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CannibalCalvin 's blog

2:34 AM on 08.20.2008

Did Valve pull a fast one on us?

So if you've been paying attention to the past few updates, you'll know that Valve has slipped in a few of the new weapons in their promos.

Did anyone else see this? Is this a glimpse of what's in store for the Soldier?

[embed]100400:13929[/embed]   read

10:35 PM on 08.11.2008

The Scouts Raging Horse Cock NSFW

Whats better than beating people to death with a dented aluminum baseball bat?

Beating beating people to death with a giant floppy horse dildo.

Seriously NSFW


Spotted on Kotaku   read

3:22 PM on 06.17.2008

Meet the Pyro's New Weapon!

So if you haven't already, go check out the "Meet the Sniper" vid.

Its Cash Money.

But if you look closely at the Pyro he decapitates, hes holding a strange new weapon.

Oh dang! Here comes the money shot!!!


A few seconds before he gets "lightened" theres a trail of smoke coming off it.

My panel of experts has come to the agreement that it is most likely a weighted projectile launcher, similar to that of a flare gun or blunderbuss.

We can only speculate as to what it fires, but our hopes are a short range napalm grenade that can bounce one or two times before exploding a small area into purifying flame!!!!!


Also, handy gif!


7:28 PM on 05.16.2008

Get Ready to Murder the Innocent - Friday Night Fights DTOID Community Server Style

Hey Guys! Once again its the glorious day of Fri. So to celebrate, we're gonna do our best to appease the blood god.

The DTOID Community Server will be hosting sessions of TF2 tonight, and this is your chance to get in on the action!

Our super nifty information
Internet Protocol Address:
Port Number: 27015

copy pasta!

And now... COMEDY!


All images done by CannibalCalvin, if I see them anywhere else I'll gut you like the brain dead jizz stain that you are. Love ya!   read

5:20 PM on 05.02.2008

Friday Night Fights Presents The Dtoid Communitys Spanking New TF2 Server

Hay Kids and criminals! Guess what!!! The Dtoid Community has a spanking new TF2 server

Thats right kats and kooks. An official unofficial Destructoid Community TF2 Server for the community maintained by the community!


Thats right! The server is open to anyone from the Dtoid Community, so if your a lurker, a forum poster, a vent mole, an IRC recluse, or even a casual commenter

Our super nifty information
Internet Protocol Address:
Port Number: 27015
Password: dtoid

And thats it! Just add a new favorite to your server list and bam!

Thats right! Have a good time playing and don't start any drama.

Our mods are not afraid to BAN troublemakers and griefers!

I'll see you There!!!   read

2:07 PM on 04.24.2008

Ignis Solus - The Day of a Pyro


I'm not really a fan of machinima, but every once in a while something catches my eye. Ignis Solus is really unique short film that follows a lonely and rather bored pyro. I have to say, my favorite part is the music and the sense of emptiness and haunting it instills.

One of the things that really struck me was that not only does it show off a really well developed cinematic technique; it shows just how polished and fine tuned the animations in Team Fortress 2 are. In the middle of a game its easy to over look the animations and I find it really refreshing to be able to soak them in without taking a rocket to the face.

Theres a HD version on the Lit Fuse Films site, and you can even download a rather large version.   read

6:17 PM on 04.20.2008

The Art of Throwing C4


Some guy blowing people up with C4!

Guess who's just posting a shitty youtube video with no other content? Thats right, CannibalCalvin.


11:26 PM on 03.24.2008

Its GameGoblins Birthday, so I'll make terrible videos if I want to...


Haps Burfdai GG!

Go drive a car!   read

7:33 PM on 02.21.2008

Games that Everyone Forgot: Oddworld Strangers Wrath


At the end of the original Xbox's life span I remember how all the hype was being drawn to the upcoming 360 and how developers were starting to pull away from the beloved Box and put their energies and money into the new console. The last games to come out for it were less than spectacular, mainly plug and chug franchises and mediocre movie tie-ins.

However, theres one game that stands out in my mind, one that came out at the worst possible time and fell victim to Dreamcast syndrome. Failing to capture the interest of the unwashed masses and falling into obscurity.

Oddworld: Strangers Wrath was a masterpiece. Thrown headfirst into the game you only know that the main protagonist is a bounty hunter named Stranger, rounding up outlaws in a wild west like wilderness, for the purpose of funding a rather expensive operation you are only told is needed for his survival. Several times in the game, a shift in the story alters how you play through the game, periodically broken up by some of the most beautifully rendered cut scenes on the box. All leading to an ending that rivals Portal in epicness.


Combining multiple elements of game play as well as a dynamic and fluid storyline that I have yet to see replicated. At its core its a basic FPS with a delectable twist, instead of guns Stranger prefers live ammunition. Literally shooting small animals and insects from his wrist mounted dual crossbow. These range from Fuzzles; a small furry ball with cartoony eyes and teeth that act as a stunning mine, to the Bolomite; a four legged spider you can use to ensnare bounties you collect in game. What SW was able to do just as well was implement the Third Person element into the game. At any time the player can choose to switch between first and third person perspective. While in Third, the player focuses on melee attacks and can heal by "Shaking". Theres no Health packs in SW, so the player must find a safe spot to stop and shake by holding down Y. This adds an interesting game mechanic and an unique twist on the regenerative health concept.

Theres quite a bit of traveling in SW and the only way to do it is on foot. While many games have proven that this is a tiresome and boring experience, SW avoids that. While running in Third person Stranger slowly picks up speed until he jumps forward and starts running in a feral cat like manner. This can be used to stun enemies by running head first into them and is an incredibly aesthetically pleasing experience.

The story and characters are what really make the game great. Ranging from large lizard like outlaws who's only intent is to kill you, to the small chicken like people of the towns, some of which have the greatest Yooper like accent I've heard in a video game. All through out the game, the combination of voice acting and character animation helps draw you in even more.

The sad reality is that this game isn't supported by the Xbox360s backwards compatibility. However if you still have your Xbox and you feel guilty about abandoning it for the 360 you can find it for $9.99 on amazon.

Quite honestly this was my favorite game on the Xbox, and since it seems that everyone else has forgotten this awesome game I felt I should recommend you picking it up. Check out the gallery for a few more screen shots.   read

8:43 PM on 01.31.2008

Smash Bros Secret, I can't believe you guys missed this...

How did you guys miss this.

You won't believe it when you see it.

Watch Pikachu.

[embed]67957:7501[/embed]   read

6:57 PM on 01.16.2008


Gotten bored waiting for Tomopop?

Now you can get ready for TOMOPOOP

[embed]65169:7030[/embed]   read

3:54 PM on 01.14.2008

TF2 Sentry Case Mod Makes Me Go OHH!

Seriously you guys, I have only had an erection this hard five times in my life, I'm punching holes in the drywall as we speak.

It seems that TiTON over at IRONMODS.COM has created the most awesomest case evar.


Its a giant replica of the Level 3 Sentry gun from Team Fortress 2. Complete with two real (inert) .308 M60 ammo belts. My favorite part is that the power supply is hidden within the rocket launcher. Its a fairly decent gaming rig to boot.

I just built a computer with my good friend Aertyr, and I'm kinda ashamed we didn't think to something like this.

Now he just needs to build a sapper and the fun will never end!


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