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BeZen blog header photo
BeZen
Posts 0Blogs 4Following 15Followers 2


 

360? You've got to be kidding...

If you read my first blog, you could tell I was not all about the 360 or the PS3. Joe (Buckfitches) finally convinced me to take the dive (along with games like Bionic Rearmed, SF2 HD, GTA4, etc.) so I waited for my opportuni...

 


NARP Cincy: Boom or Bust? (Poll)

Many thanks to all who attended... Before I lay out my opinions about the NARP Cincy, I would like to know what other attendees felt about the party. No overhyping please. Just comment with your honest opinions about what went wrong, what went right, and what suggestions you have for the future.

 


NARP Cincy: Sloth says "Hey you guys!"

Just got back from the Hotel de Ramada (site of the NARP pre-party). Good times. Massive Rock Band singalongs occured, blow up dolls were fondled (I think BuckFitches lost his virginity), and (Cincinnati famous) LaRosa's pizz...

 


Yo Peoples

Hello world. I am like that underwear gnome you swear leaves skid marks in your skivvies: some of you swear to have seen me, but no one knows my name. Actually, I have met some of you. I'm that guy - often referred to as "J...

 


About BeZenone of us since 1:51 PM on 05.13.2008


I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
 

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