Hey there, space cats! Part two of my "ten things you didn't know" list begins now. If you missed the first half, check it out here
. Kept you waiting, huh? Excuse me while I smoke like a chimney and put on an eyepatch.
6. I do my best to eliminate any traces of a Southern accent from my voice because I feel others think it's "expected" of me, living in Kentucky, but I like to slip in weird pronunciations for fun.
I live in Louisville, and yet people still ask me if we run around barefoot here, which makes me want to gouge my own eyes out. It's difficult to maintain a neutral accent having grown up here, but I make a valiant effort to disguise and completely eradicate any traces of a Southern dialect from my voice when it comes to professional communication. Until I get mad. I've been told I sound a little twangy when I get mad. And then you have me when I'm speaking normally or making fun my boyfriend, who is decidedly more Southern than me. I say "hayle" a lot, but then that might just stem from my love of this Whitest Kids U'Know sketch
. Or Panty from Panty and Stocking
. At any rate, I try my best to sound completely regionless, but I feel like it's a lost cause. Someday. When I learn German like I plan to do, maybe I can get rid of it then. Also, Bette Davis. Get some.
7. I was almost a contestant on The Tester.
Almost, as in I had to go through a couple different interviews with casting directors to be offered a spot, but I had a feeling I was going to be selected and decided to cut it short when I realized what kind of treatment female cast members were obviously going to be subjected to. To make a long story short, I declined further interviewing rounds. After campaigning for a few months, getting friends to vote for me, and recruiting others to get me on the show via popular vote (which Egoraptor ended up winning) I received a call from the casting director to set up an interview via webcam, during which I was asked about my breast size, "drama," and how people react to my penchant for "wild" accessories "living in the South." I knew I was about to become a stereotype, and while I played nice for the camera, I came out of the entire situation extremely offended by the casting director's unprofessional actions. It's been long enough since the incident that I feel like I can finally talk about it now and I may one day write a piece on it, but for now just know that I declined to maintain my integrity.
Why would I even consider such a thing? Back then, you have to realize I was looking for a break in the industry. I was hoping that someone, anyone would see me and my passion to write about games or that a testing job would catapult me into somehow affording a place in California so I could finally snap up the position of my dreams. It might have been cool for one fleeting moment to get on TV and add it to my resume, but in the end I realized it was dumb all along, and I really couldn't give a fuck less about testing video games. Never mind the fact that nothing about that show actually has anything to do with testing video games.
8. I have nine tattoos and I'm looking to get a whole lot more.
I divulged this on the forums, but I thought I would share with the FP crowd. I've got the sacrificial brand from Berserk
on my upper left arm and Um Jammer Lammy
on my right inner forearm. Purple Tentacle from Day of the Tentacle
is on my left upper arm, and on my right upper arm I've got "Human After All," in reference to Daft Punk. My upper left thigh reads "Never Knows Best" and my right upper thigh has the Atomsk symbol, both from FLCL
. My left ankle is home to a moogle tattoo, while my right ankle and calf have the renegade star from Mass Effect
and a small cleaver. I need more. That's not enough. I can't wait to get my "Born to Win" tattoo. EXCITE. Also, for some reason the image is wide and it's not showing up all the way in this picture. Just ask me if you want to see the rest.
9. I'd love to try my hand at being a voice actress.
It's not that I think I have a good or unique voice or anything, or that I'm a good actress. I just think I could do a better job than some of the people they scrape from the bottom of the barrel or just ask to do voices because they're hanging around in the general vicinity of a microphone. I don't care what it is: low-budget indie games, hentai, cartoons, or what. I just want to land one role a la Cristina Vee and see my name in the credits. The only problem is I don't know where to find these types of gigs. I live in Kentucky as previously stated, which isn't exactly a mecca for voice acting. I don't have the money to fly around going to auditions and all that mess, and I don't have the time or funds for voice lessons. I just wanna wing it and do my best "LEON!" like Ashley from RE4
and see if I manage to land a role. But seriously. This is part of my bucket list, and I hope one day to see it come true.
10. I love anything tacky, gaudy, and loud -- especially clothes and accessories.
This is something I wear on a regular basis. I love huge necklaces, ugly earrings, colorful wigs and colorful hair, NES purses, Dreamcast backpacks, neon makeup, and lots of glitter. I'm embarrassing to walk around with. One day we'll meet in person, and you'll either be offended by how tacky I am or smiling like an idiot, because I'm gonna give you a big ol' "I'm-excited-to-be-at-Destructoid" hug, and all is going to be right with the world, God's in his heaven, I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes."
Also: Corgis are to Dale as Joshua Homme is to Brittany.
Brittany Stormborn of House Destructoid, Queen of the Weeaboos and the First Otaku, Khaleesi of the Great Plains, Breaker of Bust A Groove 2
Jewel Cases, and Mother of Niche/Rare Games