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NO MOAR KRAKEN!
BlindsideDork | 1:44 PM on 01.15.2009 24 comments




Honestly, I had not heard of a Kraken before the 2006 film Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Perhaps if I wasn't forced into watching it on a date with a lady this wouldn't be such a big deal. But I did watch it unfortunately and it has left a bad taste in my mouth. Little did I know it would haunt me for a long time afterwards.

It now seems nearly impossible to play a new game without coming across a boss battle featuring some sort of sea creature with tentacles labeled Kraken. It's all because darn movie and video game developers jumped onto the fad. I personally can't stand it when I play three games in a row and they all have this creature in it.

The first game I noticed him appearing in was Resistance 2. My first reaction was, "oh it has the same name, but it is just a sea creature, no worries." I went on and killed it. It wasn't too stand out and it seemed a little different from what I remembered. But usually the first time you fight a creature you don't mind.




The next game that I came across was Gears of War 2. It didn't help that the games came out in the same week as Resistance 2. Well of course there was a Kraken in it. Only difference is you went inside its mouth to kill it which doesnt make a whole lot of sense but whatever. Two games in one week, kind of pushing it if you ask me.

But wait a minute, there's more. Two games that came out during around this time that no one played. The first game was Legendary. It wasn't that type of game by all means, that is just it's name. And in this title you fight a Kraken. And the other one, let's you "fight" a Kraken in a swimsuit that wedges between your butt cheeks.




I did say notice up above because little did I know that games that I love in my past featured this creature. Perhaps I didn't notice or they didn't feature an in-game character shouting the name Kraken 2038 times in one level God of War 2 had this boss with a pillar fight. One of my favorite RPGs of all time that actually got me back into that genre, Golden Sun, featured a boss known as a Kraken. Even Sword of Mana contained a Kraken boss which I completely forgot about. And how can I forget the Final Fantasy Krakens like Final Fantasy Advance, Final Fantasy III, and Final Fantasy IX These aren't the only games to feature it but you get the idea.

Seriously stop this game developers! Sure there were some oldies in there but did you see how many recent games came out that featured a Kraken? And it doesn't take a few months to make a game. If a game came out in or around 2008, guess how long it took them? Probably around two years to make the game. Hmm, that's right about when Pirates 2 came out. So basically I blame that movie for the surge of lack of creativity in the bosses. Sure they were dealt with in differen ways, but the same results could've been achieve with a different type of boss. Been there, done that, let's get some freshness here.




If you don't believe me that this is an overused creature, GameInformer compiled a list of Kraken used in games. And guess what the name of the name of the giant creatures in a game released after the Pirates of the Carribbean 2 came out is called? Other names before the movie are Crusher and Giant Squid! I rest my case.

The point of this ranting is to address an issue and make it clear to the public. It is a very simple concept that is easy to comprehend. I just hope the people will understand and follow through. Johnny Depp is a Kraken and needs to never be used in any way, shape, or form.



Oh, and also...


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24 comments | showing # 1 to 24
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galagabug 's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 13:49
galagabug
what about phil mckraken?
bhive01's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 13:50
bhive01
Cthulhu would be pleased.
Hoygeit's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 13:51
Hoygeit
Krakens are the new breakable wooden boxes of video games?
BlindsideDork's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 13:51
BlindsideDork
How about I Kraken your head open and Phil it with Turok?
GoS-CPT-Stewart's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 14:01
GoS-CPT-Stewart
What about Zak McKracken?
BlindsideDork's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 14:05
BlindsideDork
Am I going to have to Kraken this bottle to pieces, put it in a Zak, and whack it over your head?
Dimly's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 14:06
Dimly
I have noticed this also. It seems when a developer needs something "new" and "epic", they feel they can't loose with a big boss and water physics.

Why are all the other mythological beasts getting shafted?
BlindsideDork's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 14:07
BlindsideDork
Griffon got some decent "limelight" in Legendary...
zombiekiller13's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 14:20
zombiekiller13
Wow...didn't notice that until now...

I've known about Krakens since my dad had me watch Clash of the Titans with him when I was little (jeez, just looked it up and found it was released in 1981). He really liked mythology, which was weird because he looks like a biker and works in construction, and is not some little geeky guy.

Secret Kraken fact: The awesome band Clutch has a song called "Release the Kraken". Great song.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 14:57
Jonathan Holmes
@ GOS- I love you.
Qraze's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 15:21
Qraze
quit yer bitchin, it didn't ruin the game.
brosef's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 15:35
brosef
*agrees with ZombieKiller*

BLINDSIDEDORK, You really need to check out Clash of the Titans, the first and best (repeated) use of the Krakken.

- "Release the Krakken!!!"
- "No! Not... the Krakken!!!"
- "Yes, the Krakken!!! Release the Krakken!!!"
Usedtabe's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 15:42
Usedtabe
Yeah, clash of the titans has an awesome Krakken scene.
zombie lover's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 16:31
zombie lover
Medussa>Kraken
Puppy Licks's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 16:38
Puppy Licks
I suppose you hate manticores too :P
Gantz's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 16:57
Gantz

Kraken =D
Atlas's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 17:11
Atlas
Dont forget about Fable.

FAAAAYBULLLL
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 17:13
AgentMOO
You're kraken me up, Adam.
SnakeDude4Life's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 17:42
SnakeDude4Life
Cthulhu is waay cooler.

Aziel13's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 18:11
Aziel13
Cthulhu
should have his own game
I mean aside from the one on Xbox
Wake Up Sammy's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 19:37
Wake Up Sammy
The Kraken was in Earthbound as well. Holy crap that's over 10 years of Kraken in gaming!
10BobMarleys's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2009 21:45
10BobMarleys
A Krakken good read, old bean.
SalParadise's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 04:16
SalParadise
Wow, all this talk of Kraken's and no one mentioned Final Fantasy 1? He was one of the 4 fiends along with Tiamat, Lich, and Marilith. So that would make it at least 20 years now that Kraken has been in mainstream gaming. At least for alot of us mid to late-20 year olds, that would be our 1st clash with the overgrown octopus I'm sure.
BlindsideDork's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/16/2009 07:51
BlindsideDork
@Salparadise

Isn't Final Fantasy Advance = Final Fantasy 1?
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