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Brandnamecommercial avatar 8:18 PM on 02.01.2010  (server time)
Is Rain Doing Videogames a Disservice?

You know how the rain sometimes dictates what you will wear for the day, or even what you will do that day? Yeah, well that’s retarded.
Not related to video games you say? Well, how depressingly wrong you are. Leave right now in shame. Come back when you’re ready to be mentally raped by knowledge. Also, while you’re gone, check to make sure your health insurance provider covers SCROTAL EXPLOSION, because that’s what’s about to happen.

It’s common knowledge that rain has been around since the time of the Ancient Greeks, when Columbus first discovered it off the coast of Pangaea. What isn’t common knowledge however, is that rain hates all living things and wishes only the worst for all of earth’s creatures. Seeing as video games cause people pleasure, it is only natural to assume weather hates them with the power of a thousand pockets of low pressure.

Case and point(s):

Rain can damage video games:
Let’s say you just bought a brand new copy of Let’s Dance for the Nintendo Wii. Now if rain liked video games, and you were to set this copy of Let’s Dance in your yard during a flash flood watch, it would in theory remain their untouched the next day. However, in real life rain could care less, and would happily take any and all steps necessary to prevent you from dancing stupidly in front of a television.

A lack of rain can promote activities that are not video games:

Have you ever gone outside and did something “active” because it was such a nice day? Well, you my friend just fell into rain’s trap. Unless you account for death by Mountain Dew induced Diabetes, more people die engaging in non video game related activities every year than die from any other kind of activity.

Local weathermen are always trying to show off their penis size:

Rain is not a movie and should stop acting like one:

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