I'm warning you right now, this post is going to be laden with words that you know make you blush when you say them, let alone someone else. The word in question?

"Pussy".

There, I said it. Now that the formalities are out of the way.. can you believe they actually made an energy drink called "Pussy"?! I was floored by the very design, it's smooth white and swooped design, the black, pink and white colors that definitely aroused interest. Oh, did I mention that on the website.. there is an Oscar Wilde quote? Yes, here is what it says:

"There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that's not being talked about." - Oscar Wilde

Can you fucking believe that? They put "Pussy" and Oscar Fucking Wilde in the same damn arena. That's like putting Chris Crocker in a Monster Truck Rally. You just don't do that.

Anyways, the good people at.. well, "Pussy", decided to send me some of their beverage, so I might peruse it's flavors. Injected into this can were all sorts of vitamins, minerals and overall natural energy supplements that did indeed.. hype me up. It tasted quite good, surprisingly for something named "Pussy" and as I walked around my house with my "Pussy" in my hand.. I realized just where my life was headed. Terrible vagina jokes. Forever. Be that as it may though, it did give me a bit of a clear head and energy that I needed to bork through the sludge on World of Warcraft and two hours later.. I wasn't passed out while everyone screamed at me to "keep up". This time, I was wide awake and it was all thanks to the "Pussy" I had earlier.

Problem is, even telling your friends about it made me feel.. dirty. Ridiculous even. When they ask if they can get you anything while they're out and you hold up your girly white and pink can and proclaim.. "No thanks! I got me some Pussy!".. and you're not kidding, it kinda stings your soul.

Until every can of sweet, sweet "Pussy" energy drink was gone.. I endured it. Happily until it was but a memory. My friends though, my male ones, sigh with discontent knowing that the namesake for that precious Energy drink doesn't taste nearly as sweet and fizzy.

Look into it, guys (and girls) and get yourself some. Try it out. You'd be surprised at just how much "Pussy" can keep you up at night.

http://www.pussydrinks.com