Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's that time again. This time, I seem to be in before Jim Sterling (I didn't see a post doing the same article, anyway).

The image above is the part which contains the information where someone, who decided to try to burn down his school, had 'programmed his own 'shoot 'em up' style computer games' and 'said his influence was the Doom series'. The short story is that the police were tipped off by a fellow internet user in Canada who believed the fella's claims of attacking his school 'with arson and other forms of violence'. Police then turned up, searched the 16-year-old, and found a fuel can, matches and a knife. Understandibly, he was detained under the Mental Health Act.

Since the guy's life is all over Bebo, the paper (Eastern Daily Press) lists his influences. I've got the scans of the articles (which are in high image quality, so will take a long time to load) here;

http://img441.imageshack.us/my.php?image=attleboroughhightwo.png

http://img441.imageshack.us/my.php?image=attleboroughhighthree.png

http://img441.imageshack.us/my.php?image=attleboroughhigh.png

What is real scary for me is that this was going to happen at Attleborough High School, a couple of dozen miles away from where I live.

On a final note, the most interesting part of the article was this;

He had also completed an online survey with one question asking "How would you like to die?" His response: "Shot in the head by a Colt.45 at long range."

Another asked "First thought when waking up?" To which he answered: "Humanity fails."

No, humanity hasn't failed. This psycho has. Here, have a high-speed facepalm. ¬_¬

I managed to get my copy of GamesTM through the post, and I already discovered a few games that I know a few of you should be interested in....



I noticed a PSP version of the Nippon-Ichi life-sucker on this scan. It's pretty clear that because of the success of the first Disgaea on the handheld that a release like this would happen.

I also saw the title Legends of Zork. Since my scan cut off the edge of the text, I'll give the description to you in full here;

Format: Web
Publisher: Jolt
Developer: In-House

'The adored Infocom text-adventure series is to be revived as a web-based MMO for casual players. Though still a traditional adventure story, the world will be persistent and players will be able to work together or share information to solve the mystery. As well as working through a browser on PC and Mac, Legends of Zork is also intended to function on iPhone so that it can be played anywhere at any time.'

So, you may be likely to be 'Eten Lk A Gue'.



However, the most interesting piece of news I have is that someone (Game Arts) is making a TMNT beat-em-up. Whether it will be as good as the SNES one-on-one, or something like Super Smash Bros Brawl (since developer is formed from the same team), we'll have to see.

Comments, as always.

Batthink out.

The meme was too powerful for me. After finding out a lot of interesting things about the D/Toid crew, I now step into the ring. There are more facts about myself that I could divulge, but I won’t list them for various reasons.

Let’s begin.



1. This picture is me, and my name is Daniel. Now, it may look like I have a strawberry surgically-attached to my hooter, but that is because I was born like that. I seem to have inherited my father’s mottled nose, which I admit to being the only section of my face I don’t like. Most of my body seems to contain my mother’s genes, which has its pros and cons. I don’t bother to comb my curly hair (which doesn’t seem to tangle often as it used to), and I don’t overdo personal hygiene. If the body is a temple, then mine’s actually in pretty good nick.

2. I have double-jointed legs. People have remarked that whenever I sit down and cross my legs, “that is weird what you do with your legs”. I never really thought much of it, and I don’t really think I have much of an advantage, other than surprising people when I sit on the floor.



3. I am a warehouse worker. I used to think I was into a computing-style job with my love of videogames, and ended up working in administration. Blessed with the ability to touch-type but cursed with the behavioural symptoms of OCD, I found the going tough. I wasn’t keen on picking up phones, and I would occasionally burst into tears if the going got too tough.

A mistake in my job-seeking led me to take a temporary position as a warehouse worker, and although I look back with some regret at certain decisions I made, I managed to get the job I feel happiest at. I now work at a major supermarket-chain, the people are great and I have a secure post in these troubled times that pays the bills and funds my videogame habit. Like Genesis sang, ‘I know what I want, and I love what I do’.



4. My interest in anime was stoked by Mysterious Cities of Gold. America and Germany have their televisions piping with anime, but here in Britain, we are lucky just to get drip-fed it. Nowadays, we have our Yu-Gi-Oh’s and Pokemon, but pre-Pokemon, you needed satellite to get a chance of a daily dose. Back in the 80’s, anime or anything approaching it was virtually non-existent. That was until we got a ‘holy-trinity’ of cartoons that left a huge imprint on my mind… Belle and Sebastian (a live-action version existed, but I only knew the animated version), Ulysses 31 and Mysterious Cities of Gold. I can’t say for sure that these were anime, but they had a similar style. I already have Ulysses on DVD, and I may get Cities of Gold soon. Cities of Gold in particular had a big part of my heart, for the giant flying golden eagle has been etched into memory as the greatest thing I ever seen on television.



5. Evangelion means a lot to me personally. Now before you all facepalm, going “oh crap, not Shinji Ikari”, I’d like you to know that I actually not so much like the character, but empathise with him. I was very introverted and got teased at school, leaving me very much using the world of videogames as an outlet. I had a decent collection of anime on VHS, and then came across the first volume of Neon Genesis Evangelion in the bargain bin of (the now online-only) Woolworths.

After watching the series, I was befuddled by the ending, but still happy. Others who watched the series and the movies, however, were a little unhappy, especially at the negativity of Shinji. However, after looking at articles in Manga Mania, as well as taking the End of Evangelion and Gurren Lagann into account, I started to understand what the director was trying to do with Shinji. He was not trying to make the character likeable, but to present him as a warning about what happens if we don’t take measures to sort out his kind of passive/self-destructive behaviour. Whilst I have meandered about in my own downcast way, I have managed to get help with my problems and have a better outlook on life. For me, I really wanted Shinji to succeed, because I saw elements of myself in him.



6. I’d like to cosplay, but I am very lazy and shy. Yup, that’s right, I wouldn’t mind having a go. Ever since I had the realisation that I might have the personality of an otaku, I’ve been very keen not to admit it in front of people. Despite being able to dress up as a highwayman about twice, I’m not really able to bother stitching/hunting down specialist clothing or going to ‘cons. Make of that what you will.

7. I am a very late developer. I learnt to ride a push-bike without the stabilisers, but my older brother must have learnt quicker than me. I bought my first music album about fourteen or fifteen. My first movie I ever saw at the cinema was X-Men (I am now 27, so I must have been 18+!). I guess courage and social skills weren’t my strong point. I also think the desire to learn was teased out of me too…



8. I only have my theory and practical test before I am able to loose the ‘L’ plates on the motorbike. My lodger pestered me to learn to ride or drive, so I managed to pass a CBT and get close to being able to ride the motorways in freedom. Go me!



9. I drink seldom, I don’t smoke and have never done drugs. But I am a chocoholic, and I love a KFC Colonel’s Three Piece Meal. OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

And finally;



10. I like entering competitions, and have won an original X-Box I managed to practise a lot on Midtown Madness 3 since I was trying to enter the running for the IGUK competition, but I couldn’t enter for some reason. Within a few months, I went to a games show event in London’s Shepherds Bush, and lo and behold, a Midtown Madness 3 competition was taking place. Aside from a scare in the second heat where I had my bus (!) caught on a concrete barrier, I managed to win the top prize without many problems.

So, that’s the more private facts of myself in a nutshell. Just to let you know, I've also spotted the Guiness Book of World Records Gamers Edition 2009 will be released this week. I'm hoping to own a copy.

Comment away.

Batthink out.

Hello, and it’s a big welcome back to Mr. Batthink, one of the many lurkers that this wonderful site called Destructoid has. For those new to me, and wondering who the hell I am, this amazing lad of 27 years of age who has overcome mental trauma, public and popular distain, as well as the odd mistake in the job-seeking department, and got life back on track (thanks in most part to God). A gamer since the C64 years, I’m on DToid’s IRC channel, trying to get attention like the attention-whore that I am, and occasionally farting and sneezing at the same moment (the IRCers there may know what I mean, since they actually saved my documentation of the slightly painful and surprising incident).

Anyway, I’ve had to recently move house, which explains my sudden almost-disappearance from the internet. Still, I’ve been able to use my local library’s connection, whilst BT constructs a 6MB broadband connection in a bid to keep my custom. That connection better be enough for my Xbox 360 to play online decently.

In the way of gaming, I’ve concentrated my efforts on Far Cry 2 (360), Eternal Sonata (360), SNK Arcade Collection Volume One (PSP), and Star Ocean: First Departure (PSP).



Far Cry 2 I have finished, and found it a worthy enough effort by the boys at Ubisoft. It plays well, with only the frequency of weapon-rust and, subsequently, weapon-jamming becoming an annoyance. Well, that and one particular mission where everything went FUBAR. Upon entering the corrugated iron-shed of the head of one of the factions (war-torn African country, y’see), I spotted the aforementioned target. He cried, ‘Charlie, what’s going on?’ before I increased his weight somewhat with a hail of lead bullets. The target then decided to curl up on the floor, and, in the middle of a gunfight with understandably angry bodyguards, spasm out of the building through the south exit. Said bodyguards displayed use of the ability to float upwards against the building, even to the point of shooting through the roof. I knew this was going to be a hard mission, but honestly…



As for Eternal Sonata, I’ve had to put playing the game on hold. A very lovely looking game, along with a research of Chopin’s life that helps the game achieve a personal touch. However, a couple of little stinkers (I won’t name names) misplaced my scart connection at the youth club where I took the 360 to, so I’ll have to wait until I get it back to finish it off. I just hope the ending was a bit better than Far Cry 2’s climax. Note to self: try to persuade someone on Retroforce Go! (DToid’s best podcast) to parody Polka’s whiny voice. Hopefully Topher Cantler will be made to have a go.



This has lead me to plug away at the PSP (my DS, for which I need to complete Final Fantasy III, is still being fixed; I can’t be bothered to set up the PS2/Wii yet). I’ve completed most of the games (sixteen, count ‘em) on the SNK Aracde Classics, and I must admit, I’m interested to see what they release for volume two. I heard there was even a version for the little Wii. Do tell me how the controls ended up for that, will you?

I’ve never been a big one-on-one beat-em-up fan (only six foot, sadly), so Art of Fighting, Fatal Fury, KOF ’94 and World Heroes (the poor man’s time-travel ruckus) did little to change my view. However, Samurai Shodown (Showdown? A play on Shogun?) actually had me grinning. Playing as Charlotte, I cut, and was cut down by, the opposition in a similar manner to the other bunch of games, but I found it more fun than the rest. Could it have been the fact that less moves were required to learn on each character? Or just fighting with a sword made the difference? Or a final boss where you didn’t feel you needed to spam a single move? Either way, I want to check the other games in the series. This might be the beginning of a wonderful relationship…

Otherwise, more diamonds in the rough. Looking a little ragged were Sengoku and Burning Fight, a couple of scrolling brawlers that stand in the shadow of Streets of Rage. With tins begging for change. In need of a change was King of the Monsters (enough said), the half decent Last Resort couldn’t get sued by R-Type because there was no ‘spaceship and drone’ copyright and Top Hunter was an okay platform adventure. And there is no easy mode to Magician Lord, a game cursed with the most diabolical translation imaginable (‘Be dead down there!’).

The diamonds started appearing in the form, constructed by the bases upon the dirt within the stadium, of Baseball Stars 2. To my mind, it is in the running for Best Arcade Baseball Game Ever, unless someone knows a coin-op that says otherwise. The right amount of character, sound effects and drama to draw the casual player in, and enough to enthral the hardcore one.

Then, what can we say about the game that is synonymous with the letters SNK, Metal Slug? I’m sure you already know that it is the best parody of commando-based shooters out there, with lovely animation and drawings to boot. A little less slowdown could have made things better, but it is still fun. Coming along one year later in the Neo-Geo’s life-cycle, and Shock Troopers could have taken that award that I mentioned above. More arcadey, more-anime-ish than Metal Slug, with a top-down perspective than a side-on one, it has a place in my heart but not on the pages of history.

The only game I’ve left to mention is Neo Turf Masters, or to put its full title, Neo Turf Masters 3: The Next Glory FX Turbo Hyper Kitchen Sink Unnecessary Long Title Edition (try to guess where I added words). It’s arcade-effort on the beautiful game, whether you call it football or soccer you needn’t argue about, since SNK didn’t offend anyone by including either word in the title. A very good effort too, but some way of increasing the time of a half surely? This is an arcade classic, after all.



And finally out of the SNK-gasm, and into the RPG haven I regularly inhabit (btw, did SNK do Koldeka, the PS1 RPG with the World’s First Welsh Videogame Heroine? I’m pretty sure…). Star Ocean is a game that never made its way to British shores in its original SNES form. I am sad about it, but no more. I purchased a copy of the highly-regarded series in its new Director’s-Cut Hyper 2008 Edition for the Sony handheld, and I am happy. It has a ‘Star Trek’ plot from the view of those the other side of the Prime Directive. I’ve travelled through the land, levelling up my group to Level 30+ proportions, and I’m about to have a friendly chat with four kings of Roak. No doubt they’ll be happy to see two Earth space-travellers, two be-tailed warriors with the most unlikely hair-colours imaginable, one highlander, one emo-featherfolk (*cough*angel*cough) and a lady handy in orb-mashing (who may or may not be undead), ask about an Eye of somethingorother. A joke can be made out of this, surely?

And for some reason, there seems to be a cut in the first cut-scene of the story. It seems to happen just before Millie announces that ‘it’s all settled, then…’ and then you start control of the game proper. Do you think that short period had to be removed in order to fit the rest of the game in? Would that scene be floating around the internet, the desktop recycling bin or the cutting room floor?

And that brings an end to my activities for the while. By the time you read this, I’ll be seeing if my internet connection is up to snuff on the 360. In the meantime, a little thought; just because Sony isn’t doing all that well with the PSP, doesn’t mean that they’ve ‘failed’.

Looking above, it’s quite clear why I show my support. Retro-games or new versions of them get released quite a lot on the PSP, and at the beginning, that was nearly all the PSP had on offer. Games like Exit and Loco Roco came out, but didn’t help change people’s minds about the amount of identi-ports. It became a serious problem in my eyes, since I heard a rumour that Level 5 would release a Dark Cloud sequel on it and got me salivating for its mere presence (the game that they eventually released was Jeanne D’arc, an RPG I still haven’t had the pleasure of trying). You can’t help but feel let down by Sony and their PR.

Nowadays, people here are waiting for that Final Fantasy Game Where You Have A Chance To Beat Up Tidus, but the fact that anyone is fapping to a game that is on a handheld that isn’t made by Nintendo is akin to a minor miracle. Sony has done amazingly well to just get a foothold in a market where Nintendo dominate. Remember the Game Gear? The Atari Lynx? The Neo Geo Pocket, even? Didn’t they do well? But did they do better than the Sony PSP?

I’ve got a few personal reasons of my own to support it. Europe is getting games that never got on the PSP, like Tales of the World or Star Ocean. This may be true also of the NDS, which I love as well, but that is no reason to knock the other handheld.

Rant over. Soon, I’ll be introducing a new blog with a different topic that you can contribute to. All I can say is that the title is ‘Perfect Match’. See if you can guess what that means.

Batthink out.

Welcome back to another edition of the Art Dump. Above is, what I believe the crescendo of humour witnessed in HiImDaisy's Metal Gear Solid 2 events in four parts. It's like a 'Shakespeare's complete works in ten minutes' version. Remember, if you haven't played Kojima's PS2 game, you'll come across spoilers. But since it is ragingly funny, why should I bother with warning you, get to it!

In my news, I've just completed FF: Tactics on the PSP. Finally. The odd coda contained in the ending seemed to leave me feeling strange after what was a great story of hope tinged with tragedy, but nevermind. Four Final Fantasies down, eight or nine more to go.

To the artwork!



Ramza by Meiwren (Oh, a Tactics character, how topical!)



FF - Vincent's Redemption by Cataclysm-X



Mario Labyrinth by Pika-La-Cynique



Fight of the Fallen by Arcipello (more Bionic Commando artwork)



Early Xmas by Eguana (Kingdom Hearts Fan Art)



FF Dissidia - Four Heroes by Risachantag



Godot by xXxRenoxXx

Enjoy!

Batthink out.

Ah, Ashly. How old ladies adore you. In a creepy way.

This week on the Art Dump, Jollyjack may have given me the impression that he may have been involved in the design stage of the third Banjo Kazooie game. Since he mentions about clues to this in this DeviantArt comments under his artwork, I am pretty sure.

If I'm right, it couldn't have happened to a better artist. Although some of his work is sometimes NSFW depictions of furries, he's got some excellent 'How To Play...' guide comic strips and fan art, particularly his recent artwork of the Channel 4's UK phone-pranker, Fonejacker.

"Hello, sah! I'm from your baaaank! I just like to make you awar' of tha intaresting artworks in your DeviantArt account that need protecting, and I would like your password..."



Run, Banjo. Run.



Piddles by Jollyjack



Evil Toymaker by Jollyjack



Evil Toymaker At Play by Jollyjack



Street Fighter II Turbo 2b by Joe Ng and Adam Vehige (Udon Crew)



Custom Samus Action Figure by Red3183



Street Fighter IV 1 by Arnold Tsang (Udon Crew)



Lego Batman Cover by Joe Ng and Espen Grundetjern (Udon Crew)



Character Select: Akuma by Alvin Lee and Espen Grundetjern (Udon Crew)



Character Select: Deejay by Alvin Lee and Espen Grundetjern (Udon Crew)



Chibi Tight Clothes by RDCarneiro

Your thoughts, grumps and moans, feel free to load a comment with them.

Batthink out.