No monster in my pocket

So folks, as some of you may know, today was the release of Pokemon HeartGold and Soulsilver, at least for the important countries. What you are most likely unaware of is my utter inability to secure a copy. Yes, it seems grubby hands all across the land have stolen away every pocket monster they could find, managing to, in fact, catch them all. Well, okay, I could have got one copy of HeartGold, but really? Gold? A little tacky for my tastes.

Why have I mentioned this? Is it because I'm treating the community blogs as a place to write my whiny emo stories? No, though rest assured I will be donning my best black mascara to lament not getting to play Pokemon today. Is it because I'm hoping a generous philanthropist will send me free games and gummy worms? No, though my courier address is available on request. Is it because I have something to say about the perceived importance of picking up a game immediately? No, though - oh, wait, sure, I can write about that.

See, what I'm trying to convince myself, and what I chanted like a mantra as I struggled to refrain from knocking out and mugging the kid who left the store with copies of both games, is that not every game necessitates a day one purchase. That may seem obvious, but if I'm committed to pointing out something, I might as well make it easy on myself. Between all the midnight launches and the round-the-corner lineups it's easy to think some games have an expiry date or are rigged to self destruct if they don't leave store premises within an hour, but it turns out, most of them will keep (a notable exception being "Adventures in Cheeseland" whose much flaunted "Gouda CDs" was responsible for the closure and incineration of several retailers).

"But spoilers!" you cry. Yes, they will be out there, but trust me here, you can avoid them. I mean, don't trust me so much we try one of those "fall back and I'll catch you" things because honestly, I won't even try to catch you, but here at least I know what I'm talking about. My Xbox and I are in one of those situations where all we can do is gaze at the night sky and wonder if we're both looking up at the same moon, which is to say I don't get much of a chance to play it these days, but despite that I've succeeded at keeping myself in the dark about any games I'm interested in (not that I've ever had to work too hard at having no idea what's going on).

Don't poke your nose into anything that screams "here be spoilers", ignore whatever mentions the title like a troll does grammar, and you should be just dandy. These simply steps worked for Mass Effect 2 and for the Balkans War. I still can't tell you what happened in that second one.


No, really. Were they fighting for more pink on the map?

"But multiplayers!" you scream. Yes, you might not grab your level 93 Corporal unlock today, but in any game I've played, those kind of rewards are as available to someone who's jumping in months down the line as they are the first day purchasers. It could be said that coming to the party late leaves you lagging on the game's nuances, but in my experience that doesn't disbar anyone from playing the game. You'll probably find yourself at a loss against some of the tactics thrown at you, but catch a few of them and you'll be ready to play ball in no time.

As far as the life of the online community goes, I'm not suggesting you try and jump into an online game so old it predates the internet. Every game's following will dwindle with time That said, any good game's following will be going through the paces until the sun burns out or someone shuts the server down. People are still playing Halo 2 despite, and probably in spite of, a half a decade and another game or two in the series.

Really, if the game is good, it'll stay that way. The story and gameplay won't degrade over time. If whatever you have your eye on is worth purchasing, it should continue to be so regardless of how much of a rabid mob is vying for it.

Pick up a game if you want it. Be excited, get it while it's hot. However, unless you've got a fantastically pressing reason to pick it up - everyone you know and love will be playing it and won't talk to you unless you are too - don't be afraid to take a few days to miss out on the initial frenzy. Treat yourself to a nice, leisurely stroll to the store rather than a frantic race around town, furiously knocking women and children out of the way in the off chance that they might slow you down. Give yourself a chance to evaluate the product, see what the reactions to it are, decide if it's what you really want. Maybe use the time as an opportunity to play all those other first day purchases you desperately needed.

Just keep your hands off the damn Pokemon game so I can buy it on day one.


All for me you filthy mongrels!

An apple pie a day won't keep the doctors away

Today is also Pi Day. As I am both a nerd and a pie aficionado, I decided to bury my Pokemon sorrows in a kilogram of sugar and sweet, flaky crust. For your examination, I have documented the first 30 minutes of my return from the store.

Best day ever!


Feelin' good, going strong.


A kilogram sure is a lot of pie...


I'm done! Worst day ever!


Yes, I was defeated by a pie. I would hang my head in shame if my bloated stomach wasn't propping it up. Happy Pi Day people. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I hear someone challenging me to a second round.