[If your internet connection places you in Outer Mongolia, turn away now. I'm not kidding about the picspam. I could have just uploaded these to a Flickr album, but the commentary wouldn't be nearly as fun. Get yourself a sandwich and a cup of tea because we're in this for the long haul.]

I know, I know. PAX ended a month ago. But then I took a little drive across the USA with my good friends and Dtoiders, Mechman13 (Steve) and JJMcCallum (JJ), and I don't even care.

Wednesday

My PAX trip actually started long before PAX. My sister emigrated to Vancouver two years ago and I hadn’t been out to visit her yet because I’m an impoverished student and probably a bad person. Vancouver is also home to bushofghosts or katamayadamacy or Maya or whatever she goes by these days, so the weeks leading up to my trip were spent flailing about the four hour bus ride to Seattle. We ate an obscene amount of sushi and deemed this tweet from teh_tommy to be the best thing ever. The second tweet also sums up the trip pretty nicely, much to Maya’s chagrin. I am probably a bad person. Sorry, Maya. <3





We arrived in Seattle without me accidentally leading the US border control to believe that the pair of us were in need of a cavity search and four hours of questioning, and I made my way to my hotel, the Red Lion. There was a small congregation of smokers gathered outside the front door, so I dropped my bags and this happened.





We headed up to the hotel to watch cartoons and eat candy, and the boys seemed rather smitten with my hat from the Vancouver lookout tower. Not pictured is my first ever hug with Ecks, who gives the second best hugs ever. (I’m giving myself first place and the number of comments on the caliber of my hugs throughout the weekend would support this.) Ecks once asked me if you could miss somebody you hadn’t met yet. I think you can.

Later we went out for Thai food and played a hysterical game of Cards Against Humanity that may have involved me bagging the room a noise complaint on the very first night. Oops.

Thursday

Wednesday was also the night I learnt that Ecks' snoring bordered on a war crime and that no amount of putting pillows on my head or sleeping in the bath would fix that. Thursday morning saw me a grumpy, undignified mess. Or more of one than usual, at least. Of all the early morning wake up calls, however, there are worse people to have at your door than Maya.





Thursday night was the meetup at Gameworks, though how many games were actually played that night, I have no idea. People who hadn’t already spent the last couple of days in the city started to trickle in and many hugs were had. Andy liked my accent, Gobun screamed in joy at the presence of JJ, Spencer and I started the weekend-long diva off, and we all took advantage of an inebriated Bloodspray. Business as usual, then. Also pictured is community member Legion189, or at least a printout of his face. It spent several days in compromising situations (mostly crotches) and it was almost as though he was there in person despite being several thousand miles away in Argentina.























Fun fact: there are three people in this world who can get me to do shots. Two are Dtoiders and the other is my mum. The shots may have led to the next part of the evening, which was Bloodspray challenging everybody in a five-mile radius to an arm wrestling match. He valiantly defeated JJ and Gobbldigook, only to have his ass handed to him by PanaMusica and Gobun.

For the record, Gobun is the best trash talker I have encountered in recent memory and played Bloodspray like a banjo. He'd let Bloodspray push him almost to the point of victory, only to go "NOPE" and slam him down. Not even my cajoling of, "Conor, if you lose you're a cblogger," could spur him onto victory, though these comments did encourage a mighty roar of indignation and a few degrees of leeway.

The following week saw Bloodspray at work with no memory and an arm too sore to write reports with.









Friday

Because I'm a masochist, large parts of today were spent with pretty boy Spencer Hayes and filming interviews with indie devs. But you don't want to hear about that, so here's pictures from the Destructoid Live Panel.

Sadly, food fashioned into projectile weapons were strictly banned at the third edition of the Dtoid panel, but that wasn't going to stop us from shenanigans. In lieu of an actual presentation, the slideshow consisted of randomised (and often hilariously inappropriate) pictures pulled from Google images and we were also treated to an animated segment of Podtoid. This went down to cheers and raucous laughter, which became slightly muted when we realised that PanaMusica's young kid had watched the entire thing with us. Oops.





















































Saturday

We hadn't actually had anything planned for Saturday, or at least not until Gobun sent out a message on the Twitters telling us all to go to Elephant and Castle. We made a quick trip to the store (because crisps, Oreos and ice tea are known for being a balanced diet) and couldn't resist going on Streamtoid, which broadcast to a whole three people before we had to kill it after making no less than seven policy infringements in the space of ten minutes.











When we finally headed to Elephant and Castle, Josh decided it was a good idea for us all to do Irish Car Bombs (it is never a good idea to do Irish Car Bombs), Gobun gave me the piggyback he promised me on Twitter a while back, and Gobun and Spencer went into a stairwell (I know, I know) to trade clothes, which is totally manly and heterosexual.















When the bar closed and the party moved outside, I was treated to my favourite conversation in the entirety of PAX. Spencer, diva that he is, told me to shut up over something. A diminutive (and rather drunk) Asian lady sporting a brightly-coloured wig, with whom I'd made friends in the elevator the day before, was in earshot and the exchange went as follows:

"You can't tell her to shut up! She has a voice and will not be silenced!"

For the first time that weekend, Spencer was lost for words.









The legendary Husky Hog had also got his hands on numerous Dtoid stickers and was intent on leaving his mark on the great city of Seattle. I present these pictures without comment and the plea to not to fired and/or arrested.







Sunday



As the majority of you reading this won’t be of the British inclination, you probably won’t understand what I’m talking about when I mention Jaffa Cakes. And for this, you have my sympathy. Allow me to enlighten you. Jaffa Cakes are a type of cake. (Spoilers.) They’re filled with orangey goodness, dipped in dark chocolate and totally worth shanking a bitch over. They also come in a tube, which, when empty, can be slammed with enough force that the lid is expelled at reasonably high speeds, becoming what I lovingly refer to as a Jaffa Cannon. I’d brought a tube over to spread the Jaffa gospel and fellow community troublemaker Andy Dixon bet me a dollar I couldn’t hit Hamza on the head with it. Never one to back away from a challenge, I stepped up to the plate, aimed the tube in his direction, slammed down hard and waited. The lid sailed through the air in a majestic arc and, almost in slow motion, landed squarely on his perfectly coiffed head. Andy wordlessly handed me a dollar, and thus started my career earnings in the States.

Hamza destroyed my Jaffa Cannon because he’s a jerk.











Then we all said goodbye and Andy Dixon and Gobun made me cry because they're jerks.

Portland



I left Seattle snot-ridden and several degrees warmer than the average human being. We stopped off for breakfast and, in a fine display of what I consider to be the American dream, I was hugging the toilet bowl in a Denny’s bathroom even before my ridiculously-sized portion of pancakes arrived to gloat at me. In short, I was pretty ill. Naturally, I thought it best to have an early night with a cup of tea. Or, drive a couple of hours to Portland to hang out with Jon Bloodspray, which is what we actually did.

Those are fairy tattoos. They glow in the dark. Mine lasted a week and Bloodspray proudly wore his to work. We also made midnight trips to 7-Eleven for energy bars and played I MAED A GAM3 W1TH Z0MBIES 1N IT!!!1, but the real point of this is that we had glow-in-the-dark fairy neck tattoos and are probably cooler than you. We also Skyped my mum and a drunken Bloodspray pretended he was in an episode of Doctor Who.

Utah



“So, where did you guys meet?” I’ve come to almost relish the awkward silence when I explain how I met a friend on the internet. Internet friends aren’t what they used to be, but it’s a foreign concept to many. Facebook, Twitter, Skype, and even Google+, the Irish red-headed step-child of social networking, have ensured that faceless anonymity is a remnant of the past for those who want it to be. It’s reached the point where I drop the “internet” prefix altogether. But Steve’s family are polite and Mormon, so they just smiled.

San Diego



This is community member mid3vol, or Mandi, as I know her. We’ve met once in the two years since we started talking and we live 5400 miles apart. I also consider her to be one of my closest friends. I’d had a quip prepared for when I’d be standing on her doorstep in San Diego, something about asking her if she’d accepted Jesus as her lord and saviour. But when a pint-sized Californian is hugging your significantly taller self and trying (and failing) to lift you up, you start to worry about ruining the moment.

See you soon.



I genuinely wasn't planning on coming to PAX next year. At all. I have a friend teaching out in Hong Kong at the moment and I've said that I'd tour the South Pacific with her next summer. Due to last month’s shenanigans, I have no money. To top it off, I was all for taking a step back from Dtoid after PAX thanks to my final year of college. And then just two hours into Wednesday evening, I looked at JJ and he looked at me and we both knew we were coming back.

We often talk about being a family here at Destructoid and it’s not a word I throw around lightly. However, the community here has been such a large part of my life for the last two years that anything less would be an insult. I’d be lying if I said that it’s always been easy, but that’s family all over, right?

Family is sushi on a bus ride from Vancouver. Family is Cards Against Humanity, piggybacks, dogpiles, faux-British accents and Irish Car Bombs in Seattle. Family is glow-in-the-dark fairy tattoos in Portland. Family is talking until 03:00 on a hotel corridor overlooking a San Diego freeway. Family is driving 3471 miles across the United States. Family is struggling to keep it together in a Boston airport because you don’t want to leave.

You’re my family, and I love you for it. See you next year.

I'm not sure if you've got the memo, but the Eurogamer Expo isn't actually about games. "But Beccy!" I hear you cry, "the clue's in the name, you dumb broad." Yeah, well. Welcome to DtoidEU, son. We've got a whole load of things lined up across the weekend and here's what you could be getting in on.

Thursday

Thursday's a reasonably quiet one as most people don't get in until Friday evening, but I'll be in central from lunchtime and the Thor-like Adam and I are going to eat all of the Chinese food. All of it.

The lovely Ben Bateman is also hosting another Tank Cat (read: numerous drinks), so there's a few of us going along to Bar at One at London Bridge for the evening.

Friday

It begins! While most people aren't attending the expo until Saturday, there's a handful of us milling about the show floor today. I, for one, intend on nerding it up at as many panels as humanely possible.

Devout fans of Joseph Gordon-Levitt that we (read: Nik) are, Friday evening is going to be spent watching Looper. The film starts at 21:00 at Marble Arch Odeon and tickets are £12.50 (£11.50 for the young degree-inclined amongst us.) We'll be aiming to get there at 19:00-19:30 to buy tickets and then we'll grab a bite to eat on Oxford Street before the film. Steer clear if flagrant displays of homoeroticism make you uncomfortable.

Saturday

Blah blah video games blah. As most people will be attending on the Saturday, today seems like the best choice for the obligatory group photo, so I've pencilled it in for 17:00 outside the entrance to Earl's Court One. Bring your sexy.

We'll then grab a quick bite to eat before heading off to the Stick Twiddler's afterparty in aid of Special Effect, at 18:00, which is only a five minute walk from the expo at The Pembroke Arms. It's a sold out event, so if you haven't got your ticket I'm afraid there's not much we can do for you, but I'm sure we can at least find a decent pub nearby for those without. Remember your JustGiving receipt to speed up entry on the door!

Sunday

Hopefully you're all still alive today, because we've got even more planned. We're having dinner in Soho, probably at Princi's. We haven't got a reservation, so we'll just aim to get there when everybody has had their fill of the expo. Princi's is an Italian panetteria (because we're classy) and comes highly recommended by Aidan. We'll then head to B@1 Soho where there's 2-4-1 cocktails for £9.50 all night.

We then all hug and cry and go home.


Sorted? As ever, the mailer, the forums thread and my Twitter, @chromatogram, are all great ways to get involved. You'll probably stumble onto a group of us on the showfloor, but if you don't, please feel free to send me a tweet and I'll come and find you. We're a friendly bunch (mostly) and these expos are about so much more than video games.

See you soon!

Rezzed is a new two-day event from Eurogamer.net and Rock, Paper, Shotgun dedicated to showcasing independent PC games. It's going to be held at the Brighton Centre (at the seaside!) over the 6th and 7th of July and will cost £12 per day or £20 for both days.

The games and speakers on the showfloor will include Aliens: Colonial Marines, Q.U.B.E., Nyamyam, The Creative Assembly, Prison Architect (Introversion Software), Sniper Elite V2, Stronghold Kingdoms, WarMage Battlegrounds & Xenonauts, with more to be announced over the coming weeks. Hit them up on Twitter, Facebook or the official website for more info.

Basically, who wants to go to the beach and eat ice cream? There's a few of us planning on heading down for at least of one of the days and train fares from the London area can cost as little as £5 each way sans railcard. Brighton's full of cheap accommodation for those wishing to stay over too.

Leave a comment, check out the forums thread or the mailer, send me a tweet at @chromatogram or drop me an email at beccy@destructoid.com to get involved!

As you may or may not know, Hamza and Niero will be flying to Europe next week and will be travelling around for about three weeks or so.

Jan 17th-23rd -- Stockholm
Jan 23rd -- Munich/Frankfurt/Belgium/Amsterdam
Jan 30th -- Paris
Feb 5th -- London
Feb 11th -- Return to the US

I know a visit to t3h lair is the in works, so if that involves you mistic will have the details! As for the UK folks, we're planning a NARP for the 10th of February. What we're actually doing is still up in the air, but once I know more I'll let you know.

As ever, you can also stay in the loop by getting involved in the mailer or dropping me an email at beccy@destructoid.com.

It's been a whole three months since the Eurogamer Expo and mere days since the Namco vs. Capcom Industry Fight Night, but if NARPs had a reason they wouldn't be called NARPs. If you're in the London area (or indeed, further afield and willing to travel!), here's what we're up to this weekend:

Our plans for Saturday involve the Southbank Christmas markets, the Winter Wonderland at Hyde Park, Tex-Mex in the evening and a good catch up over some drinks.

On Sunday we're heading to our second home, Bodean's, for some BBQ pig because it's not a DtoidEU meetup without BBQ pig. Finally, we're spending a few hours in Westfield shopping centre to further revel in that nauseating Christmas spirit and perhaps catch a film. (Read: talk more, find more beer.)

We've got 20-25 people in attendance across the weekend from various far flung reaches of the country, including JJMcCallum who's flying down from Scotland in what's quickly becoming routine. Major props for his dedication. It's bound to be a fantastic weekend with great company, and I may be biased, but I'd thoroughly recommend hanging out with this lot. Even Half Left.

Interested? As ever, hit me up on @chromatogram on Twitter or send me an email at beccy@destructoid.com for more info, or get involved in the Dtoid EU mailer.

"Panchromatic film is a type of black-and-white photographic film that is sensitive to all wavelengths of visible light. A panchromatic film therefore produces a realistic reproduction of a scene as it appears to the human eye. Almost all modern photographic film is panchromatic, but some types are orthochromatic and are not sensitive to certain wavelengths of light." -- Wikipedia.

Perhaps less interestingly, that's also me. Or rather, used to be. As mentioned in my last (read: only other) C-blog post, my name is still Beccy, I'm still a student from the UK and I still love video games. The only difference is that from November 1st, I'm your new European Community Manager. Yo.

I write this from France, having moved here two weeks ago to teach English, and can owe my continued existence to my near continuous use of Google Maps and copious amounts of ice tea. I joined Destructoid last August, and can be seen flitting between the forums, Steamtoid, IRC and the EU mailer. Since joining, I have attended the Eurogamer Expo (twice), gamescom, several meet ups (two of which I hosted), and logged an inhumane number of hours on Skype and various social networking sites. In short, interacting with you guys has become a large part of my daily life and I consider many of you family. The type of crazed extended family one normally doesn't discuss in polite company, but family nonetheless.



My new role came along after our beloved Hollie Bennett accepted a position at Namco Bandai as their new Consumer and Community PR in the UK. In a real testament to just how much Hollie accomplished at Destructoid, her role is being split in two: my new partner in crime, Becca Roberts, will be taking over Hollie's PR duties and continuing BritToid, while I'm taking over the community aspect, namely running the EU Mailer, maintaining the EU presence on the site and organising the NARPs and European expos. In short, I'm all about you guys. Yay!

(We're all well aware of the inevitable confusion that will arise from Beccy and Becca. Sorry.)



This is Dtoid EU (well, a large contingent of it) in our third year at the Eurogamer Expo. We're on a tank. It's what we do. In a nutshell, my role is to ensure that next year we need an even bigger tank. So get involved! We eat obscene amounts of barbecue pork, drink cocktails, sing karaoke and occasionally play games. The best way to do this is to sign up to the EU Mailer via Google Groups here.

Any questions, suggestions or torrents of abuse from angry Scotsmen can be directed to beccy@destructoid.com or @chromatogram on Twitter.

Also, cocks. <3