hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts


Brandnamecommercial's blog

9:33 PM on 02.28.2010

(Unofficial) Exclusive Darksiders 2 information from inside Vigil Games

Living in Austin, I had been particularly excited for the release of Darksiders, given that Vigil Games operates about 15 minutes from where I live. A family member of mine happens to be good friends with someone who works for Vigil, and after to talking to him today, I was able to learn some new information about Vigil and THQ's plans for the franchise.

*As a disclaimer, the following information comes from an undisclosed source and in no way represents an official statement by Vigil Games or THQ. This information is not yet suppose to be available to the public, which is why I'm sharing it with you.

-The Darksiders franchise is set to consist of 4 games, each starring a different horsemen. The general story arc for the tetralogy has already been roughly hashed out.

-Darksiders 2 will star Death. His concept art was finalized over the last two weeks.

Death's concept art circa mid January (was posted on Dtoid). Was not told if he has changed much from this iteration.

-THQ has put a lot of pressure on Vigil to release Darksiders 2 by January 2012. Though multiplayer has been hinted on by the outside press, the developers consider implementation of a proper multiplayer unlikely given time constraints.

-Darksiders 2 will not necessarily play anything like the first. As of right now, I have been told plans are to make Darksiders 2 much more of an RPG experience, though there are no specifics on what exactly that means. The tone and the world will remain true to the first, but gameplay is still up in the air.

There you have it. Though obviously this is still early development, expect those first two points to hold up. Gameplay and possible release date are tentative as of now.   read

8:18 PM on 02.01.2010

Is Rain Doing Videogames a Disservice?

You know how the rain sometimes dictates what you will wear for the day, or even what you will do that day? Yeah, well that’s retarded.
Not related to video games you say? Well, how depressingly wrong you are. Leave right now in shame. Come back when you’re ready to be mentally raped by knowledge. Also, while you’re gone, check to make sure your health insurance provider covers SCROTAL EXPLOSION, because that’s what’s about to happen.

It’s common knowledge that rain has been around since the time of the Ancient Greeks, when Columbus first discovered it off the coast of Pangaea. What isn’t common knowledge however, is that rain hates all living things and wishes only the worst for all of earth’s creatures. Seeing as video games cause people pleasure, it is only natural to assume weather hates them with the power of a thousand pockets of low pressure.

Case and point(s):

Rain can damage video games:
Let’s say you just bought a brand new copy of Let’s Dance for the Nintendo Wii. Now if rain liked video games, and you were to set this copy of Let’s Dance in your yard during a flash flood watch, it would in theory remain their untouched the next day. However, in real life rain could care less, and would happily take any and all steps necessary to prevent you from dancing stupidly in front of a television.

A lack of rain can promote activities that are not video games:

Have you ever gone outside and did something “active” because it was such a nice day? Well, you my friend just fell into rain’s trap. Unless you account for death by Mountain Dew induced Diabetes, more people die engaging in non video game related activities every year than die from any other kind of activity.

Local weathermen are always trying to show off their penis size:

Rain is not a movie and should stop acting like one:

11:57 PM on 01.27.2010

Doing Performance Studies Research at a GameStop: Part 1

What I’m supposed to do and why:

As a Com Studies major one of the classes I am required to take is called Performing Culture. In it I will essentially be seeking to apply and analyze how the foundations of performance and cultural studies shape human interactions, the presentation of self, culture, monkey sex, identity, blah, blah, blah. A big part of my grade for the class will come from a semester long research project which requires me to select a site where people congregate (bar, frat house, sporting event, outlet mall, ect.) and by acting as a participant/observer of that site form an argument about some aspect of performance which I feel is taking place. For example, I could choose to study how/why men consciously/unconsciously exert their masculinity in an E.R. waiting room.

A proposal describing the site, my research question, and featuring a listing of relevant peer-reviewed literature, is due next week.

My unofficially proposed site:

Why the hell I chose it:

1. There’s a dynamic at a Gamestop which is really only ever appreciated by gamers. I know there have blogs about it before, but the different types of people that visit a Gamestop – from the parents who don’t know a Playstation from a Snuggie to the 16 year olds who need to constantly try and dick measure their video game knowledge with the clerk – are all ripe with research boner potential.

2. It involves something I’m actually interested in.

3. I’m supposed to spend at least 10 hours ‘on-site’ so I’d prefer if it was somewhere with some redeeming qualities. In other words, I’d rather kill a homeless man by shoving change into his eyes (while yelling, “Here’s your spare change, hope you can afford SOME SPARE EYES.”) than spend my time at a club or a Walmart.

Why I’m telling you all this:

To ask if y’all have any suggestions as to what I might want to specifically look for in this research. Are there some annoying behaviors or interesting quirks you find when visiting a gamestop you’d like to have analyzed and translated into boring, pedantic cultural research?

In the process of writing this blurb I came up with one idea, which I kind of like. It’d be interesting if I found a GameStop with a female employee in the area, and documented how the predominately male cliental interacted with her (“OMG a girl that likes teh gamez 2!”) as compared to her vagina-less counterparts.   read

11:41 AM on 01.04.2010

Hey, stare at this ass for 8 hours.

Playing both Resident Evil 5 and Uncharted 2 recently, I encountered two distinct instances that have gotten me to thinking about that special side of a character gamers see most often when playing 3rd person games, their back.

Staring at a character’s back occurs to varying degrees depending primarily on the style of gameplay and the style of camera control. Games that are combo-oriented or rely on constant mobility cannot focus on the character’s back without disorienting the player and/or impeding the games flow. But slower paced games, particularly survival/horror and more methodical, cover based 3rd person shooters, tend to restrict much of their game time to a view behind the shoulder of the main character. With that generalization out of the way, here a couple things I've come across:

1. It’s really annoying when your character starts blocking you from seeing what you actually need to look at.

This was an issue I faced in RE5, often most aggravating when I had large weapons like shotguns, rifles, RPGs on my back. I really appreciate that they render the proper weapons you have equipped on your body, but when playing as a Hulk sized Chris with a shotgun on his back, an ammo counter to his right and a possible map in the upper corner, it gets overwhelming.

Shattered Memories uses a much more minimalist style of back staring compared to RE5.

2. Butts are noticeable.

Playing Uncharted 2 multiplayer (which is the only multiplayer I've ever really gotten into - sadly I was renting the game) I leaned on using Elena and Chloe as my player skins, because damn, they know how to wear some digital jeans. It sounds immature/childish, but it was more pleasing to my eye and that was all it took for me to decide I preferred them.

Sadly, I've found even the most sexualized of backs can't help bad games. But they can help erections.


3:57 PM on 12.31.2009

My Game of the Year Awards: 2015 Edition

Game of the Year Awards are populating every cavity of the gaming world right now, and being as this is the last day of 2009, I feel obligated to partake in this raping and pillaging of journalist progress in the name of making a list of things I think are better than other things. However, this list is FROM THE FUTURE. And not the next year future, BUT THE KIND-OF-DISTANT FUTURE. After careful counsel with my local shaman I feel safe to share with you my vision for some of the best that gaming will have to offer come the year 2015.

Best Graphics:
Uncharted 4: Quest for Bowie's Gold

With the release of the newest Uncharted game Naughty Dog has now officially finished graphics. There is no longer anything left to be done with them, except make them worse. 4 out of 5 Doctors agree that this game looks so good it can drive a blind man to madness and a madman to salvation. The Pope has since denounced the game as a false idol which seeks to emulate the glory of the Lord.

Best Music/Sound:
David Hayter: The Game

Famed voice actor of Solid Snake and successful screenwriter in his own right, David Hayter has partnered once again with Kojima Productions to produce this game set in Hayter's present day home of Santa Monica, California. Join Hayter as he buys groceries, surfs the internet, and talks to his wife on codec. But that's not why this game is getting awarded for best sound. Hayter does the whole game in Solid Snake's voice, but if it was part Irish and all Down's Syndrome. Also, be on the lookout for Quintin Flynn, voice actor of Raiden, to crash the party when he's found cheating with Hayter's wife!
SPOILER ALERT: Marriage counseling torture scene is gruesome.

Best Smells/Tastes:
Doritos' Armageddon CrunchZone 2015

Many gamers worried that EA gaining exclusive rights to the DACz license would lead to the publisher having little incentive to continue to evolve and improve the core experience of the annual CrunchZone titles. But luckily these fears can be put to rest, as DACz 2015 exceeded everyone's nacho cheesiest expectations. Featuring an updated flavor roster and a revamped multi-chip tournament mode, Doritos' has once again struck delicious in the coalmine of our mouths.

Best Use of a Peripheral:
Tony Hawk's Pro Love Maker

Following countless years of mediocrity, the Tony Hawk's franchise was given new life this year thanks to ditching that whole 'skateboard' thing in favor of simulated riding and grinding of another kind. Much of the success of this newest game can be attributed to the state-of-the-art doll peripheral which comes packaged with every disc. Featuring unrealistic plastic that will never biodegrade and access to over 6 motion-detecting holes which are impossible to clean out, it's every man's dream toy! Plus it's incredibly portable, thanks to Activisions patented inflate/deflate technology. If there is one negative to this peripheral though, it would have to be the inclusion of Tony Hawk's face on the doll, which the skate star insisted was "paramount to giving my fans the authentic Tony Hawk experience."

Best RPG:
Dragons n' Shit II

Following Master Nicholson's rise to power in 2013, his personal game studio, Chetware (which consists of members of Bioware and Brad's muscles) has been hard at work turning Dragons n' Shit into a smash hit franchise. The sequel improves upon nearly everything found in the original, with more breasts, more muscles, and more dragons. Chetware also included a new relationship dynamic, which the company calls "Sex n' Shit", that allows the player to make any 1 to 3 characters, monsters, or pieces of foliage partake in the intimate act of having sex with Brad Nicholson. Some critics felt that this game still suffered some of the same issues as the first, namely poor camera visibility due to muscles taking up so much of the screen, but fear of angering Master Nicholson leads me to declare this the ultimate RPG of 2015!

Best Fighting Game:
Capcom Vs. Abstract Expressionism

Fighting games have never been known as drastic innovators, but Capcom has wound up turning the whole genre on it's head with it's newest game in the venerated "Vs." line. A classic roster of Capcom greats battle it against the paintings and ideals which define the post World War II abstract expressionist movement. Nothing beats watching Ryu hadouken some painting your 6 year old could have made but for some reason is worth thousands of dollars. Capcom has since hinted at a possible followup, "Capcom vs. Dadaism," alternatively titled, "werjoivxghweoiq".

Best Action/Adventure:
Uncharted 4: Quest for Bowie's Gold

Besides just graphics, the new Uncharted also champions tight controls and a captivating new story. Taking place 1 year after the events of Uncharted 3: Putin's Stash, the game finds Nathan Drake on a quest through space to find the secret treasure left by music legend David Bowie. Elena, after being transformed into a talking Labrador retriever, pilots their time-machine spaceship through various realizations of David Bowie albums as they find clues and who knows, maybe just learn a little something about themselves in the process.

Best Handheld Game:
The Legend of Zelda: Lazy River

Once again Nintendo proves that it knows how to make a quality LoZ title that combines all of your favorite elements of the previous games into a nearly identical sequel, but with a new, unnecessary method of transportation thrown in. This time a young Link is back in Hyrule on a quest to save the beautiful princess Zelda from the evil Ganondorf, all with the help of his magical inner tube and trusty Conga drum. Using the Conga drum to bang magical melodies and solve unique puzzles throughout each of the four elemental dungeons, Link slowly tubes his way across this wonderful game.


Obviously there are other categories that I glossed over when writing this list of awards, but that's only because the shaman charges by the hour. Hopefully this give everyone a better idea of what THE FUTURE is like.

Happy New Year.   read

8:40 PM on 10.25.2009

My first blog ever... that isn't about lesbian robots.*

Hello friends, I'm a long time addict to this wonderful site and have finally gotten the up nerve to write an intro blog and maybe start being a little more active in the site which I visit countless times per day.

With regards to me the person, the gist is this: I'm a 20 year old college student at Southwestern (a small liberal arts university in Georgetown, TX) studying rhetoric, media communications, and mandarin. When I am not in class or working am I most likely to be either visiting this site or masturbating furiously (these two are not mutually exclusive).

My first introduction to games was thanks to my older brother, who indoctrinated me with 16bit JRPGs. As such, my most fond memories of gaming during the ages of 8-12 consist mostly of me either playing FFIV, FFV (as a Japanese ROM) FFVI, Chrono Trigger, Super Mario RPG or watching my brother play them. It was actually a tradition all the way through the PSX era for whenever one of us was playing an RPG for the other to do all the voices for any of the dialogue (but I'll save that for another post). Sibling bonding at its best. The first system I ever "bought" was a PSX from my older nephew in exchange for my brother's copy of Chrono Trigger (which I don't know if he ever forgave for doing). From that point on my gaming history was one filled with magic, whimsy, and other fruity sounding adjectives.

[FFVI is my jam. As part of a personal tradition, in playing it once a year I still get something new out of it every time. The beauty of some of these games is the way that they gain continual new meaning as you accumulate new knowledge and personal experiences.]

As far as the other games I play, you can probably get a good idea of what I like from looking at the lists to the right. These lists of my favorite games on older systems are not set in stone, as I am always in the process of playing through older games I missed the first time around (such as Earthbound or Majora's Mask).

Well anyway, I think this is about all I have to say for this first post, hopefully it came out okay. I've always been intimidated by the levels of awesomeness contained within these cblogs. That's another way of saying y'all give me a mind boner.

(Where I steal my profile pic from)

*This is not say I've ever written about lesbian robots, I just wanted to clarify.   read

Back to Top

We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -