Now, those of you who know me on the site either through IRC or NY NARPS know I don't blog much. Personally, I doubt my skills as a writer, so I don't contribute unless I have something that I feel really contributes to Destructoid. Since today is Halloween, however, I felt I could tell the story of something that happened last night that I think you might at least get a kick out of. This is all pretty much copypasted from when i said it in IRC earlier with a tiny bit of editing to save me a metric fuckton of typing. Also, I know it's long, but please stick with it, you'll be glad you did.

Now, for those of you who celebrate Halloween, you may have remembered that last night was mischief night, or whatever it's called in your neighborhood. There also happens to be a group of rather, cunthat-wearing kids who live on my block, so I like to sit in my car across the street, lights off, and just wait for some little shit to try and egg my house or TP something. Well, I also keep an aluminum baseball bat with me , just for kicks. i wouldnt actually hit one of em, but when a 14 year old kid sees someone going after them with a bat, they kinda shit themselves. So a group of kids starts eyeing out my house at about 9 or so last night, and I get out of my truck, and start to yell the usual stuff, "What the hell are you doing", "Get the fuck out of here", etc. One of them tries to be the tough kid, and starts to try and yell back, when he throws a can of shaving cream at me, and it was a decent throw, too. I did the one thing I've dreamed of doing. I bring the bat back into stance, and line drive the can into his face. They ran, and I laughed my ass off. But wait! the adventure doesnt end there. Alright, so i resume to sit bakc in my truck across the street when a cop pulls up. Fuck. Now, obviously he's here for me, because he gets out of his car and begins to walk over. No big deal, I'll get out and talk to him. Although I almost was crapping myself at the idea of paying a fine or going to court. So I start talking to the cop, who i actually knew a while back as being one of the more awesome, laid back people in the department for my town. For the most aprt, as long as you don't do something stupid or start breaking shit and being an asshole, he's got no problem with you. Now, he tells me that he got a call from the kids Dad who was fucking furious that I hit his son with a can of shaving cream. Hell, it's a bit understandable. If I had a kid who got fucked up by a can of shaving cream, I'd be a bit angry too. t I tell him the story, and get to the part where I hit the shaving cream can back, and he starts to not believe me anymore. I mean, lets be honest, it seems a bit far fetched. I get the bat out of my truck, and not only is there a bit of shaving cream on the bat, but theres a tiny dent where I hit it. I dented a bat by hitting a can of shaving cream into a kids face. Now, the cop saw this, and realized I wasn't bullshitting. "Seriously? Thats awesome! Honestly, since he was trying to deface your property and you were "defending it", you technically can't be charged with anything. Well, at least thats what we'll tell the kids parents." So all in all, I ended up line driving a can of shaving cream into a kids face, and a cop thought it was awesome, and nothing bad happened. The end. Although, lulz may ensue if the kid tries to come to my house for trick or treating.

Happy Halloween, Destructoid!