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Beyamor avatar 2:37 AM on 04.26.2010  (server time)
Gentleman Dinosaur

I made a game that you can play.

But first, a shout out to today's recapper. It's Monday, so a certain cephalopod should be on the job. If I can speak to you directly for a moment, between the rigors of cramming for exams and prepping for the next term, I've been thinking about the future and I realize now that I want you - and our child - to have a place in it. Yes, I've had a change of heart. This time the child support is actually in the mail. Now, as a sign of trust in our new relationship, I'm going to have to ask you not to read the rest of this paragraph. Great. For the rest of you that exchange will have made little sense, but I hope you can find amusement knowing that the child support is not, in fact, in the mail. Clouds make terrible parents.

Right. So. Gentleman Dinosaur. It's a thing.

More specifically, it's a game dreamed up by the Podtoid crew in episode 51. Dinosaurs, uh, fight each other. They wear sophisticated hats, it's all very interesting. You can check out the work by Ms. Davis or some of GrumpyTutles's pictures for a better idea of what that entails, though fair warning that following those links will lead you to torch any art you've ever made to cleanse the world of such baser filth. The meme page can also serve as a guide to some of the stuff in there, but I'm hoping this can be equally reviled by everyone without the need to plumb the depths of Destructoid's culture. I would link something for "culture", but I can truthfully say anything worth linking to scares the bejesus out of me.

So, uh, yes, it's a game. It's an executable made with Game Maker and it should run on XP and Vista, probably on 7. Macs are a toss up. There's no install and the download is less than 3Mb. Playtime should run you about 5 minutes if you're a slow reader. It starts in full screen and can be toggled with F4. Escape to kill the monster and beyond that, the instructions should be evident.

I hate to be one of those guys that labors on about how inferior their work is, but there are honestly a lot of things in the game that could use some work. For one, I'm not big on fighting games, so I've never given much thought to how they behave and that combined with some cheating in the animating department means the action is sloppy at best (that should be innuendo for something). You can probably make it through by mashing furiously, but above anything else, especially the pitiable graphics, it's playable and I need to get this game out before the usual crushing pessimism damns it to the forever-unfinished pile. So, yes, it's rough, but hey, that's how we like it around here. Anyway, even though it didn't turn out quite how I imagined it and I might rework some elements, I'm content to put it out there,

There are a million other words to say, among them, "dear god I hope somebody likes this" and "good lord, how much of my life did I waste on this thing", but I'll spare you. Maybe I'll do a dev blog or something, but we'll save that for another time. I would like to give an extra special thanks to the people that volunteered their avatars, it made the game infinitely better. I think I got everyone that signed up. Some liberties were taken, but if that's a problem, let me know. Oh, and of course, thanks to you for reading, and maybe even playing.

And now I'm going to sleep. I hope you'll still be here in the morning. Good night Destructoid.

Right, that game that you can play.

Feng shuing the blog a bit, this is some unrelated ranting and rambling, artifacts from a tired writeup:

So, rant subject alpha. Quantum physics. Sweet Jesus. Tomorrow I'm going to be sodomized by electrons. So far I've only learned one thing in the course: differential equations are tedious little buggers. Let's see how far that gets me. But between studying for that and working to churn this out, I have ample reason to be a little groggy.

Ramble subject beta. I'm starting my third straight school term next week because around these parts that's how the cool kids do. I will never get to sleep. But, such is the university life. I'm doing another software term because, well, I don't know. Mech is interesting, the robots that will pour forth from my loins - er, fingers - if I take that route tempt me like a siren with servos, and academically, I've done a little better there. But I don't know. I like being able to do things with software. Working with code is like building castles out of candy floss. Anyway, we - or rather, I - will see. Since it is a heavier term though, I might not have as much time to waste on the internets, hence this possible but probably not ultimate blaze of inglory.

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