Quantcast
Destructoid - BlindsideDork's Community Blog




About Me
Gamer Profile
3DS friend code:
Steam:
Battle:
PSN:
Mii: 1581-0235-4545-0438
Gamertag: BlindsideDork
Following (42)
Aaron Mxy Yost
Aerox
B-Radicate
bhive01
BlueWolf72
Brian Szabelski
Chad Concelmo
charliesuh
Colette Bennett
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain
Cowzilla3
CrAnKeDHigH - Avatar setup pending
Dale North
DrachulaX
DtoidBaltimoreDC
galagabug
Gameboi
grrlaction
Hamza CTZ Aziz
HarassmentPanda
Hitogoroshi
Hoygeit
itemforty
Jim Sterling
Jonathan Holmes
Joseph Leray
kadosho
Knivy
MaxVest
Nick Chester
Niero
Procyon
Rockvillian
Savant
Shin Oni
SWE3tMadness
Takeshi
tazarthayoot
The GHost
Topher Cantler
TrailerParkJesus
Zen Albatross
MAGFest: Tales of Knives
BlindsideDork | 12:30 PM on 01.08.2008 8 comments


MAGFest 6 is over as you may or may not know and you might see some stories about it fluttering around in the CBlogs here and there. But I decide to bring you three tales from the mysterious plant-inspired character, Knives. I present you...



The Tales of Knives



The Magician

Out of nowhere the individual appeared. Grin from ear to ear and a jacket that could cover your body! One of the most noticeable things about the person was his disappearing act. One minute he is there, the next he isn't. But you had to be cautious when turning around...he could be right behind you! Did he venture off on his own or was he stolen? No one knows, but thankfully he always returned in one piece and assumedly violated.

Might not be too bad, huh? Neat little trick, you say? Think again! This makes things most troublesome when you are trying to do something with others and the magician because we all know that no current cell phones can dial international phone calls the magical land spells and strings (aka Tijuana).



The Player

Some people pull skills out from nowhere, much like how they appear. A creature stood on the hill with a notable skill, jack of all trades in video game mechanics. It was used by this creature thoroughly. There was Smashing, tea-bagging in Rings 3, Dancing his heart out, and bombing things away, oh my! Fighting and surging through the legions of enemies, the creature comes out on top. But all is not so happy these days for the creature has a weakness. It is said when some Gears are put int front of said creature with a side of Blindsideness, it is unable to function. This was found and used to defeat the beast.

Fear not though, for the beast returns. It has another skill and it deals with the female of the species. After a vanishing, this creature was found wooing the opposite sex with video game competitednous. Not to disturb the beast its nature, it was left alone.

Later that night there were talks of whether the creature would be seen again. Out of the blue it appeared in the entrance way and it was not alone. What's this? Did it bring back the female of the species to tear us limb to limb? No, intead it was another male in wait and pressed inside our fortress. After they had their fill of alcohol consumption, marshmallow throwing, and lulz, the new male offered its temporary abode since there was an empty bed to the creature for further consumption. It was accepted and the two were swept off into the night, never to been seen again. That is until the next morning when something was found laying in the corner...it was the beast.



The Mexican

What a crazy man. He can put anybody to shame. A drink here and a drink there leads to an empty bottle of vodka by himself. Not only that, but he is the one to push the drink into the hands of others.

Not satisfied with an empty bottle of Vodka, he moved onto the bottle of Jack Daniels. Passed to his new comrade he started to chug it straight from the bottle. I noticed this intake of alcohol during my encounter with him. I ignornantly called out, "you are an alcoholic." And his replyl will haunt me for the rest of my life...

I am not an alcoholic, I am Mexican.

I was shocked, and in my stunnedness, my face was ripped off and sucked in Jack Daniels. I will never be the same again...




And that includes the first volume of The Tales of Knives.



Is this post awesome? Vote it up!

0



Post a comment! You can also post a photo below:

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

7 comments | showing # 1 to 7
prev next

shipero's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/08/2008 12:38
shipero
Truly he must be of the gods.
Rockvillian's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/08/2008 12:48
Rockvillian
Planting a box of tic tacs on his person could be the only way to usurp his magical disappearing powers.

But wait, he could use them on the ladies! ARGH and confound it!
Cowzilla3's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/08/2008 12:50
Cowzilla3
His disapearing acts were things of true magic and while his marhmallow throwing antics were never truly appreciated they will always be remebered.

I guess we'll never know how that girl turned into that guy or why he didn't bother to climb into a bed and instead slept on the floor, huddled in a corner.
Hitogoroshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/08/2008 12:58
Hitogoroshi
Yeah what happened to that girl anyway.
Knivy's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/08/2008 13:04
Knivy
Stupid girl's brother came and took her away saying they would leave early in the morning and shall go to bed.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/08/2008 15:52
king3vbo
BAH HA HA Shipero wins an internets
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/08/2008 23:10
Bob Muir
Amazing.
prev next

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!