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PS3, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways...
BlindsideDork | 11:27 AM on 04.01.2008 26 comments


PlayStation 3, a bleeding technology console that is familiar to just about everyone. More than just because of its older brethern, its price is not the only place this big box falls short. Completely or partially?





1. Wait a minute...so you don't want me to eat or live just so I can afford you? I've come across high-priced hookers who cost less than you. Yeah, so you have the BruRays, that format won, and your price dropped, but I still am eating Ramen like a madman over that chunk you took out of my pocket.
Shopp'd picture by -D-.


PS2. You started the trend of backwards compatibility, how dare you take that away from us. We have grown dependent on it since it allows gamers to get rid of our old consoles if we choose to. And abandon you have, why? To force us to give you more money on possible future downloads. There are very few games I want to purchase twice. First the price, now this? Have you no shame?!


3. Mine is so much larger than yours! Isn't it? If you tell me I can run my games in 720p and 1080i with the default running at the highest level, why the heck is the game running in 720p? There is no excuse for this shrinkage. I could be greatful it isn't at a pitiful 480p, but if the game can go big why doesn't it?




4. Never did I imagine that I was purchasing a mummy or old relic. The old joke is that you have to dust off a system you don't play that much. Well regardless if you play the PS3 much or not, you have to clean that dirty girl off. It has to be the young, fresh, shiny that attracts the dead ringers, right? Mine is due for a good rub down today actually. I dub thee, Sir Magnetic of Dust-alot.
Shopp'd picture by item39+1.


5. It's a cold one over here as well. You think with the money this puppy costs, they could've thrown in a blanket to keep it warm. I thought only Cold Bears like to freeze. Though not frequent, this ugly side of the box has appeared and at the worst possible times. It is like the PS3 knows that it should freeze during loading screens just to make you think, "this is an epic load." Well it is an epic load, an epic load of failure!


6. On the other side of the spectrum, this puppy could heat your cardboard box all winter! It is about as your mom in the middle of August in Cancun. Mmmmm, sorry...where was I? Maybe they did throw the blanket in there, along with a space heater. Although I am not one to handle black boxes often, I've gotten near it and nearly singed my eyebrows off! I think they forgot to put a warning label on that sucker.




7. I love the way you shake me, baby. "You spin me right round baby, right round..." well you use to. And then you stopped. What did I ever do to you to make you stop loving me?! Bring back the love, bring back the vibes! April 15 is way too long to wait for loving in my hands...anyways, two consoles with rumble only to have the third without it is just a let down. But the problem is rectified and I won't have to punish you for being so bad, or will I?


8. Load Me Up cause initial delays create later delays? Loading should be a breeze, right? If I am pre-installing a bunch of MBs/GBs on the system to help with loading, why am I still getting loading screens? Is the BluRay player making it run slower? There is only so many times you can read a magazine while in wait and I am inpatient, we fanboys always are.


And how could I forget the most important reason why I hate it, PS3 is frickin' Emo! Isn't that enough to piss anyone off? If that thought alone doesn't do it for you, look at what makes it emo which more than makes up for it.


Heaviness and size, is that a reasonable offense? Nah...although it is something to consider if you weakness can't handle the heft. This added up doesn't seem like much but some points have swayed some people from getting this device, or are there other reasons? This doesn't even include software inside the hunk of dawkness.

If you give gamers something from the start that we regularly enjoy, why the heck do you think we won't want it anymore? What kind of brain tank do you have over there? Don't be STUUUUPID! Give us what you promised us from the start and don't take it away.


PS: If you are going to park a brick and get bent out of shape over a BLOG and problems with a console, GTFO. Cereal. As Workmeng says, if you don't bring up the problems, they won't be solved.



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22 comments | showing # 1 to 22
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king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:31
king3vbo
Prepare for incoming fanboy hate!
-D-'s Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:32
-D-
I like the communication features in Condemned 2 multiplayer.

Oh wait, that's a lie.
shipero's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:35
shipero
That first picture made me giggle like an idiot and I'm not sure why.
Cowzilla3's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:36
Cowzilla3
Yea for rumble coming! I don't have a PS3 but i'm happy for those who do. Nice write up meng.
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:36
Maurice Tan
I condone this message. It's also destroying the fabric of our society!
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:41
MaxVest
I'm gonna park my bricks all over this blog.

I can relate to some of those, but I've never had it freeze, nor does mine run all that hot.

But what I will complain about is the lack of bug-testing on PSN downloads. The Super Puzzle Fighter II update adds the special feature of randomly rebooting your console, and I've already bitched about how the recent 2.20 update broke media streaming (other formats are flaky as well).
BlackSheep's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:42
BlackSheep
you forgot about how it only comes with composite cables :)

480i straight out of the box!
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:42
Snaileb
"it should freeze during loading screens just to make you think, "this is an epic load." Well it is an epic load, an epic load of failure!"

I admit, I laughed alot. Especially since I say that during Smash Bros. load screens.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:43
MrSadistic
Video games are overrated. Physical fitness is where it's at.
BlindsideDork's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:44
BlindsideDork
I admit that I am but one man doing his best to trash each and every console. Hardware only!
shipero's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:49
shipero
@MaxVest

The heat's not too noticeable in a large room, but when I had mine in my bedroom, between it and my Wii the place was like a damn oven.
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:49
Justice
Excellent article.
Hoygeit's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:51
Hoygeit
HATE HATE HATE HATE!
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:52
Y0j1mb0
The PS3 is GARBAGE! Plus you can't get Achievements for it!!

Jaguar FTW.
shipero's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:55
shipero
@Y0j1mb0

Jaguar sucks. Tiger Handhelds 4eva!
Shin Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:56
Shin Oni
yea you forgot the composite argument. Sony is going all crazy talking about 720p - 1080p yet you get shitty ass composite cables...something that is nowhere near supporting anything about 480i.

and speaking of 1080p....why the hell are they pushing 1080p yet half of their games out are at highest, 720p? the 360 joined the 1080p race late yet almost all their games out after the Elite's release are 1080p. Games on both 360 and PS3 should both have the highest resolution. So what's the problem sony?

and this is more of a problem with all consoles....where the fuck are my different color systems at launch? You know people are wanting difference now. Use the fucking brain and make different colors at launch.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 12:18
Samit Sarkar
I’m still peeved that I’m going to have to pay $5 extra for a feature in a controller that should’ve been there at launch. Also, yeah, the damn thing makes my room a furnace. I always have to have a window open.
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 12:24
Kryptinite
Hoygeit wins.
pedrovay2003's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 13:06
pedrovay2003
Honestly, I think this generation EVERY console is full of problems. You gonna do one of these for the Wii? I enjoyed both this and the 360 one. :D
Fanart Fighter's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 16:59
Fanart Fighter
No backwards compatibility? Talk about backwards.
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/31/2009 11:47
RiotMonster
I love these "hate" blogs..
Brilliant.
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