Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for coming today. I have called this press conference here to discuss rumors of the next major project my studio is working on. Since the debut of Mass Effect, we have seen that the support from not only the fans of the games these movies are based upon, but non-gamers who know a good movie when they see one. So let me go ahead and put your fears to rest.
Talking Robot Films has been planning a trilogy of movies that will be released within the next three years. We have teamed up with New Line Cinemas and WETA to produce these films, since they have experience in the fantasy department. I have no doubt you are all interested to see the movie we are working on so without further delay, I give you......
Now please, please, hold your questions till I can explain a little more about our plans for this incredible game. The fans of the series are no doubt interested deeply in what I am about to tell you so please let me finish. Final Fantasy VI, as the game is called, is a very large game based in a steampunk world. The story is so big, that we have had to break this down into three films, the first of which will be out next year. The first will introduce the characters to you, begin the actual story and end with the climatic battle of Narshe. My plans are to stick to the original story as much as possible, although some things have been changed to allow for time constraints. I apologize to the fans first of all for these changes, but I hope they understand that they are for the better.
Let me first say that it isn't easy to create a movie and find the appropriate actors to fill those characters when the original game is in 2D and the 3D cutscenes are not very realistic looking people. I have done the best I can though and hopefully you will be able to see these people in the roles you know and love.
Now, let me introduce you to the cast of the first installment. Ladies and gentlement, gamers of all ages, I present to you, the cast of VI.
Christina Ricci as Terra Branford
Terra was a little harder to cast than I thought but Ms. Ricci has the look and after her last few movies, the acting ability as well. Terra is a young, innocent woman in the beginning but by the third film, you will see the full maturation of that character. Because of this we needed an actress who could look both young and mature as well as a bit of an exotic feel.
Her last major film was Black Snake Moan with Samuel L. Jackson.
Ryan Reynolds as Locke Cole
Locke Cole is the free-spirited, adventurer and thief. He travels the world searching for treasure and women. He's also a smug, arrogant smart-ass and honestly, I have complete faith that the smug, arrogant smart-ass Mr. Reynolds will do him justice. Plus, here's a little eye candy for the ladies.
Ryan is best known for his roles in Smokin' Aces, The Amityville Horror, Blade:Trinity and Van Wilder.
Naomi Watts as Celes Chere
Celes Chere is a very cold, distant person when we meet her, and it takes the warmth of Locke's personality to begin to bring this out. I felt that after seeing her in both of The Ring films, as well as I Heart Huckabees and Eastern Promises, that she would fill the role nicely.
Thomas Jane as Edgar Roni Figaro
Ah Edgar, the consummate playboy of our little tale.
Mr. Jane is best known for his role in The Punisher. His other major films include The Mist, The Thin Red Line and Face/Off.
Adam Baldwin as Sabin Rene Figaro
We felt that because Sabin and Edgar are brothers, we needed two actors that 1. could at least look somewhat similar and believable and 2. could interact well together. I'm pleased to say that after seeing them work, they do indeed fill the parts. Sabin for his part, will not be that involved of a character, preferring to let his fists do the talking for him.
Mr. Baldwin is probably best known with these fans as Jayne from Firefly and Serenity. He was also in Independence Day, Drillbit Taylor, and Full Metal Jacket.
Daniel Day-Lewis as Cyan Garamonde
In recent years, Mr. Lewis has become a very deep actor, capable of playing many different roles. Cyan is a distraught, haunted and wounded character and he never truly heals through the entire story. Mr. Lewis, I feel, is more than capable of fulfilling the emotional requirements of this character as well the swordplay. And of course, he definitely can pull the epic mustache off.
Mr. Lewis' credentials include There Will Be Blood, Last of the Mohicans and Gangs of New York.
Ernie Reyes Jr. as Gau
Yes I know what many of you will say about this character but please, read the plot changes at the end to see why we chose Mr. Reyes as Gau.
If you don't remember him, he was the little guy that beat the shit out of The Rock in The Rundown.
John Malkovich as Banon
This just seemed to epic to pass up.
Mark Hamill as Kefka
Yes ladies and gentlemen we have Mr. Skywalker himself on board for this project. In fact, it took hardly any convincing to get Mark on board. It's probably cuz he has nothing better to do. But for those of you in doubt, remember, he played the Joker on the older animated Batman series. I don't think he will have any problems pulling this psycopathic character off.
Oh, here's a little preview for you too, courtesy of Mr. Reaprar from the art department.
Character changes:
We here at the film studio understands the necessity of remaining true to the original characters and most of the changes have to do with creating a believable world with believable characters. As such, things like Sabin's Blitzes, Cyan's Sword Techniques and other abilities will be shown, but not at the same level as you played in the game. Which means that Sabin will not be throwing energy beams out of his hands or Cyan will not create black holes for enemies to disappear into. Magic will still be present in all it's glory.
The main character change will be with Gau himself. Instead of the wild youth that you find in the game, he will be the leader of a tribe of warriors that hunt on the Veldt.
Plot Changes:
Now the reason this has to be a trilogy is the sheer size and length of the story. The movie will open and proceed much as it did in the game, with a few changes, most notably after the heroes travel down river and are separated. This also means that while the party will be attacked by Ultros, they will not have a prolonged battle with him nor will he follow them around the world, causing mischief. The first movie will end with the battle of Narshe and Terra's disappearance.
The main change in plot will be Sabin and Cyan's adventure on the Veldt. My associate producers, Excremento and Mason Rhade, discussed this for a time and we all agreed that the Veldt sequence will need to be shortened considerably. With the time constraints in mind, Gau, instead of following around like a lost puppy, will lead his tribe and capture Sabin and Cyan. After defeating Gau in combat and sparing his life, Sabin offers to take Gau with him. Gau will accept the offer, hoping to learn more about being a warrior from Sabin. They will then return to Narshe via ship instead of the Snake Trench.
Hopefully you can understand the changes we have made are necessary to keep the story together and proceed at an even pace. Also expect for characters special abilities to receive parts in the movie that you will recognize but still remain realistic.
Those four words, along with that image, should send shivers down any self-respecting comic geek the world over. Unless you have been living in a cave without television and/or internet, you know that Iron Man is the start of the summer movie season. And let me say that if this movie is the start, we are in for an epic summer. Now befor I go on, there is one requirement from all of you while you read this blog. You must listen to the video/song below as you read it.
Clicked play yet?
Good.
Iron Man
Runtime: 126 minutes
Rated: PG-13
Directed by: Jon Favreau
I know everyone else will be geeking out over this movie and with good reason. Iron Man brings us everything we want in a comic-book superhero movie. This movie really helped me wash the bad taste of Spider-Man 3 and Xmen 3 out of my mouth. I also know that everyone will be writing their reviews of this movie. But I know you come for the titties and stay hopefully for my opinions. If not then just look at boobs and be happy, but here's my opinion of Iron Man.
It fucking rocked.
Thank you, that is all.
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......Nah, I'm just kidding.
Iron Man, for those of you that don't know the background of the comics, is the creation of Tony Stark, the genius, playboy millionaire that makes his living selling and developing weapons. His father, Howard Stark, started the company Stark Industries and Tony takes over after his death. His life radically changes after he is captured by terrorists that demand he builds them a weapon but instead he builds his first Iron Man suit and busts out, killing and burning everything in his way. The only injury he sustained is some shrapnel that penetrated to his heart but is kept from actually entering his heart by an electromagnet set into his chest. When he gets back to the states he of course improves his design far above the original design and decides to fight the very people his company has been selling weapons to under the table.
That's the basics. Here's the story in a nutshell version. Rich genius who makes weapons, is captured, makes kick-ass battle armor, kills bad guys, decides to be superhero and saves the day. That sounds liks a winning formula to an action movie to me.
When thinking about the actors in this movie I can honestly say that they were all good choices for their parts. Downey is brilliant as Stark, Terrence Howard plays Rhodes and is superb at it. Jeff Bridges, who I have always loved as an actor, was absolutely perfect for Obadiah Stane and Gweneth Paltrow is hot as a redhead. I would seriously consider giving Downey an Oscar for this role, even though it won't happen.
Now since this was a background, foundational movie, there isn't too much action in it, which is disappointing because that's what we all want to see. The scenes of Stark designing the suit are great as well as hilarious. If you don't know what I'm talking about, wait till he's testing out the flight capabilities. Great fun.
Also, the scene with Rodey and Stark on his personal plane was great too. I really want Stark's plane and computer system in his house. Both were so bad-ass that I demand 3D computer technology immediately!
Now, for the graphics and effects. Iron Man's suit is incredible. The detail is awesome and his suit is very sleek and shiny. Iron Monger is almost the opposite and really reflects the minds behind each suit. Iron Man is sleek and sexy and is more of a utility suit without any real heavy weaponry. Iron Monger is a brutal, hulking monstrosity that really takes "the more guns, the better" idea to another level.
Look we all knew what was coming with this movie. I think the greatest fear is it would suffer from the Brett Ratner syndrome. Well if I can, let me put those fears to rest. This movie was great and even though I didn't read the comics as closely as I did Spider-Man, I still knew the basic premise of the character and they stuck with it. Go see it, you would be crazy not to.
So last night I went out on the town with a certain, special lady friend(read: Girl of the week) for dinner, margaritas, and a stoner movie. The margarita was excellent, my dinner was nice, the girl had great looking tits and the movie? Well, that's what you are here for and that's the reason I'm even writing this. Here's my little review of the newest pothead movie, Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanomo Bay
Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanomo Bay Directors: Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg
Writers: the guys above
Runtime: 102 minutes
Rating: Rated R for strong crude and sexual content, graphic nudity, pervasive language and drug use
So of course just from the rating above, you should know this movie had it all. Drug use, tits galore, bottomless parties, more racial jokes than you can count and even the death of a favorite of the series.
Here's the basic premise. Harold(John Cho) and Kumar(Kal Penn) attempt to follow Maria(Paula Garces, the chick Roldie digs, to Amsterdam. On the way we meet Vanessa(Danneel Harris), Kumar's old love, and her fiance(Eric Winter). After boarding the plane and being mistaken for terrorists, they are shipped off to Guantanomo Bay from which they escape and attempt to travel to Texas to ask Vanessa's fiance, who is apparently a pretty influential political person or such, to help them out. In between we get a little bit of everything, from Cockmeat sandwiches, 50+ pants-less women, cyclops, KKK keg parties, whorehouses and of course, Doogie Howser. Now I won't go into detail on the actual events or the jokes, because to be honest, there were too many.
Story in a nutshell version: Two potheads get sent to prison, escape and commit some crazy shenanigans on their way to break up ex-girlfriend's wedding.
I loved the first Harold and Kumar and even took a trip to the nearest White Castle after I saw that movie(the only time White Castle has probably done any business. My friend confessed that he hate 10 of their jalapeno burgers once and didn't shit right for a week after). The first was a fun romp with two, hilarious pot heads and all kind of crazy things happening in between. Well H&K2 didn't let up on that at all. In fact, it's better.
The government jokes were hilarious and I couldn't stop laughing throughout the entire film. We get our normally great performances out of Kal Penn and John Cho. Their characters haven't changed since the last time you saw them, and in fact have probably gotten better. Also there is an awesome look into the background of Harold and Kumar and what they were like before they met. It's a great scene.
My biggest disappointment is actually with Neil Patrick Harris. His role, while comical, wasn't the awesomeness that it was in H&K 1 and I was saddened by that.
Now without a doubt, the highlight of the film is in the last 10 minutes or so when our two adventurers parachute into a certain President's ranch in Texas. What follows has to be the greatest Bush scene EVER. I laughed till I couldn't breath during that part. James Adomian, who plays President Bush, gave a really convincing performance and deserves some kind of Bush award for it.
H&K2 is the funniest film of the year, and one of the funniest I've seen in awhile. It definitely tops H&K 1 by leaps and bounds. If you are looking for a funny movie that has drugs, tits, alcohol, Presidents and Doogie Howser, than this is the film for you.
Besides, we have to have something to hold us over for Iron Man right?
BigPopa's score: 9 pairs of tig-o-bitties out of 10.
P.S. How do you like my new GIF on the right? You can thank CTZ for that.
First off thanks to everyone who enjoyed reading my crappy articles and even worse reviews. I know it's been awhile since I reviewd a game but let me explain. About 2 weeks ago I signed up for a little known website called GameFly. I did this in the hope that this would allow me to play a wider variety of games, since I'm lazy and hate making a trip to blockbuster to pick up the latest installment of suckiness. So I signed up for it and of course the first 3 games on my list are not in stock and instead I am informed I will be receiving Devil May Cry 4 and TimeShift. Now we all know DMC 4 is pure sex in a box and I hadn't planned on reviewing it. TimeShift on the other hand interested me and since I hadn't seen any reviews on this game on Dtoid, I took it upon myself to play through this game and see how it was. Now that the game is finished I saw down this morning to write this review and realized, I needed to revamp my system a little bit.
So the way I will do my reviews from now on this like this. My five rankings, Jailbait, One Night Stand, Beer Goggles, Brown Bag Special and Desperato, will be applied only once, if applicable, to parts of the game. In other words I don't plan on going the traditional way and hitting every single point you see in other reviews, such as gameplay, visuals, music, story etc. But I will find something to justify each one of my rankings in every game that I review from now on. If you are confused, see my review on Vegas 2 and it will become clear. So, now that that is cleared up, on to my review.
Getting accquainted:
Timeshift is a sci-fi, first-person shooter created by Vivendi Games, developed by Saber Interactive and published by Sierra. The game uses the Havok 3D engine. It's rated Mature by the ESRB and was released for the 360 on October 30th, 2007 and the PS3 on November 19th, 2007.
Let me also make it clear that I only played through the single-player part and decided to not even attempt the mutliplayer.
"R. Kelly's next concert is gonna be in cellblock 4 cuz' he got caught messin' with jailbait."
So what was so great about this game that was worth risking a LONG time in jail for? Well actually, nothing. But since I had to put something for this ranking I decided to put:
Visuals - What does it say about a game that the best part I could find, the absolute best thing about the game, was the way it looked? Should that scare you or excite you? Depends on if you are a graphics whore, which I'm not.
The game does look pretty, I have to give it that. The people, while not on par with say, Oblivion, are still pretty good. The textures on the building and landscape, the time altering effects, the blood from a decapitated head, all look great. Kudos to the programmers and artists for doing their best to save a game, that ultimately, was doomed to failure through no fault of their own.
"I had a one night stand with this guy I picked up at the club."
Time powers
In TimeShift you have three time-altering powers, Slow, Stop and Reverse. Slowing time will obviously put everything but you into slow motion while you gain extra speed. Also any damage you inflict on enemies will appear as they slowly are mangled to death by your weapons. Stop will freeze everything in the game but you and any damage enemies take will build up and be inflicted as soon as time starts up again. Reverse simply rewinds time and all actions by you or people are reversed. You can't effect anything in the past however, just move around in it.
These powers are a lot of fun to play with, especially Slow. The part that comes back to bite you is how often you have to use it because of your shitty health meter. I played through on Elite level and while I didn't have much trouble with it, I couldn't believe sometimes how little your 'advanced shielding system' could take before dropping to nothing.
"When I took her to bed, she looked like Halle Berry. When I woke up, she looked like Keith Richards!"
Combat
Without time powers, combat in this game would have been a lot lower. Your health depletes at an incredible rate and sometimes the baddies are inexplicably strong one moment and horribly easy the next. You can carry three weapons at a time and every weapon has a primary and secondary firing mode. But really, once you get the shotgun and crossbow, you don't need anything else. Slowing time while sniping people with an exploding quarrel is great fun, but gets old and repetitive after awhile. There is a decent number of weapons throughout the game, but most of them are useless.
"Sonic: Not the only place with Brown Bag Specials."
Story
The writers and dev's should be ashamed of themselves for this mess of a story. While most FPS's don't really need much of a story, I would still like to know why the hell I am doing what I'm doing. The game presents it's story in small cutscenes that happen randomly throughout the game and they are so convoluted that I dare anyone who played this to know what the hell was going on while they were playing. I had to look up on Wikipedia to find out myself. Here's their explanation: "Scientists from the near-future have begun work on creating a viable time machine. The project results in the creation of two devices, the Alpha Suit, a less advanced prototype jump suit, and the Beta Suit, a more advanced, so-called military grade model with features the Alpha Suit lacks such as combat-related timeshifting abilities and an integrated AI designed to prevent the creation of Paradoxes.
The director of the project, Doctor Aiden Krone, takes the Alpha Suit and travels into the past. Once there he alters the timeline, placing himself as the ruler of the Krone Magistrate that controls a dystopic world. The protagonist, a fellow scientist whose name is never spoken (never mentioned in-game or in manual), then takes the Beta Suit and follows Dr. Krone back to the year 1939 (in an alternate timestream) to a place called Alpha District. He then proceeds to assist the Occupant Rebellion against Dr. Krone."
Wow! So that's the fucking reason we have zeppelins. I never understood where we went or why, the entire time I played this damn thing.
Also, here's a hint Saber, if you want to be able to communicate to the player any new information from your 'Commander Cooke', don't do it while the player is involved in a pitched battle or running for his/her life through an exploding warehouse. I'm not paying attention to what he's saying and even if I WASN'T fighting for my life, his voice is so quiet I can't hear it. Bad design, bad story and bad implementation.
"Dude... she looks like a GUY - stop being such a Desperato!"
Level Design
God, I wanted to shoot the dev's over this issue. And let me make it clear, it wasn't that the level design was uninspired or dull; in fact it was varied and colorful so I didn't see brown and grey ALL the time, just about 70% of the time. No, I'm talking about the situations or, as I call them, 'player-fuck areas', that require you to use your powers to either escape danger, solve puzzles or survive battles. Get used to the loading screens, because when you hit one of these little snags in the road, you will want to curse. Several of these areas took me, I shit you not, at least thirty minutes to figure out EXACTLY what I am supposed to do and how to do it. I had to literally stop playing because the reasons I was dying were not clear at all and did nothing but frustrate me.
It was this reason, and this reason alone, that the game took over 15 hours to complete on Elite. The amount of times you die in a given level coupled together with the load times, would add at least another hour onto each gaming session. The levels were also VERY long and seemed, sometimes, to have no end to them.
Overall I had fun with Timeshift until the halfway point, then, because I had already invested time into it, I only played it to complete it. It's a generic shooter that relies WAY too heavily on the manipulation of time to have fun. It's not a bad game, per se, but I can't call it a good game either.
BigPopa's final say so: This game definitely falls into the Brown Bag Special area. 2/5 drunk prostitutes. If you have a girlfriend to bang, do her instead of this game and move on to something worth delaying sex over. Cuz this game is not worth it.
So I kind of got bored with all my games this weekend, for the amount of time that I was at home. Between being on an interview board for my fraternity, the party on saturday and the fun I had on friday, I didn't have a lof of time to play. But I decided to download a couple of demos and try them out.
My choices? Iron Man and Universe at War: Earth Assault. Kryptinite already took a look at the Iron Man demo and he pretty much nailed it on the head. I apologize that I'm not as cool as he, since I don't have a video to show you guys, only a wall of text to give my impressions of Universe at War.
Now first of all I'll go ahead and say it: RTS's belong on the PC and are easier to play on the PC. I won't argue that point. But putting it on the console does not necessarily make it a BAD game either. I'm not going to go into the story or the background of UAW, just talk about the thing everyone is interested in: the controls.
You select your units with the A button and if you hold it down you can select all units you move over. Pressing the X button will select all units on screen. Your Y button takes you to the last 'event' and the B button de-selects things. Pretty standard fare so far. Holding the right trigger brings up the radar map and allows you to move across it much quicker. It's basically the same as clicking on the mini-map in most RTS's and having the camera take you to that spot. Holding left trigger will open a menu system that gives you all the options that the selected unit or units have at your disposal. This includes repairing structures and units, constructing new buildings and activating the abilities of the units.
Holding the LB button will open up your research panel and the RB opens up your 'group' panel. On another note, if you have nothing selected and hold the LT, it opens up a ring to select the different queue's you might have such as troops, vehicles, air, and even will find the builders for you. It's a nice little shortcut, since moving around the map is not an easy process.
Left thumbstick moves camera around the map and the right thumbstick rotates the camera and zooms in and out. And that's it.
I played the tutorial(which was crap) and some skirmish battles and the controls did get easier after a couple of battles. You could only play two of the factions and none of the missions so your only choice was to play skirmish battles. I didn't even attempt the online portion.
The demo left a bad taste in my mouth for several reasons. 1. The framerates constantly dropped at the most critical moments and when a lot of units were on screen at one time. Also, the friendly AI is just dumb. 2. There is no move-and-attack option, so your units will literally sit there in the middle of the enemy base until you tell them to attack an enemy. 3. Selecting a single unit is not easy, nor was reading the tool-tips any better since the text was font size 3 I believe. And forget trying to use abilities in conjunction with each other, that's just a little thing the programmers wanted to dangle in front of you.
Overall I was willing to give it a try, but the fast-paced battles simply out-ran my ability to control my army when it came crunch time. If you like RTS's like me, then do the smart thing; buy them for the PC and avoid them on consoles like the plague. If you want a reminder of a genre that will never belong on a console, by all means DL this demo. But please don't go wasting your money on the game itself.
Now I know ya'll know I'm a thug nigga frum da streets homey, so we I talk about my boys in dis here movie, Street Kings, I know what I'm talking about. Aight? So if any of ya'll punk-ass bitches wanna fight me, well I guess we can take dis out back.
Wow, I feel so...fake after typing that line. Either way, here's my review of Street Kings for all of you movie lovers.
Street Kings Director: David Ayer
Writers:
Kurt Wimmer(Ultraviolet, Equilibrium, The Recruit)
James Ellroy(nothing worth mentioning)
Runtime: 109 min
Rated R for strong violent and pervasive language(where's my obligatory titty shot?)
Here's the IMDB page where you can check out the great cast that was in this movie.
First of all let me give you a synopsis. Keanu Reeves, that's Neo, is Tom Ludlow, a badass, stereotyical, run-and-gun type of cop who is using alcohol and law enforcement to replace his dead wife. After he discovers his ex-partner, Terrence Washington, played by Terry Crews, is ratting him out for some things he did in his past, Ludlow decides to take matters into his own hands and follows Washington to a convenience store. Unfortunately for Tom, Washington is the victim of a gang hit and is killed. Ludlow is implicated in the murder and now must clear his name by going against the entire LA PD and his own Vice Special unit, commanded by Forest Whitaker. He recruits the help of Detective Paul Diskant, a Internal Affairs investigator that wants to get out of his office and onto the streets. Hugh Laurie plays Captain James Biggs, a cop that hunts down dirty cops and throughout the story, and is on Ludlow's ass the entire time.
So here's my story-in-a-nutshell version. Badass cop hates ex-partner but then spends the next hour of my life trying to cover his own ass from getting tossed into the slammer only to have it come full circle on him and be betrayed.
Since it is a dirty cop movie, along the same lines as Training Day and Assault on Precinct 13, the plot is twisted enough that I can't reveal too much without revealing the fun stuff.
Keanue Reeves turns in a classic Reeves movie. He's shallow, unemotional, dry, and all-around average performance. He plays the same character in every movie, but fortunately, like The Matrix, his acting fits the character he is playing. The bad part is, that he just doesn't pull off the bad-ass cop with the surfer accent. It's like watching Bill & Ted with guns. Dialogue in the movie is good, but just not his.
Forest Whitaker is, once again, showing why he is not only a leading African-American actor, but one of the best actors in all of hollywood. I swear if this man was in every movie I see this year I wouldn't complain. His facial expressions and voice, while sometimes over the top, are such a contrast to Reeves' lack of those very qualities.
The person I was impressed the most with, however, was Cedric the Entertainer. He plays a drug dealer and actually pulls it off quite well. It was nice seeing Cedric do something, ANYTHING, different than what he normally does. Seeing him rollin' down the street in his caddy was hilarious.
The movie didn't disappoint me, but it still felt like there was something missing to it. Oh yeah, now I remember, quality characters. Street Kings never made me care about the characters themselves. The only one I did come to like was, of course, Hugh Laurie and Chris Evans' characters. What happened to Reeves and Whitaker, not so much. I'm a huge fan of Training Day, which I feel is the pinnacle of dirty cop movies, and so I judge all other dirty cop movies by that standard.
Street Kings doesn't live up to Training Day, in fact it comes no where close. But, it is a good cop movie in it's own rights. If you like dirty cop movies and can stomach Reeves' android-like acting, then you will enjoy Street Kings.
I give it a 7/10. If I had gotten a booby shot, that could have been bumped up to an 8. Oh well. I suggest seeing it at the matinee, it's definitely not a prime time, night film.
It is with a heavy heart that I present to you the last episode in the Jack Thompson: On Trial series. Today I am going to show the two sides of the man, the side he presents to the judge in his final closing and the side he showed GamePolitics. It's quite long so bear with me.
To all my readers who have followed my silly antics and comments about these transcripts, thanks for playing along. The Casting Call blogs will get back on track after this final JT blog. So, let's look at his closing arguements.
He presents three arguements to his case, all related to the First Amendment and Free Speech.
JT: Okay. By way of closing argument… here’s the text of the Florida Religious Freedom Restoration Act. Did I give you that?…
TUMA: Yes.
JT: It says… “Exercise of religion means an act or refusal to act that is substantially motivated by a religious belief, whether or not the religious exercise is compulsory or central to a larger system of religious beliefs… The Government may substantially burden a person’s exercise of religion only if it is demonstrated that application of the burden to the person is in furtherance of a compelling governmental interest, is the least restrictive means of furthering that compelling governmental interest… A person whose religious exercise has been burdened in violation of this section may assert that violation as a claim or defense in a judicial proceeding and obtain appropriate relief.”
JT is trying to use the arguement that the Florida Bar is 'burdening his religion' by disbarring him, because apparently I missed the 11th commandment somewhere. You know, the one that reads, "Thou shalt destroy all video games and be an ass while doing so." Yeah, my bad God. Didn't get the memo.
JT: I’m simply making the argument, Judge, that my motivations - which I have tried to make clear, maybe to the point of nausea - are religious and that my efforts against the distribution of adult material, pornographic material, violent material, adult rated material to children is violative of the law as well as violative of Scripture. I quoted the biblical passage where Jesus says, reportedly: “If any one of you should cause one of these little ones to stumble, it would be better that a millstone be tied around your neck and that you be cast in the uttermost depths of the sea.”
JT: If I am disbarred, which is the wish of these [Florida Bar] people… I will continue to do what I’m doing on these issues whether they disbar me or not because this is what I was called to do, this is what I was enabled to do more effectively as a lawyer…
Shit, so basically regardless of the outcome of the hearing, he isn't giving up his crusade. But keep in mind that a disbarred lawyer will have a lot less of a voice, especially on the media outlets. Also, he feels like he was called to this?
JT: When you’ve got hypocrites… then I have a right - in fact, I have duty, as Jesus did, the confront the Pharisees and say: “You are hypocrites. You are liars. You are whited sepulchers. You’re in a den of thieves,” and so forth… So these people now in this situation, it’s all by stealth. They want to do it in the darkness…
Comparing yourself to Jesus is probably not the best way to win people over. Especially when you read the emails I'm going to show you later.
JT: Okay. Another argument [by Florida law] Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation, SLAPP suits, by governmental entities are prohibited… I’ll just point out and ask the Court to read Section 4. It says” “No governmental entity in this state shall file or cause to be filed… any lawsuit -” and then the important phrase here “-cause of action-” differentiating it from a lawsuit “-claim, cross-claim or counterclaim against a person… solely because such person… has exercised the right to… petition for redress of grievances before the various governmental entities of this state.”
So again, JT is using that the Florida Bar is coming at him because he has attempted to 'petition for redress of grievances'. No JT, they want to disbar you because you are a horrible lawyer and an asshole. Maybe if you had approached your crusade with some class and professionalism instead of all out verbal assaults, we would have taken you more seriously.
His last arguement has to do with his First Amendment rights to Free Speech. He goes into a little background about a case involving a Radio Lawyer named Fieger. Apparently Mr. Fieger called some judges some bad names.
JT: Mr. Fieger [a prominent attorney] had some sort of a dispute… and Mr. Fieger had a radio program and he… was upset about what these judges had done and he called them Nazis. He said that their ruling was worse than if you had put a certain number of monkeys in a room and they had typed at typewriters and come up with the opinion. It suggested that they were in the pockets of commercial interests.
So basically Mr. Fieger accused judges of being payed by corporations. Smooth move. But, while the Michigan Supreme Court sanctioned Mr. Fieger, a U.S. District Court overruled the sanction saying, "the respect for the judiciary or individual judges is less important than protecting the… judicial process because judges come and go…" in JT's own words.
JT: Further, what we’ve got here, Judge - and there was some discussion about this earlier - is: This is a libel case that these people brought against me, a criminal libel case.
Wait, hold on. I thought you were fighting for your Bar license, not a criminal case. JT buddy you need a vacation. This isn't a libel case, this is a hearing to determine whether or not you should be allowed to be a lawyer.
JT: Basically it says… you can’t impinge upon a Florida resident’s First Amendment rights… if you look at all of these complaints, Judge, they’re almost all violations of my speech rights. I’ve said some things that bothered Clatus Junkin and I said some things about Judge Friedman that the Third District in another case agreed with me about how he runs his Court, pre-judging cases… So, Judge, this is First Amendment speech. It’s been engaged in to protect the integrity of the judicial process…
JT: So my detractors and opponents have the view that they can file Bar complaints against me, threaten to rape my wife, corporately incite the sending of sex products to my wife and me at our home, and I’m supposed to just sit there and be a human pinata for anything that the Florida Bar, which collaborates with these people...
Your wife was threatened with rape? When? Why bring it up now at the end? Oh that's right, the sympathy card. Get ready folks, he's about to go all in on a busted flush.
JT: Blank Rome, knowing my wife had just had ovarian cancer surgery, sued me with a lawsuit at our house - at our house - knowing she’s stretched out on a couch, unable to move. Ray Reiser had asked them not to bother us at our home, and these people, knowing she had this surgery and is recovering from it, knowing I had a lawyer, Ray Reiser, to accept service, having been told that - my wife, she had to get up off the couch and receive this lawsuit at the door from a process server; and they knew it and they did it on purpose.
Now while I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone, even JT's wife, don't you think that this is really stretching the sympathy card a bit? A queen of hearts will only get you so far if the table shows all spades JT.
JT: Judge, I apologize for any unkind comments I’ve had for you about my wife, and your total lack, in my opinion, of appreciation of the fact that to go through a process like this in which your profession is being threatened with being taken from you at the same time that your wife is fighting for her life and that you don’t understand, apparently, Judge, that there are burdens in a situation like that, that it’s almost too much for a body and a person to bear.
Did he just tell that judge that she wouldn't understand what it's like to have a sick relative? I think Judge Tunis just called JT's bluff and is showing four aces. Here's a hint JT, maybe you shouldn't have done all this while your wife was fighting for her life. Might have saved her some undue stress.
JT: So, Judge, I appreciate you courtesies in the midst of all this. I think these [Florida Bar] people don’t have any - don’t have a sense of democracy in their bodies. They don’t understand what freedom is about. They don’t understand that the great infringer of freedoms in our nation’s history and world history is government. These people don’t care about that. They care about their view of ethics. They don’t care about the little ones that are harmed by these people through their illegal commercial enterprises.
Ok, when did running a company to produce entertainment become illegal? Again, is the company who makes a game or movie, responsible if it falls into the hands of a child? Like they can do anything about that? Stupid arguement JT.
And that's the last of JT's comments in this trial. Now what I want to do next is to point out to you the religious parts of his arguement. Remember that he felt it was his duty as a Christian to deny these games from reaching children's hands? Read it again if you need to before continuing on.
The last part of this blog will review some of the things that Mr. Thompson said to Dennis McCauley, editor of GamePolitics, in Mr. McCauley's wrap-up of the trial.
Here is Mr. McCauley's conversation with Mr. Thompson. Mr. McCauley had contacted JT to let him know that this series was going to be posted on GP in the near future and welcomed JT's comments on it. Here is the conversation.
GP (March 17): I will be having coverage this week of testimony from your December Bar trial. Would you care to comment? I’d be interested in the text of any closing statement you might have made.
JT (March 17): Any reportage you undertake which does not correctly depict all that happened there, will be treated as libelous and actionable. You’re paying for partial transcripts at your own great risk.
GP (March 17): You are invited to comment, and I’ve asked for your closing.
JT: (March 17): I am warning you that if you have trial transcript portions to the exclusion of my portions, then you are liable.
GP: (March 17): You’re given an opportunity to address the trial, comment on the trial and provide the text of your closing.
JT (March 18): I am not giving you anything re my Bar trial, then, as anything you report will be censored by you for the purpose of harming me, as you repeatedly have done. If you report on the trial, based on a partial transcript, then you’re on the hook for any failure to report on the gist of the entire transcript and the entire trial. Any real journalist would understand that, but then you’re not a journalist. You’re an industry flak.
GP (March 18): We’ll be reporting on your Bar trial (you’re a public figure, it’s news) despite your unwillingness to offer your side and despite your threats.
JT (March 18): Returned, unread, and sent to my “Dennis McCauley never reports the inconvenient truth” folder. I spent nine days in trial. I don’t have to relive it for a twit who couldn’t care less what really happened there, asshole.
GP (March 18): Well, I very much care what happened at the trial. That’s why I’m reviewing the transcripts. And I’m very interested in your side, especially your closing. That’s why I’ve asked for your comments and the text of the closing, what, four times now?
JT (March 18): It speaks for itself
Nicely done there I think. As always, Mr. McCauley was professional and courteous and JT was an ass. Here's the email that JT sent McCauley after the series went live.
[i]You are running a series of “articles” at your site about my Bar trial by selectively procuring transcripts of the portions thereof that suit your purposes. You have asked for me to provide you transcripts of other portions. I neither have them nor do I have a duty to provide them if I did have them. You have, however, a duty to procure transcripts for all portions of the trial if you are to profess to be reporting on this event in a non-libelous and fair fashion. This is the first breach of your legal duties to me.
The second breach is the fact that you have prohibited me not only from posting my responses to the false and defamatory comments about me by your posters in response to the above, but you also prohibit me from accessing your site directly. This is outrageous. This is supposed to be a site at which people can post their comments. You have excluded me from the opportunity to defend myself thereat…[/i]
Nice JT. A chance to show your side of EVERYTHING and you just blow it off and threaten this journalist with legal action. Now in reading all of my past series and especially those emails he sent to Judge Friedman, do these actions and words strike you as a man that hold the Bible as the standard by which he lives?
What disgusts me the most is the fact that he wants to use God as a reason for doing everything he has done so far. I don't mind if people have religious motives behind things, that's just part of life. The part that bothers me is that he uses it as a reason but then acts like a complete idiot, tool, douchebag, asshole and every other negative word you can think of. In none of his lawsuits, emails, etc. has he even remotely looked like a person motivated by religion.
Well, Judge Tunis' judgement is supposed to be handed down this month, just in time for the GTA launch, I might add. I think that after everything he has put Take-Two, Rockstar and gamers around the U.S. through, that it's only fitting that in the month of the release of the pinnacle of violent games and his personal enemy in the gaming world, that Jack Thompson is disbarred.
Why hello again! Nice to see you, pull up a chair and get ready for another great episode of Jack Thompson: On Trial. I hope you have been enjoying this series so far.
This episode is the final episode that deals with a VGR witness. His name is Judge Friedman and he was the presiding judge on the Bully case that JT tried to bring against Take-Two. If you aren't familiar with that case, JT was basically trying to stop Bully from being distributed at all. Judge Friedman found that because the game did not cause 'immediate violence' and therefore was not a threat to the community, he could not ban Bully unless he wanted to violate First Amendment rights.
The first part of this episode is the testimony of Judge Friedman. Now, almost all of his testimony has to do with reading emails JT sent him after he made his ruling and there were a LOT of them. I have taken the best ones and shown them to you here.
TUMA: Can you tell us what Mr. Thompson asked you to do to make the determination of entering an injunction [to bock the release of Bully]?
RF: He wanted me to review the game and prohibit its distribution, which was scheduled a few days later, maybe a week later.
TUMA: Did you entertain his request?
RF: I did… I heard arguments from both sides. The counsel for the defendants [Take Two] did not think it was necessary to do any of this because under the First Amendment, they had a right to make the distribution....Mr. Thompson believed this video was so bad that it should be prohibited from distribution to teenagers; and as bad as he made it sound, I indicated that I would in camera view the entire game...They met - Mr. Thompson was present as well - in my chambers and proceeded to play the video. Now, even though I indicated that I would watch the entire game, they had I think what they call a cheater. They can skip from one spot in the game to another spot, etc. So it wasn’t necessary - they indicated it would take about 200 hours to view the entire game, which of course would have been day and night for a long time...I viewed somewhere bewteen and hour, and hour and a half of the video from spot to spot to get an idea of what the game was and, hopefully, the worst parts of the game.
Basically what happened next was that the judge ruled in favor of Take-Two and told JT he was being an idiot and there was nothing in Bully that he saw that would cause 'immediate violence' so there was no cause to ban it's distribution. JT, in his usual style, then proceeded to jump off the cliff of sanity head-first and spammed Judge Friedman with emails. I've only copied the best ones below. Read the full article for the rest.
TUMA: I would like you to look at Exhibit 48… Can you identify that letter, please?
RF: This is a memorandum from Jack Thompson to myself by e-mail and it is dated… October 13th, 2006… “Now that you have consigned innumerable children to skull fractures, eye injuries from slingshots and beatings with baseball bats without a hearing as to the danger, let me tell you a few things, with all respect for your office and with no respect for the arbitrary way in which you handled this matter...”
Um, it's a video game JT. Not a training seminar on playground brawling.
TUMA: If you can go to the third paragraph…
RF: “What you conducted in your chambers, Judge, was the equivalent of Iran leading U.N. weapons inspectors around the country, taking them to places where the illegal activity was not occurring… I couldn’t care less what you did to me. What I care is that you, through judicial arrogance, have hung countless kids out to dry at school that will now be meaner and more dangerous. Next time you promise a hearing, I’ll bring a parent with me whose kid is in the ground because of a kid who trained to kill him or her in a violent video game. Try mocking that person, I dare you.”
Again, no evidence to support that violent games make children violent, so stop spouting shit like it's true. Also, did you really expect a judge to sit down and play the game for 200 hours(although I do think it's not that many), just to see EVERY little thing in the game? What world do you live in JT?
What follows below has got to be one of the best parts of the entire trial.
TUMA: Can you go to page two of that Exhibit, please? …In paragraph 10, can you read the sentence…?
RF: “The late respected Dade Circuit Court Judge Reah Pincus Grossman, when she returned to the practice of law could not abide appearing before this judge, and now the undersigned [Thompson] knows why.”
TUMA: Do you know Judge Grossman?
RF: Very well.
TUMA: Is she deceased?
RF: Rumors of her demise are greatly exaggerated.
Wait a minute. Hold on. Did JT just write an email discussing a deceased judge that is ACTUALLY NOT DEAD?! Oh JT, even you couldn't be so stupid...could you?
TUMA: Is that a no?
RF: She is not deceased.
TUMA: Can you tell me, have you had a conversation with her regarding the statement that Mr. Thompson has made in this pleading?
RF: I was shocked to learn she had died. So I called her office, only to find that she had not. I spoke with her and she was just as shocked as I was about these pleadings.
TUMA: Thank you. Can you please look at Exhibit 53?
RF: …This is a news release entitled, “Dump the Bully Judge.” …”Thompson has chosen his opponent carefully, incumbent Ronald M. Friedman. Friedman is the man… unleashing upon America’s preteen and teen children the extremely violent Columbine simulator video game Bully.”
TUMA: Thank you. Can you now look at Exhibit 65…
RF: That’s a letter from Thompson to myself, October 25th, 2006… “Here’s a tip for you, Judge. I don’t just practice law. I save lives from reckless jurists like you… I serve those broken-hearted people, not arrogant tyrants like you… I’m a lot of bad things, but I’m not a liar. You are. You promised and ordered hearings that never occurred and you even told the nation that you reviewed a video game that you didn’t even see but for one percent of it. You then came out before the cameras and pronounced the game perfectly safe. You’re the kind of guy who would wave into the intersection a child to be run over by a semi. I’m looking forward to my judicial race against you and win or lose, you’re going to be exposed as the prevarictator and a facilitator of violence and porn to kids that you are. You will never agree to a debate in our race because you can’yt control that situation. You won’t have a Sheriff to shut me up. America’s a great place where citizens get to cleanse the public dole of thugs like you. I’m looking forward to doing just that…”
What follows is JT's cross-examination of Judge Friedman. Honestly, it's a little boring so I'm not going to post much of it at all. I would still recommend to anyone who has been reading this series to go ahead and read the full transcript though.
JT: Judge, first things first. My lawsuit wasn’t, as you testified, to prohibit the distribution of this game [Bully], was it?
RF: I do believe it was.
JT: Well, let’s go to Exhibit 46… page 21 thereof… Why don’t you read paragraph D. This is under the caption Injunctive Relief.
RF: “An order prohibiting Take Two from selling all of its mature-rated video games directly or indirectly to anyone under 17 years of age, which practice is violating the strictures of the [ESA] and of the [ESRB] as well as solemn promises made under oath to Congress and to others.”
JT: So do you want to change your testimony about what the purpose of the lawsuit was?
RF: No. That’s the way I read that.
JT: Prohibit the distribution.
RF: To adults? No. To teenagers, yes.
JT: Okay. I take prohibit to mean prohibit, and that is to prevent the distribution.
And there we have it. Finally the truth from JT's own mouth.
JT: You don’t know how to play the game - or any game. Did you know that I had an expert there, Dr. Eugene Provenzo, to testify at this hearing we didn’t have?
RF: Yes.
JT: Okay, and do you know who he is?
RF: No.
RF: ...Mr. Thompson, as I recall, and I believe the transcript will reflect, at the end of the hearing, I said, “Does anyone have anything further to say to the Court?” and the doctor raised his hand, and I called upon him to say whatever he wanted to say and you told him to lower his hand and be quiet.
JT: Because he told me what he was going to say. Do you want to know what he was going to say?
RF: I don’t care.
JT: You don’t care?
RF: I don’t care at this point. I made my ruling. That was that.
I like this judge. He did what he thought was best and after the ruling had been made he moved on.
And that's it ladies and gentlemen. Judge Friedman is the last VGR witness to speak in this trial. So next time, we will examine JT's closing arguements with the same cynicism that we look at everything he says.
Good morning my friends and Happy April Fool's day! I would like to welcome you to another episode of Jack Thompson: On Trial. This time we pick up the drama as JT is cross-examining Rebecca Ward, a lawyer with Blank Rome that defended Take-Two in the aforementioned 2005 case, Strickland v. Sony.
For those of you with weak stomachs, be warned, today's episode is darker and less funny than the last few have been, but this really shows the mean side of JT. So if you didn't have reason enough to hate him, you probably will after you see how he treats Mrs. Ward.
As always, GamePolitics is the source of the transcript, so head on over there for a more in-depth read.
TUMA: Can you please identify that exhibit for the Court?
WARD: This is an e-mail… from Mr. Thompson, addressed to me, three other partners at my law firm, and our local counsel in Alabama, dated September 21, 2005.
TUMA: …can you read the first sentence, please?
WARD: …”Two of the partners in your firm, James T. Smith and Rebecca D. Ward, have decided to do a very foolish and very unethical thing… Your two partners have also presided over the decision of Rockstar to launch a website and suggest that I am a bisexual pedophile…”
TUMA: Can you tell me at any time if you have presided over the decision of Rockstar to launch a website?
WARD: No. In fact the particular website in question, I didn’t even know existed until Mr. Thompson sent this e-mail.
C'mon Jacky-boy! What a great email, I think I need to go find this website.
WARD: Exhibit 23 is a December 15th, 2005 letter addressed to [Alabama] Judge Moore… “Jim Smith is the moral equivalent of hiring this kid [apparently, some threat to Thompson] to threaten to castrate me and stuff my testicles down my throat. The difference between that kid and Jim Smith is that Jim Smith was paid to target me.”
Another quality email from JT. He's just full of them apparently.
WARD: After this e-mail hit the mailboxes of my partners, I got many e-mails and phone calls from people at our firm wanting to know what it was about, why were these things being said, what happened in the lawsuit, why we were accused of telling lies in court. It was a matter of some number of conversations…
WARD: …the one that’s dated November 2nd, 2005. It’s addressed to me, to Mr. Smith, to Dennis McCauley, who is a journalist - a freelance journalist in Philadelphia who runs the GamePolitics.com website… “Here you are, a woman representing the ‘right’ of a company to market to children a game in which they can simulate sex with a prostitute and then kill her to get their virtual money back… You disgrace us as lawyers. Shame on you. Shame on you as a woman as well…”
WARD: [Thompson wrote] “As to insulting Ms. Ward allegedly because of her status as a woman… I did just the opposite. Scripture tells us that women are to be exalted, and whether she likes it or not, to be protected by men who value women. What I did was not the unfortunate fact that she, as a woman, is protecting the misogynistic targeting of other women by her client [Take Two]. I was appealing to her better exalted nature and status as a woman, not demeaning her status as a woman. Only a man who feels comfortable facilitating the distribution of porn to kids that targets women would intentionally not get it…
TUMA: Can you tell us for the record what effect did Mr. Thompson’s conduct in these type of letters being sent to you, your partners, your clients, have on you?
What follows is an unclear explanation by Mrs. Ward who becomes upset after reading this email. The court took a 15 minute recess to allow her to compose herself and then they resumed with Mrs. Ward fully answering Mrs. Tuma's question. And by the way, I would just like to say that Mrs. Ward's sexuality has really nothing to do with JT's conduct. So what he was thinking in that email is beyond me.
WARD: I think that we took a break before I finished answering that question. As I said, when the e-mail went around to all of our partners, there were a number of people who didn’t understand the context of the letter and there were some questions asked about, you know, “Why would he be saying this” What was going on? What were you doing? What were you thinking?” …it was trouble and it was a waste of time to have to spend time answering those questions.
Then the comments [by Thompson] about, you know, my role as a woman and my status as a woman and how apparently - the way it read to me and, frankly, the way it read to my husband was that the men in my life weren’t giving me proper guidance about the values that I should have as a woman, as a wife, as a mother… It really irritated my husband quite a bit… I guess I didn’t realize exactly how angry everything made me until you asked the question… to read [the e-mails] again [in Court], I just got angry all over again. It made me madder than I expected it would.
Irritated her husband? I bet he wanted to strangle JT with his bare hands. I know I would have wanted to hurt someone if a prick started talking to my wife about her 'exalted' status as a woman and that I wasn't giving her guidance. Man JT, the nerve...
JT: Well, let’s get at it this way. Take Two / Rockstar Games makes mature video games.
Is that right?
WARD: Among other types of video games.
JT: But they make mature rated games.
TUMA: Asked and answered. Objection. She said mature rated -
DT: Overruled.
WARD: Yes.
JT: Do you know… if this is a correct characterization? Manhunt 2 is a game that has been banned for sale in the United Kingdom and other European Union countries and yet is being sold by your client to teenagers in this country. Is that right?
What in the world this has to do with JT's Bar conduct is beyond me.
JT goes onto start questioning Mrs. Ward about Manhunt and Manhunt 2 and then tries to put blame on Mrs. Ward for allowing her client to sell these games to teens. How he connects Take-Two's business activities as Blank Rome's fault is, again, beyond all sensible logic.
JT: …Does your client, Take Two, make a game, Manhunt 2, that has been banned for sale to adults in the United Kingdom and yet is being sold to teenagers in the United States of America.
WARD: Manhunt 2 is a video game that was released by -
JT: How about yes or no and then explain.
WARD: I can’t answer your question yes or no, Mr. Thompson.
JT: Why not?
WARD: Do you want me to explain?
JT: No. I’d like an answer, but you can go ahead.
WARD: Manhunt 2, Your Honor, was a video game that was released I think in the summer of this year, more than a year after -
DT: 2007?
WARD: 2007. Manhunt 2. So I doubt very seriously that Manhunt 2 is mentioned in any of the communications that Miss Tuma asked me about because it hadn’t been released yet. It wasn’t released until this year.
Ouch. Nice try JT, but Mrs. Ward just shot down any type of connection with Manhunt 2 and your emails that are in evidence. Here you are again, trying to promote your agenda above all else.
What follows is some confusion over which game JT is trying to ask her. There's some arguement back and forth between Judge Tunis and Thompson and then we finally resume with:
DT: Your question now is about Manhunt?
JT: No. It’s about Manhunt 2. No. Judge, look. Honestly, Judge. Forgive me. I don’t want to argue with you, but we had to take a recess because she was upset about letters sent to her firm about what she represents and what she facilitates, what this law firm facilitates and I’m not going to be allowed to ask about what products there are that law firm puts out there and sells to children?
Since when do law firms put ANY products out on the market for children?
DT: I don’t know what relevance it has to this.
None of us do Judge.
JT: It has every relevance because her position is that she’s upset about my having brought to the attention of her larger law firm - others in her law firm - what it is that she and Jim Smith have done. The context is what she has done and what she continues to do and what she did down here in Miami Dad Circuit Court before [Bully case] Judge Friedman and so forth; and how she makes a living and how she charges for every e-mail that she finds so offensive or letter that she reads. This is what she does and it ties into what Take Two does. I can’t for the life of me understand why I don’t get to ask her what her client is involved in.
DT: She is representing a corporate client… If she were representing a person charged with criminal misconduct - are you suggesting that what this Court should do is take the client that a lawyer represents and impute to the lawyer the conduct of the client?
That's exactly what it sounds like to me Judge and I would have loved to have seen the look on the judge's face when she realized what he is trying to do. Pretty stupid chain of logic there.
JT: You know, Judge, you’re going pretty far afield on your function when you say the purpose of these proceedings is not to determine the appropriateness of a particular product and yet I don’t get to litigate fully the appropriateness of my characterization of what she and her clients have done. Those letters that she lifted sentences out of point out their methodology. Ms. Ward has put her name on these fraudulent pleadings to shoot the messenger, to characterize me as having misrepresented my disciplinary history. Why? In order to try and win a lawsuit in Alabama.
DT: But what is the relevance of what games, videos, whatever it is that her corporate client somewhere down the line - that’s not the issue here. I don’t even -
JT: Excuse me, Judge. It’s the issue for me and it may be in your narrow perspective of what the law is and what lawyers concerns can only be, that it’s not appropriate for a lawyer to ask questions about what other lawyers are facilitating and the harm they are doing in doing so and unethical acts by people such as Ms. Ward to put their names on pleadings that are fraudulent and deceptive and whose purpose is not to litigate the merits of the case, but to litigate the opponent.
DT: If you want to ask her questions about what she did that you are saying was fraudulent and deceptive and untrue and a lie, you have every right to do that…
JT: Okay. The proffer, so the record is clear, is that Ms. Ward - which I’m not going to be allowed to ask about regarding Manhunt 2 - represents this client that is selling to teenagers and in fact selling directly to minors from their own websites a game which has been banned for sale to adults, which you drive syringes into people’s eyeballs and suffocate them with plastic bags and which has caused an uproar regarding the banning in Europe and the sale of it here in this country. Okay.
Jeez, even in court when he is fighting for his life as a lawyer, JT still won't give up his crusade. Have to admire the man for persistence though. But again, he said all that stuff just so it would get into the court record and promote his agenda.
JT: You said Mr. Eibeler, the CEO of Take Two is no longer the CEO. Is that right?
WARD: That’s correct.
JT: Would you tell us about the Hot Coffee incident which helped lead to his demise as the CEO of Take Two?
TUMA: …Objection, You Honor. How is that relevant to this proceeding as to why Mr. Eibeler is no longer the CEO of Take Two?
JT: Well, we’ll find out when she answers.
HA HA HA. Somehow, JT asking about Hot Coffee when his Bar license is up at stakes is funny to me. I'm not sure why.
DT: How is that an issue that’s relevant? …about someone who is not a witness before this Court [and] is no longer employed by a particular corporation? …if you want to refer to a particular letter and show me how that’s relevant -
JT: No. I don’t want to refer to a particular letter. She testified and read from letters to Mr. Eibeler and my question - I’m trying to get at the nature of this client, which is a criminal enterprise - it’s a criminal enterprise… So my question is: can you answer the question as to what the nature of the Hot Coffee scandal was of Take Two?
So now Take-Two is no longer just a corporation but a criminal enterprise. I didn't know it had become illegal to make mature games and movies. Maybe I missed the memo somewhere...
What follows is a pretty low-blow tactic by JT where he just flat-out attacks Mrs. Ward over the the Strickland v. Sony case.
JT: Finally, you know, I don’t like to see anybody cry, Ms. Ward, and I don’t mean to be - I’m not trying to be condescending or accomodating or dismissive of your tears and so forth. I’m sure I have caused you discomfort and pain and I think that’s regrettable, but… I want to ask you this. Do you think that the three families in Tuscaloosa, Alabama in the Fayette area have cried any tears over their loss?
TUMA: Objection, Your Honor.
DT: Sustained…
JT: Is it your belief, Ms. Ward, personally or in any capacity that these products that your client is selling and that your position on their behalf is that these mature rated products should be sold to children - even these cop simulation murder games - that they have no deleterious effect upon anybody?
TUMA: Objection, Your Honor. It’s irrelevant.
DT: Sustained.
JT: That’s also irrelevant, Judge? I’m sorry. That’s irrelevant?
DT: Yes, sir. It very well may be relevant in the Strickland case in front of Judge Moore. Not here…
JT: Well, let me ask you [MS. Ward]. What was the reason for your emotion? You cried, but then you said when we came back you didn’t know how angry you were.
WARD: I was angry; and, unfortunately, when I get angry, I tend to cry.
JT: Can you conceive that the families in Fayette are angry?
TUMA: Objection, Your Honor.
DT: Sustained.
JT: what do you think in ranking things is more important, hurt feelings or loss of life?
TUMA: Objection, Your Honor, as to the relevancy.
DT: Sustained.
JT: Have you any personal qualms about what your client [Take Two] does in this regard?
TUMA: Objection to the relevancy.
DT: Sustained.
And that's pretty much it guys. Read the actual article for more in-depth discussion but I just wanted to show you the worst parts. I promise the testimony of Judge Friedman(the Bully judge) is going to be a lot funnier.
Good night and Good luck.
Some say BigPopa was not born, but put together using the body parts of the greatest pimps ever to be born. Like some kind of freak zombie, sent here to roam the world. To play video games, terrorize women, and consume the largest amount of whiskey as is humanly possible.
You are not far from the truth...
As part of the legendary Goodfella's, BigPopa roames far and wide to find the perfect game, the perfect pair of tits and the perfect whiskey sour. Join him on this adventure.
BigPopa's Review Rankings:
1. Jailbait
2. One Night Stands
3. Beer Goggles Required
4. Brown Bag Special
5. Desperato
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