As I was browsing through the c-blogs the other day, I've noticed that Mr. Destructoid has something interesting to say to me:



Wuut!? I rulez! said the little Chaz in my head. And although never before have I intended to play this game, the next thing I found myself doing was turning the 360 on and spending my last M$ points on Ikaruga.

Damn you Mr. Destructoid and your subliminal persuasion techniques too!

Anyways.
During the DL process I've scavenged through my closet in order to find my favorite blindfold, then went to the kitchen (blindfold on - cozz I rulez) got me a cool beer and finally sat down to do some Ikaruging.
Took ma a while to get through them menus. Had to set all the gimmicks right, difficulty hard, number of respawns, adjust them controls, set pilots hairdo, choose a ship, watch tutorials (yes that was my firs ever contact with the title) etc. etc. Finally I was ready.
Started the first level, which ended quite fast with a chapter one sign... and afterwards I was RAPED !

I've asked our fellow rapist SNAKE to help me with the short reenactment



And I'm not talking about your average every day rape. I'm talking about brutal, sand-paper condom, ass to the mouth sechs... Salt spank finish.

Needles to say, I wasn't prepared for this (since Mr Destructoid here told me that I rule)and was quite surprised to be violated so swiftly.
This game literally hates you and wants to show you that in all possible ways. But you know what? That's what makes it fun. Well not the whole rape part maybe, but the fact that this game is demanding. It provides a decent challenge, it makes you think fast and forces you to contrive at the speed of lightning. Concept of the ships polarity ads a nice tactical depth to the game turning it from a simple "button-mash-shoot_all-avoid_rest" kind of thing, into much deeper "button-mash-shoot_all_in_threesomes-polarize-catch_some-avoid_rest" experience. Looks and sounds great too.

All in all I'm quite satisfied with the purchase of Ikaruga, so to be honest I should thank Mr. Destructoid for louring me into this. So uh don't worry about the title :)


P.S.
I nearly threw up whilst watching this. That's some ill skillz I tell you...