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CaimDark's blog



CaimDark avatar 6:28 AM on 05.08.2014
How To Fix Nintendo

Just kidding! This is really just my "10 things about me blog" :)

1: I'm a fiercely private person.


pictured: not me.

I've been an active member of Dtoid for the past two years or so, but you probably don't know as much about me as you do about other active members. Mostly that's because you couldn't care less, but it doesn't help that I'm extremely protective of my privacy, perhaps to a fault. For years my Facebook profile didn't even have a picture, and now it has a grand total of one just so the people who know can know it's me. I also use little social media stuff, I just don't feel compelled to. I sometimes think about signing up for twitter to make communication with some Dtoiders easier and for the access it provides to some of my favorite developers, but I'm honestly afraid of that thing, it seems to fry people's brains. I'm not even joking.

As I become more engaged here with Dtoid, I'm making an effort to be a little more open, so consider this silly blog a part of that.

2: Destructoid is the first ever online community I've ever joined.

For years I just read the news at sites like IGN and made the odd comment, but never really felt like it was anything more than that. At first it was like that here as well, but slowly it became something more. I even started blogging, something I never thought I'd do, so I guess that says something about you people. Possibly something good. Maybe!

3: I am from Brazil.


I present you, Brazilian Portuguese! The caption reads: "I forgot to post on Facebook I was at the gym. I went to the gym for no reason.

The Dtoid community is overwhelmingly North American and to a lesser degree European, so I guess that's relevant information. Please don't be afraid. I may be a a third world savage, but I rarely eat people.

4: I've been studying Political Science in Norway since 2010

To be more precise, while my program officially began in 2010, I only actually started studying Political Science proper in 2011. That's because the University of Oslo has an interesting system for foreign students. All bachelors' degree are in Norwegian (spoiler alert: Norway's official language isn't English) and they are 99% meant for Norwegians only (shocking, I know), but they also welcome 60 international students a year, even those who don't know Norwegian. Then we spend one year learning the language, and take a proficiency test in the end. Those who pass then start the Bachelor's Degree, those who don't are literally sent packing. There are no second chances.

5: My brain is a cocktail of mental issues.


Stop being lazy and start running dude. You'd be out of that chair in no time if only you had willpower!

Well, that got depressing quickly. Sadly, it's true. I used to be a happy-go-lucky teen, then shortly after I turned 18 my brain started fucking with me and I've been saddled with a not-at-all-cool depression and a few other things since then. It's not fun. At all. On the bright side, I have an incredibly privileged life in most other aspects and have literally known nothing but support my entire life, so I'm definitely not complaining, even if sometimes that adds to my guilt of feeling like I'm wasting the blessed life I was given :(

6: I'm 30 and I still don't know what I want be when I grow up.

There are two things in my life that bring me genuine joy: my wife and videogames. Unfortunately, when it comes to careers, I don't have anything that matches that kind of passion. And I really should have a career passion! I mean, come on, sometimes it feels like I'm the only person in the world without a career passion. Not fair! I don't even have a Bachelor's Degree yet, though that will hopefully change next year. After all, we're all supposed to love working and have a job that is a core part of our identities and work way more than we really need because having a beach house we literally never go to earns us social points, and really, we're so conditioned to living like that we wouldn't know how to live any other way. Some even people kill themselves not long after they retire. Anyways, I'm still looking for that spark. Maybe that's why I travel so far and wide. I've been all over the place and currently I'm stationed in the North Pole. Still looking though. Any suggestions?

7: I found out that just playing videogames all the time is not enough.

Maybe I shouldn't say this at a time when so many are struggling with unemployment, but what the hell. If you bothered to come down to the C-blogs and read this, you're probably a nice person who won't judge me too much... right? :) Anyways, due to a combination of luck and the good sense not to ruin it, I am in the incredibly fortunate position of having a regular income without needing a regular job.

My father is a small business guy in the restaurant business, and for a time I also worked with him. Eventually, working together was threatening to strain our relationship, so we decided it was better to stop and preserve our father/son relationship.

Then something strange happened. I don't know why, but he gave me a stake in his restaurant to "get me started", enough for a small monthly income, no strings attached, and told me to do whatever I wanted with it.

Maybe he was crazy, maybe it was a terrible parenting decision, or maybe he just trusted me, but it worked out reasonably well. I may struggle with my depressive self and my inability to find my place in the world, but I was always financially responsible and terrified of living in poverty. So I saved as much money as possible, started dabbling in business and investments, and somehow managed to find a measure of success and grow the assets my father gave me. Now I have a reasonable middle class income and I can at least be proud that, in that aspect at least, I didn't waste my gifts.

As you can imagine, a depressed guy with few real interests beyond gaming and the financial means to do nothing but play videogames would be tempted to... do nothing but play videogames! And for a time I did just that.

It turns out it's not all it's cracked up to be. Of course, that freedom can be and is wonderful, but as much as I genuinely like videogames, they're just not enough. Life needs something else. Unfortunately, I have no idea what my something else is. Fortunately, I can keep looking! In fact I'm a bit of a wanderer, and I've looked for that "special something" all over the place, in Chile, in Oceania, in Europe, and for the past few years, Norway.

Maybe the answer is in Canada. I tried going there once but they apparently thought I was going to bomb innocent Canadians or steal innocent Canadians' jobs, so they denied my Visa. That's it! Canada is to blame for all my life's woes!



PS: you have no idea how hard I fought the urge to say the answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

8: I am fat

How cliché is that? I'm a fat and depressed gamer :(. Oh well, at least I don't live in a basement.

9: I speak five languages

If it seems like I'm bragging, I'll have you know that, well, I kinda am. But you'll let me, right? I've just put myself down, so I have a duty to balance the cosmos. Besides, if we can brag about videogame achievements, I can brag about speaking languages, goddamit!

My native language is Portuguese, and I also can speak Spanish, French, and Norwegian. I can also speak another language that I'll let you guess because I'm all about the mystery.

Videogames are great at helping me learn new languages, and it's no exaggeration to say I wouldn't speak most of these languages without them. Ever since I came to Norway learning this freaking language has been my priority, obviously, but I still want to learn a few more eventually. Prime candidates are German, Italian and Russian, I just think it's cool to be able to go to lots of different places and understand what's going on! Japanese would also be swell, not least because I'm a fan of the kinds of Japanese games that are rarely localized, but that's a language that looks like it demands far more commitment than I'd be prepared to give.

10: I rarely finish what I

Just kidding! That joke has been played 5000 times in these blogs, I know. So I guess I'll just finish this wall that became waaay bigger than I expected. I barely talked about videogame stuff life favorite games and consoles and whatnot, but we do that all the time on Dtoid, so I figured I'd go for something a little more personal and heartfelt.

Writing this turned out to somewhat cathartic and therapeutic, so thanks for inspiring me to do it, and I hope the two of you who made it to the end enjoyed reading it!

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