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10:07 PM on 04.02.2012

Isaias Talks About: Epic Mickey

The second I heard there was going to be a sequel to Epic Mickey, I jammed a gun into my mouth, ready to pull the trigger while crying. That was until I heard about all the problems that were being addressed in the sequel. So to ďcelebrateĒ, Iím going to recall my impressions and overall experience of the first Epic Mickey. As you can see from the first two lines, it isnít good.


So just a quick run down on the story: Mickey goes into Yen Sidís place, fucks up the home of the forgotten Disney characters, has to make amends with Oswald and destroy the evil blots using a paint brush that shoots paint or thinner. Honestly, the combat is one of the many things thatís wrong with this game. You have the option to either shoot paint to befriend enemies and leave a positive impression on other characters or erase them and be shunned by the community. I find that doing either does little to impact the ending. Most of the enemies are extremely annoying. Knocking you into pits that kill you or into paint thinner which adds extra damage. The bosses are very underwhelming. They donít fight like normal bosses most of the time. In most games you drain their health until they die, but these bosses play out like scripts. Itís like a boss you have to knock into a pit in order for them to die. In one of the bosses you have to sabotage their machine which theyíre not connected in any way soÖ..yeah.

Warren Specterís goal was to make you feel bad for not recognizing some of the forgotten Disney characters. Well, I felt pretty terrible from the camera controls. Does that count? But then that just brings up an important question: How can you feel bad for not remembering someone you donít remember at all? I mean, you would have to have developed some sort of bond at first. Iíve had that same scenario in real life and I just felt a little embarrassed I didnít remember them. But honestly, who cares. I couldnít care less for Clara Cluck or Charlie Horse.

His nameís Horace Horsecollar, dumbass.

As Iíve mentioned before, the game has a heavy emphasis on morality. Saving or defeating enemies impact whether youíre good or bad in the eyes of Oswald and the other characters. Youíll also come across characters that need help with something. You can choose to ignore them and receive bad karma or help them out and get that good feeling inside<3. Sometimes in games I donít feel like helping everyone I come across so the game punishes you if you donít want to bother with their problems. Usually those missions consist of helping out robot versions of Goofy or Donald by finding their missing parts, or fetching something for someone. Doing all those missions felt more like a chore than a game because of the repetitiveness.

Iíll find those clues!

Now one thing Iíve noticed about games that fall flat like this is the material it works with. Epic Mickey borrows settings and characters from other Disney material like Peter Pan, Tron, and the ride from Itís a Small World. Itís just that they donít fit in Mickey Mouseís universe. I feel as if theyíre obligated to use those properties because itís Disney. They just mix in anything and think theyíll get A+ material. It also didnít help how they wanted to make it dark and edgy. When I had first heard about it I didnít think much of it, but everyone else thought it was awesome. I think thatís a huge problem with most people today. Edgy-ness + Something Not Supposed To Be Edgy = BEST THING EVER. That sort of thing just doesnít belong in a Mickey Mouse game.

What theÖ

Now, it pains me to say all of this about this game because there are things I love about his game. The music is great and cartoony. Especially the main theme for Mean Street, the gameís hub world. I also happen to be a HUGE fan of the style of cartoon characters from the 30s and 40s so the inclusion of Horace Horsecollar, Clarabelle Cow and especially Oswald. Iím not going to lie, I never knew about Oswald until Epic Mickey, but I like him more than Mickey because heís got a strong character trait. Yeah, heís pretty pissed.

Youíre fired.

I also love the animated cutscenes, but I think it would have been good to include voice acting since the text speeds by, just giving you barely enough time to read it. The visuals are so beautiful I would LIKE to take the time and look at dem purty pictures. I normally donít care if I have to read dialogue, but many people are opposed to it regardless.

UGH! You mean I have to READ!?

So hopefully the sequel fixes all those problems. The voice-acting, the repetitive missions, the lackluster bosses, and the god awful camera control. I just really want to like this game because I love Disney. Well, the old Disney. Not that teen pop bullshit.

Right on, Dude!

1:32 PM on 03.22.2012

VG Memories: Pac-Man 2: The New Adventures

This has got to be one of my most favorite games of the Super Nintendo. Pac-Man 2: The New Adventures stars (as you may have guessed) Pac-Man! Unlike the first game, you donít control control Pac-Man directly. You take control of a slingshot, shooting at things to help guide Pac-Man, complete objectives and, more importantly, staying out of trouble. There are four episodes in all. Each requiring you to do something as simple as getting milk or putting your life in danger to get a birthday present. Come to think of it, the intros to every episode plays out like a sitcomÖ

An interesting bit that plays in this game is how Pac-Manís mood can determine the outcome in situations. His emotions can range from Happy to Depressed to Cocky to just Fucking Furious. For example, when heís confident, heís more than happy to jump over a dangerous chasm. When depressed heís very hesitant and needs a little push. When heís angry heís willing to pick a fight, even with someone clearly bigger than him.

Of course Blinky, Inky, Pinky, and Clyde, who are lead by the Ghost Witch, are around to try to get rid of Pac-Man in every episode. They will appear in every opportunity they can get to slow down Pac-Man or just outright destroying him. This is when you, as the player, comes in to help him out. Pac-Man is 100% vulnerable to the ghosts. Shoot him a power pellet and heís ready to kick some ass as Super Pac-Man!

Back then this was a whole new experience for me. It really played out as a Saturday Morning cartoon with all the situations Pac-Man can get into. I always wondered what new areas I could discover if I made Pac-Man happy or mad. I think the reason this game holds so much appeal to me is the overall silliness and humor. For example, the Ghost Witchís main plan to get rid of Pac-Man (and possibly take over the world) is to steal all the chewed gum from children to create a gum monster. Why they couldnít buy gum and chew it themselves is beyond me. I guess itís more evil if they steal itÖ

I love how Blinky is struggling to get that gum.

Like I said, itís silly. Thatís the best possible word I can use to describe this game. But thatís why I really love it. Itís not afraid to have fun with its premise and itself. Whether itís fighting a cat for a hot dog, Pac-Manís exaggerated emotions or battling a monster made of gum, I canít help but laugh my ass off and enjoy it.

If you ever plan on getting this game I would suggest getting the Super Nintendo version over the Genesis because Pac-Manís voice is what really makes him enjoyable to get a reaction from. I think itís on Amazon for $5. That includes shipping! When getting through all episodes, I canít help but think about how much fun I still have with this game after 17 years. No other game can match the wit and charm this one has left on me. *sob* Ha ha.

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