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How Megas XLR is blatantly better than No More Heroes.
BenelliM4 | 10:12 PM on 02.13.2010 30 comments


Does anyone remember that show Megas XLR? Damn I loved that show! It was just two things: Parodies and overkill. Most people say NMH2 is like that, but I wouldn't know; I haven't played it and never will. I have my reasons why that game pisses me off, and you'll know in due time why. (Or maybe I could just write a post about me shouting and giving vague hints about what just happened and make you pay $50 to hear it. Suck on that one, Suda.)

Anyway, after analyzing both characters thoroughly, I have come to the conclusion That Coop Cooplowski from Megas XLR and Travis Touchdown are very similar. Both enjoy wrestling, video games, and junk food. (Yeah, I saw that slice of pizza in your fridge Travis.) In addition, both would be considered losers if they didn't have their trademark weapons. (Actually, Coop's a car-tuner maniac; So give 'em points for that. But he also lives with his mom...) Both live in unorthodox conditions and get into odd situations regularly, and both can't really relate to normal society. Also, both have equally weird friends. (In Travis' case this is more of a 'had.')

But Coop, well... He's just... Better than Travis. In alot of ways. Let me explain:

Megas could kick the shit out of the Glastonbury.

Seriously, am I the only one who thought Travis' robot looked like a pile of shit? I mean, Megas has ejector fists, jets, windshield wipers, and it can open goddamn dimensional rifts! Glastonbury can... Umm... Well, like I said Travis' robot is shit. It has no missiles, lasers, time-travel units, or hot-rod flames; And it doesn't crush the shit out of the DMV. Also, Megas' sword is made out of fuckin' fire.


Hey, Travis, LOOK IT IN THE EYE. I DARE YOU.

Coop would go farther for Jamie.

If Coop's best friend Jamie was killed, or even injured by the Glorft, Coop would simply have to wreck fucking shop for him. He wouldn't wait for those squid-faces to exit null-void, he would take the fight to them! He'd teleport in, and be like "Bring it on you calamari motherfuckers!" And Coop's battle theme 'Short Hair' wouldn't play, 'Coma Dose' would play. (If not, a more brutal version of 'Chopping Spree' would play. Or possibly 'Dead Man,' that's a good one.) And the Glorft radio transmissions that would follow would make you fall off your chair laughing.
"HOLY SHIT IT'S THE EARTHER! AND HE'S HE PISSED AS FUCK! HIT THE DECK! KILL YOURSELVES AND DON'T LET HIM GET YOU! HE'LL RIP YOUR EYES OUT AND USE THEM AS BULLETS FOR HIS LASERS!!! SPARE ME GOD! DON'T LET ME DIE THIS WAY!!! IT'S INSIIIDE OF MEEEE!!!! IT BUUUURNSSS!!!"


Look, but don't touch. And credit for this photo goes to Morgan D. and his good friend Oliver Oberg. I know I don't usually credit photos, but Morgan asked nicely.

Kiva is WAY hotter than Sylvia.

Kiva Andru is a hot piece of ass. Sylvia is not. Sylvia is a cheating, lying, deceptive, bitch. Kiva could kick Sylvia's saggy ass. END O' STORY.


Umm... Ahhh... I need a minute alone. Hey, look a DS!

Ally is WAY hotter than Shinobu.

Face it, Shinobu is just a second girl in the storyline of NMH. Ally plays an important role in Megas XLR; If the Glorft kill her at the rock concert in the episode 'Terminate Her,' then Kiva never would have been born, Megas never would have been sent to the past, and Coop couldn't kick alien ass. What would NMH2 be like without Shinobu? Well, the answer is that no one cares. The fact that she did her job means that you don't have to give an explanation for what would happen if she wasn't there. You don't have to give an explanation for something that is never going to happen.


Maybe you should just leave the room.

Coop is stronger than Travis.

Coop is a BIG guy. He's taller than most people on Megas XLR, and he's stronger than most of them to boot. Seriously, Coop is a fucking behemoth! CRT-TV? Smashed. Tempered glass car window? Smashed. Vat of butter and hot dogs? Chugged. All of them done bare-handed. Can you name anyone who can do that? And even if you can, Travis Touchdown isn't on that list.


That move's called 'The Heartbreaker.'

Coop has an action figure.

A GODDAMN ACTION FIGURE! Does Travis have an action figure? NO. Besides Coop's action figure has 'All-You-Can-Eat-Action.' If Travis did have action figure, it would probably have 'Beam-Katana-Recharging-Action.'


See that? That's merchandising!

I stand corrected... By myself...

Alright, just so I didn't look like an idiot, I decided to Google 'travis touchdown custom.' And I found one... Damn...


I couldn't find a front view. Sorry Charlie.

But Coop's action figure is sold out!

Because Coop bought all of them! Suck on that one little kids!


They've still got Jamie's in stock. Than again, no one likes Jamie.

Megas XLR has a wider variety of music.

No More Heroes has what, 11 songs? Megas XLR has more than 80 songs and still more are undiscovered! The thing is, they're all really good songs! Not the same song you hear all the time in NMH, (Which really got on my nerves.) there's songs like 'Here We Go,' 'Midnight Rodeo,' 'Return Of The Caveman,' 'Ro-Sham-Bo,' 'Short Hair,' and 'The Conqueror.' Check YouTube for the 'Megas XLR Soundtrack Collection.'


This was the last result on the first page when I Google'd 'megas xlr soundtrack.' I chose this image because it's from one of Dtoid's own. Specifically, the great user known as 'SimonSaysDie.'

Megas XLR isn't on Youtube.

BECAUSE CARTOON NETWORK KEEPS ON PULLING THEM BECAUSE THEY HAVE COPYRIGHT PROTECTION BUT THEY DON'T EVEN AIR RERUNS ANYMORE BUT ANYTIME ANYONE PUTS ON EPISODES OF THIS SHOW THEY PULL THEM!!! BULLSHIT!!!

But that leads me to my next my point...

Megas XLR is denied from the public.

And as we know, if something is remotely desirable, the general public never gets to see it. God Hand 2, MadWorld 2, Duke Nukem games, Resident Evil 5: Wii Edition, Dead Rising 2: Wii Edition, Geist 2, Luigi's Mansion 2, Perfect Dark: Wii Edition, water-powered cars, free energy, world peace, 360's that don't overheat, (Boosh!) the list goes on, and on, and on! However, you can find NMH 1&2 .ISOs pretty much anywhere.


This was the first thing Google showed me when I searched 'denied.' It's fitting. But how to finish off the article...

How 'bout one more shot of Kiva?

Sounds good.


Mmmm.... Yeah... It still doesn't fell like enough though. Plus, the view isn't as good as the first Kiva pic. Those legs...

Maybe some 'It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia?'

Perfect!


This is one of my desktop pics.



Is this post awesome? Vote it up!

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25 comments | showing # 1 to 25
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Zeta Crossfire's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2010 22:42
Zeta Crossfire
+1 Flap for XLR, loved that show.
BenelliM4's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2010 22:58
BenelliM4
*Sigh* So do I, Zeta. So do I.
Airbr1dge's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2010 23:26
Airbr1dge
Oh fuck I loved megas XLR..
Enkido's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2010 23:39
Enkido
Megas XLR is the shit, it sucks that Cartoon Network doesn't do anything with it.
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 00:43
ace of knaves
I! Dig! Giant robots!
Havoc Fang's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 04:19
Havoc Fang
Megas XLR was better than Rugrats.
Wintersocks's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 04:24
Wintersocks
Megas XLR is better than cheese.

...Nevermind, I take it back.
Monodi's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 04:26
Monodi
Megas XLR was like the east coast version of No More Heroes. It got cut off just way too early. Do you think it would have filled a place on Adult Swim? Though its not as crude.
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 07:32
EternalDeathSlayer
I have no fucking clue what anybody here is talking about.

Clearly I am not one of the cool kids anymore. Perhaps it's time to start contemplating suicide.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 08:02
Jonathan Holmes
It's still weird to me that you hate No More Heroes 2 so much, even though you haven't played it.

Would it help to change your mind if you knew that Suda is a huge Megas XLR fan?
fryfry's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 09:18
fryfry
Ahh, memories. Too bad XLR went the way of most decent shows on Cartoon Network, the back door D:
wanderingpixel's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 10:08
wanderingpixel
Megas XLR was amazing!

I've heard rumors that Kevin Smith is a huge fan of the show and is interested in turning it into a live action movie.
HammerShark's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 10:22
HammerShark
I should rewatch this along w/ Invader Zim.
Dan CiTi's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 11:12
Dan CiTi
I'd say they're tied with Gurren Lagann as the best things ever.
low tech's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 11:27
low tech
XLR was and will always be God-tier of cartoons. Truly one of CN's finest.
Xzyliac's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 13:10
Xzyliac
THIS POST HAS MEGAS XLR AND IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA!

You've won blogging.
KapitanFiggs's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 13:18
KapitanFiggs
I completely concur with Xzyliac. This blog has excited me in a completely non-sexual way.
Mostly non-sexual.
Ah, who the hell am I kidding, TOTALLY in a sexual way.
T-rav's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 15:18
T-rav
Megas XLR and No More Heroes can coexist! They're both great!
BenelliM4's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 15:38
BenelliM4
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!
wilbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2010 18:45
wilbo
best show of all time
Anjo's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/15/2010 04:08
Anjo
Where can I find a larger version of that Always Sunny desktop wallpaper? That's rad.
BenelliM4's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/15/2010 06:20
BenelliM4
Google 'it's always sunny in philadelphia' and check page three of an Image Search.
Sillywhims's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/23/2010 21:24
Sillywhims
Hey man, nice rant! Megas > a lot of things.

Could ya do me a favor, tho? I'm the Jamie in the photo you posted and I'd appreciate it if you credited me (Morgan D.) and my friend Oliver Oberg (he took the photo).
Sillywhims's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/24/2010 21:14
Sillywhims
Thanks for the credits!
Haha..."his"...
Killereffect's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2012 06:51
Killereffect
The apt sources.list doesnt work anymore either. Ive gotten some success using the MythTV guide as a base from which to get Xebian up and running as well as possibly updated to etch. forfait internet forfait sans engagement sans engagement forfait bloque forfait mobile blackberry
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