Ladies, gentlemen, and transgendered of America. I would like to thank you. Thank you for meeting the call to act. The call to inspire. The call to change. Thank you for electing me your President of the United States. We have come far but there is still much to be done. But we can make it. We can do it and will do it because we have hope and the audacity of hope is unifying.
There are many of us concerned with the current state of our economy. What we are experiencing is a test... an audacious test. This test is a call for each and every American to give change to others to spread the wealth around. My new economic policies of trickle down hope-o-nomics
we will give hope to each and every American. We will cut taxes for people who don't pay taxes at all! That
, America, is true change.
We need to put down the videogames and pick up the burden of our fellow brethren. We should be guardians of each others' well being. My Aunt Zeituni
shouldn't be living in a slum. You as American taxpayers need to realize your obligations to help out people like my family. That, ladies and gentlemen, is true hope.
And with hope, comes change. So let us unify in unity under a new America. An America that brings success to the unified ignorant and those who don't take action. An America that will forgo a petroleum-based energy infrastructure and embrace hope-powered homes and automobiles - hopemobiles
, if you will. An America that casts aside the once-powerful dollar and embraces change. An America that doesn't care about the selfish goals of a hairy, incompetent person of Afghani descent or a boring videogame website. Most of all, an America that hopes to unify for change...