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Meet the destructoid Team >>   Brittany Vincent
Brittany Vincent 's blog
★ destructoid | Associate Editor ★
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Can't play witcha, I been busy workin', baby.

Brittany Vincent is an accomplished video game and freelance entertainment writer whose work has been featured in esteemed publications and online venues like, Mashable, Joystiq, Complex, IGN, GamesRadar, VG247, Kotaku, Tom's Guide, Nerdist, TechRadar, The Escapist, Gamezebo, GameSpot, and more. She’s been writing professionally for eight years and enjoys combining her lifelong love of gaming and extensive video game knowledge with her passion for the written word.

She also enjoys writing for horror publications like Rue Morgue, Bloody Disgusting, and Dread Central. Over the past few years, she’s also worked with PR representatives to build relationships and obtain review products for her work, having managed her own gaming website and small teams to attend video game conventions such as PAX East in 2010 and E3 in 2011. In addition, she was the community manager at Japanator from 2013-2014.

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I usually try and keep up with the trends in the C-blogs, because there are some really awesome ideas and blog series that I want to participate in, but to be honest sometimes I forget about them. That is, as the Muses sang, the gospel truth. Or I'm so buried in other projects that there just isn't enough time in the day to actually interact or write about stuff that's not games, anime, or tech. I know a few of you have been all "Yo Brittany, where the hell's that fetish blog at?" If this were fifth grade, I might have said "Up your butt and around the corner." But now I'm 25 and maybe 2% more mature, so the answer has transformed into "right here."

Except I don't think it's in good taste to put all of that stuff in the open. So what I've done instead is recommend several pieces of entertainment (including literature) that I encourage you to check out for a look into the things I'm into. We don't have to get any more detailed than that. I'm a classy lady, you know. I promise you'll get all you need to know from this blog, but for those who will undoubtedly ask, unlike Heisenberg I'm not the one who knocks. I'm the one who opens the door, if you will.

First on the list is Saya no Uta, my favorite visual novel of all time. It's available for purchase online as a translated download, and I highly suggest playing through it to see all the routes you can take for several different endings. That, or find it on YouTube and watch it. Make sure you keep the sound up for the best experience possible.

Saya no Uta is the ultimate exercise in Lovecraftian horror you can find, save for actually sitting down with some of Lovecraft's works or perhaps playing Call of Cthulhu. Featuring a mindbending dilemma where the protagonist's perception is shifted so that, bizarrely, he only sees grotesque imagery in everyday situations, the novel is disturbing beyond reason in so many aspects, and it's delicious.

Beautiful women are now foul beasts with meaty appendages reeking of offensive stenches. Delicious food is now rancid and disgusting. Most of all he's no longer able to communicate effectively with the outside world as their words now sound foreign and unwelcoming. He's alone, locked in his own mind in this new world, except for a lone girl who still appears as nubile and human as can be.

Not even a third through the story Saya no Uta kicks over into mindscrew territory with a chilling soundtrack and imagery to complete the package. Equal parts sexual thriller and grotesque imagery, Saya no Uta seeks to crawl directly underneath your skin and make its home there. And it's a ride I love to take over and over again.

Next up is The Story of O, which predates the literary abortion that is Fifty Shades of Grey ("Holy crap!") by several, several years. It also doesn't herald Mommy's Boy Christian Grey as the second coming of the BDSM Jesus for Housewives, but that's to be expected given its status as a literary classic. I won't go into specifics with the story so as not to spoil its several steamy scenes, but it pefectly encapsulates the kind of ideas I often fixate on without pulling any punches.

It's got a lot in common in some respects with Salo, another of my favorite films, but it's a much more reserved property that's worth reading if you've got some time on your hands and want a look into the universe it sets up and paints so lovingly. I'd suggest going from there to 100 Strokes of the Brush Before Bed, or for a look at one of my earliest fixations Fencer of Minerva. Fencer of Minerva was a life-changing viewing experience for me, so don't harp too much on how awful the animation probably is by today's standards.

If you're still interested in exploring the worlds established in those films and books, I'd also recommend The Pet, Blue Velvet (but only for a few short instances, else then we delve into my David Lynch fixation, which is another blog entirely). Also see The Piano Teacher, The Night Porter, and Lies for other exemplary pieces of cinema that explore similar themes. Also throw in Mai-chan's Daily Life, manga in which you might recognize a specific scene from one of the internet's oldest memes.

Honestly, I can't think of ten actual examples of different fetishes to speak on, as there are only really a couple that I really own, as in experimenting with them in my day-to-day life and looking to establish permanency, rules, etc. But hey, here you are. Hope I didn't disappoint! Oh, and check out the Gor novels.


Once upon a time, I wrote a horrific rap tune about myself and used a lot of awful nerd clichés. I thought it'd be fun to do a dramatic reading of them.

​​I need my own theme 'cause I'm a catastrophe
So frak what you heard
You ain't seen the last of me
Did I say ain't?
Forgive my bad grammar
The name's Molotov
The O-G Um Jammer
Just like Lammy, tattoo up on my arm
Guys try to holla, no XP in their Charm
I conquer all Knives, can't match my Ramona
Bob-omb trynna step to me
K.O. I'ma own her

Eroguro electroma
Technologic Tachikoma
Got you scared, got you cryin' out "expecto patronum"

Makin' mad stacks, writin' up a fire
Work as hard as me?
I gotta call you a liar
I'm straight hustlin' but level 1 at people
You call me lone wolf
I just pick up my needler

Sacrifice my social life
Friends I be scarin' 'em
I play the villain but feel like the tragic heroine
Okay, rewind that
I gotta make amends
This is my own theme song and I've got tons of friends
I'm ballin' every night
Haters don't pick a fight

Say my name.
You're goddamn right. 

Wanna get in on this? Send me your amateur rap lyrics and I'll record yours as well. Consider it a gift from me to you. And if you wanna put a beat to these and sell me on it, well, you go girl!

OH, AND NO OBJECTIONABLE WORDS. You know what they are.


Brittany Stormborn of House Destructoid, Queen of the Weeaboos and the First Otaku, Khaleesi of the Great Plains, Breaker of Bust A Groove 2 Jewel Cases, and Mother of Niche/Rare Games


Hi, Destructoid community. I'm working on some projects I want to share with you all soon, but now's not the time. 

I'm in the middle of finalizing one project, and I thought I had a name, but it turns out it's actually taken by an internet celebrity of sorts and that's disappointing. I have another idea as well, but I can't say anything or announce anything concrete. I've been trying to stretch my legs and work on some things that are out of the ordinary or out of my comfort zone though, like working in different mediums and doing new things. So hopefully this year you'll see some new stuff and maybe more of me on the front page, with some new ideas.

I'm reviewing a few games right now, like Citizens of Earth, and you can see that on Destructoid this coming week, as well as my thoughts on the Saints Row IV expansion Gat out of Hell. Elsewhere, I'm going to be working on an awesome new project and I appeared in Popular Science last month, if you haven't seen the piece already! I'm also going to be speaking to a couple nerd-centric celebrities, so don't look, just keep your eyes peeled.

All that and more on the next episode of Brittany Ball Z. Oh, and I recorded this song below all dramatically as a joke, kek.


Brittany Stormborn of House Destructoid, Queen of the Weeaboos and the First Otaku, Khaleesi of the Great Plains, Breaker of Bust A Groove 2 Jewel Cases, and Mother of Niche/Rare Games


I will play nearly any video game on any console. As long as I can get a copy, I'm going to make it work. Because there are so many to wade through, I'm starting or stopping games all the time.

I'm often faced with situations where I find myself unable to progress in any of the games I've started up, whether it's due to a bump in the road or the my overwhelming backlog. I know I'm not alone, either. Sometimes, no matter what you do, or how often you try, you just can't quite get past a certain spot in what you're playing.

The first few footholds were easy to navigate, but you have found yourself at a point that you just can't quite get out of. Welcome to the gamer's plateau.

Right now, I'm playing a real cluster of games. Yeah, yeah, I know. I try to do too much instead of focusing on one. I'm wading through Persona Q: Shadow of the Labyrinth, Dragon Age: Inquisition, and beginning several others that I'm going to need to complete for review. Thankfully, those are smooth sailing at the moment. But I often think back to one summer where it seemed as though I just couldn't make any progress, no matter what I did.

It was a sweltering day during the middle of a windstorm. I couldn't kill the final boss of Final Fantasy III because I refused to level up sufficiently. Later than month I lost my way in Dead Rising's Paradise Plaza before I could get to the scoop point. For the life of me, I couldn't win the races that Brucie rode with me on in Grand Theft Auto IV. It wasn't a great month, especially since I was trying to power through games I hadn't completed yet back then. 

What's my solution? I remember putting them all aside and focusing on other games and other areas of my day. All the while I planned on how I would make my triumphant return, because as we all know, if you leave something problematic to fester for a few days or weeks, your return is almost always successful. It's a phenomena that I don't quite understand, but it is certainly real. However, real as it is, it's not always practical. Who wants to take a vacation from a game they bought last week? If I was horrible at something two weeks before, why should I pass the trial with flying colors now?

I can only surmise that a little time heals everything--from relationships to game overs. I don't always have time to wait though, in the case of electronic entertainment. I want to make progress now, not later. So what can I do? Lucky for me, there are a few different ways to make it over this bump in the road. They may not always work, but they will at least ease the frustration a bit. With that said, I've compiled a list of things to try when you feel like you just can't go any further. No, suicide is not one of them. And sure, they may sound like common sense, but in a world where rage quitting is our go-to defense, someone's got to talk some sense into players.

Hit up a guide online, of course

Contrary to popular belief, using a guide or a walkthrough will not make you less of a gamer. I know, I know. It may come as a shock. This may well be the most obvious bullet on my list, but it really is the best thing to help if you need instant feedback and direction. It does have its drawbacks. It can't play the game for you, so it's up to you to actually put an author's instructions to good use. I can promise you that you're not going to be shunned by your friends. Why do they have to know anyway? Honestly, who finds every single Dalmatian in Kingdom Hearts just by exploring? Okay, someone did. But if you're not all about that life, hit up a guide. Or blaze a trail and make one and vet out the frustration of being lost. Either way, you win. 


Sometimes, nothing works wonders for a roadblock in your game than a phone call. Somehow not paying attention can be the best solution. Call up a friend and complain about your dilemma. If you're lucky, they'll have a really great experience to share with you while you divide your attention between them and the boss you've failed to defeat 399459345 times (coughcoughCloudofDarknesscough). After concentrating for so long on the perfect button combination or strategy to overcome whatever you're facing, sometimes a little absentmindedness will pay off. It might just be a fluke, but sometimes you're just willing to either accept any kind of victory or throw in the towel. So go ahead, call your grandmother and fill her in on what's been going on in your life. Great way to connect and get past whatever you can't conquer, am I right?

Enlist some help.

I am horrible at sports games. Anytime I have to play anything with a section even remotely resembling sports, after a few attempts (if it isn't horrendously boring) I'll curse my own life. My father used to love to blaze through these sections with me when we would game together. He enjoys wallowing in the wide world of athletics, especially television game coverage and sports of the virtual variety. It's perfectly fine to hand over the controller to a brother, a sister, a friend, or a family member. You're in a safe place here. We're not going to tell, I promise. Would you rather stay in your slump or actually see the ending of whatever you're playing? Yeah. I thought so.  

If applicable, practice.

Okay, so maybe you really suck at Geometry Wars. The only way you're going to get better is through playing it over and over until you can figure out how to stay alive until after 100,000 because those little teal diamonds always get me you. To put it simply, if you can do it over and over, then do it. At the very least you're going to be super well-versed in this area of the game. So when anyone asks you about such-and-such area, you can puff out your chest. You know, you can be all SUPER SRS PRO. Right? That's what we all want, secretly.  That, and to be able to look down on others who enjoy one type of entertainment when others don't. 

After you've tried all the aforementioned methods and still find that there's no possible way you're going to vanquish the insurmountable task laid out in front of you, then you can always give up. Give up and never see what happens after Aerith exits your party. That's fine. Let Niko rot in Liberty City. No one's going to judge you for it. All sarcasm aside, we here at Destructoid believe in you. You'll get there. Promise. 


Brittany Stormborn of House Destructoid, Queen of the Weeaboos and the First Otaku, Khaleesi of the Great Plains, Breaker of Bust A Groove 2 Jewel Cases, and Mother of Niche/Rare Games

Photo Photo Photo

I first met Link when I was a young girl, but it wasn’t until a few years ago when our friendship truly began to blossom. In the dim glow of my bedroom, I’d embark on some of the most fantastical journeys with the flaxen-haired hero, ranging from the important missions that would define him as the years marched on to the lackadaisical strolls through colorful lands straight out of a cartoon. Though he was silent, withdrawn, and in many ways lacking the maturity he would find in life during his later years, I found a kindred spirit in this young man who, despite our various differences, grew to mean so much more to me than many of the the relationships I had built in my waking life.

Riding through the countryside together, discussing everything from our plans in life to shared obsessions, I grew to know Link as well as myself: his strengths, his weaknesses, and even his mannerisms. The pained expressions that would cross his face when met with a challenge he thought he may not be able to overcome, the way he’d smile shyly and give me the most earnest expression you could ever dream of was priceless. When Ganon threatened all that was dear to us, we formed a common bond to defend our beloved land. We slept beneath the calming shade of the Deku tree at the edge of the world, brought rain to endless plains, and turned back time together. During our 3 AM jaunts to keep Termina from facing its horrific end and intimate discussions we grew ever closer, growing older, and sometimes falling away from each other when spirits of old and even animalistic urges consumed us both. When the howl of a wolf kept us apart, I was ready to return to his side once he touched the sky. And there, he truly shined. He became the hero I knew he had always been.

Even though he told me he’d always protect me, there was one he'd die for. She changed in appearance over the years, though she retained the same vibe and personality -- the idea of a Princess Zelda — an elegant, youthful, effervescent matriarch with flowing, regal garb and the noblest of intentions. But their relationship was always rocky, with the princess being stolen away so often by forces who wished to manipulate and terrorize her. And from all of Link’s complaints about having to recover her and preserve her safety, one wonders why such a gallant and dogged defender would stay in a relationship with someone he is so readily willing to speak ill of. But as I stood by and watched, a witness to his exploits, I figured it out. The snarl etched across his face with every “Excuuuuuse me, princess!” was one of playful sarcasm that any bystander could decipher as glowing, caring, loving — despite his insistence over and over (amidst Navi’s cries to the contrary) that he wasn’t quite sure he even understood the concept of a romantic love yet. He knew only what was right — the courageous thing to do. And with a glance at his left hand emblazoned with the Triforce, I knew he was telling the truth.

When we sailed the seas together in the crimson vessel, I confessed my feelings to the young boy who had grown into a savior. The spirited smile and faraway look in his eyes gave away his true intentions. As he polished his shield he looked to the sky, possibly to a new time, a new place. He smiled, but I felt a new day was dawning. A new partner. I understood. All things must change, but not always in the manner in which you’d like for them to.

When we touched the sky I put down my remote. When he returns to grace a new platform, I’ll be right there waiting. Even if I’m reminiscing about the olden days and my tastes have changed. Even if I’m not a princess. Why? It’s a secret to everybody.


Brittany Stormborn of House Destructoid, Queen of the Weeaboos and the First Otaku, Khaleesi of the Great Plains, Breaker of Bust A Groove 2 Jewel Cases, and Mother of Niche/Rare Games


Heard there was a new C-Blog editor in town and had to check it out for myself. How are you all liking it? I knew there was a lot of clamoring in the forums about needing a new one, so with that said, is it working out better for you? Hope so.

At any rate, because I'm busy writing up a ton of articles right now, I thought the best use for this C-Blog would be a fun little AMA. 

So, fire away! Ask me anything! If it's within my power, I'll give you an answer. 


Brittany Stormborn of House Destructoid, Queen of the Weeaboos and the First Otaku, Khaleesi of the Great Plains, Breaker of Bust A Groove 2 Jewel Cases, and Mother of Niche/Rare Games