Elsa, if you're reading this, I hate you. Not in the, I actually hate you way, but in the "damn I've had this blog typed up since June 3rd and have been too much of a major pussy to post it, and then you posted a blog with a similar topic, that will be better recieved and much more well written then mine" kind of way. No hard feelings.

This isn't going to be the most interesting post you'll ever read, to be sure, but it's one that comes from my heart. I don't know many of of you here very well, and my first couple of blogs were nothing more then a shallow attempt at dry humour for cheap laughs.

Regardless, here is my pointless life story, and how it relates to gaming.

It started when I was 12. I was having behaviour issues at school, and the principal sent me to a therapist. Mind you, I had no interest in seeing this therapist, and my mother certainly had no interest in bringing me, but it was the only way to avoid expulsion, so I did it. (This principal, PS, was actually, seriously torturing me and my friend using all the power at her disposal to do so, both our parents have considered charges, but we've all moved on.)

This therapist, in her infinite wisdom, analyzed me and deduced I had a mild form of depression. My mom couldn't believe it, I was a happy, smart kid, and in her eyes, there was no way I could be a depressive. Unfortunately for both of us, a doctor's visit confirmed our fears. I did in fact have the condition. He said he didn't want to put me on pills until I was older.

Let's take a time-out quickly though. When I say depression, I don't mean attention whore, "oh look at me FML" Facebook status depression. I mean, near suicidal, punching holes in walls until my knuckles bleed depression, and it has happened before.

Skip ahead to today. I'm living well, I've been dating a beautiful girl for 5 months, and my life seems to be turning in the right direction. But still, the condition pokes it's head into my life at the stupidest moments. And for what my girlfriend can't handle, I have an alternate solution. Video games.

When I have a rough day at school, instead of pounding the drywall, I turn on my Xbox. Shitty grade on a test? Instead of sitting alone in silence, thinking about what a total fuck up I am, I play some Battlefield. It's safe to say that video games have, in their own way, effectively saved my life on a number of occasions, where stupid thoughts were running through my mind.

When the time came for the pills, I rejected them, and I always will. That shit fucks you up way worse then the way you were when you started. Sometimes I use more "herbal" ways of dealing with my problem, and they work like a charm aswell. But for what medicine and my girl can't solve, there's always an alternate solution. I way to be alone, but not really alone, all at the same time.

Thank you video games, I owe you one.