Most people would guess RROD, right? amirite?

It's only happened to me twice so far, so it makes sense, but no, not that. That's too easy.


DVD only wishes he were this happy right now.

See, I can't do shit with my Xbox 360 because today's update DID do something to my console. It made the wireless controllers stop syncing with my console.

Yesterday, day before, weeks prior, my console synced up with my controllers (I have two). But tonight, I boot the console to see their request for me to update my console. I grab the controller, hit the button and suddenly the normal thing that happens, doesn't. It stops working, leaving me with a guitar controller and jack shit to do with it.

I call up Microsoft about this problem and their solution? $99.

Fuck you. FUCK YOU. No, seriously, FUCK YOU.

I would rather wipe my ass on this console than give you $99 to repair it. Because you know what you're gonna do? You're gonna toss it in your goddamn mountain of RROD consoles and box me up and out a new one that's the same as all the RROD'd consumers that sent in systems that came before it. So, MS, if when the techie's supervisor picks up here in about 15 minutes DOESN'T comp me a repair on the console, I'm going to go put this in the bedroom where it'll become a media center ONLY console waiting for that Netflix update that lets me stream TV and movies from the internet. And when it RROD's from that point forward you'll swallow that $99 repair like a hot fat shit of a fecophiliac.

I'll go buy a new 360 before I give you that $99 satisfaction. You know why? Because that's defeat in my eyes. To give you money for something that should not break under undue duress.

It's a sentient wireless card in a console. When's the last time a wireless card broke on someone? Fucking never?

So, yeah, to stress, screw you Microsoft. For once, I'm keeping my dead system and it'll wait till YOU have to repair it for me and you'll like it.