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(NVGR) G.I. JOE Film O.F.F.I.C.I.A.L.L.Y. Ruined
Brandon Undead | 1:56 PM on 01.07.2008 24 comments


Marlon Wayans has been cast to play Ripchord, new leader of the JOEs, in the upcoming film. Enjoy this copy pasta:

"According to Variety, Ripcord is now the leader of the Joes. While there's no mention of traditional Joe leaders such as Duke, Hawk or Flint being in the Stephen Sommers-directed film, the trade paper adds that Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Brick, The Lookout) is also in negotiations to join the project in an undisclosed role.

In the comics, Ripcord (a.k.a. Ohio native Wallace A. Weems) is a HALO (high altitude-low opening) jumper.

Variety also reveals that G.I. Joe will be set 10 years in the future. Filming begins next month in Los Angeles for an Aug. 7, 2009 release.

Marlon Wayans' credits include Little Man, Scary Movie, Scary Movie 2,Dungeons & Dragons, Norbit, The Ladykillers, and Requiem for a Dream."

How does this goofy bastard keep finding high profile work? Link Below:

God hates movies @ IGN.



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21 comments | showing # 1 to 21
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Arugala9's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 14:03
Arugala9
Somebody needs to call time of death fot this movie.
24GSandCounting's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 14:03
24GSandCounting
How can you have GIJoe without Duke?!?! WTFMATE!!!
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 14:04
Brian Szabelski
My childhood. It has been raped.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 14:06
MrSadistic
It's times like these that I'm glad the writer's strike exists.
F Whipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 14:12
F Whipple
NihonTiger took the words right out of my mouth. I feel used
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 14:13
blehman
My god.....that's horrible. Also, your banner made me lol hard.

Like, co-worker looking at me oddly hard.
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 14:13
MaxVest
Man, my expectations were already pretty low for this movie, and it keeps not living up to them.
Cowzilla3's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 14:14
Cowzilla3
It was ruied way before this. I just didn't think it could get more ruined. Low and behold. I hope this flops so hard.
Brandon Undead's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 14:23
Brandon Undead
Cowzilla3: I was holding out hope. Just the tiniest little glimmer of it.

Now it's gone.
Trevor McGee's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 14:30
Trevor McGee
This movie needs Sargent Slaughter!

Listen up maggots!
SLiFE's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 14:37
SLiFE
Too late for me. George Lucas raped my childhood years ago.
Rockvillian's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 14:40
Rockvillian
I hope everyone who's still excited to see this seriously reexamines their life's accomplishments and goals.
BigPopaGamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 14:42
BigPopaGamer
Well it's official. My childhood is dead and gone.
Spartacus's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 15:00
Spartacus
.....
........
.............
WHYYYYYYYY?
Def JM's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 15:21
Def JM
I'll still say he was good in Requiem for a Dream.
FrozenSpaceMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 16:00
FrozenSpaceMonkey
@Def JM
Yeah, he was good in Requiem, even though that movie seriously made me want to kill myself. What a fucked up movie...
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 16:08
blehman
@ Def JM and FSM(FrozenSpaceMonkey, not FlyingSpaghettiMonster):

I hate watching that movie, but I love it. It just makes me so damn depressed everytime I see it.
mr showtime's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 16:28
mr showtime
What's next, Clay Aiken as the star of the Voltron flick?

I REFUSE to watch a G.I. Joe film that does not include ALL of the following:

Duke
Flint
Scarlett
Snake Eyes
Stalker
Falcon
Gung Ho
Roadblock
General Hawk
Tunnel Rat
Cobra Commander
Destro
The Baroness
Zartan
The Dreadnocks
B.A.T.S.
Dr. Mindbender
Major Bludd
Storm Shadow
Firefly
The Crimson Guard
Barbeque
Quick Kick
Jinx
Sgt. Slaughter
Refridegrator Perry
Cobra Rattlers
Trubble Bubbles
The Weather Dominator





I hate Hollywood.
Silverback 55's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2008 21:43
Silverback 55
I dunno if you have seen Sgt. Slaughter or The Fridge lately but the only camo they can fit in is a tarp.
Trevor McGee's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/08/2008 03:22
Trevor McGee
Sargent Slaughter still wrestles every now and then. He's most there to lose and put younger stars over, but he still wrestles sometimes and wears the camo he use to. Besides, if they can use CGI to make Anthony Hopkins look younger and thinner for Red Dragon they could do the same for good ol' Sgt. Slaughter.
JohnTheCrow's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/09/2008 15:47
JohnTheCrow
It was already ruined before this announcement. Hell, looking at EVERY comicbook/videogame/80s cartoon movie over the last couple of years should let anyone with even a small ammount of taste and sense know that it'll be horrible.

P.S. - I'm on this thing now.

Confidential to Brandon: You're a shit-wizard and I'm sick of your shit-wizardry. You can have Dead Rising back anytime you want it.
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