Like everything good in life, it started with a blow from the back. An unexpected, unwanted and certainly unpleasant assault from behind, and I never saw it coming. It had begun, and abruptly ended, in little more than a flash and there was nothing I could have done.

The perpetrator: slender, suave, sophisticated, smokin' ... He towers over my broken body as he brushes down his crimson pinstripes, and adjusts his matching tie. His face: shrouded from all recognition by the mask(s) he wears; his voice: not so dissimilar to my own half-uncle: calculated, raspy and arrogant. And French.

Mystified, bewildered and totally intrigued, I stare into the camera feed now on my screen. I had never seen anything quite like it. In this world of rocket explosives, pipe-bomb spam and sniper fire, a lone man toys with his enemies from behind their own front-lines. Striking from the shadows. Lost in the crowds. Completely invisible to the naked eye.

I withdraw from the battle to witness further the devilishly devious antics of my assailant - the mind-games he envelops around my former comrades, the deceitful acting he masterfully employs to fool these ever-so-real players into believing he is a friendly friend to their cause. Just as quickly as they believe him, he is behind them. Razor-sharp knife at the ready, primed for the kill. A second later, a corpse lies limp and lifeless. And the shadowy figure has taken his own identity away from him.

I'm amazed. In all the games I'd ever played, never had I seen such psychological warfare. Here existed a class that could periodically become invisible to all, mask himself as an enemy player and then attempt to fool human players into believing in his disguise, and then literally backstab them as he swiftly sabotages their efforts.

Yeah, I remember. It all started right there.

I wanted to be the Spy.



Honestly, I was a total beginner to Team Fortress 2. Only having played Medic, Scout and Sniper in my single-figure matches, I had absolutely zero experience to apply to this not-so-newbie-friendly ninth class: the Spy. In hindsight, I probably would've played a few other classes first - but then who seriously wants to stay babysitting buildables all match?

It was little surprise then that, accustomed to blasting my opponents apart with Scout's scattergun and Sniper's rifle, I soon found that attacking enemies upfront with the revolver wasn't the most successful approach to effective spying (read: it was an abysmal failure and it should never be tried again). So I began toying with the Spy's Invisibility Watch, but I consistently overestimated the time taken for the cloak to drain empty. Surprise, surprise: I uncloak in front of every enemy Pyro, and find myself a crumbling pile of ash moments later.

"FUCKIN' PYROOOSSSSSSS", I would cry, half-pondering a letter of complaint to Valve to indicate that I found this flamethrower class rather overpowered and would appreciate their swift removal from the game as a loyal, paying customer. It absolutely wasn't fair, this class could counter every trick in my book. It was unjustified, totally broken and the TF2 developers were imbeciles for adding it to the game. Seriously, how was I supposed to remain invisible and continue my insta-killing sprees when these silly Pyros keep lighting me on fire?!

Yeah, that's an easy one to answer. I sucked. Hard.

I persisted with it, albeit persistently missing my stabs, bumping into Soldiers, forgetting to cloak/disguise as I approached enemy Sentry Nests and generally failing miserably - and yet with each life lost, I learned something new. I noticed that the standard Invisibility Watch lasts ~9 seconds, but picking up ammo refueled the meter. I discovered I could quickly stab an Engineer and disable his sentry gun before it could flip around to fire at me. I realised I wasn't so bad after all, and that through all my comparably pathetic failures, I was getting better and better every time.

I just needed more practice.



A couple-dozen hours later, and after what must have been over a thousand deaths, I had grasped the basics. I could sometimes pull off a standard backstab, I knew the locations of most of the ammo pickups required to refuel my cloak and I'd finally learned to respect Spy Rule #1: try and stay the fuck away from Pyros!

But alas, just as I gained faith in my own abilities, Mr. Veteran would enter the server. The 300-hour , mastered in the ways of slick stairstabs and deceitful disguise-acting. Instantly, their score would become triple of mine and I would lose hope in even dreaming of becoming comparable. They knew exactly what to do, when to do it and how to make it look so easy. It was simply enviable.

So I said as much over the microphone. I complimented his prowess, I told him I was just learning the ropes and I hoped to play Spy as effectively as him one day. It was merely a polite gesture as an observer to his skills; I was expecting nothing more than a "Thanks!" or a "pr0skillz, n00b!".

Instead, the gentleman linked me to YouTube.

Aha! Tutorials: it was so obvious! Why waste your precious days trying to figure the kinks to these complicated classes when some stranger from the Internet has recorded them all down for you in shiny, colourful motion-picture? Gameplay footage! Pie charts! Dissolve transitions~!

Whether your game's Team Fortress 2, Counter-Strike, League of Legends or World of Warcraft, the Internet's likely to be bursting with helpful guides, FAQs, 'Hints and Tips' and stat-builds that other players have compiled specifically for people like us: people that want to learn (and are too lazy to figure it out on their own). Find them on YouTube, the forums or even gaming blogs like this one! Failing that, see if you can't convince someone experienced in your chosen trade to lend you a helping hand. Or just stalk them in spectator mode.


(Destructoid CBlog - DIY Video Embedding! Print-screen the video and hyperlink the image yeaaaaaa!)

Right. We've watched every video tutorial, we've read every strategy guide and we've kissed the ass of every veteran in the field. We know what we need to do. What now??

We just need somewhere to practice.

Introducing tr_walkway - The #1 'Team Fortress 2' training tool! A downloadable custom map that allows the player to spawn computer-controlled target dummies and adjust their speed, spawn time and crouch/strafe frequency amongst other various options designed to streamline your particular training regime.

Want to improve your headshot aim?
Practice your crossbow airshots?
Want to practice various backstabs?

Walkway's the map for you. I'll vouch for it.



For several weeks, I'd routinely kill an hour or two every day on the Walkway - like a virtual exercise regime from the comfort of my own deskchair. As the bots clambered up the central ramp, I would leap over their heads and attempt to catch their back as I passed; the famed 'stairstab'. I would move beside my target and flick my wrist to backstab the moment they walked by; the slick 'sidestab'. I'd even brush up my revolver aim every kill or so; the trusty 'fuck I missed, backpedal, bang bang!'

Then, with a new-found confidence in my abilities, I'd hit the server browser. I'd flick between them, joining for a match or two as I measured my own skill against my fellow players. The last thing I wanted was to join a server full of professionals, but I didn't want a cakewalk either. I needed a server with regular players at my own level, with enough room to improve my abilities at my own pace. No gimmicky mods, no increased player count - just pure, sweet Vanilla.

I found one.
I connected.
I played.
I stayed.

And that was that.

In the 750+ hours of Spy that followed, I consistently improved. I knew what the team expected of me, how I could best contribute to the team from my role and where they needed me to be. I had a vague idea of 'how to not die', but whenever I did, I acknowledged that it was merely the result of my opponent's superior gameplay or my own err in judgement - not because the entire server had instantly activated their wallhacks/aimbots just to kill the fantastic Blitzy!

And as the hours racked up and my training became more extensive, I became satisfactorily proficient in the arts of trickstabbing, espionage, deception and domination. I soon found fellow veteran Spies just as keen to master the class as I, alongside wannabe Spies who wanted to learn the basics of it. Just as I'd appreciated the advice I'd been given as a beginner, I found a warm satisfaction sharing my experiences with others inspired by my prowess. I grew to respect manners and sportsmanship online; refraining from self-inflating taunts and boasts and simply allowing my own actions to speak for me.



(It's my own video!- 'Life as a Spy' using the Saharan Spy set with the Cloak and Dagger!)

But even now, I don't believe I'm done. Even having learned so much already, I'm still by no means a Spymaster. I still have so many more matches to see, so many more players to face and so many more fun times to be had as I continue to develop as a player. Perhaps one day, I'll learn everything there is to learn from Spy and I'll actually try out another class. I'm in no rush. I'm not competing against anyone; I'm not exactly racing to become World Champion of TF2. I'm simply enjoying the game for what it is. It's a game.

Sure, I was a total scrub once. Like everyone, I had to start somewhere and I had to face my own share of failure and humiliation. I made mistakes, but I learned something new from each and every one: 1) Pyro takes no skill, 2) Valve hates Spies and 3) Demospam's totally OP.

But that's okay! Facing overwhelming adversity brings its own rewards; they're simply further challenges to overcome as your skills develop and improve! Just remember that everything that pisses you off, everything that makes you truly boil with rage, is just another obstacle standing in your path to gaming greatness - and when you reach an obstacle that you cannot yet bypass?

You train yourself until you're ready to conquer it.