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About Me
I know i've been been gone a while. But i'm back now. And i'm here to save you all

My top ten games are as follows:

1) Gears Of War series
2) Final Fantasy IX
3) Bioshock Series
4) Dynasty warriors series
5) Pokemon series
6) Fallout 3
7) Zombies Ate My Neighbours
8) Oblivion
9) Enchanted Arms
10) TLOTR: The third age

I love them boys at Mega64

Im outtie.

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Gamertag: Kewpid
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E for Effort: Gears of LAG
Cartman | 2:53 PM on 04.21.2010 9 comments



I love Gears of War. I love its universe, its characters, its story, and damn near eveything else. Ive completed each game about 5 times, read both books twice each (and am eagerly awaiting the third), hell, I even have COG tags attached to my keys. So I must be beyond happy that the game has a multiplayer mode, where i can take my favourite characters online and test my shotgun skills against other players, right?

Wrong.



If you've ever gone into the deep abyss of Gears multiplayer, I can only assume you know most of the problems i'm about to address. If you haven't played GoW before, then I both pity and envy you.

The first, and arguably the biggest, problem of Gears online is one which has infected the online gaming world since the beginning: Lag. Lag ruins games. It can turn what was supposed to be a fun night shooting people in the face with your friends into an angry fit of cursing and controller breaking. It is pure evil, and it does not discriminate. Not in Gears of War.

You see, when you enter a match of gears, the game will automatically choose one player to be a host. Quite why Epic Games, who is no stranger to multiplayer , would put this into their games is beyond me. It was a hugely complained-about problem in the first game, and yet Epic still chose to keep it in.

What makes things worse is that instead of picking the player with the best overall connection to be host, it seems to just pick at random, which usually results in someone with a bad or just average connection being chosen. Even if there are 9 people in a lobby from, lets say, America, and one person from Australia, theres a big chance the Aussie will be selected, meaning the Yanks will be lagged out and will bombard the poor Australian guy with angry, hateful messages. The Aussie will then become confused, as his connection is fine when playing Call Of Duty or Battlefield, and will wonder why he was the reason everyone else lagged.



The cherry on the cake, however, is that the host, who is probably involuntarily lagging out his fellow gears players, will have a near perfect connection. His bullets will be released the moment to pulls the trigger, he will be able to take and deal out alot more damage then anyone else, and he wont be teleported across the map. Therefore, as you can imagine, the other players will be sitting ducks for the host to easily blast away. Unfair, right?

Now, usually this wouldn't be such a big deal, if it wasn't for the aforementioned fact: I LOVE Gears of War. Thats why every laggy game, every inexplicable bullshit death, every glitch, bug and general shenanigan hurts that little bit more. Because I know how awesome the multiplayer could have been, but some huge ass balls were dropped, and we got this mess.

However, I completely respect the notion that Gears should have online. When you get the odd match (and i mean, ODD) where you don't lag, the host-advantage is low, no one rage quits, no glitches or bugs occur, and the team that wins do so because of their superior skill, and not their superior connection, then it is a very, very good time. Therefore, I can only hope beyond hope that Gears of War 3 matches the gloriousness of its brothers on the campaign side of things, and also brings in a new era of gears multiplayer. One where we can run free, lag free, with each other on the beautiful aspho fields, and chainsaw some Locust face off. Because, after all...


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"Final" faggotys racist joke
Cartman | 12:08 AM on 04.18.2010 12 comments


Alright. lets clear things up

FINAL





THIRTEEN


who can tell me the difference????

nie joke guys, it was pretty funny

dont you ever think about the repurcushions of ur action? you hurt alot of people squareenix, and you dont even care

one lastt time

it cant be final if its not final

by that logic the pople who were in the nursing home when it *mysteriously* burned down would sttil be with us

I've seen your flag on the marble arch,
love is not a victory march,
it's a cold and its a broken game that lies to you in the title b4 you even open the box

i want my dlc, gamestop never told me if i bought preowned i wouldnt get the dlc

and please dont flame, because i hav a lvl 100 blastoise, and evry1 knos trolling is bad for the soul




and yes........i really do hate final Fantasy excuse me while i go PWN some cake.

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Cartman's review of tonight's Meme
Cartman | 4:58 PM on 12.06.2009 10 comments


Ive had better.




Also, first one to spot Waldo wins.


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Why I love Destructoid
Cartman | 8:38 PM on 08.24.2009 11 comments






Lets give the recap team a headache. Again.

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So I pimped out my ds
Cartman | 6:40 PM on 08.24.2009 23 comments


I'm starting college soon, so I figured it was time to dig up my ds and give it some love. Ya'know, so I can play tetris with the hot girl sitting next to me whilst my teacher gives me tips. That's what college is like, right?



I ordered a leather case and a Gears Of War vinyl skin for it.



It has a very distinct cowboy feel to it, dont'ya think? Yes, it does.








Also, I got these sweet COG tags ( Which I have now attached to my keys )




Also also, I'm going away with some friends soon, so I need some reccomendations for ds games to buy. I love rpgs.

And finally, I just wanted to say, I love you guys


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Top ten C-blog top tens
Cartman | 12:19 PM on 08.20.2009 37 comments




10)

RandomBullseyes' Top Ten Top Ten Lists by Jim Sterling

9)

Tubatics' 10 Reasons to Get Way of the Samurai 3

8)

RandomBullseyes' Top Ten Multiple Disc Games


7)

AgentMoos' 10 reasons to get AMMO


6)

DJDuffys' 10 Reasons why Jesus is magic

5)

tazarthayoots' 10 Reasons why Obama's from Hawaii

4)

SuitcoatAvengers' 10 reasons to buy Top Ramen

3)

Randombullseyes' Ten reasons to not buy a PS3

2)

BlehMans' Ten reasons to buy a 360

1)

Cartmans' Top ten C-blog top tens

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