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You guys all fail: THE Best FPS
BlindsideDork | 12:21 PM on 06.10.2008 34 comments


There is no denying that crowning one game the best FPS can be pretty hard what with the haloez, other-half lifes, call of dooty, and other one word titles. But this one should be on all your lists and for good reason. It is just too epic not to!




I can't believe you guys all looked over this game when making your own top ten lists of (fail)FPS's. And by the way, this WAS released on the PC. So put that in your peace pipe and smoke it! Or smoke this...



Yeah buddy, that is some action! And sorry about the music, apparently that "band that shall not be mentioned" is the only song available for montages on video games with action/violence. Deal, you got to see some weapons and action. Not enough weapon pr0n for you? Fine...


Lovely. With 14 weapons, the likes of the Quad Rocket Launcher and the Particle Accelerator, how can this NOT be the best FPS ever? Oh, cause it is only singple player? I suppose I can let you guys slide if you guys whine about "multiplayer," or whatever that is, and let you include another beauty...





Oh yes! Epic... I mean the Cerebral Bore alone is enough for it to be in the top five, am I right? And if you are lame or too young to know what I am talking about, check this out.




Now THAT is what I call a headshot!

Not enough mayhem for you? Multiplayer not enough for you even though you could play as a Raptor? Well if you want the best there is in action with multi-playing, there is another (epic) route you could go...





This supported Widescreen btw!

Let's see the epic amazing thing that all games should bow to in action, shall we?



The only weapon missing is the Chestburster. Man, Turok had some awesome weapons. But regardless, still simply epic. Definitely should at least be on top of the list cause...cause I said so and that's what counts.


The only list that matters...

1. Turok
2. Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
3. Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
4. Team Fortress 2
5. Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
6. Turok: Rage Wars
7. Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
8. Turok 3: Shadow of Oblivion
9. Turok
10. Half Life 2 (Epi. 1 & 2)
11. Metroid Prime


Man, I need to play me some more Turok ASAP!



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33 comments | showing # 1 to 33
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-D-'s Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 12:25
-D-
Blindside hates f...

nevermind.
JACK of No Trades's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 12:28
JACK of No Trades
Turok 2 + Perfect Dark + CoD4 would = the best game ever.
WastelandTraveler's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 12:29
WastelandTraveler
blindside I love you lmao.. god I forgot how bad ass turok was hahaha.
Rockvillian's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 12:30
Rockvillian
I loved the puke arrows from one of those Turoks...

And your list is awesomer than Screw Attack's list, just for the mention of at least one Turok.
Hoygeit's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 12:30
Hoygeit
That list needs more Turok!
galagabug 's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 12:31
galagabug
you shoulda listed turok. this list is VOID.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 12:32
MrSadistic
Ugh, Turok was pretty fun but then the ending was like "wow wtf lol". Sorta like those movies where there's a lot going on towards the end then there's a freeze frame and it fades to the credits.

Turok 2 was decent, and from what little I've played of Turok 3 I thought it was fun as well.
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 12:38
Maurice Tan
Still no Deus Ex in that list, mister!
Aertyr's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 12:40
Aertyr
Yay for Jurassic Park with guns.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 12:41
blehman
Pshaw, you forgot this classic:



Hell, you could throw yellow snowballs in it.
NegFactor's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 12:41
NegFactor
I gotta say, Turok 2 was amazingly bad/fun multiplayer. I got some of my best laughs out of trying to climb ladders with raptors and the "fall downstairs" camera death.
SilverDragon1979's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 12:51
SilverDragon1979
Since Turok was released on the PC I will make no "fail" type comments. :-P

I will say that what I would really like to see is a game where I get to shoot Nazis that are riding on top of Dinosaurs, which came through a rift to another dimension I accidentally opened during a science experiment on a large ring world type structure. We could call it Halo Life: Call of Turok.
exanimo's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 12:51
exanimo
I have to hand it to the guy whoever made that video. The impossible control layout was well executed by him.
NotAZombie's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 12:53
NotAZombie
How did I forget TF2? Ok, Turok that's all well and good but that Rage Wars shit looked terrible.
bubuli's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 13:01
bubuli
um. no.
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 13:04
GuitarAtomik
I actually bought the N64 RAM pack for this game. The bow & Arrow and Cerebral Bore were awesome weapons. Good times.
Cowzilla3's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 13:09
Cowzilla3
hahaha! What about Turok 2 though? I hear that's pretty good.
Scape's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 13:17
Scape
I only remember the N64 Turok games as being OK...I've never played Rage Wars but it looks like a really shitty Unreal rip-off.
B-Radicate's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 13:22
B-Radicate
I actually had Rage Wars and loved it. At the time I didn't have a good enough PC for any of the PC FPS games, but Rage Wars satisfied my multiplayer combat hunger for a time.

The only one I played with an actual story was the one on PS2 that was supposed to "reinvent" the franchise and all it really did was destroy it. Painfully.

Oh well.
Anus Mcphanus's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 13:30
Anus Mcphanus
list needs mor eyes of gold
enfaw's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 13:38
enfaw
@SilverDragon1979

Add a tablespoon of Bioshock
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 13:38
Justice
@Blehman
Couldn't you also throw turkey bombs or something
Classic game.
SilverDragon1979's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 13:48
SilverDragon1979
Oops I forgot Bioshock. Let me try this again ...

The perfect FPS would be a game where I get to shoot Nazis that are riding on top of Dinosaurs, which came through a rift to another dimension I accidentally opened during a science experiment, that I conducted in an underwater objectivist-dystopian city, which exists on a large ring world type structure. We could call it Halo Life: Call of Turokshock.
F Whipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 13:52
F Whipple
Turok 2 was amazing. It had the best weapons ever in a video game as well as the ability to ride a fucking Triceratops equipped with rocket launchers
JamnOnTheOne's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 13:52
JamnOnTheOne
Sorry Dude..."Rise of the Triad" will always be the #1 deathmatch title.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 14:39
AngelsDontBurn
Needs moar Shadow Warriow and Blood!
Genfuyung's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 14:41
Genfuyung
Fuck the new Turok. RAGE WARS WAS AMAZING. I had more parties centered around rage wars than any other video game including Halo. 2 words...Cerebral Bore. Is any explanation even necessary? Sitting next to a friend on the couch and boring into his virtual skull. Thats a good feeling.
Elitechief27's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 15:34
Elitechief27
That list is so true man. What about TF2 though? That's all I ever see you play online. We should play toghether sometime
13thDragon's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 16:07
13thDragon
God dammit, now I really feel like playing the old Turoks. They were indeed lots of fun for their time.
SLiFE's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 16:11
SLiFE
Rage Wars was the shit.
Period.
bleep's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 16:12
bleep
DUDE! your list is missing something
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