias: I LIVE ON, THROUGH THIS STAPLER!
[14:17] Fusiontr: A NUCLEAR STAPLE?!
[14:17] Simmy: this is fucking comedy gold
[14:17] SurplusGamer: THEY'RE SINKING THE CITY WITH A GIANT STAPLE! A GIANT STAAAPLE!
[14:17] tsunamikitsune: TONY HAWK'S PRO STAPLER
[14:18] Vlambo: STAPLER STAPLING MY STAPLER
[14:18] halfleft: STAPLER is the new douche
[14:18] Kasreyn: nuclear stapler!
[14:18] Tdiddy: By the power of stapler, I HAVE THE POOOOOOWWWWWERRRRRR!!!
[14:18] tsunamikitsune: STAPLE THE HEDGEHOG: NO, IT'S NOT A NEW SONIC CHARACTER, IT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE
[14:18] Cataract: I'd buy it
[14:18] darkwhitehair: SOLD!
[14:18] Tdiddy: lol, kit
[14:18] Gandy: agreed
[14:19] Kasreyn: STAPLER RUSH!
[14:19] arcadias: gotta be better than their recent efforts
[14:19] Tdiddy: sad part is, it wouldnt be the worst Sonic character ever
[14:19] halfleft: prepaid
[14:19] Fusiontr: I'm going to make him a document he can't refuse to staple
[14:19] darkwhitehair: Staple Princess... the opposite team has your princess... they are feeding her cake... staple that bitch up so she doesnt get fat...
[14:19] halfleft: Our stapler is in another castle?
[14:19] Kasreyn: i want to play it
[14:20] theGoldenAvatar: John Romero's about to make you his stapler
[14:20] Cataract: lol
[14:20] darkwhitehair: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
[14:20] Cataract: ATLAS IS STAPLER!
[14:20] Fusiontr: I just want to say one word to you - just one word.... staples
[14:20] Aerox: The sad part is is that my precision engineered chisel point can't even penetrate 40 pieces of paper
[14:20] theGoldenAvatar: Would you kindly staple this?
[14:20] halfleft: darkwhitehair, on the internet, we'd say 'lol'.
[14:20] Aerox: I had to use our extreme industrial stapler for that
[14:20] darkwhitehair: You had me at Staples...
[14:20] SurplusGamer: mm. STAPLESHOCK
[14:20] tsunamikitsune: THE ORANGE STAPLER: WHO NEEDS FIVE GREAT GAMES IN ONE WHEN YOU CAN HAVE ONE FUCKING AMAZING STAPLER?
[14:20] Cataract: ASSASSINS STAPLER
[14:20] halfleft: nice, kit
[14:20] arcadias: wasnt the swingline in office space orange?
[14:20] halfleft: STAPLER'S CREED
[14:20] arcadias: the signs were always there
[14:20] Vlambo: THAT PYRO IS A STAPLER
[14:21] tsunamikitsune: PHANTASY STAPLER ONLINE
[14:21] Aurvantoid: Arcadias: It was red
[14:21] Cataract: STAPLER SAPPIN MAH SENTRY
[14:21] Vlambo: STAPLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEER HERE!
[14:21] Gemsi: UNREAL STAPLER 3
[14:21] darkwhitehair: Call of Stapler: Modern Warfare...
[14:21] Vlambo: STAPLER 4 DEAD
[14:21] Kasreyn: \o/
[14:21] Cataract: CoD: Modern Stapler
[14:21] theGoldenAvatar: Didn’t we have some fun though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the stapler and I said ‘Goodbye’ and you were like ‘NO WAY!’ and then I was all ‘We pretended we were going to staple you’? That was great.
[14:21] Aurvantoid: RESIDENT STAPLER
[14:21] halfleft: Stapler of Honour
[14:21] darkwhitehair: STAPLE STAPLE STAPLE!
[14:22] SurplusGamer: PHOENIX WRIGHT: ACE STAPLER
[14:22] Simmy: STAPLESTATION 3
[14:22] Gemsi: mario kart : double stapler
[14:22] Vlambo: STAPLER CHEIF VS THE PAPERCLIP
[14:22] darkwhitehair: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
[14:22] Fusiontr: "You know how to staple, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow."
[14:22] SurplusGamer: STAPLING MAMA
[14:22] Aurvantoid: There was this one time I was about to bone by girlfrind but we heard a noise and I looked up and I saw it was a Stapler. Then I went back to bone my girlfriend but she was like "there was no way".
[14:22] theGoldenAvatar: Run, you pigeons! It's a STAPLER!
[14:22] darkwhitehair: Big Mutha Staplers 3: Staple me harder
[14:23] SurplusGamer: semi obscure grim fandango reference, there.
[14:23] Fusiontr: SOYLENT GREEN IS STAPLERS
[14:23] tsunamikitsune: STAPLEMAN: YOUR MEGABUSTER WON'T HELP YOU WHEN HE PENETRATES YOUR ASS
[14:23] Gemsi: Today, i lost my stapler FML
[14:23] Aurvantoid: STAPLER OF SOCIETY
[14:23] Aurvantoid: or
[14:23] Aurvantoid: STAPLER TO SOCIETY
[14:23] Simmy: LITTLE BIG STAPLER
[14:23] halfleft: I CAN HAZ STAPLER?
[14:23] SurplusGamer: ETERNAL STAPLER
[14:24] Fusiontr: MARTINI. SHAKEN, NOT STAPLED
[14:24] darkwhitehair: RapeStapler... NEW STAPLING GAME FROM JAPAN!
[14:24] Kasreyn: yes!
[14:24] SurplusGamer: STAPLED, NOT STIRRED surely!
[14:24] Gemsi: KillStapler 2
[14:24] Vlambo: ENTIRE TEAM IS STAPLER
[14:24] Vlambo: cmon Aerox, you get these
[14:24] Simmy: GRAND THEFT STAPLER
[14:24] Fusiontr: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'S STAPLER
[14:24] arcadias: STREET STAPLER IV
[14:24] darkwhitehair: Stapler of Wars 2... bigger.. badder... and more STAPLES!
[14:25] Gemsi: Capturer the stapler
[14:25] SurplusGamer: STAPLE OF THE COLOSSUS
[14:25] Kasreyn: LEGO STAPLER
[14:25] tsunamikitsune: STREET STAPLER 2: TURBO HD MAX PENETRATION REMIX
[14:25] Simmy: STAPLEPOCALYPSE NOW
[14:25] Fusiontr: I gave her my heart....and she gave me a stapler
[14:25] darkwhitehair: someone buy the website... stapletoid.com
[14:25] darkwhitehair: get on it wardrox...
[14:25] Gemsi: Streets of Stapler
[14:25] Cataract: Is wardrox still banned?
[14:25] Fusiontr: You want staples?
[14:25] Fusiontr: I want the truth
[14:26] Fusiontr: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE STAPLERS
[14:26] Cataract: I remember when he got banned for bawwing about Home
[14:26] darkwhitehair: really?
[14:26] SurplusGamer: eh?
[14:26] darkwhitehair: wha?
[14:26] halfleft: no cataract
[14:26] Tdiddy: no
[14:26] Tdiddy: He whined his way back in
[14:26] Cataract: lame
[14:26] Tdiddy: then never really came back
[14:26] *** Gibbo|Blogging has signed off IRC (Ping timeout).
[14:26] darkwhitehair: hahahahahahahhaahahah
[14:26] Gemsi: Stapler Nukem Forever
[14:26] darkwhitehair: That is cancelled...
[14:26] Fusiontr: Staples...mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. If there's anything I'm a sucker for, it's staples
[14:26] Tdiddy: besides telling me that I "didnt get" Far Cry 2
[14:26] Kasreyn: how clever of you sony. you have to give me an entire apartment before i visit your shitty home
[14:26] Tdiddy: I STILL DONT GET THAT
[14:27] SurplusGamer: Anyone getting the Playstaple 4 when it comes out?
[14:27] *** Simmy is now known as Simmy|Away|StaplingSomething.
[14:27] Kasreyn: they don't even have staplers?
[14:27] Fusiontr: HOW STAPLES GOT THEIR GROOVE BACK
[14:27] Gemsi: depends how many staples it costs SurplusGamer
[14:27] Gandy: Staplecats Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
[14:28] Fusiontr: I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like....Staples
[14:28] darkwhitehair: Staple Warriors: Gundam 2
[14:28] Tdiddy: bawww, no skate 2 in the mail today
[14:28] Gandy: boring game is boring
[14:28] darkwhitehair: does anyone here play DOTA?
[14:28] darkwhitehair: ??
[14:28] *** Gibbo|Blogging has joined #destructoid.
[14:29] Kasreyn: yeah not enough staples..
[14:29] Tdiddy: Nope, none of us are korean
[14:29] Fusiontr: Mrs. Robinson. You're trying to staple me, aren't you?
[14:29] darkwhitehair: hahahahahahahha
[14:29] darkwhitehair: seriousLY? cmon people dota
[14:29] SurplusGamer: stop badmouthing home! people have been banned for that!
[14:29] darkwhitehair: awesome game
[14:29] SurplusGamer: Oh wait, it sucks.
[14:29] darkwhitehair: Live long and Staple....
[14:29] Kasreyn: just wait for the stapler patch!
[14:30] darkwhitehair: Star Stapler: Wrath of Staples... STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPLE!!! *looks up at the camera*
[14:30] Aurvantoid: STTAAAAPLLLEEEEE PPPAAWWNNNNCCCHHHHH!!!!!!
[14:30] Kasreyn: stapled pancakes
[14:31] * Alucard falcon YES!
[14:31] Fusiontr: STAPLE BREAK *Keanu Reeves points his stapler up in the air and fires off staples* NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[14:31] darkwhitehair: Guitar Stapler 5
[14:31] Vlambo: I'll be stapler
[14:32] darkwhitehair: Id staple her...
[14:32] *** Tdiddy has signed off IRC (Ping timeout).
[14:32] Fusiontr: Teenage Mutant Ninja Staples
[14:32] Gibbo|Blogging: to my penis
[14:34] *** Hitogoroshi has signed off IRC (Ping timeout).
[14:34] *** BunnyRabbit2 has joined #destructoid.
[14:34] *** Mode change "+v BunnyRabbit2" for channel #destructoid by ChanBot.
[14:35] halfleft: Stapler? I damn near killed her!
[14:35] theGoldenAvatar: Stapler? I hardly know her.
[14:35] theGoldenAvatar: ...
[14:35] halfleft: i like mine better
[14:35] theGoldenAvatar: You would
[14:36] darkwhitehair: Resistapler: Fall of Man...
[14:36] halfleft: because I'm a horrific human being?
[14:36] bloodylip: i like his better, too
[14:36] *** Fusiontr has signed off IRC (Ping timeout).
[14:36] Aurvantoid: Give me Stapler! or give me Death!
[14:38] darkwhitehair: are you a Heterostapler? or a HomoStapler?