So I was sitting down at my computer, trying to think of something to write about, and after 5 minutes of staring blankly at my wallpaper of a gnome chugging some Ragu, I had nothing. So I ask my new fiance, who is distracted with her Skyrim of course, who responds without hesitation: "Write about stinky farts!" Now this was only seconds after I had ripped one in her general vicinity, so I think her input was a bit... *erhem*... clouded
After telling her that she's being silly, I really started thinking about farts in video games, and how little this goldmine of humor is actually capitalized on in this form of artistic media. So I have gathered a treasure trove of childish goodness from the video game realm for you to enjoy.
I have provided a pic, video, and short blurb for each of the oxygen defilers on this list. Feel free to vote on which one is your favorite, or if there's someone i missed, throw that in the comments as well!
Gon from Tekken 3
Cute character, nasty habits. This guy was my favorite fighter to play as in Tekken 3; his moves were so cool, and the costume of him in the shell was super adorable! He makes the list because one of his harder to master, yet worth-it-for-that-once-in-a-while-hilarious-K.O. move where he does a backflip and farts on your opponents head for MASSIVE DAMAGE!
Chaos from Primal Rage
I unfortunately did not get to play this game much as a child, but I remember distinctly in one of my High School classes that there was this guy that I sat next to in computer class who was a huge fan of this game. He ranted and raved about the different characters, and one of the most memorable of the clan was Chaos and his gross chemical warfare. One of his attacks is a fart cloud that, if contact is made with the enemy, incapacitates them for a time.
Boogerman from... Boogerman
Platformer games are a genre I generally like, but the level design and player movement for this game made me gag for those reasons alone. However, Boogerman has a cult following for some reason, and therefore deserves a spot among the list. Aside from ridiculous characters, baddies, and levels filled with boogers, poo, and piss, the main character will actually let out an explosive fart if you leave him standing static for a period of time (after eating one of his own boogers of course). This game is gross...
Abe from Oddworld
Oh man, I wish the new addition to this series would come out soon. Such a great franchise, TOO great to be silent for the amount of time that it has. For those of you who haven't played anything from Abe's universe, the Oddworld games are full of childish fart-dick humor, as well as wonderful storylines, fantastic character growth, and just downright fun gameplay. The video I have provided for you above shows you just one of the ways a puzzle is solved using Abe's fancy flatulent.
Chicken Chaser from Fable 3
I know Fable has been getting a bad rap lately primarily due to its terrible spinoffs and less than stellar 3rd installment. Though, with that being said, there is still much to enjoy with Fable 3, even though it wasn't all it was meant to be. One of the main things that brought me a lot of entertainment was the emoticon actions you could make, one of which is a fart. In the right situations with the right people, you could actually grab someone's head and fart on their face. Pretty funny stuff.
Bo Rai Cho from Mortal Kombat
I grew up with all the old Mortal Kombat games (up through 4) so I have never heard of this guy before. But the second I saw his fatality, I knew I had to seek out a copy of this game just to execute this humiliating death upon one of my friends. If you haven't checked the video yet, do it. Such a horrible way to die...
Wario in Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Wario is just a mean, nasty, fat old Italian man who has never been shy about his bodily noises. Wario's appearance in SSBB wasn't as surprising, or even welcomed, as it probably should have been. He's a solid fighter in that game, I thoroughly enjoy running over my friends with a motorcylcle from nowhere, and then eating their stunned corpse to inflict even more damage. And THEN to add insult to injury (and then even more injury) you can fart them off the screen for an easy kill.
The Mighty Poo
Video here NSFW
And finally there's this
guy. Although he doesn't actually fart outright, the passive noises that his amorphous poo body produces is enough to be a part of this list. If you have virgin ears (or even eyes for that matter) don't click the link, there's some vulgar stuff in there. But it IS a pretty catchy song nonetheless.
Thanks for reading this really silly blog, I hope it brought a smile to your face. And again, if you have a favorite out of the group, say so! Or if there's anyone I missed, say that also!
Have a good night everybody. read