wha??

You're ruining the meme!

I don't feel anything for games anymore. I've been overcome by some sort of general malaise. Conversely, I have started reading again at a rate I abandoned years ago when I started gaming, a little bit more than a book a day. I'm sure I'll run out of intriguing books pretty soon though. For now, I'm done thinking about games. I need to cut myself off from the media in the hopes that I can regain my passion for gaming. I find my self playing TF2 just to pass the time, not enjoying it at all. Or just jacking the visuals up in everything until I'm sitting there practically drooling from sensory overload. I'm not finding anything in games the way I used to. I'll still play them, but there's no thought to it. I've learned too well to do thing mechanically the emotional investment has mostly disappeared. Shatter was sort of a last gasp in that It had an investment because I watched the scores at the bottom as I played, but it still couldn't hold me for very long.

I got really depressed when i went back and acquired all the games I played as a kid on the SNES and found very few of them fun. I got to the end of Super Metroid and said "meh." I didn't even bother finishing it. That's a major paradigm shift in my value system for gaming.

I've started trying to write about it several times thinking it would help, but it hasn't. I figured this way a nice, simple way to disconnect. I can get lost in the shuffle. I'm quite busy this semester anyways and might be leaving the country in the spring. So yeah. If I start caring again I'll start writing again, but as of now gaming exists for me only as a way to produce some endorphins, and it's just not enough anymore.

@CWal: Remember, games never expire. If in the future you feel that need, you can always game and fulfill said need. ...if you didn't sell your games, that is. =P

Take care and good luck with your life. I know I'm not as into games as I used to, but I'm not to your point of malaise yet. Well, saying "yet" implies I will reach this end myself, but hey, who knows? All the same, good luck and enjoy reading.

Go go Brave New World!

I actually sort of hope that I get to the point that you currently are soon. I'm a writer, and I love to read, but lately things have been so disheartening in my life that I so often find myself suckling at the teat of the mindless diversion of videogames, embarrassed that my main goal at this point seems hinge on getting home as quickly as possible to languish in the "escape" that games provide, only to do the whole thing over again the next day.

Oh well, maybe I'll try to start again with something easy, like Gilgamesh, then work my way back to Dostoevsky.

games love you!

<3<3<3<3<3