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6:28 AM on 04.24.2008

I'ma gonna sue your ass Mr. Destructoid (aka. my Ikaruga impressions)

As I was browsing through the c-blogs the other day, I've noticed that Mr. Destructoid has something interesting to say to me:

Wuut!? I rulez! said the little Chaz in my head. And although never before have I intended to play this game, the next thing I found myself doing was turning the 360 on and spending my last M$ points on Ikaruga.

Damn you Mr. Destructoid and your subliminal persuasion techniques too!

During the DL process I've scavenged through my closet in order to find my favorite blindfold, then went to the kitchen (blindfold on - cozz I rulez) got me a cool beer and finally sat down to do some Ikaruging.
Took ma a while to get through them menus. Had to set all the gimmicks right, difficulty hard, number of respawns, adjust them controls, set pilots hairdo, choose a ship, watch tutorials (yes that was my firs ever contact with the title) etc. etc. Finally I was ready.
Started the first level, which ended quite fast with a chapter one sign... and afterwards I was RAPED !

I've asked our fellow rapist SNAKE to help me with the short reenactment

And I'm not talking about your average every day rape. I'm talking about brutal, sand-paper condom, ass to the mouth sechs... Salt spank finish.

Needles to say, I wasn't prepared for this (since Mr Destructoid here told me that I rule)and was quite surprised to be violated so swiftly.
This game literally hates you and wants to show you that in all possible ways. But you know what? That's what makes it fun. Well not the whole rape part maybe, but the fact that this game is demanding. It provides a decent challenge, it makes you think fast and forces you to contrive at the speed of lightning. Concept of the ships polarity ads a nice tactical depth to the game turning it from a simple "button-mash-shoot_all-avoid_rest" kind of thing, into much deeper "button-mash-shoot_all_in_threesomes-polarize-catch_some-avoid_rest" experience. Looks and sounds great too.

All in all I'm quite satisfied with the purchase of Ikaruga, so to be honest I should thank Mr. Destructoid for louring me into this. So uh don't worry about the title :)

I nearly threw up whilst watching this. That's some ill skillz I tell you...   read

4:39 AM on 04.17.2008

3rd blawg entry. Introduction time Ö. Wuuuut!?

Greetings and salutations fellow D-Toiders! This is my third blog entry so I thought that itís high time to introduce myself :o)

So uh my nameís Chris, Iíve been roaming these gaming hinterlands for 24 years now. Iíve started my journey with Pegasus console (check earlier posts for details), Sega Megadrive afterwards, than had my firs desktop Personal Computer. And have been pc gaming until a century later Ė 2001 to be exact. Canít remember much from the 8 bit and 16 bit era, but those memories return is sudden flashbacks and are filled with joy and nostalgia (yes Iíve been playing Lost Odyssey a lot recently but weíll get to that point later).

2001 brought a change in my gaming habits. First of all I bought a PS2 and abandoned PC for goodÖ well not totally for good. Free porn is still free porn, right?

Favorite PS2 titles:
- God of War (both)
- Guitar Hero II
- Tekken 4
- THPS 3
- Fight Night 2
- Soul Calibur III
- Burnout: Takedown & Revenge
- Well to be honest, there are so many that I just could go on with the list for a long time, so let us just say that I really love my PS2.

Time flew by and finally Iíve decided to go next gen and bought me a nice, matt black xbox 360. Twas November, the year of 2007. Since then Iím catching up with all the fun stuff that Iíve missed so far. Got around Gears of War, Dead Rising (combined with Zombie Survival guide by Max Brooks), Crackdown (How come no one protested about this game? I mean Black/Asian/Mauritanian/Gimp Masked person on a racist killing spree. Címon RE5 is all about racism, so why not this game?), Assassins Creed (now that was disappointing), skate (OMG that game is pure perfection!), Fable (oldie but a goldie) and Lost Odyssey (ran out of happy pills even before got to the first discs end, damn now that gameís sad. But in a positive way :] It makes the emo inside of me wail with satisfaction).

How I ended up on Destructoid? Hereís a clue:


Iím one of those Gertsmann-gate victims that had fled cash-whores ranks. How clichť. Iíve been lurking for some time now, sparsely commenting other c-blogs. Iíve even managed to produce two entries of my own. So little due the constant lack of time (work, mastersí degree in the making, family, girlfriend, friends and such).

So as I finish this lengthy introduction Iíd like to say to all of Destructoid community:

Hello :]


Try and pronounce my nickname :>   read

7:13 AM on 02.18.2008

Kunio-Kunís Soccer League

I've been cleaning the closet the other day and came across my old Pegasus controller (the console itself died a long while ago). What's a Pegasus you ask? Well since I was born in Poland in 1980s' (or to be specific in 1983) I could benefit all the glory and grace of Communism. In those days we didn't have NES but its cheap clone:

It was manufactured in USSR and sold as state of the art eastern invention... but that's a topic for different story. Anyways, as I was scavenging the closet and found the controller along with Kunio-Kunís Soccer League cartridge few thoughts struck me:

1. I miss my Pegasus (sob).
2. Iím allergic to dustÖ
3. Kunio-Kunís Soccer League owns all the other soccer games eva!!
4. My dog ate my favorite pumps.

Aside from points 2 and 4 I wanted to turn your attention to THE BEST SOCCER GAME EVA:

Kunio-Kunís Soccer League aka GOAL 3.

Damn, I can still remember long hours spent on playing this tittle almost to the death. Many teams to choose from, each witch their own special abilities , super shots and stuff. The graphics were decent

but one thing that I remember the best was top notch music!
Besides, what can beat the sheer pleasure of unloading a massive supper shot in the foes face... eee ... no pun intended you porn pervs!
There were several fields to choose from, each affected by weather (remember sinking in mud, or those unsavable shots stopped by puddles?) Damn! I really mis my Pegasus...

What are Your thoughts on that title? Have you played it, or any other with those characters (can't remember the company but they were into all sort of wacky sports)?

The screen shots come from (unless you speak polish don't bother), and the pegasus photo is from wiki. Cheers.   read

8:41 AM on 02.11.2008

SSX or SSX on Tour or maybe... ?

OK, so I've just came back from my leave and I have to tell you one thing... SNOWBOARDING ROCKZZZZzzzzz...!

Well OK, it's painful and unforgiving when you make a mistake, first three days on board will probably be the worst days in your entire life, but after you get through them you'll realize how enjoyable and pleasing this sport can be. Shredding (yeah right, more like striving for survival with my current experience & skills) down the hill, wind whooshing in your ears, nature all around (trees, squirrels and stuff all laughing with you and waving as you glide by, Disney like). So where do games fit into all of this? Simple I just want to make the felling last, so I was wondering which of them computer games to pick up?

I was considering SSX 3 or SSX on Tour but can't make my mind up. Or are there any other titles worth checking out, better than those above?
I'd really appreciate your help.

Oh yes and also first post, so... uh hi everybody :]   read

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