CB: Bowser, King of the Koopas, thank you for taking the time out of your packed schedule to take part in this exclusive behind-the-scenes interview.

B: Captain Bus, thank you, for giving me the opportunity to finally set the record straight.

CB: I wanted to start, most appropriately, at the beginning: The first opportunity we get to see you in action. I speak, of course, of your wildly successful debut in “Super Mario Bros”.

B: Well, yes, it really goes to show my obvious appeal. Mario and Luigi’s debut in “Mario Bros” received a relatively warm response, but it was only when a truly charismatic antagonist, a powerful and debonair foil, with a penchant for grand castles, did things truly work out for them. It's really thanks to me that the Mario Brothers reached their levels of fame. Not that I am bitter, of course...


CB: Yes, quite... Well, what prompted you to enter a career of supervillainy?

B: The role found me, not vice versa. In your world, you had similar visionaries such as Julius Caeser and Ghengis Khan. History has painted them as tyrannical empire builders, but investigation into their lives show that these were but men driven not only by ambition but also a desire for unity of their people. The indigenous koopas and goombas of my kingdom vastly outnumber those petulant toads, yet my people remain segregated and oppressed, forced into the wastelands and plains of the Mushroom Kingdom, while those little fungus folk dance and make merry in Peach's castle and grounds. All I did was unite my people under a common banner and gave them a voice. I have done nothing more villainous than your Che Guevara or Ghandi.

CB: ...I see. What of the kidnapping of Princess Peach?

B: Granted, it was a rash move on my part, but the Princess refused to listen to reason. To her, my loyal subjects were nothing more than violent, monstrous beasts. My assertion that she was segregating and oppressing my people was countered by her assertion that my people are monstrous and violent, and such segregation was necessary for her and her subjects’ protection. However, my subjects never attack without provocation, which is more than you can say about those petty moustachioed thugs she coerced into her retrieval.

CB: The game does not seem to paint you in such a thoughtful, selfless light.

B: As a man in your world said, “History is written by the winners.” My subjects fought bravely, but exposure to our world gave those alien plumbers incredible powers. Imbued with super speed and agility, and able to take the simple flora and fauna of our world and turn them into the ability to manipulate fire, flight and even life itself to their ends.

CB: Yes, I had noticed that. I had a bolognese this morning and was able to destroy walls with my spit.

B:Well, yes, anyway It was far from a fair fight. Once we were defeated, the casualties were enormous and I was forced to call a truce.

CB: ...And yet, you continued to fight Mario on Luigi on their terms, in subsequent series using your entire family in attempt to thwart them.

B: Well, yes. As I said, history favours the winners. However, history also loves a tryer! (chuckles)

CB: (chuckles) Indeed. So, what is your take on games such as “Braid” and “Shadow of the Colossus” which are showing villains from a protagonist’s perspective?

B: I’m all for it. It’s the chance for more people to see that the difference between heroism and villainy is how the general consensus regards their actions. The chance to show that evil is rarely black and white. Perhaps it will help put characters such as me in perspective. Good and Evil are words, impaired by the beholder.

CB: Bowser, thank you for your time.

Source: BBC News

From the Article:
With the help of mice scampering through a virtual maze, scientists have taken recordings from inside individual brain cells, or neurons.

In the virtual reality system, the mice were able to run around while their heads were kept relatively still. This enabled the scientists to measure continuously from one neuron.

Describing the wider significance of the work Professor Tank said: "There is still debate about what place cells are.

"Are they a fundamental part of brain circuitry for navigation? Or are they involved in something more general like... the ability to remember a sequence of events."

Professor Tank described how the virtual reality system could give neuroscientists the tools they needed to address these questions.

"One of the things about virtual reality," he said, "is that you can make manipulations that you can't in the real world. You could alter an environment as the mouse is walking through it [and see how the cells respond]."

What isn't covered in the article is how studies like this could be of benefit, but greater understanding of an animal's motor function could provide further progress in understanding degenerative conditions such as Motor Neurone Disease and Parkinson's.

And yes, it is all due to videogames. Damn you and your distracting, pointless nonsense!

Now, some of you may know me, some of you may have even read my handful of blogs, but most of you probably don't. I've only been a DToider for a few months and, as with any newcomer who doesn't want to simply get shot down in flames, you tend to keep in the shadows, ingratiating yourself with the veterans and the moderators where appropriate.

I have particular fondness for the comments boards. Often these are the icing on the cake of the article and I will admit to much enjoyment into putting in my own two cents. I hope on some occasions I have written down something worth reading.

A recent article concerning a man who intends to sue Sony after Firmware bricked his PS3 prompted me to include the following comment:





Not exactly Shakespeare, I know, but pretty innocuous enough, I thought. My chief aim (which, in hindsight, I didn't clarify as successfully as I had hoped) was to posit that there are more important things for the court system to contend with than a guy whose console broke on him.

However, I was somewhat surprised to find the following reply:





Now, I wasn't 100% clear on what a "junior king" was, other than presumably an entertaining object for those with impaired cognitive functioning, but the rest came through crystal clear: My terrible use of English, and poor understanding of the civil court system, has deemed it necessary that I part from existence in a bristling inferno.

I thought this was somewhat of an overreaction.

I like to think I am good people, so I felt I should submit a formal apology, and perhaps offer some suggestions of my own. A sort of Destructoid Community Outreach Programme, if you will.





In conclusion, I think myself and hpv have both learned a lot. I will be thinking very carefully before I commit to anything so venomous as a non-fact-checked suggestions in future, and will be at my local DIY store at lunchtime to find out the best kind of wood to get a pyre set up. Hopefully hpv will have also learned something about himself and will have taken up meditation and camomile teas in order to temper his blistering anger.

Until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other.

Just bought Super Smash Bros: Brawl? Heard all about Sonic and Solid Snake as special characters? Wanted to play using them straight away? Here’s your reward when you boot up the first character select screen for Brawl:



What’s wrong?

Oh! You were thinking you’d be able to play as Sonic and Solid Snake straight away! Oh, you are funny! No, you have to unlock them by dragging yourself through story mode, or at very least by playing hundreds of matches! Why would we want to just hand them to you?

Sometimes, graduated unlocks make sense. You don’t want to be given the most powerful weapons in an RPG or adventure title straight away, as there’s no sense of challenge or accomplishment in being provided with a world-destroying arsenal against miniature grunts, but for multiplayer games such as Rock Band, Super Smash Bros Brawl and Gran Turismo 4, asking that you drag yourself through the solo campaign to unlock the more exotic paraphernalia of a title is patronising. We expect it, and imagine that the designers know what’s best when they’re making these games, but oftentimes there are crucial parts of games that you’re not given access to until you’ve jumped through the developer’s preset hoops.


Wanted to play "The Who" straight away in Rock Band? 'Fraid not, buddy.

The level of control relinquished from the gamer is equally evident when you look at what settings you are allowed to change for multiplayer. You want custom weapon sets for same-screen deathmatch in Call of Duty 4? I’m afraid I can’t let you do that. You want to select what weapons are available in Mario Kart Wii multiplayer, and switch off the cheapest weapon in history, The Blue Shell? I’m afraid I can’t let you do that. More recently, the co-op-vs-waves-of-enemies Firefight mode in Halo 3: ODST doesn't allow you to play alongside those not on your friends' list. Not even allowing it to be optional but not recommended smacks of excessive control.

Even Halo 3's Forge, lauded as one of the most flexible editing tools for a console experience, has its limits. Ever wanted what it would be to drop a Scorpion in the middle of Guardian? Well, keep wondering because Forge won’t let you do that. Would it be stupid? Maybe. Let us find out why it would be stupid though, would you please Bungie?


No tank here for you.

None of these ideas are beyond the realm of programming ability, nor do they annihilate the challenge from gaming. It’s simply a developer’s belief that they know better what should be adjustable or immediately available in their games, and what shouldn’t.

Perhaps they’re not always right.

Hot off the back of news about the Dragon's Age Collector's Edition (link), I want my fellow Dtoiders to get in the ground floor of an exciting new edition I am creating.

I will be releasing a special third edition of Dragon's Age: Origins, titled Dragon's Age: Origins: Slice Of Ham Edition.


Artist's Impression of Dragon's Age: Origins: Slice Of Ham Edition boxart

Now, I know SOHE will only be for the hardcore Dragon's Age: Origins collectors who want to claim they own all three editions of Dragon's Age: Origins, which is why it is a limited edition pre-order and therefore costs $15 more than the usual Dragon's Age: Origins RRP.

Features of Dragon's Age: Origins: Slice Of Ham Edition
- Faint smell of ham before opening the box!
- Slice of ham where there was once a disc!
- Instruction Manual! (which now smells of ham)

I must forewarn people that, as with all special editions, the value of Dragon's Age: Origins: Slice Of Ham Edition can go down as well as up, and a with any collections I cannot guarantee that it will hold its value over time.

After reading an interesting article about raucous point-and-click adventure title Time Gentlemen, Please! I bit the bullet and thought I'd install the demo and try it out. After a short installation on Steam I was greeted with the following upon trying to play the game.


Thanks, stupid pop-up, you have relieved me of the burden of getting to play the game I want to play.

Thus, I begin the trial of checking to find the setup programme (which appears not to exist), then the Steam website for support (no help), the Zombie Cow website for support (no help), the Adventure Game Studio website for support (no help), then check my graphics drivers are up-to-date (no help), before eventually giving up.

If I want to play this game, I will have to continue trawling the internet and/or my OS to try and solve a ridiculous puzzle that has been presented to me. After which I may well identify that it cannot be solved as the result of some technical aspect of my laptop being amiss, such as my graphics card being unable to render polygons the way the game likes them rendered, so I am simply left defeated.

I'm sure that there are some chip jockeys out there who are likely to scoff at my exploits, demanding why I'm not more au fait with my OS and hardware, or why I cannot decipher the riddle with ease, drill into the menu choices lodged within Vista's bowels, adjust the required checkboxes and menus and get the game running.

I'm sorry, but I just wanted to relax and play a game.

PC stalwarts will insist that it is worth the hassle to play games such as Crysis that consoles are yet to replicate in beauty and depth of physics, and games such as Left 4 Dead that really come into their own with community levels and mods. To some degree they are quite right. However, there seems so much heartache to get to that point, when I can just pick up a 360 controller to play Halo 3, or a PS3 controller to play Killzone 2, and gain access to experiences that are as unique any PC title. All with the added bonus of gaining that experience straight away, with comfort and ease.

This is why PC gaming is not something I do.