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Some say BigPopa was not born, but put together using the body parts of the greatest pimps ever to be born. Like some kind of freak zombie, sent here to roam the world. To play video games, terrorize women, and consume the largest amount of whiskey as is humanly possible.

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Investigative Report #1 - The Secret
BigPopaGamer | 10:07 AM on 01.10.2008 23 comments


Ladies and gentlemen I thank you for first of all clicking on my blog to read what this humble gamer has to say. Hopefully what you will read will astound you, move you, and perhaps actually entertain you. So sit back, relax, and enjoy what is sure to be a revealing editorial about our leader, Niero.

Destructoid.com. Gaming haven or something more sinister? This website, founded by one Mr. Niero Destructoid, is an interesting mix of gamers. From the great editors that not only write about games but actually play those games with us, to the bloggers that are actually good at what they do. Even the forums, though they have taken a hit lately, are still fun to peruse when you are looking for a laugh. And of course we have our leader, Niero or as some call him, Mr. Destructoid, the playboy of the gaming world. Don't believe me, look at this picture:



But this gamer has dug a little deeper into the background of Niero, the founder of this great website, and has found some disturbing information.

Back in 2006, Mr. Destructoid was just a normal gamer who wanted to go to E3 and decided to begin a website as a prank to see if he could get into to E3. Low and behold, it worked and before Niero knew what he had created, the site began to explode in popularity and members. Here's Niero at that E3:




What began as a prank has become a legitimate presence in the independent gaming culture. Niero has this to say about his website's success. "The company attributes its success to its casual approach to gaming news, its disruptive robot brand/personality, and staffing everyday bloggers that truly know and love gaming." Before he knew it, Niero's joke had become "one of the largest independent gaming communities online, owned and operated by hardcore gamers across the US and UK."





So all is fine and dandy in Dtoid land right? Not so fast. After going down south for a weekend of fun and debauchery, I met someone at a beachside bar in Georgia that has literally turned my opinion of Niero upside down. His name is PCToid and he is Niero's brother. Here's the only pic I could get him to let me take.



P.C. Toid, as he prefers to be called, is the younger brother of Niero. Here is some of his story. P.C. Toid is 2 years younger than Niero and works as a garbage man in Georgia. He has never attained the success that Niero has and, since he is a robot, he has never truly fit in with his human neighbors, unlike Niero who found acceptance from the gaming community.

Why has he not come to light earlier? Why hasn't Niero told us about him and shared with us his story? Is it because he is ashamed of him? Who is this P.C.? A rejected member of Niero's family, or some dude with a box on his head?

This is all the facts this reporter has uncovered so far, but hopefully I will be able to get an exclusive interview with Niero soon to explain this little mystery. I'm also planning another trip down south to try and find P.C. again.

I will keep you updated as more of this story is revealed. Until next time, this is BigPopa, signing off.



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22 comments | showing # 1 to 22
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balth's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 10:23
balth
O.M.G.

Niero, you bastard!
Mason Rhade's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 10:28
Mason Rhade
Dun Dun Duuuuhhhhh
The plot thickens

great post Popa.
ShadowXOR's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 10:35
ShadowXOR
Is that really Niero wearing a Joystiq shirt? Maybe I don't know as much about the history of Destructoid as I thought I did...
Hitogoroshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 10:38
Hitogoroshi
*gasp* we never knew!
BlindsideDork's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 10:39
BlindsideDork
Off topic...I feel like I can't go to your blog while I am at work cause it seems extremely NSFW!
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 10:41
king3vbo
EPIC LULZ! Im risking my job by going to your blog, but it was worth it
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 10:41
king3vbo
CLARIFICATION: Because of the boobies
Neonie's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 10:41
Neonie
Very interesting. I will be reading the other investigative reports you make.
BigPopaGamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 10:47
BigPopaGamer
I've taken out some of the boobs so now I only have my two favorite girls on the left hand side. Sorry guys, didn't mean to make it so NSFW for you.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 11:01
Snaileb
hahahaha this is hilarious.

Hey, that pic showing "Niero" in the 2006 E3 event, I seriously doubt that's Niero, and just some kid wearing his helmet. I remember, because Niero is built like a tank, and scares the living piss out of me.
BigPopaGamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 11:03
BigPopaGamer
Shhh, Snail, you are ruining my credibility here man.
ShadowXOR's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 11:04
ShadowXOR
@Snaileb:

Yeah, in the pictures that I've seen of Niero he looks pretty fucking intimidating, he also dresses better.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 11:05
Snaileb
Sorry, I just wanted people to know that our Robot Mascot can crush cars with his pectoral muscles. Or whatever robots have to use to crush cars.
BigPopaGamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 11:10
BigPopaGamer
Oh, I would never put the strength of Niero into question. I was afraid of P.C. when I met him, since he's the same size as our Robot Mascot.
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 11:42
Brian Szabelski
Dun dun dun! Controversy ensues!

And don't forget, he's got a bastard son, too.

Virtualgirl's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 12:15
Virtualgirl
Poor Poor PCToid...
Ascythopicism's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 15:25
Ascythopicism
No, fuck them! Readers should know that BigPopa's blog will be NSFW. Once you start censoring the boobage, what's next?
Ascythopicism's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 15:34
Ascythopicism
No, fuck them! Readers should know that BigPopa's blog will be NSFW. Once you start censoring the boobage, what's next?
Spartacus's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 17:21
Spartacus
Well if I were Niero, I probably wouldn't be talking about my personal life that much. And I doubt he's ashamed of his brother, he's just not telling the users of his (amaaazing!) site about his family life.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/10/2008 20:24
Bob Muir
Niero would never wear a Joystiq shirt. That's just madness.
dronkmunk's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/11/2008 21:03
dronkmunk
Just curious...what are your thoughts on...
tits?
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