Brian Keljore's Profile - Destructoid

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I am me. I grew up gaming and now am pretty much stuck with it. Graduated with a B.S. in Computer Science. Looking for a job. I am hoping to one day break into the gaming industry and leave my mark upon it.

I also tend to have insomnia and will end up ranting with various degrees of clarity.

Feel free to give me a shout if you are bored. Just let me know who you are first.

AIM- briankeljore

Skype- briankeljore

Following (31)  

Welcome back. When we last left, Sim Kacie drank until she was tired and headed to bed. Let's see what happened after that.

Croc broke a toilet, and thought it was funny.

Hey, let's all watch Psycho have an adventure.

It appears that Kacie and myself stole Psycho and Naia's room.

Psycho decided to share the room with Aerox. Oh hey, Bunny is taking a bath.

Naia is apparently very artistic.

Bunny really likes checking himself out.

He seriously went from mirror to mirror in the house.

And then he went jogging in a tux.

Kacie's up. Is it just me, or is she looking lovingly at me?

Oh wow, she's making actual food.

She actually burned the crap out of them, so she had Naia's left over burnt to crap waffles instead. Along with Bunny, when is he going to go to sleep anyways?

Other people are waking up now, so Kacie decides to start drinking.

Croc prepares for another day of not wearing pants while Bunny searches for a place to sleep undisturbed.

Oh hey, its Croc's turn to burn waffles.

Naia continues her artistic pursuits. She finishes off the painting before going off to work on her guitar skills.

Aerox found Croc mess from the day before and decided to clean it up.

Bunny had a funk cloud coming off him, so he attempted to take a bath. Psycho wanted to talk to him though and just walked right in, causing Bunny to flee.

Oh wait... she just wanted to steal the bathtub. Bunny spent the rest of the day trying to find an unoccupied bathroom.

This seemed to be a theme for the day though, as later, Aerox walked right in on Naia as she bathed.

Oh hey, everyone's gaming.

Bed time. Am I watching Kacie sleep before I go to bed? Is something going to happen here?

It looks like Croc and Psycho are sharing a room now. This confuses Aerox, so he heads into the next room to sleep.

Wait .. what's going on here? Apparently Naia forgave Aerox for the peeping incident, as she got into bed with him rather than take one of the two available beds.

And we leave the sims today after observing a triumphant Bunny as he finally got his bath now that everone is in bed.

Stay tuned kids. We'll be back at my earliest convenience.

Welcome back. When we last left our Sims they were just settling in.

Let's check in and see how they are doing.

It seems Aerox found a device in the corner and decided to give it a try. The activity bubble claimed he was "having an adventure," based on the noises he was making, it was probably not rated PG.

After looking long and hard in the mirror, Bunny kicked back and thought about what to do next.

Which apparently was workout shirtless in front of the TV.

Kacie continued to drink her "juice."

Psycho told Naia a story.

Which apparently inspired Naia to make some Mac and Cheese.

And people sat down to eat. Don't be fooled though, Kacie is not eating that Mac and Cheese, that's mine. She stole my spot while I was distracted. She's drinking her dinner.

Psycho was the first to head to bed. She shared a room with Naia. There are many rooms in the house, Bunny, Croc, and Kacie got their own rooms. I shared a room with Aerox.

But before he went to bed, Bunny was sure to yell at himself in the mirror.

Being the first to bed, Psycho was the first to rise. She was quite hungry and decided to have some mac and cheese... which had been left out over night!

Naia got up and started playing the guitar. She was unaware that her stalker, Aerox, was watching from the corner.

I got up and used the computer for some quick chatting.

What's this? Could Kacie be thinking of having some day old mac and cheese?

Nope. I guess it has to be 5 o'clock somewhere.

Oh hey, Croc is up.

And so is Bunny. Wait, did he sleep in his formal wear?

The two go to the living room, Croc on the computer, Bunny watching TV. Psycho found Aerox's device and had an adventure of her own.

Naia is making waffles. She is apparently not the best cook, as she burned the waffles. No one complained, and ate the waffles anyways. Except Kacie, she's apparently on a liquid diet.

She did eventually stop drinking to take a bath though.

Bathed and fully clothed, Kacie made way to her favorite part of the house. Apparently, she's a happy drunk.

Croc and Aerox played tag in their evening wear. I have no idea what is going on anymore. Would they just get dressed already?

Christ! What is with Naia and that guitar?

It was apparently a funny song, as Bunny and Psycho are giggling in the corner.

Uh-oh, someone's been playing the guitar too long.

There was a spill here, but its gone now. Also, Croc is still not wearing pants.

And as we leave our sims, we see Kacie have one last drink before attempting to go to bed... at 6:30 pm.

Will she make it? Stay tuned!

Also, I plan on introducing new sims to the community on Monday. So if you are interested, get a hold of me and give me references if you want to sim to look anything like you.

Earlier today, I noticed the podcastle Sims 3 house. I thought it was a great idea, but why should those jerks have all the fun. And so, SimToid was born.

I talked with a few community members in IRC to see who was interested. The response was greater than I had expected. I limited the test bed for the virtual community to seven members. These members would live, eat, and sleep together in one house over the course of however long it takes me to lose interest. More community members can be added to the city, but D-Toid house is full, for now.

Anyways, the members who joined in the little experiment are PsychoSoldier, Naia the Gamer, Kaciesaurus, CrocBox, BunnyRabbit2, and Aerox (aka Jonathan Ross). I attempted to make them as real to life as possible, maybe a little less mean, who knows.

All characters are set to very high levels of free will and I do not interfere with any thing they wish to do.

Here we all are, outside the mansion. Many sims started to walk around the house. Psycho and Croc had a brief conversation before exploring. Naia went straight to the video games.

Since the only TV was taken by Naia playing video games, the members of the household found other activities to take place in. Kacie read a book. Croc trolled people on the internet.

Here we see Bunny chatting up Psycho.

Soon enough, Naia's reign over the tv ended, as Psycho came and switched to the cable. Naia was upset by this, but no one seemed to mind. They were all too busy watching TV.

Needing a way to vent, Naia went off to play some guitar. It was not long before Aerox went and watched her play. That's not stalking at all. Also, why Naia dragged the guitar all the way out there I have no idea.

It was then that tragedy struck. Kacie found the bar and started drinking her "juice" shortly there after...

... all alone.

Meanwhile, Psycho was so proud of her conquest of the television, that she began playing a game of her own.

Also, it turns out that the person who Croc was IMing was none other than local sleeze bag Douche Lightning (who Croc now wishes to become friends with).

After finishing up with Douche, Croc sat down for a good read. Tired of Psycho's cursing over her game, Bunny decided to take a good long look in the mirror.

As my time in the sim world came to a close, I noticed Kacie going up for her third "juice."

Psycho is about to rage quit. I finally got on the computer.

Naia continued to practice her guitar skills.

And finally, we see Bunny checking himself out.

So, if you are interested in joining the community, contact me either in IRC or through PM on the forums. Kacie seems to be thinking of throwing a party, and with how much she drinks, it could be fun.

I was once an imaginative child, filled with glossy eyed wonder at the splendor all around me. It was for that very reason that I loved The Legend of Zelda. Being able to explore a vast world filled with dangers and treasure was right up my alley. That is why I had to have Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link when I saw it at the store. I didn't even have to rent it, it had to be good, right?

Given the title of the article, I am sure you can see where this is going.

My first thoughts while playing the game were ones of utter confusion. Why was I side scrolling? Monsters randomly attack me when I leave the road? Where am I supposed to go? What's this experience thing I keep getting? What's going on?

It was not long before I got in a random battle that was a bit too much for me and I quickly met an inglorious end and was further confused by what happened next. A Zelda game with lives? How could this be?

I was very careful after that first defeat, making sure I stuck to the roads as well as possible until I got the hang of the game. Caves and dungeons I knew to be unavoidable, but I would have to take extreme care to level Link up so that I would not meet another terrible fate.

I also thought towns would be a safe place, only to have villagers turn into bats! Those villagers who did not turn into bats often offered me cryptic clues, prostitution services (What are we doing those houses to refill my health and magic meters? hmm?), and the occasional magic spell or item. If I were to replay the game now, these clues would make more sense, but to my seven or eight year old mind had no idea what these people where talking about. I thought that the people of Hyrule were incurably insane and that I alone stood as the last sane man in the troubled kingdom.

Given that I was playing this game before the internet, and before I could find a Nintendo Power Guide, I was lost and hopeless. This entire game made me nervous as hell. Every time I played it, I feared for Link's life as I attempted to guide him through caves and dungeons where one bad move spelled certain doom. You may think I am silly for caring so much about my avatar's life, but his dying is not was I was afraid of. No, not by a long shot. What truly terrified me was this...

The Return of Ganon

That laugh. That hideous laugh as Ganon's shadow loomed over me in my dark, silent room. His piercing white, soulless eyes staring down on me with terrible malice. The Kingdom of Hyrule was doomed, the true Princess Zelda would slumber for eternity, I had failed. The laugh haunted my nightmares, made me clutch the blankets to my restless body even tighter. I was terrified of that game over screen. It made no sense, but it chilled me to the very core.

My once innocent childhood fantasy of adventure had been warped into a fear of failure by one game over screen. No longer did I rush in headlong with no fear of defeat. I hesitated at every turn and suddenly the game became even harder. To make matters worse, every time I failed, my experience counter reset, making me go through it all again. Worse still... I had to hear that laugh again.

So there you have it, the most significant memory I have of experiencing fear through a video game. It did not take me long, upon seeing the topic, to decide what to write about. I knew it all along. The one thing I feared in video games more than anything else was the return of Ganon.
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Aaron Borges of Rhode Island is the winner of the contest to rename the collider with the name of Halo.

Everyone, do it with me now.

So for those of you too lazy to read, the Royal Society of Chemistry (RSC) is seeking new names for the Large Hadron Collider(LHC) with the chosen name to be announced next Wednesday and the sender receiving a bounty of £500.

Now, one might ask, "Brian, how is this video game related at all?"

Well dear reader, I'll tell you how. Better yet, I'll show you! Behold, my name for the LHC!

That's right boys and girls, I did indeed suggest the name "Mammon Machine."

That is all.