You don't know who I am? YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM!? I'm the Dyslexic Jew that rode the oceans in search of the lost Ark of the river people! I was at the Battle of Slurpee Hill when general Fluffly McCuddles was struck down by Baron Dickhat. I was the man who took that picture of Lindsay Lohan's vagina, Tim the Every Thirsty! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME WITH OUT KNOWING OF MY MANY TOTALLY REAL ACCOMPLISHMENTS THAT I TOTALLY REALLY DID!
FULL DISCLOSURE: I am of the Jewish race, not the Jewish faith. Rather or not you believe Jewish to be a race or not is a different topic, but I want to make it clear that this article is not about the Jewish religion. It is simply about the representation of Jewish people in video games. Got it? Good.
After reading Mr.Holmes' article about black people in gaming and Benny Disco's about fat dudes, I figured I'd throw my own kippa into the ring and represent the Israe-LB.C with my own often stereotyped demographic, The Jews.
Quick history lessons for all you gentiles. A long time ago, God talked to some dude name Abraham and told him to make a lot of babies, so he did. Those babies went on to found the Jewish church. Those babies started to live in places other than their homes, and established thriving communities in almost every part of the world. This all happened around 3,000 years ago, and since then, the church has gone on to boast around 18 million followers. "But Pringles, you said this article was about video game. Why should I care about all this?" you might be asking yourself. The reason you should care is because of this spreadsheet I made using the most common tropes for Jewish charters in other media.
This chart shows us a few interesting things. The first is that the majority of the character on this list have shitty social skills. The only two that don't are B.J. *giggles* and Meryl (It can be argued that Meryl has the most severe social disorder in this whole list, but that's a different story). B.J. giggles doesn't really count though, because one: he doesn't really have a character, and two: he might not be Jewish.
That brings us to the second interesting thing about this chart. THERE ARE ONLY FIVE CHARTRES ON HERE THAT ARE REALLY JEWISH. minis B.J giggles who only has a Jewish sounding name, and Otacon who might not really be Jewish, that leaves us with only a hand full of charters who are bonified Bnai Yisraʾel. There are a few others out there that might be Jewish, but the fact that I had to look so hard just to find a few more "might nots" is just sad. The really mind boggling thing about all this is that I can not for the life of me think of a reason why. Remember that 18 million number I told you earlier? That's not a small number of people, and it's not like we're hiding in the shadows of society.
The real reason why this surprises me most, is because of how easy it is to write a stereotypical Jewish charter. All you need is a dude with a big nose that likes money. Maybe give him some allergies or some irrational fears. Then wrap it all up in some social anxiety and bam, you got yourself a supper easy to write for character. Given how lazy most of the game industry is when it comes to creating deep character[font=Arial][size=2](cough david cage cough) [/font][/size]it seems like there would at least be a few stero-rific Jews out there, but nope, none. Honestly, I would prefer being marginalized and stereotyped over just being flat out ignored.
The Third, and I think the most interesting, thing we can take away from this is who is making Jewish charters. The MG:S franchise has two(ish) and GTA:IV has three, one of whom is a main charter. I think this really speaks volumes about those companies and what they value. Rockstar is particularly impressive to me. They let a Jew be the leading man of one of their games AND they made him incredibly unique and really quite deep. Who had ever head of a hard core Jewish biker before The Lost And Damed came out? No one, because that didn't exist.
What do y'all think about Jewish people in games? Also, if you think I missed a charter feel free to let me know.