Alright, I'm gonna split this up into two lists; WTGRON (Whether They Get Released Or Not.) and WTGR (When They Get Released.)
The first being I don't care what people say, I want to see these games. The second being that these games are pretty all lined up in the barrel; I just wanna know when they're gonna fire.
God Hand 2 - Who doesn't want to see this game get it's own sequel? (Aside from a select few. I know you exist and don't worry, I don't mean you. [Hey, a rhyme!]) Fans praise the colorful cast, slick moveset, engaging gameplay, and sweet music. (I'm listening to Broncobuster right now!) The thing I know this game could do is more of the same. But don't let that fool you, to quote Storm Dain "[About Burnout Paradise] More of the same GOOD stuff!" That's what GH2 could be, just a really great game that keeps with the spirit of the original. I think that's what we'd all like to see.
And if Capcom just disowns this game, someone gonna get their ass Double Shaolin'd.
Seriously, who doesn't want to see more of this?
MadWorld 2 - Pretty much everything I said about GH2, and everything I said in this. Platinum Games has already stated they would like to do a sequel. And you can bet your ass I'd preorder it!
Merchandising!
Duke Nukem Trilogy - I just looking for a reason to play my DS again. And if Duke Nukem can deliver, then I'll bite. Keep kickin' ass Duke!
Why am I not playing this?
F-Zero Wii - I'm gonna say this right now, I like my games arcade-style, and I loved F-Zero GX because it was a great arcade racer. (Which reminds me, I've yet to play the Burnout series.) It was also really challenging, and I thought the game pulled it off very well. Not like Mario Kart where everyone else so conveniently gets Mega Mushrooms and Blue Shells on the last lap. Anyway, The Big N needs to get the jump on this one, 'cause I'm on a serious shortage of racing games.
MOAR!!!!
Kirby Wii - Little pink puffball! You don't hear this from a lot of people, but I love Kirby more than any other Nintendo franchise. (Excluding Chibi-Robo, of course.) My favorite part was the colorful worlds and enemies, the huge array of powers, the music, and everything else that was in The Crystal Shards.
Hell yeah!
Perfect Dark Wii - You guys all know I prefer Perfect Dark over GoldenEye, right? Well, you can bet I was mad when I heard that the 360 was getting an updated version of Perfect Dark while the Wii got GoldenEye 2010! Can I just catch a break on this?
I think I'll go cry myself to sleep now. And yes, I know this is Perfect Dark Zero, not Perfect Dark XBLA.
Resident Evil 5: Wii Edition - C'mon now, Capcom, you know you can do this. This is fan service; Your bread and butter! And besides, why put Umbrella Chronicles, Darkside Chronicles, and RE1, RE0, and RE4 on the Wii if you aren't going to bring my most wanted game in the franchise to the system with the highest-install base?
Move the fuck over, Jason. Better hope you fall on that chainsaw, Leatherface. And Freddy, kill yourself. THERE'S A NEW NUT CRUSHER IN TOWN.
3D Dot Game Heroes - To be honest, I just wanna see if this game can be faithful to it's roots.
Karikaro Village, much?
The Grinder - A Wii FPS with online co-op, sequel potential, engaging gameplay, and running on the Quantum 3 graphics engine? Yes, please! Oh yeah, and the whole GOTY-winner-comparison thing.
Bring 'em on!
Gladiator A.D. - I'm interested to see how this will work. A timing-based, ultra-bloody Wii game; MOAR MADWOR- I MEAN GLADIATOR A.D. NAO!
FOR THE GLORY OF THE WAGGLE!!!!
Last Flight - This game is definitely one that I've had my eye on. It's a WiiWare title, and it will be released in episodes to allow accessibility. (It's alot easier to get a game over DLC than it is to get from GameStop.) It's also going to be a hacker-action-adventure, and your character sort of looks like Kyle Gass. It also takes place on a plane, you have loads of finishers, and the music will probably be awesome.
Come on Kage now it's time to blow doors down... Wait, is Dave Grohl the final boss?
Infinite Space - It's an ultra-customizable space-adventure DS game with promos featuring anime tits. Is there anything else I need to sell you on with this game?
Is it just me, or does that ship look like a cock?
Dead Rising 2 - It's been difficult to watch this game, because news about it has been rather limited. But so far, it seems to be a HUGE improvement over the original. With weapon creation, fast-paced minigames, and a Black Baron-esque pimp seen in one of the photos, Dead Rising 2 looks to be a large asset this year for Capcom; And I'm glad they have it. (I just hope someone adds a Frank West skin for the PC version. Not that my laptop could run it...)
That's it Chuck, just sit back and have a drink. Frank will take care of everything.
No More Heroes is praised as being one of the best games on the Wii, and many people are looking forward to the sequel coming out this year; I'm not one of them. Personally, I think this game got put on a pedestal because when it came out, there was nothing else like it on the Wii. But upon closer inspection, you can see the very large faults in this game such as the fact that Holly Summers is totally broken, Travis is a disrespectful shit (Did I say that out loud?), the combat sucks, and the graphics do not justify the shadow-lag. Read on to see why I did not review this game, but instead chose to tell you my experience with it.
Well I don't really know where to start, should I begin with the bullshit open-world mechanic, the nightmarish driving, or the people that wouldn't let me live down not playing the game? (John Holmes, I'm looking at you. I'm also trying to look at this guy named Keith, but he's not in the room now, so it's kind of difficult.)
So many things on this god-forsaken Wii Optical Disc to mock, so much room on this blog; Alright, let's start with the combat - It's good, if you like repetitive crap. Now, there's a reason Nintendo went with the motion-control scheme on the Wii, they wanted developers to be creative with games and their controls. But Suda decided to go with button-mashing... For a Wii game... I know, it doesn't make any sense to me either. If you ask me which I would rather have, button-mashing or waggle, I'll take waggle everytime because it's actually fun and it doesn't accelerate the deterioration of my wrists. (And now I'm looking at you RE4 QTE's. Ah, c'mon now, don't do that! Ass... ) Really, Suda did at least try to institute waggle in NMH. The finishers used Wiimote flicks and so did the wrestling moves. (Which really aren't 'wrestling moves' so much as they are grabs and combos.) Anyway, my verdict on the combat is that it is boring, uninspired, and monotonous. MOVING ON...
I coulda seen this playing MadWorld. And I wouldn't have had to pay $19 to get it.
Well, I guess I'll cover the overworld now. The town of Santa Destroy is a dull, boring place with eight or nine points of interest. Your fastest way around town is your motorcycle, which despite being able to take multiple crashes whereas the vehicle flips completely over at a speed of 5 MPH, cannot turn to save your life. The minimap is virtually useless due to the fact that it is almost always covered in Free-Flight Mission markers and you can't see where you actually want to go. I'm just glad that it won't bother anyone in NMH2.
Now let's move on to the characters and story. The characters are really predictable and honestly, I wish most of them had more thought put into them. We get it, Thunder Ryu's a homo, and Slyvia's a goddamn lunatic, but other than that, the characters don't really have that many characteristics. Mostly, the story couldn't hold my attention long enough and I don't remember most of it. So there ya go.
TRAVIS YOU FUGEN IDIOT SHOULDA KILLED THAT BITCH THE SECOND YOU SAW 'ER. LEAD ME ON SOME 20-HOUR BULLCRAP I WANT MA MONEY BACK.
Now we move onto the parts of this game I wanted to single out and attack individually - Which includes the recharging animation.
First, the phone calls, they break up the pace of the levels and are just a bad idea. And the only way to hear them is if you use the Wii Remote Speaker. And, of course, it's common knowledge that the only people who leave the speaker on are massive tools - And that's putting it lightly.
Second, the recharging, WE GET IT TRAVIS IS MASTURBATING. HAHAHA. I wouldn't have understood the reference if I hadn't watched it in Storm's Adventures. And the people who get the reference the first time they see it are, you guessed it, massive fucking tools. And while people may have thought it was funny the first time, chances are they aren't laughing the fiftieth time.
Third, I know what games I like and what I games I won't like, so please unless I say I want a good argument on why I should play a game please should your goddamn mouth and we can both get on with our lives.
Finally,Travis needs to get a real job, a haircut, and a real weapon. Seriously, lightsabers? Yes, I call them lightsabers, because that's what they are. Not this re-branding as 'beam katana' bullcrap they're trying to pull. GET A REAL SWORD, MAN.
Now THOSE are weapons!
Oh, and Travis looks and behaves quite alot like my brother Joe, which may have contributed to what I think about the game.
Aren't flash games awesome? Just when you think a genre's dead, someone thinks of a way to make it new again! And that's what I like about flash games; There's always something new. There's always a new concept or feature that hasn't been used. Well, as good as flash games are, I don't think the people that make them get enough respect. So that's why I'm making this list; To show you guys some really high-quality flash games that should get to take it to the next level.
1. Enigmata
Enigmata is a top-down space shooter with wonderful design and visuals that can really pull you in. The thing I love about this game is the fact that it never feels lacking; There's plenty of levels, enemies, bosses, power-ups, and equipment to experience, and it's getting a sequel soon! As you can see, I'm really looking forward to it, and I really hope that it will one day get a console rendition. (Mostly because it runs kinda slow on this old desktop I use, but I do want to see this game succeed.)
Woah.
2. Flash-DooM 2D
Platformers are usually kid-friendly, light-hearted games with little challenge and lots of bright colors. DOOM is the antithesis of kid-friendly, light-hearted, and colorful. So would you ever expect a platformer-Doom game to be made by anyone? Chances are no. But for knarrenheinz, the answer is a resounding 'Yes!' But onto the game: Flash-DooM 2D is a platformer game that cheated on Mario with the Space Marine. The child was a pixelated sidescrolling-shooter that has fun levels, all the weapons from Doom 1, and some sweet sprite rips. An extended version on XBLA would make my day. (Even if the day is December 21, 2012. But I don't buy into that stuff, so anyday is good.)
Step 1. Pull trigger. Step 2. Don't step in it.
3. Level Up!
Like the last game, Level Up! is an 8-bit platformer-adventure that oozes charm. You play as The Girl who has to help The Boy regain his memory by collecting red gems. Along the way, you meet a plethora of NPCs, traverse a well-sized landscape, and level up by doing anything. You heard me; Anything. I know this joke has probably been done before, but you know the old saying: 'A joke's all in execution.' And trust me, the execution in this game is flawless. You can level up jumping, running, interaction, relationships, and much more! Just be careful not to forget...
Did that lever just talk?
4. Music Catch
Music Catch is definitely one of my favorite flash games for alot of reasons: 1. It has a simple but fun concept; Using your mouse as a pointer, you collect music notes as various songs play. 2. It has stunning, but soothing, visuals that don't make your eyes pop out of your head. 3. You can upload music from the Audio Portal! (No membership required.)
I know, it looks sort of crazy right know, but if you play it, you'll know what I mean.
5. CrunchDown
Alright you've played Kirby, right? Alright, now imagine that Kirby got totally hammered one night and got Golden Axe in a corner; Nine months later, you've got CrunchDown! 8 levels of beat 'em up action, 6 challenging boss fights, and 25 abilties! (Oh, and don't forget the hats and funny cutscenes!) What more could you ask for?! Well, maybe some zombies. But that problem is solved by...
Now that's a sweet intro screen!
6. TOXIE-RADD
Top-down persective: Check.
Upgrades: Check.
Shambing undead: Check!
Comic-style cutscenes: CHECK!
Arms replaced with weapons: CHECK!!!!
An attitude of 'MOAR!': FUCKIN' CHECK!!!!!
As you can see, Toxie-Radd is a top-down zombie shooter with alot going for it. You play as a prisoner of Rose Prison who undergoes a gruesome experiment where his right arm is replaced with a multi-purpose gatling weapon. You know not this mysterious prisoner's name for the experiment screwed your memory to hell. All you know is you have a gun for an arm, a tattoo across your chest that says 'JOE', and apparently you live in a prison full of zombies! It is unclear whether the experiment that you underwent was for military purposes or so Joe could clear the prison of these walking meat-grinders, but you know that you want revenge, and you'll let nothing stop you.
Toxie-Radd already has a sequel that takes place after Joe escapes the prison and is aided by 'The Trader'; Another experiment who didn't get a gunarm, but is still useful nonetheless. In the second game, you search a rural countryside for a cure to your zombification disease. As I've already beat it, I know that It'll be getting another sequel next year!
This is a pic of level 1 because the game doesn't save your file after you beat it. You should totally play it.
Hype; It's a word I hear quite a bit when I talk about videogames. It's a word that we began hearing (And repeating.) in the last console generation, and I've never really understood what it meant. From context, it would seem to mean that a company gives a game some publicity, and it turns out negatively. But for clarification, let's check the definition of the word as a noun:
Hype - An ingenious or questionable claim, method, etc., used in advertising, promotion, or publicity to intensify the effect.
Well, there we go. Hype can be positive OR negative (Despite the majority of ways it's seen in text.) and it's traditionally used in advertising.
Now 'hyping' a game usually results in game being either underrated or overrated. But once again, I see these words alot; So what do they mean? Umm... Hang on, I'll be back.
Alright, I'm back. And I got the definition! Okay, here we go:
Undderrated - To rate or evaluate too low; underestimate.
Overrated - To rate or appraise too highly. To overestimate or overvalue.
Hmm... So I guess being underrated means a game gets little-to-no hype, but is still good, and a game being overrated means it gets too much hype and falls flat on it's face. Well I can think of a great many games that suffered from both conditions, but there definitely a few that top the list.
You get the idea? Good. I'll try to not repeat myself.
THE UNDERRATED:
5. Kingdom Hearts: Chain Of Memories
Kingdom Hearts is a great game series; So great, in fact, that it was rated #40 on 'Greatest Games Of The Decade.' But Chain of Memories is regarded by most of the people I know as the dark horse of the series. Why? The reason I heard from people I know was that it didn't 'match the quality' of the other games. And I can understand that. Maybe it didn't match the quality of the other games, but it's still really good.
I couldn't find very many in-game screenshots. Hey, at least it's not the PS2 cover!
4. Ty The Tasmanian Tiger
This game I haven't played in years, mostly because someone I know (Who shall not be named.) cleaned the disc improperly, and now it's useless! But still, I can remember my time playing this game. It was sort of like Banjo-Kazooie, with these huge, sprawling levels and tons to explore in a lighthearted platforming style with some enemies here and there to spice things up. Not a super-serious game, just something fun to play. It did get two sequels (Which I never did get to play.) but the lack of a 7th-gen title disappoints me.
The Gamecube cover art and PS2 cover art are flip-flopped. Google it. Oh, and while you're at it, try to find me a better picture.
3. Red Steel
YOU FUCKING KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS GAME. People wrote it off as glitchy, buggy, and as shovelware. Well, I stand against those people and say to them: "Have you even played it? The visual effects in shootouts and well-placed sword fights just make for an awe-inspiring experience! Unlike most things Ubisoft makes. (*Cough* Imagine games *Cough*."
Did you know that there is a form of martial arts that can be performed entirely while sitting down?
2. Donkey Kong 64
Gorillas beating the crap out of alligators: Awesome. Microsoft owning Rare and not working with Nintendo anymore: A dick move on Micro$oft's part. The N64 Expansion Pak: Out of stock.
I know, Rare developed this one; But I'm sure that Nintendo could get the rights to the scenario in a legal case, and if I could see a current-gen remake (Or even a Virtual Console release.) it would easily place in the Wii's Top 20 Games. And I KNOW I'm not the only one who feels this way!
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT. AND JUST RELEASE THE FUGEN 360 FAILURE RATES ALREADY. EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THE XBOX 360 OVEREATS, NOW IT'S JUST A MATTER OF EXTENT.
1. Tetris
Everyone likes Tetris! Or at least everyone I know. And I know that Tetris is one of the most widely-known games, but I just don't think it ever gets the credit it deserves. It's blocks. Just blocks. Not talking blocks that wear nanosuit armor or some other crap, they are just BLOCKS. And when you line 'em up, they go away! On paper, it doesn't sound interesting at all, but when you play it, you realize it's probably the simplest game that people still play on a regular basis.
I know people regard this as one the best N64 games ever, and I did have a copy, but I only played it because it was the only thing we had until we got Mario 64, and then DK64. I pretty much only played it because I had to. Not because I wanted to.
Manufactured for a select few. I was not one of them. Well, I mean I own a copy, but I wasn't the person who wanted it. I've still got it though.
4. Resident Evil
I liked Resident Evil 4 for the following reasons: The controls worked well and so did the camera. The maps show room layouts in an uncluttered way. The knife didn't feel like a last-ditch-effort weapon; You used it to save ammo. On the subject of ammo, the game always gave me enough the make some nice splatters with. Never once in any of the many playthroughs of RE4 was I ever stranded with nothing but my knife. Health was rather abundant, but did have to ration it.
I did not like the classic Resident Evil games for the following reasons: The camera angle is archaic and so are the controls. The game has no map; Really, if you're gonna make a game with a fixed camera angle, at least give me a map, or confess that this is a god-forsaken game. The knife didn't kill the zombies; you can stab 'em and slice 'em all day, but for some odd reason, they don't die. Which in the case of the classic Resident Evil games, isn't a good thing. Once you get the handgun and run out of ammo within the first few seconds of getting it, you realize that the classic Resident Evil games aren't very forgiving with ammo OR health.
'Of course you're out of ammo! Guess how many handgun clips are in this building! Go ahead, guess. If you guessed NONE, you're right!'
3. Gears Of War
If you like this game, fine, don't let me change your opinion. But I really do have to say something about this game; I played about 35 minutes of the normal combat at a friend's. Not online, not the end, not the tutorial, just normal combat. And most of the stuff in the environment I couldn't make out because of the use of color in the game. Or the lack of it. 'Where are the guys I'm supposed to shoot?' 'They're right behind that wall.' 'Umm... Where's the wall?'
The Xbox 360 can display 30 million+ colors. This pic displays about ten.
2. 007: GoldenEye
I know, not many people are gonna agree with this one, (Did I ever really expect anyone to agree at all with the top half of this post?) but some things must be said about GoldenEye. First, I had the same problem with this one that I had with Gears of War; The colors were all muddled, and I couldn't tell where anything was. I'm not saying that GoldenEye was a bad game, I'm just gonna say this: I had more fun with Perfect Dark. I'll leave it at that.
And if someone said that Perfect Dark had better boxart than GoldenEye, I would have to agree.
1. You People Are Gonna Kill Me If I Name A Game You Own.
I can already tell. I'll be quartered digitally if I name a game that one person on this site has actually purchased with real money. So I'm not gonna do it. I'm not playing a game of Russian Roulette with you people; And I know this is sort of a cheap way out, but you've gotta understand my dilemma here. But if you really want to know what #1 might have been, here are the nominated games: GTA 4, Super Mario Galaxy, and Street Fighter IV.
You read all that? Good.
DA REEL NUMBA WUN. Super Smash Bros. (N64)
Now whenever I talk about SSB, people think I'm automatically gonna talk about Brawl, but as you can plainly see, that is not the case here. Now one fine day, (For playing videogames, that is. It was pouring outside.) I decided to haul out my N64 from my closet, and replay some classics. I started off with Banjo-Tooie, then moved on to Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards. And I slowly made my way from Mario Kart 64 to Toy Story 2 (Say what you will, but I like it.) And then I arrived at Super Smash Bros. I inserted the cartridge into the control deck with anticipation, and then I realized just how hideously awful the original Super Smash Bros. was. The graphics were little more than jagged polygons with simple-color textures laid over them. And levels felt very narrow compared to the newer versions. All in all, it just wasn't fun to play. Even when I got two other people into the mix, very little fun was there to be had. So I decided to test something; So I got out Melee and we started playing that, and it was a blast, but it just reminded me of how little fun the first one was.
Ah, Spider-Man. Arguably one the best and most memorable superheroes to ever grace comics, and certainly my personal favorite. Of course, you can't talk about Spider-Man without talking about the Spider-Man movies. And you can't talk about movies without talking about movie-based games! And you can't talk about movies, movie-based games, and Spider-Man, with out talking about games based off of the Spider-Man movies. Which for what they were, are pretty good.
You know I'm playing this game, right?
But all games have a dark side, and for Spider-Man games, it's the collect-a-thons they turn into.
Dumb tokens.
Every game is a villain-beating, free-roaming, web-slinging adventure of endless potential!
That is until you complete the Story mode.
Friggin' tokens!
Costumes. That's all they unlock are costumes! You get the damn concept art just for beating the level, and then they want you to sink 15+ hours into a game just to get the costumes!
GODDAMN FUGEN TO- Wait, I never played this game. How was it?
Umm... *Filler so I can talk about the first game*!
The gameplay of Red Steel is something I definitely like. On one side,you have high-action shooting; BOOM!!! POW!!! EXPLOOOOSIOOOOOONS!!! 'You see that car? POW! POW! POW! KABOOOOM!!! NO CAR ANYMORE!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!'
That's what Red Steel is like. Lots of awesome explosions.
On the other hand, you have cool sword fights that break up the action; 'WAAACHAAA!!! HIYAAAA!!! you see your hands? SLICE!!! NO MORE HER- I MEAN HANDS!!! LOOK MA, NO HANDS!!! See your sword? KACHAAA!!! NOW YOU HAVE A GINSU!!!'
That's what Red Steel is like. Tons of sweet sword fights.
Controls
The controls of Red Steel are very... new. Alright, let me explain; I like how you have to shake the Nunchuk to interact with doors and windows and stuff. I like how you have to wave the Wiimote to say ''Yes' or 'No' and to make enemies surrender once you shoot the weapons out of their hands. To be honest, I like it and I hope it'll be in Red Steel 2. But on the whole in-game controls situation, I have to say it's not so bad. The focus system worked well with the A+C thing they had going.
Sword fights, however, are a completely different beast to tackle. First you have the basics: Slashing, blocking, and dodging. Slashing can be accomplished by waving Wiimote horizontally alot. (I've actually won sword fights that way; Which is slightly disappointing.) Then you have blocking, which just takes too much time and sometimes doesn't even work. Dodging functions well, however. And the first two turn out to be useless after you learn the Little Scorpion kata. Which is the only kata that I found can easily be performed and doesn't take a load of time.
Graphics
Well considering Red Steel was made with a Gamecube dev engine, it looks pretty good. Nice lighting on windows, cool cutscenes, sparks fly when swords clash, semi-destructible environments, and weapons have detailed reloading animations. And I can tolerate the cookie-cutter enemies because most of the time they're employees or something (Which left me wondering "Why does every worker in this auto shop have a gun?!") and it makes sense that they look alike.
Story
Alright, I might be the first to say it, but the story of Red Steel is really, really good.
First, you have to save your girlfriend Miyu from the traitor Ryuichi. Generic and tolerable. Then you have to find Ryuichi. Alright, this is good so far. Then you have to bring him a sword called the 'Katana-Giri.' Umm, okay. I coulda just put a gun to his head, but I guess it's about honor or something. So you go to Tokyo to bring Ryuichi the sword, which is where it starts to get blurry. If Ryuichi wanted the sword, why wouldn't he just keep Miyu in the States so he could get the sword faster? And why does the Sanro Kai (Yakuza district bosses. Formerly were presided over by Sato.) need your help before they can help you? If they all worked for Sato (Miyu's father; Yakuza clan boss.) before he died, why won't they help me save his next of kin? But moving on, Tokai (Ryuichi's boss. Wants the Katana-Giri for himself.) then gets a bunch of gun-wielding ninjas to steal the Katana-Giri. Wait, it took a metric assload of NINJAS armed with ASSAULT RIFLES to get one sword from one dojo? But none of them could stop one Asian guy named Scott? Yeah, your guy is named 'Scott.' Anyway, you have to go stop Tokai and get the Katana-Giri back. In the final two levels, you learn that your sensei has been poisoned, and you learn the reason Tokai is so obsessed the sword; His father was an old friend of Sato's who helped him form the Sanro Kai, but somewhere along the way he went batshit CRAZY and was decapitated by your sensei with the Katana-Giri. So Tokai plans to take vengeance on the Sanro Kai by decapitating ALL of them with the sword his father was killed with. After claiming victory in a one-on-one duel, Tokai tells you that he is the only person who has the antidote to the poison that plagues your sensei. Really? The ONLY person? I find that difficult to believe. So you spare his life and forgive him, and to thank you, you receive the antidote to the poison and Miyu is returned safely. All is forgiven.
At least it was pretty close to that. I don't exactly have a perfect memory, so I might have missed some minor stuff.
Challenge
Red Steel is definitely a challenging game, but sometimes it's because of poor level design rather than well-crafted challenge: There might be not enough cover in a room, or too much stuff that explodes, but for the most part, the challenge factor of the game is pretty even. And unless you use weapons poorly, ammo is really not an issue. (MP7\M40 combo > Ninjas.)
Fun
And here we are again.
What? You don't trust me? You don't think this game is fun? Well I'm sorry you can't appreciate it. I like it. Sorry we couldn't agree.
See, that's what I never heard from people when I said I didn't like No More Heroes. But I did play that recently; thought it was so-so. Definitely didn't have the level of fun people said it had. I was disappointed.
And THAT'S what I heard from people when I said I liked Red Steel. And that's the very definition of bullshit in my book.
Overall
Notice I didn't give this game a number score; That's because I want you to PLAY THE DAMN GAME AND APPRECIATE IT YOURSELF. MINE WAS $10 USED. YOU CAN'T SPARE $10 FUGEN DOLLARS?! HORSESHIT. MATTER A FACT, YOU CAN FIND NO MORE HEROES/ RED STEEL BUNDLES WITH BOTH GAMES NEW FOR $30 AT GAMESTOP. ALSO, I COULDN'T FIND ANYONE TO PLAY MULTILAYER WITH, BUT IF YOU LIKED GOLDENEYE ON N64, CHANCES ARE YOU'LL LIKE RED STEEL. THEY HAVE VERY A SIMILAR FEEL TO THEM, BUT RED STEEL IS DEFINITELY IT'S OWN GAME. DAMN, I FORGOT TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK! OH WELL, YOU GET MY POINT.
YOU EVEN GET IT MORE SO BECAUSE IT'S IN ALL CAPS. THAT'S HOW CAPS WORK RIGHT? YOU TYPE SOMETHING IN CAPS AND PEOPLE AUTOMATICALLY PAY MORE ATTENTION TO IT. RIGHT?
Plus, the M40 handgun looks the handgun from Duke Nukem 3D. That's 4 out of 5 stars right there!
DO WANT:
Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Tatsunoko vs. Capcom
Red Steel 2
The Grinder
Last Flight
Gladiator A.D.
Infinite Space
Trying to remain indifferent:
Actually, there aren't any games that are raising my blood pressure right now. Hooray!
Games I wish I could play:
InFamous
3D Dot Game Heroes
Splatterhouse 2010
Dead Rising 2
Resident Evil 5
Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press living the dream since March 16, 2006
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