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Then and Now: A scientific analysis on why everyone needs to shut the fuck up
Boolean | 4:16 AM on 09.08.2007 21 comments


Then: The Xbox was the fat band playing new kid at school when it turned up years ago. It was ridiculed by PS2 owners for its massive size and weight, many a comparison being made between it and objects viewable from the moon.
Now: The PS3 is now the biggest console ever made. The PS3 is praised for being so huge, since it must hold ‘massive power’, it's puny case trying to contain it all in, like He-Man flexing in a lycra top.


Then: PSX consoles break all around the world. A faulty laser requires users to play the consoles on their sides or upside down, sometimes turning the console that direction too. The problem gets worse until you are considered lucky to have a working one left. PS2 consoles then break all around the world. The faulty laser is so common, a class action law suit is filed against Sony.
Now: The Xbox360 has problems with overheating, 360 is ridiculed to death.


Then: The PS2 is the weakest console on the market. Xbox and Gamecube owners scoff at ports of PS2 games like Splinter Cell and RE4 as they have to be downgraded to run properly. PS2 owners do not care, because having more power does not make good games.
Now: The PS3 is the most powerful console on the market. Xbox and Wii owners scoff at the PS3 and claim having more power does not make good games.

Then: The PS2 is the cheapest console on the market. PS2 owners point and laugh at the Xbox for its enormous price tag, laughing behind its back and wondering why anyone would pay that much for a console.
Now: The PS3 costs more than launching a shuttle into space.

Then: Xbox owners pass notes in class giggling about how the PS2 does not have a hard drive, remarking how it’s the standard now for all things cool and hip.
Now: Microsoft launches a hard drive free SKU while the PS3 adopts it as standard. Developers bitch about not knowing which people will own a hard drive or not and that it is causing problems.


After running all the data through a computing number machine, scientists discovered the following: "Everyone needs to shut the fuck up unless you want to look like a fool next generation". They did tests and things.



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20 comments | showing # 1 to 20
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tehuberone's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 04:49
tehuberone
ZERO COMMENT!
Buster's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 05:05
Buster
hm... if science said that, then i guess its true
Boolean's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 05:07
Boolean
WITH TESTS
10BobMarleys's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 05:16
10BobMarleys
Awesome sauce. Ironically, this is full of great ammo for fanboys.
The Incredible Edible Egg's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 05:49
The Incredible Edible Egg
I love it BECAUSE ITS TRUE!!

I got so much of that stupid "The Xbox is a big fatass!" and another that I didn't understand "The Xbox control has too many buttons" when in reality the ps2 has one button more. I like people who dont use reality as a basis for their arguments. It makes me feel smart (not saying I am, but at least I'm not on the bottom of the food chain)
Boolean's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 06:03
Boolean
^^

HA, well if you don't fall into the system slagging slap-fest many people do, I rate you smart already.

I find the whole system war thing strange. I totally get why people slag other consoles, but I just find it odd to make fun of another system based on features alone when its entirely possible your system of choice will be doing the exact same thing next gen! Xbox users slag Wii for silly controls, but for all we know the Xbox 720 could go all 'waggle' mode. Wii users slag the PS3 for being so pricey, but the Wii-2 could end up being the most expensive of all if MS and Sony pull a fast one next gen. And once again people will change their stance quicker than Bruce Lee on fire.
Koopa13's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 06:46
Koopa13
i have been this generation and last and i will be ain future generations a proud lover, supporter and owner of all consoles available.
But i do agree, ppl just need to stop bitching so much. Its like arguing in the playground over pepsi and coke.
linuxguy's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 07:59
linuxguy
what is the church's POV on that
Amethystine's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 08:24
Amethystine
Science triumphs again!
Boolean's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 08:33
Boolean
HUZAH!
Neonie's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 08:54
Neonie
I love my exbawks <333
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 09:13
Justice
Pretty nice article dude!
Tron Knotts's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 09:31
Tron Knotts
What the hell are you trying to say? That people can't have prefered consoles? I'm totally confused.

I agree that the PS3 looking like it may be the equvelant to the X-Box of last gen (most powerful, least good games), and the Wii is starting to look like it will be the new PS2 (least powerful, most popular). Why does that mean we all have to shut up?
Boolean's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 09:33
Boolean
Ha, thanks Justice. This is why destructoid rocks - no spamming fanboys ruining everything. You guys rock!

*basks in the glow of friendly Destructoid*

mmmm, thats good basking.
Boolean's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 09:42
Boolean
Tron Knotts: Everyone should have their preference, sure. What I dont get is the gigatons of upper case posts sent over the internet arguing why Console X is better than Console Y. If you are going to bitch about something, at least bitch about the games. But pledging allegiance to a console in this imaginary war over the idea that your system is perfect is just stupid as hell. Every system is flawed! Every raving fan boy is a goddam hypocrite who will change what makes a 'perfect console' (ie. the one they own) based on a second by second basis of what the developer decides to include. People need to stop bitching and shut the fuck up because all your doing is makig yourself look like a fool when you flip flop on ‘your console sucks because it’s the most expensive’ to “ours is the most expensive? Fuck yeah its totally worth it’.
zomB Eter's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 10:38
zomB Eter
but seriously we all know coke is better right
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 13:12
Bob Muir
Science is never wrong!
itemforty's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 14:43
itemforty
Fuck yeah Science!
FinalFist's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2008 14:47
FinalFist
Good talking points.
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