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BlindsideDork avatar 11:27 AM on 04.01.2008  (server time)
PS3, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways...

PlayStation 3, a bleeding technology console that is familiar to just about everyone. More than just because of its older brethern, its price is not the only place this big box falls short. Completely or partially?

1. Wait a you don't want me to eat or live just so I can afford you? I've come across high-priced hookers who cost less than you. Yeah, so you have the BruRays, that format won, and your price dropped, but I still am eating Ramen like a madman over that chunk you took out of my pocket.
Shopp'd picture by -D-.

PS2. You started the trend of backwards compatibility, how dare you take that away from us. We have grown dependent on it since it allows gamers to get rid of our old consoles if we choose to. And abandon you have, why? To force us to give you more money on possible future downloads. There are very few games I want to purchase twice. First the price, now this? Have you no shame?!

3. Mine is so much larger than yours! Isn't it? If you tell me I can run my games in 720p and 1080i with the default running at the highest level, why the heck is the game running in 720p? There is no excuse for this shrinkage. I could be greatful it isn't at a pitiful 480p, but if the game can go big why doesn't it?

4. Never did I imagine that I was purchasing a mummy or old relic. The old joke is that you have to dust off a system you don't play that much. Well regardless if you play the PS3 much or not, you have to clean that dirty girl off. It has to be the young, fresh, shiny that attracts the dead ringers, right? Mine is due for a good rub down today actually. I dub thee, Sir Magnetic of Dust-alot.
Shopp'd picture by item39+1.

5. It's a cold one over here as well. You think with the money this puppy costs, they could've thrown in a blanket to keep it warm. I thought only Cold Bears like to freeze. Though not frequent, this ugly side of the box has appeared and at the worst possible times. It is like the PS3 knows that it should freeze during loading screens just to make you think, "this is an epic load." Well it is an epic load, an epic load of failure!

6. On the other side of the spectrum, this puppy could heat your cardboard box all winter! It is about as your mom in the middle of August in Cancun. Mmmmm, sorry...where was I? Maybe they did throw the blanket in there, along with a space heater. Although I am not one to handle black boxes often, I've gotten near it and nearly singed my eyebrows off! I think they forgot to put a warning label on that sucker.

7. I love the way you shake me, baby. "You spin me right round baby, right round..." well you use to. And then you stopped. What did I ever do to you to make you stop loving me?! Bring back the love, bring back the vibes! April 15 is way too long to wait for loving in my hands...anyways, two consoles with rumble only to have the third without it is just a let down. But the problem is rectified and I won't have to punish you for being so bad, or will I?

8. Load Me Up cause initial delays create later delays? Loading should be a breeze, right? If I am pre-installing a bunch of MBs/GBs on the system to help with loading, why am I still getting loading screens? Is the BluRay player making it run slower? There is only so many times you can read a magazine while in wait and I am inpatient, we fanboys always are.

And how could I forget the most important reason why I hate it, PS3 is frickin' Emo! Isn't that enough to piss anyone off? If that thought alone doesn't do it for you, look at what makes it emo which more than makes up for it.

Heaviness and size, is that a reasonable offense? Nah...although it is something to consider if you weakness can't handle the heft. This added up doesn't seem like much but some points have swayed some people from getting this device, or are there other reasons? This doesn't even include software inside the hunk of dawkness.

If you give gamers something from the start that we regularly enjoy, why the heck do you think we won't want it anymore? What kind of brain tank do you have over there? Don't be STUUUUPID! Give us what you promised us from the start and don't take it away.

PS: If you are going to park a brick and get bent out of shape over a BLOG and problems with a console, GTFO. Cereal. As Workmeng says, if you don't bring up the problems, they won't be solved.

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