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ChillyBilly's blog

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ChillyBilly avatar 4:37 PM on 08.18.2014  (server time)
I'm not going to PAX, because I suck. Adopt my avatar, please.

Happy Monday! (it's Monday, right?)

It's that time of year again, "PAX avatar adoption" time! As usual, I will not be attending PAX this year. I believe this makes.....every year now that I've missed PAX. Yea, that sounds about right, I have never been to PAX. Ever.

I have been fortunate enough though to attend the past five PAX events "virtually" thanks to the awesome people of Destructoid, and I am hoping this year continues that wonderful tradition of me sucking and not being able to go to PAX myself.

I am here today, to give you five solid reasons why you, yes you, the reader should take my avatar to PAX with you.

Number 1 - I'm pet friendly.

True story - I love all animals, and if you take my avatar to PAX with you, you may just see how much animals love me. Fun fact: if you show my avatar to a small puppy at or around the PAX event, you will make a friend for life.

Number 2 - I'll help your dear, beloved grandmother across the street.

I love helping people, and if you give me the chance, I will help you. Have a grandmother or grandfather who needs help crossing the street? I'll help. Need your grass cut? Yea, I'll probably do that too, because I'm a swell guy who likes to help.

Number 3 - I can grow a pretty wicked beard.

I know my current avatar may not show it, but I can grow a pretty wicked beard. Did you know, that by taking my avatar to PAX with you, you can also grow a pretty wicked beard. Careful not to spill any Kool-Aid on your beard though, especially the strawberry kind, it stains.

Number 4 - I'll help tutor you and your friends in school.

Let's face it, school can be tough. From time to time we all need a little help. If you take my avatar to PAX with you, I will help you with math, science, social studies, psychology, biochemical name it! My avatar is a genius when it comes to this school stuff, and you'll be a smarter person just by having it with you!

Number 5 - I will protect you with my life.

"Cons" and big events like PAX can be pretty scary, especially if this is your first time. Take it from me. The first time my avatar was taken to PAX, it was scared silly. The noises, the people, the lines, the $10.00 hamburgers and $8.00 waters! It was madness! If you take my avatar to PAX with you, I promise to ensure your safety. And isn't the piece of mind of knowing that you'll be safe all weekend worth it? I know it would be to me.

I hope this blogged has helped to guide you to a final decision on whether or not to take my avatar to PAX with you. From helping when in need, to growing facial hair, my avatar can do it all.

Thank you.

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