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8:40 PM on 09.30.2008

Rock Band 2 Bonus Tracks Site Update

You can now go to the Rock Band 2 site and enter your verification code to be eligible for the 20 DLC bonus tracks that will be available in a "couple weeks" (or did it say a "few"?, I can't remember). Yeah, that's right. You can now enter the code to verify your email. THEN, they'll send you an email when the tracks are ready. :-\

You're gonna have to verify your email anyway, so you may as well go ahead and get to it. You lazy bums.

Sorry this post is rame. I'm tired.   read


7:20 AM on 05.20.2008

Winner Announced: Win a rare Dtoid shirt contest

JONATHAN KERR... A WINNER IS YOU!



A couple of days ago, I announced a contest in which you could win a super sweet Destructoid tee by making the undead laugh. In the rules I had posted that the first LUL would win, and almost immediately regretted that, deciding that the most effective laugh-inducer should, in fact, take the proverbial cake. No worries, however, as Jonathan Kerr, an early entrant, achieved both the first and most epic lul, with an old man falling UP an escalator. What a twist!

Winning Entry:
Jonathan Kerr
Old Man Falls Up Escalator.

This video is funny for so many reasons... In just a few seconds you see this man transition from panic, to confusion, and then finally, submission as he floats hopelessly off the top of the frame. Also, he fell down. Or up. Anyway, it was awesome. Thanks Jonathan! Your rags are in the mail (figuratively speaking)!

1st Runner-Up:
Vongore


Vongore gets absolutely nothing for being second best, but I felt like it was worth mentioning anyway. I'd already mentioned in one of the threads blasting the MK vs. DC debacle that I have a hard-on for Batman, and this comic is just priceless. Look at Batman's totally pissed-off, determined expression. He's pouring all his rage into that dickbutt drawing. And then, THEN, the guy at the end does not look surprised like he should. No, he looks like that damn Batman got him again! Ha!

Thanks to everyone else that entered. There was a whole lotta funny goin' on. If I ever decide I no longer have room for other keen, video-gamey things, you'll be the first to know.   read


9:20 AM on 05.18.2008

Contest: Win a rare Dtoid TShirt.

I've got this rare edition Dtoid "Also, Cocks" to just give away! At least I think it's rare. There's still an ugly, charcoal-colored version for sale, but forget about that one. This is beautiful olive original. I've worn it once, maybe, and unlike most other things in my house, I don't think I've ever jizzed on it. It's a Medium.



So here's the deal. You've got a little over 24 hours to make me lol. Anything submitted before 11 am tomorrow morning is fair game. If it's against the site TOS, I guess you should link me with a NSFW disclaimer. Otherwise, go for it. It doesn't have to be original, as I know the internet has some trouble with that. It can be just a comment, a picture, a video, a song; I don't care. First LUL winz.

It will probably be Tuesday before I post the winner, at which point I will PM you for your addy and send you your kickass laser crunch shirt.

PROTIP: I'm a sucker for kitties, falling down, and vomitting.   read


11:46 AM on 03.20.2008

Not my Turning Point gaming rig



Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is not my Turning Point gaming rig! A 6-year old, 2.49 Ghz Pentium 4 Hewlett-Packard desktop. S-Mart's bottom-to-near-bottom of the line. You can find this in the home electronics department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan, maybe. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a DVD burner, cobalt blue steel, and a 1 gig of RAM. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?   read


8:27 AM on 02.20.2008

MORE Wolverine News: Deadpool and The Blob!


So, Blindside Dork beat me too the Gambit news, but I still got something for ya, I swear!

Looks like Ryan Reynolds has taken a small role as that wise-cracking mercenary with the mangled face, Deadpool! Evidently Reynolds is a hardcore Deadpool fan and had said months ago that he would "forgo anything" to play Deadpool in some form. Well, he got his wish. Again, it is supposed to be a small role, but one that could possibly set Deadpool up for his own movie, as Marvel is doing more to set up character cross-ups now that they have more say-so in the final outcomes. You know Sam Jackson is playing Nick Fury in Iron Man, but did you know that Iron Man will be appearing in The Incredible Hulk? Awesome, huh?

Not only that, but Will.I.Am of the Black-Eyed Peas will have some sort of cameo role in Woverine movie AND the Blob will make an appearance.


SW33T!

Source   read


10:21 AM on 02.18.2008

Jackie Chan in Street Fighter parody... WEIRD

I've never seen this before, but it looks fairly old.

I think Chun-Li is a trap!

[embed]70898:8150[/embed]   read


8:31 AM on 02.08.2008

"News": Games Breeding Killers



Can you believe it? A bunch of sweater-vested psychologist and mental health types who will die virgins say Gears of War is mutating me into a desensitized, baby-punching cannibal! I got news for them, though. The internet did that long ago.

Dr. Greg Snyder, a psychologist at Omaha's Children's Hospital who has never seen a "Tom & Jerry" cartoon, offers this piece of overblown common knowledge:
"Exposure to violent video games, even E rated video games, increases aggressive thoughts, increases pro-social behavior and increases general arousal"

Wait, wait, what was that? "Pro-social behavior"? That sounds like a good thing. Let's discuss that.

"Prosocial behavior occurs when someone acts to help another person, particularly when they have no goal other than to help a fellow human."

Wow. Okay, so video games elevate my barely-contained blood lust to feverish levels while compelling me to love and help my fellow people. It sounds like the brain is stimulated, and maybe I'm not used to that! "General arousal," indeed.

Researches from a variety of important sounding universities and health institutes have of course conducted a bunch of crazy experiments where they closely monitor the intensity of the little light bulb that appears above your head when you think about violent video games, and they generally agree that exposure to violent video games makes teenagers respond less intensely to real (videotaped) violence. They have a lower heart rate and lower galvanic skin response after viewing, meaning that violence has been "normalized" to them, according to Sissyboy Snyder. The ability to stay calm in the face of violence is truly a horrible thing... I guess?

"The more normal it is, the more likely it is they're going to activate or engage in those behaviors when provoked or even unprovoked," Snyder said.

Man, Snyder is a fucking idiot, as evidenced in this beautifully constructed retort from Tyler White, age 17. "With a shooting game, you can't actually go out and shoot someone," White said.

You can't? These past 20 something years of gaming have led me to believe I was put on this earth to SLAY mortal man! Also, guitars are operated using five colorful buttons and squirrels are foul-mouth drunks that can use their tails like helicopter propellers. THAT is the reality I know. The article at least adds that White and his 16-year old friend said that they did not feel more violent after playing Gears of War for about 20 minutes.

Look, I'm not denying that video games probably slightly elevate your desire to be violent, but that's normal, and dare I say it's probably healthy? How many people here saw the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie when they were younger, screamed "Cowabunga!" and karate kicked their little brother in the face? I know I did. That's normal. It's what people do. It's part of growing up, part of developing socially, and part of showing your little brother who's the fucking ninja master of the house. It does not mean Ninja Turtles were a warmongering demon sent from Hell to destroy the world.

I'm having trouble wrapping this up in a meaningful way, so I will leave you with this brilliant thought from Chuck Payne, a man who does not censor what his child plays, but imposes a time limit to his son's murder-simulator exposure:
"Then, when they're done playing, that's all that's on their mind. Kill. Kill. Kill. Well, one hour a day. Period."

My God.   read


3:37 PM on 01.18.2008

G.I. Joe movie update

Like a horrible, baby-mutilating, burning train-wreck you just can't turn away from, the G.I. Joe film is somehow impossible for me to ignore.

News from the producer confirms the presence of Destro who is pretty much guaranteed to have some sort of accent (Scottish or not is yet to be determined). Also confirmed are Zartan and Hawk

The producer also confirms the presence of a character who in early drafts of the script becomes... COBRA COMMANDER?

Movie saved?

Not quite.

Remember:


The full article can be found here.   read


3:39 PM on 01.09.2008

Did you hear!? Castle Crashers info!



Jay Allard and Major Nelson called Brian Crescente on PSP Skype screaming drunk and said Castle Crashers is coming out in 3 WEEKS and that it is going to be FREEEEEE because we had to endure a "royal clusterfuck of XBL bullshit" this month (their words, not mine). Call Workman if you don't believe it!

Source: http://www.batmeng.com   read


1:56 PM on 01.07.2008

(NVGR) G.I. JOE Film O.F.F.I.C.I.A.L.L.Y. Ruined

Marlon Wayans has been cast to play Ripchord, new leader of the JOEs, in the upcoming film. Enjoy this copy pasta:

"According to Variety, Ripcord is now the leader of the Joes. While there's no mention of traditional Joe leaders such as Duke, Hawk or Flint being in the Stephen Sommers-directed film, the trade paper adds that Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Brick, The Lookout) is also in negotiations to join the project in an undisclosed role.

In the comics, Ripcord (a.k.a. Ohio native Wallace A. Weems) is a HALO (high altitude-low opening) jumper.

Variety also reveals that G.I. Joe will be set 10 years in the future. Filming begins next month in Los Angeles for an Aug. 7, 2009 release.

Marlon Wayans' credits include Little Man, Scary Movie, Scary Movie 2,Dungeons & Dragons, Norbit, The Ladykillers, and Requiem for a Dream."

How does this goofy bastard keep finding high profile work? Link Below:

God hates movies @ IGN.   read


9:59 AM on 12.26.2007

COD4 (360) is $37 @ Amazon today- But you can get it for $7

Target is selling COD4 for Xbox 360 for $37 through Amazon right now.

PROTIP:
I just recently got approved for an Amazon credit card, and if they're still running the promo, they credit your first purchase $30. I just bought COD4 new for $9.98 after shipping, and you may be able to as well! SW33T!   read


6:56 AM on 12.25.2007

Merry Pagan Tree Worship and Gift Giving Day!

Merry Fucking Christmas to yoooouuuuU!!!!u

[embed]61302:6301[/embed]   read





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