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Brad Nicholson avatar 7:07 PM on 07.06.2008
Universe at War Review Notes


As you may have noticed, my Universe at War: Earth Assault review is up and live. While I thought the game was a dreadful experience, at least my notes were lively enough. Feel free to check them out:

Universe at War Review Notes

Single-Player

- Terrible lip-synching
- Chainguns versus aliens?
- If you lose a hero in battle, you lose the mission. Sounds like that’ll happen a lot.
- Stuttered quite a bit in the opening
- First level, save the president
- Hero is a nasty unit, rarely gets hurt actually
- Cut-scenes look like total shit, pre-rendered backgrounds
- Colonel Moore is the main Hero’s name
- Soldiers are unresponsive for the most part
- Wait, he’s not the main hero. Is the protagonist the chick in the Transformers costume?
- Oh, it must be the dude with the face mask
- Nevermind
- So, I switched from saving the president to an AI race?
- Now, I’m confused. This chick is the only human on that planet’s homeworld
- She’s a clone
- Wow, those walkers are awesome
- Mission 4, 5, 6 point-and-click adventure!
- I’m getting tired of my guys getting stuck on buildings
- Could this game get any more jagged? I’ve got like 10 dudes on the screen
- I could totally pull off a Michael J. Fox joke
- These cut-scenes are total rubbish
- At least the Hiero-whatever is cool
- Oh man, I lost my hero
- The game doesn’t autosave? FUCK.
- Still sucks the second time through
- So, that campaign was unoriginal as hell. Very derivative
- Wait, this is the third race? Where the hell are the humans?
- Dude – I wanted a tank. I need a tank.
- Light/Offense, Dark/Defense
- Ugh.

Online

- That only took twenty minutes to get a match
- Holy shit this is laggy
- Awesome, I fell out
- The tech tree is wicked hard to navigate
- Awesome, the guy quit on me
- Again
- Again
- Whoa, this is unplayable. Seriously.

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