This past Friday I had the opportunity to go out on one of those “dates” where you go to the local Chuck E. Cheese’s and play games, step on children, and then when prizes. My stunning date and I arrived and got down with some half-pepperoni/half-BBQ chicken pizza (and by got down I mean have sex with. Those children will remember me forever).

Before arriving I knew that each game cost only 1 token to play. I figured this was too good to be true, and thought all the games were probably Whack-a-Titty or whatever they play these days. Anyways, there were actually some decent arcade games to be had. I even beat a black guy in the basketball free throw shooting game. He was with his black guy friend and I think he was embarrassed. I’m a crazy gringo for sure.

That would have been the highlight of my night until I saw the most beautiful arcade sight I have ever seen.



Mario Kart Arcade Grand Prix! I had heard about it but thought it was only in Japan and not in a Chuck E. Cheese in NC. Needless to say I lost it for about 5 seconds. And that’s not sarcasm my jaw literally dropped and I pointed at the machine and said “ohh! Look!!” I mean, what else can you say? Then I realized something else. “All Games are 1 Token.”

So yeah, my date and I played three straight games of it and if you’ve never had the pleasure – this game is all sorts of rock. It feels exactly like a Mario Kart Arcade game. The level design still resembles the goofy tracks of the Mario world, but this game is a little bit more grown-up I guess I would say.



Items randomly selected for the players before the race meaning when you roll over a box you know you will be getting one of three items. This is fantastic for when you are in first and not getting banana peels constantly. Every item I saw was new too. The best is a cream pie that you throw behind you. I hit my date with one and could see her screen was completely covered. Shenanigans! The game also uses a camera to take your picture before the race. This has to be one of the funniest video game experiences I have had. She passed me one time and was playing as Toad, so her avatar pops up and it’s her face with a mushroom head.

Maybe it was just the shock of seeing the game but I was all kinds of giddy while playing.

Mario Kart Arcade definitely gets 5 stars and a bag of Andy Capp Hot Fries.