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Brian Szabelski avatar 12:16 AM on 03.17.2008  (server time)
Fuck yeah, happy birthday Niero and Destructoid

Holy crap, time flies, doesn't it? Today is Destructoid's second anniversary and Niero's
birthday. And while everyone else has gotten their stuff prepared weeks ahead of timeÖ I
forgot. Dammit.

Anyways, I've been an active member since August, a lurker long since before then. I've
seen the site grow and become something that can be both amazing and scary at the same
time. Many sites have risen, and others have fallen,
but Destructoid has stood the test of time. It is different. It is unique. It is home.

Without Niero. there is no Destructoid. No place to hone my writing skills, to finally refine
and control the angry gamer that's been inside of me all along, to let me bring out my
snarky asshole side from time to time in my posts both here and at Blogcritics.

Without Niero, there is nowhere for Chad Concelmo to be hired to from the IGN blogs.
There is no BFF, no dolphins, and probably, no me. There is no Colette and Topher, no
Tomopop for me to write for, no real chance to express my love for collecting various toys,
plushies and other figures. There is no Japanator, no comparisons to sounding like God
Len. There are no Friday Night Fights, no escapades with Ron Workman, no NARPs
anywhere, no cries of "STFUAJPG~!", no epic meet-ups at PAX, no amazing contests for
expensive gaming rigs that Thornnn wins by horrifying every single person on the site, no
friendships I have made that will last me for years to come.

Without Destructoid, I'm sitting on a message board at IGN listening to a bunch of little
fanboys drool over what games they have and bitch about what they don't. Even worse,
I'm stuck getting all my news off Kotaku and... that other gaming site. >.>

Without Destructoid... the world sucks. End of story.

And so, as appreciation for the hard work everyone's put into the site, I've done a few
things in honor of Destructoid's second anniversary. It's late. I don't fucking care. I did it
out of love, dammit!

First off, for Destructoid's birthday, I took a relatively well-known song and rewrote the
lyrics into a song about Destructoid. So here goes:

*clears throat*


Ya-yo, ya-yo

Dreamin', don't fuck it up, Niero
Dreamin', don't fuck it up, Roncore
Dreamin', don't fuck it up, Colette
Dreamin', don't fuck it, fuck it up, fuck it up, fuck it up, fuck it Ė NO!

Here's how the story goes, we find out
About a place for all gamers, there's no doubt

The robot who's eye on it, he'll sing,

I'll be King of the Internets
I'm gonna be king

Ya-yo, ya-yo ya-yo, ho-ho

His name is Niero
That's Yanier Gonzalez
Gonna be king of the Internets!

He's made of metal - and just how's that?
Yo-ho-ho he built an awesome helmet

Ya-yo, ya-yo

His name's Workman and he's pretty fly
And the l-a-d-y Colette's fuckin' kawaii
The Dtoid crew comin' through, doin' their thing,
And Topher's shooping for the would-be king!

Ya-yo, ya-yo, ya-yo, hoo-hoo

Set sail for Dtoid,

It's the name of the best site on the World Web!

Ya-yo, ya-yo

Set sail for Dtoid!

(Note: Niero, you better be fucking happy about this. Do you know how many times I had
to listen to that shitty opening theme to get the lyrics to match up right?!?! DO YOU?!?! I

But wait, there's more! It's a video that I had to record somewhere else because my
computer su

cks and does not record video! w00t!

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