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Why I love Destructoid
Cartman | 8:38 PM on 08.24.2009 10 comments






Lets give the recap team a headache. Again.

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So I pimped out my ds
Cartman | 6:40 PM on 08.24.2009 23 comments


I'm starting college soon, so I figured it was time to dig up my ds and give it some love. Ya'know, so I can play tetris with the hot girl sitting next to me whilst my teacher gives me tips. That's what college is like, right?



I ordered a leather case and a Gears Of War vinyl skin for it.



It has a very distinct cowboy feel to it, dont'ya think? Yes, it does.








Also, I got these sweet COG tags ( Which I have now attached to my keys )




Also also, I'm going away with some friends soon, so I need some reccomendations for ds games to buy. I love rpgs.

And finally, I just wanted to say, I love you guys


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Top ten C-blog top tens
Cartman | 12:19 PM on 08.20.2009 36 comments




10)

RandomBullseyes' Top Ten Top Ten Lists by Jim Sterling

9)

Tubatics' 10 Reasons to Get Way of the Samurai 3

8)

RandomBullseyes' Top Ten Multiple Disc Games


7)

AgentMoos' 10 reasons to get AMMO


6)

DJDuffys' 10 Reasons why Jesus is magic

5)

tazarthayoots' 10 Reasons why Obama's from Hawaii

4)

SuitcoatAvengers' 10 reasons to buy Top Ramen

3)

Randombullseyes' Ten reasons to not buy a PS3

2)

BlehMans' Ten reasons to buy a 360

1)

Cartmans' Top ten C-blog top tens

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A letter to Bill Holbrook [ NVGR ]
Cartman | 12:36 PM on 08.15.2009 6 comments


My friends, we have a problem.

Im sure you all know what i'm talking about.




For some reason, this asshole has not seen an IP ban yet, so I decided to take matters into my own hands.


Yes,

I wrote an angry letter.




His site had a very handy form to comprise what I thought about his comics.




Hello, Mr.Holbrook. How are you? Good? Great.

I'm writing on behalf of an Internet community im a part of, called Destructoid.

Name sounds familiar does it?
I'll bet. You see, someone has been posting your shitty comics on our blog section for about a month now.

We thought it would go away, but whoever it is has remained resiliant. I must take a moment to commend this; it is truly trolling at it's finest.

I hope you will take my concerns into deep consideration, Mr.Holbrook, because our leader is getting rather impatient too.
He is a great man, but he is not a forgiving man.

Anyway, i'm sure you will do your best to resolve this matter so we can go on with our little gaming blogs, and you can continue to make your shitty little comics.

Yours, Cartman.

P.s Also, cocks.


Too much? Not enough? Not worth blogging about?

Perhaps. But I am bored.

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What Game developers are doing wrong
Cartman | 3:11 PM on 08.10.2009 6 comments


You know, more and more these days I find myself repeating the same thing out loud to myself when playing games. Things like:

" At what point did the developers think this was a good idea!? "

Or

" What were they on when they put this in??"

Etc. Hopefully you get the point. Sure, games are getting bigger, with higher budgets and cutting-edge graphics. But this also means that there is alot more room for errors to be made somewhere down the line.

So, join me, as I attempt to explain what Games developers are doing wrong.


Over hyping your game



Main Offenders:
Too Human
Fable 2
Halo 3 ( And every future Halo-related game )
Assassins' Creed

There's a difference between advertising and hyping. Of course you need to advertise, how else would people know about your game?

I know it's hard for you. You've made this thing, which you think is the best of it's kind, and you want to boast its greatness to everyone. But, please, restrain yourself. I've seen so many games get shot down so much more because it was overhyped and didn't deliver the goods.

Maybe your game is all that you say it is, and maybe you will be praised for letting everyone know it. But maybe not. Just keep your mouth shut and let the consumers be the judge of how good your game is.


Not getting your game properly checked and tested for bugs



Main Offenders:
Fallout 3
Oblivion
Gears Of War 1/2

For me at least, nothing is more annoying then having to restart my game because of a glitch. It's one of the main reasons why I stop playing certain games; not because they are bad games, quite the contrary, I was enjoying them but I just lost alot of game progress because the designer messed up. So I give up.

Picture this : Your a wasteland raider. Your exploits are known throughout the land. Nothing dares stand in your way, and anything that does, doesn't live long enough to regret it. You find a nearby raider base; perfect, you need some supplies. After making quick work of the inhabitants, you jump across a desk to claim your prize. But wait. You haven't landed on the other side yet.
No, your stuck in the desk. You move around as much as you can, mashing everything to try to free yourself, but to no avail. You are stuck. You, the greatest pirate the wasteland has ever known, is stuck in a desk.

It's a bit of an understatement to say that its an immersion killer. In games like the one I exampled above, Fallout, one of the greatest things is to get immersed into the world. But when glitches and bugs are thrown at you, it is like a slap in the face and you are brought right back onto your couch, in front of your 360.


Adding one, inexplicable , frustrating level / mission



Main offenders:
Star wars : The force unleashed
Any and all Call Of Duty's ( Veteran difficulty )
Comix Zone
Puzzle Quest

We've all been there. Your enjoying your game, thinking " Wow, this game has been pretty solid so far, I hope nothing comes and fucks it up" and then something totally does.

I'm talking about the parts that make you stand up and scream at the television, as if it had any part in the gayness you have just experienced. The parts that make you throw your controller across the room, and then when your friends ask what happened, you say " I dropped it ".

Sure we feel silly afterwards for getting so angry ( either after we've beaten the level or just said " Fuck this game" ) , but at the time, you cannot come up with an explanation as to why the developers would think that this part would be fun to play. Why did they suddenly take a turn from the awesome gameplay I've been enjoying so far, to this pile of asscrap?

So, come on developers, keep your game either totally awesome, or just crap the whole way through. Preferably the first one.

Pissing off the fan(Boys)



Main Offenders:
Left 4 dead 2
CoD : MW 2

Whether you love em' or hate em' ( I hate them ) Fanboys are a significant source of moneys for developers. Getting them angry could mean they will start petitions and boycotts, resulting in BILLIONS of potential dollars going down the drain.

So, show a little respect for your fans. Give them a free map every once in a while, call them and see how they're doing, but, most importantly, don't make promises you can't ( Or won't ) keep.

Not making your next game another new LOST game.



Come on.

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So, it begins.[S-Blog]
Cartman | 1:03 PM on 08.04.2009 12 comments


I can't fight it anymore. I am finally going to start writing a blog.




I guess you can count this as my intro? I have been here a while, not really lurking, but for some reason I never made a blog. All my info is right there on the side.

I've already got a topic in mind of my next blog post. See, I'm just about to start re-playing through my favourite game of all time, Final Fantasy IX. I was thinking that when I got to my favourite parts, or an important part of the storyline, I'll write about it and share my thoughts on the plot line, characters, etc.

Let me know what you think, if you're even remotely interested in this. I understand that most of the FF love goes to number VII, so I'm not sure how many people will be interested in this.

Anyway, let me know what you think. I'll leave you with the image result I got when I typed " Blogging" into google.


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 about me

Yo Dtoid, i'm Cartman. I've been on here for a little over a year I think, and soon i'm gonna start writing a blog. So, yeah, we can all look forward to that.
I'm nearly 17, I live in England ( Birmingham ) . It sucks, I hate it. I want to one day leave this place to fulfill my dream of becoming a cowboy.

I grew up using the megadrive, then shortly after the PS1. I dont really care for " retro " games.

My top ten games are as follows:

1) Final Fantasy IX
2) Bioshock
3) Gears Of War series
4) Dynasty warriors series
5) Pokemon series
6) Fallout 3
7) Zombies Ate My Neighbours
8) Oblivion
9) Enchanted Arms
10) TLOTR: The third age

I love LOST And anything related to LOST.

Im outtie.

 xbox 360 gamertag
 friends' updates
KIDA26's Profile KIDA26
Fails at blogging.


 

 
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