An interesting thing happened to me today at work. I had brought my laptop in to the very busy downtown Seattle sushi restaurant that I serve at to show my manager a shitty little game I programmed for my senior project in high school. The funny thing is, the manager that I brought it in to show it to didn't even show up today.
But before I move on, let me tell you a little bit about this game. For one, I am super proud of it. It is very simple, with barely better-than-placement-holder art, and it has a fun and addictive couple of gaming mechanics. I am also proud that I programmed this sucker in under a week. Now, I have to inform you that the week-long programming session was not by choice, I was extremely lazy and did not give a shit about school, but I had to come up with something, so I made the game and called it good (didn't even write a paper, and I still passed with an A through only my presentation).
I saved the game on a blank disc and kept it (this was 2007, i didn't have money for thumb drives, alright?) and in the many times that I moved from one place to another play musical roomates, I thought it had been mistaken as something else and tossed, because I had lost track of it. Fast forward to last week when my fiance and I finally moved into our own place (yes, THIS fiance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiZhFeDm2K8) and I'm going through and tossing CD's, I find the little bastard and go crazy with excitement.
I start telling all my fellow employees about it, and they honestly could have probably cared less (not too many gamers at my restaurant). But I decide to bring it in to work anyway to show my boss. It gets towards the last few hours of the night, and all the other servers except me are phased out (I closed). So it's slow enough for me to go grab my laptop and I set it up at the bar to show it to the manager on duty. He plays it for a minute and then has to go take care of a few things. I, too, am busy, so I don't see him leave.
Next thing I know, there's a small group crowded around my laptop of off-duty employees and customers alike checking it out, getting all excited, and just... having fun.
It was the most amazing feeling.
Like... guys... I wish I could truly share with you what I felt today.
This stupid simple game that I made 6 years ago. It doesn't even have original characters! I was using Pacman and the ghosts! My own art assets of course, but still!
These people sat there for the whole 3 remaining hours of my shift, trading off trying to beat each other's high scores. They were laughing, trash talking, and enjoying each other's company. I mean... I'm a grown ass man, and I teared up a bit at one point.
Ugh, it's just that, this is the kind of shit that attracted me to the art of video games to begin with. And I guess, just the fact that something I made straight up recreated what drove my passion in the first place, THROUGH A STUPID GAME I MADE IN HIGH SCHOOL is...
I'm 24 years old, and I've got the same disease many dumb people my age have where they can't commit to a career because they want to be the best at something right away. I even have the more severe case where I feel like I can do anything, which cramps me into a type of limbo where I can't choose what to spend my time and energy on developing in my skillset.
Well tonight changed that, and I couldn't be more excited.
Thanks for reading my dumb, drunk blog, I miss singing karaoke with you guys in capitol hill. Come back to Seattle.
I was sitting in the tub the other day (you know, doing tub stuff) and I was trying to figure out why so many people are into this whole "Let's Play" business. Both watching and creating.
Are people looking to these videos as a sort of walkthrough perhaps? Has gaming really devolved to the point where we need to watch someone play the game we spent $60 on before we "play" it ourselves?
Or is it the commentary? Can a person talking while playing a game really be entertaining enough to pull viewers in from day to day to watch his or her videos? Put on a charming enough accent and get really exciteable at key points and you've got a winning combo for subscribers?
And what of these ladies and gents who put the content together? Is their ego so very large that they feel like people would want to watch them play and hear their voice bantering on about how you can't seem to climb up a damn wall? Are they right in thinking this, somehow?
Or are they just bored and want to document their journey for masturbation purposes later?
I don't have the answers, but I do, indeed, want the answers.
What do you guys think? Why are these videos so damn popular? I just don't get it.
Hey fellow Dtoiders, I have this friend here who runs a pretty sweet online store filled with cool stuff. You may have seen him around at conventions and such. The store is called Sanshee, and they are having crazy sales for the holiday season on everything from their famous Pokemon badges, to loads of cleverly designed T-shirts.
They've got some pretty cool stuff, whether you want it for yourself or need a few more things for those nerdy friends of yours for the Holiday season. Either way, you should at least check it out!
Are these still a thing? Is it bad Dtoid etiquette to still post these? Well, with all these games coming out, I've felt a little behind. Upon further inspection, I am WAAAAY behind... so I'm putting this here. Any suggestions on order? Any games not worth playing/completing? Should I stop spending so much money? Whatever you wanna say, I'll take it.
Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance
Baten Kaitos Origins
Resident Evil CODE: Veronica
Resident Evil 4
Metroid Prime Trilogy
Metroid: Other M
The Last Story
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: THe Crystal Bearers *
Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo's Dungeon
Super Paper Mario
Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World
Little King's Story
Sin & Punishment: Star Successor
Super Mario Galaxy 2**
Donkey Kong Country Returns
Kirby's Epic Yarn**
Final Fantasy VII
Final Fantasy VIII
Final Fantasy IX
Devil May Cry 2
Devil May Cry 3
God of War
Castlevania Lament of Innocence
Castlevania Curse of Darkness
Shadow of the Colossus
Final Fantasy X
Final Fantasy XII
Kirby Mass Attack*
The World Ends with You*
Final Fantasy The 4 Heroes of Light*
Pokemon White 2*
Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon
Super Princess Peach
Dragon Quest IV
Dragon Quest V
Dragon Quest VI
Castlevania Order of Ecclesia
Professor Layton and the Curious Village**
Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box
Shin Megami Tensei Strange Journey
Knights in the Nightmare
Yoshi Island DS
Glory of Heracles
Golden Sun Dark Dawn
Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker 2
Final Fantasy XII Revenant Wings
Mario & Luigi Bowser's Inside Story
Paper Mario Sticker Star
Code of Princess
Tales of the Abyss
Fallout New Vegas**
Resident Evil 5
Resident Evil 6
Shadows of the Damnes**
Final Fantasy XIII-2
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
* = At least halfway through (prolly will restart) ** = close to end (i think)
So I was sitting down at my computer, trying to think of something to write about, and after 5 minutes of staring blankly at my wallpaper of a gnome chugging some Ragu, I had nothing. So I ask my new fiance, who is distracted with her Skyrim of course, who responds without hesitation: "Write about stinky farts!" Now this was only seconds after I had ripped one in her general vicinity, so I think her input was a bit... *erhem*... clouded.
After telling her that she's being silly, I really started thinking about farts in video games, and how little this goldmine of humor is actually capitalized on in this form of artistic media. So I have gathered a treasure trove of childish goodness from the video game realm for you to enjoy.
I have provided a pic, video, and short blurb for each of the oxygen defilers on this list. Feel free to vote on which one is your favorite, or if there's someone i missed, throw that in the comments as well!
Cute character, nasty habits. This guy was my favorite fighter to play as in Tekken 3; his moves were so cool, and the costume of him in the shell was super adorable! He makes the list because one of his harder to master, yet worth-it-for-that-once-in-a-while-hilarious-K.O. move where he does a backflip and farts on your opponents head for MASSIVE DAMAGE!
I unfortunately did not get to play this game much as a child, but I remember distinctly in one of my High School classes that there was this guy that I sat next to in computer class who was a huge fan of this game. He ranted and raved about the different characters, and one of the most memorable of the clan was Chaos and his gross chemical warfare. One of his attacks is a fart cloud that, if contact is made with the enemy, incapacitates them for a time.
Platformer games are a genre I generally like, but the level design and player movement for this game made me gag for those reasons alone. However, Boogerman has a cult following for some reason, and therefore deserves a spot among the list. Aside from ridiculous characters, baddies, and levels filled with boogers, poo, and piss, the main character will actually let out an explosive fart if you leave him standing static for a period of time (after eating one of his own boogers of course). This game is gross...
Oh man, I wish the new addition to this series would come out soon. Such a great franchise, TOO great to be silent for the amount of time that it has. For those of you who haven't played anything from Abe's universe, the Oddworld games are full of childish fart-dick humor, as well as wonderful storylines, fantastic character growth, and just downright fun gameplay. The video I have provided for you above shows you just one of the ways a puzzle is solved using Abe's fancy flatulent.
I know Fable has been getting a bad rap lately primarily due to its terrible spinoffs and less than stellar 3rd installment. Though, with that being said, there is still much to enjoy with Fable 3, even though it wasn't all it was meant to be. One of the main things that brought me a lot of entertainment was the emoticon actions you could make, one of which is a fart. In the right situations with the right people, you could actually grab someone's head and fart on their face. Pretty funny stuff.
I grew up with all the old Mortal Kombat games (up through 4) so I have never heard of this guy before. But the second I saw his fatality, I knew I had to seek out a copy of this game just to execute this humiliating death upon one of my friends. If you haven't checked the video yet, do it. Such a horrible way to die...
Wario is just a mean, nasty, fat old Italian man who has never been shy about his bodily noises. Wario's appearance in SSBB wasn't as surprising, or even welcomed, as it probably should have been. He's a solid fighter in that game, I thoroughly enjoy running over my friends with a motorcylcle from nowhere, and then eating their stunned corpse to inflict even more damage. And THEN to add insult to injury (and then even more injury) you can fart them off the screen for an easy kill.
And finally there's this guy. Although he doesn't actually fart outright, the passive noises that his amorphous poo body produces is enough to be a part of this list. If you have virgin ears (or even eyes for that matter) don't click the link, there's some vulgar stuff in there. But it IS a pretty catchy song nonetheless.
Thanks for reading this really silly blog, I hope it brought a smile to your face. And again, if you have a favorite out of the group, say so! Or if there's anyone I missed, say that also!
You know, I've actually been wanting to write about this game for some time now. I had bought it as sort of a gag purchase. You see, the local Game Crazy was having one of its midnight releases for the game Darkwatch (because the manager there was super stoked for it) and I had absolutely no interest in the title. So being the hilarious lad that I am, I had somehow gotten myself to the front of the line, and instead of buying Darkwatch, I bought the adorable game you see above. Comedy ensued.
I was oddly stoked to try it out when I got home, but I was in no way, shape, form, or position ready enough for what I have come to find out is the worlds greatest piece of software ever to grace the video game industry with its dainty little roller skates.
The intro video (seen here) really sets the scene with the peaceful inhabitants of earth chillin' out, maxin' and relaxin' all cool just eating cake and shit in the middle of the street. Normal stuff. But unbeknownst to them far off in space, a race of lego blocks forgot to hire an engineer, so their flagship goes haywire and makes a B line for the peaceful home of our friends. Once they get there, they waste absolutely no time finding a new mechanic. They come pooping out of their little spaceship and start beating the nonsense out any townie who is not a skilled foreman using their weapon of choice: empty wine bottles. So the game already has an interesting group of antagonists with a clear and valid motive, all laid out of you from the beginning.
We go forward a little bit, and we see Hello Kitty and Badtz-Maru not having any of this bullshit. They are prepared to kick some blocky, wooden ass. But just as they were having this surge of testosterone fueled feels of justice, HK almost gets her day rocked. If it weren't for her friend... uh... Ker... mit? That's not right... the stupid frog... one second...
*Switches to google*
Oh, it's "Kerokerokeroppi?" How the hell was I supposed to know that!?
Anyway, Keroppi (now a member of Starfleet as a transporter operator) beams Hello Kitty into a room of HIGH SCIENCE, equips her with some decked out skates, a tutu, and wand with a badass heart at the end of it, shows her the desired target, and lets her on her merry way. And you all know what that means... shit just got real.
Cut to the actual gameplay, and it's all about you rolling around, rescuing your friends, and beating the snot out of some block-blokes. Which is silly, because HK has a WAND, you'd think she'd have some kind of magic ability, or at least an AOE to use in the middle of a melee combo. But in all honesty, she doesn't need it, she's just so hardcore that she can smoke fools with a couple flaccid whacks from her fancy stick. As you progress and take down some of the most intense bosses you'll ever meet, you can unlock new threads to sport around town while you're saving your buds.
However, the end all, win all of this game is that when you complete the first play through, you unlock the ability to play as Badtz-Maru (or should I say BAMF-maru... you know what I'm sayin') which takes the game to a level of awesome I didn't even know existed.
Long story short, if you haven't played this game, you need to, because it will become a permanent piece of your collection, and more likely than not, a family heirloom. So do yourself a favor and Amazon.com this shiz right now.