In a follow-up to my post on Pikmin as a metaphor for Slavery I decided to look into other videogame characters that have deeper motives that may be more or less unnoticed by the gaming public at large. The second character I will place beneath the microscope is no other than Sonic the Hedgehog.

The fact of the matter is that much like Olimar is a racist slave driving merchant, Sonic the Hedgehog is indeed an Eco-terrorist. “Sonic, a terrorist?” you may find yourself asking. Yes, yes he is. But before I go into explaining why Sonic is indeed an Eco-Terrorist I would like to explain what one is.



The FBI defines Eco-Terrorism as the use or threats of a criminal nature against people or property by environmentally oriented groups for enviro-political reasons aimed at an audience behind a target that is largely symbolic in nature. So basically, hippies and tree huggers doing bad things to stop global warming and all that nonsense Al Gore invented.

Sonic seems to have a track record for going after the Chaos Emeralds, but why? Perhaps it is because the emeralds give off energy to all living things. We can see in some of his adventures the emeralds have even been used for nuclear energy...a hot topic of debate in the environmental community. However, do you know what else is nuclear? That’s right. Nukes! And Terrorists want nukes! If Sonic wants a device capable of creating a nuclear weapon he is indeed a Terrorist. I could rest my case there, but there is more...



Not only does he spend the majority of his time getting around on foot instead of by car like any decent American doing their part to increase pollution, but when he does seldom drive it is in one of those damned fuel efficient hybrids. It is officially confirmed Sonic hates America. Instead of buying a nice, shiny Domestic car every year he decides to support foreign nations like Japan with their awful boxy, fuel-efficient toys. I know for a fact that Master Chief drives a HUMMER and eats his own bodyweight in prime rib every day, signs of a true patriot-thank you Microsoft...I bet Sonic is a vegetarian too- the sissy.

Anyway, aside from his liberal, tree-hugging lifestyle typical acts of Eco-terrorists that Sonic indulges in include...

Arson: deliberately and maliciously setting fire to structures

You need only watch this short video to see filmed evidence that Sonic the Hedgehog has, at least on one occasion, committed the crime of arson. He relishes in destroying property. I’m sorry we can’t all be as “Green” as you Sonic. We can’t all be drifters that live as we want in the wilderness without a care in the world.



Tree Spiking: hammering metal rods into tree trunks to discourage logging

I’ll admit that I got nothing, but I bet he’s done it.

The Release of Animals that are owned privately either by groups or individuals.

Fast forward to about 2 minutes in to see the Terrorism!



After encounters with bosses Sonic rushes forwards to large capsules that contain many animals owned by Dr. Robotnik. In a typical Eco-terrorist fashion much like that of the Animal Liberation Front, Sonic proceeds to free said animals from their cages in order to let them “return to their natural habitats”. To a lesser extent this can be seen any time Sonic defeats an enemy, one single creature is released from the destroyed piece of property.

These are lab animals rightfully owned by Dr. Robotnik. If the good Doctor did not do these experiments on these creatures we may never have the perfect, semi-cancer-free cosmetic products for all the young ladies these days. These creatures are not your average squirrels, rabbits and chickens but lab animals that have been experimented on and are no longer suitable to dwell in the eco-systems they or their ancestors once lived in. Need I remind you of a little film called 28 Days Later where a group of Animal Rights activists free a group of infected chimpanzees to horrifying results? Each time Sonic frees an animal he risks a zombie outbreak.

There is a reason why the US Government recognizes that Eco-Terrorism is the single largest threat to Domestic National Security: people like Sonic who are willing to risk the safety of us all in order to fulfil their wacko, liberal agendas and “save the environment”.